


Bea Brave

by AviE85



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 112,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9261260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AviE85/pseuds/AviE85
Summary: Lonely divorcee Bea Smith has no interest in dating.But will a chance encounter with a beautiful blonde change her mind?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm a fic-writing virgin, be gentle!  
> Sorry in advance for any typos

Bea Smith swipes the rubber band on her wrist beneath the red rays of the scanner, the loud beep emitting from the accompanying turnstyle signalling her permission to enter. Gulping her apprehension down, she enters the gym, already regretting her decision to come alone.   
Franky was supposed to meet her here, their bi-weekly 'gym date' as Franky calls it, has been a standing arrangement since Bea's daughter Debbie had left to travel the world before starting Uni next year.   
  
Bea had been more than happy spending her days working in the hair salon that her friend Maxine owns and her nights alone at home, some nights on the phone to Debbie when she was able to get signal or the time differences worked.   
Bea delighted in hearing about the adventures she was partaking in, having never travelled herself.   
She could almost burst with pride over the strong, independent person her daughter has become, in spite of the shitty life Debbie had been subjected to, that Bea felt she didn't have the strength to tear herself and her beloved girl away from.   
  
Her divorce from Harry had been finalised a year ago.   
After almost 20 years with him and the emotional and physical abuse that she tolerated for reasons that still escape her, the day finally came when he went too far.   
In a way she was grateful for that day, it was a means to an end, but it was still a lingering memory, one which sometimes she thinks she may never shake.   
She and Debbie had sold up and moved away from the family home where the ghosts of their old life lingered.   
They had bought one of those new trendy shipping container-come-designer-homes at Debbie's insistence, the younger Smith believing her Mum was entitled to a bit of extravagance for the first time in her life. Bea wasn't really fussed with where they lived, as long as they were together and free of the past.   
  
As Bea rounds the corner into the cardio room, she pulls her headphones over her ears and switches her mp3 player on loud enough to drown out the horrid dance beat that pounds overhead. She takes a quick survey of the room, thankful its relatively quiet for this time of the evening.   
Less than a dozen people are in the large room, a few women with their eyes buried in their phone screens as they lazily ride the exercise bikes or walk casually on the treadmills.   
Bea exhales sharply, the relief that there are no men in this room washing over her, calming her ever so slightly.   
  
She had heard that the gym was a meat market of sorts and it was for this reason that she made sure she had Franky with her each time.   
Not that Bea considered herself attractive or desirable, Harry's negative voice a lasting remnant echoing in the back of her brain.   
  
Whatever Franky's reasons were for backing out suddenly had better be good, Bea thought to herself.   
She had to be talked into the whole gym idea in the first place, Franky and the girls from the salon insisting Bea needed a past time of her own, worrying about her going home to an empty house night after night.   
Bea is content with her own company however, she has no interest in dating, in fact the entire concept seems so foreign and terrifying to her.   
  
She's content for the first time in her life.   
There's a calmness to her life now that has never been there before and Bea's perfectly satisfied with seeing that permeate.   
  
As Bea climbs onto the nearest exercise bike, flicking her towel over one of the handlebars and settling her bottle of water into the holder, she beings to pedal as she eyes the door with deliberation.   
It's not too late to go home, she reminds herself internally.   
  
She finishes her usual 30 minute interval with a fine sheen of sweat against her forehead and a slightly elevated heartrate.   
As Bea climbs down from the hard seat and throws her leg over the bike, she stands beside it for a moment while she takes a gulp of water.   
She grabs a handful of her long black singlet and pulls it away from her sticky chest when she feels as though she's being watched.   
She turns her glance to a young blonde on a nearby treadmill and meets the stranger's stare. She holds Bea's gaze, clearly not concerned with being caught staring as a wry smile pulls at the corner of her ample lips.   
Bea stares blankly for a moment before self consiousness overtakes her and she fixes her eyes firmly to the floor.   
She takes another sip, trying her best to think nothing of it, but as she lifts her gaze again, she's met with the same stare and accompanying smile.   
  
Bea racks her mind trying to come up with a logical explanation for the sudden attention.   
She is certain she doesn't recognise her.   
The woman is not a client of hers at the salon and she doesn't recall seeing her around the gym before, not that she notices other people that much.   
So why on earth would she be staring at her like that?   
  
Bea had planned to use the treadmill next but something makes her change her mind, something blonde and way too friendly looking.   
She eyes the stair climber at the opposite end of the room and decides its the perfect amount of distance away to reinstate her waning comfort level.   
She hurries past the blonde, her head firmly down. She's never used this particular piece of equipment before but she's seen Franky use it a handful of times, however half-assed her efforts were, so Bea thinks it can't be too hard to figure out.   
  
She's wrong, _so wrong_ , and all the button pressing in the world isnt helping her now.   
  
Bea is dumbfounded as to why she can feel a hot blush of embarrassment creeping up her skin, coating her chest and threatening her cheeks, matching her flame red curls when out of the corner of her eye she sees a tall blonde figure approaching her confidently.   
The answer as to why she's blushing hits her when she realises the blonde has been watching her.   
  
Bea wills her fingertips to calm the hell down, if she stops pressing the buttons so vehemently then maybe the blonde will leave her be.   
Another thing she's wrong about.   
She sees long fingertips grip the display from behind and she's forced to look up then, realising the woman is saying something to her.   
  
Bea pulls her headphones away from her ears, her hands hanging in the air.   
  
"Sorry, what?" She rasps.   
  
The woman smiles that same wry smile at her, her light blue eyes locked onto Bea's brown ones.   
  
"I said do you need help?" She repeats with a hint of amusement.   
  
"Oh... no, I'm fine. Thanks."   
  
Bea lets her headphones snap back onto her ears, signalling that their conversation is over, drowning the stranger out once more with whatever generic Top 30 crap Debbie has filled Bea's mp3 player with.   
Bea looks up from the display again when she notices the fingers aren't moving and meets the woman's eyes once more, her lips moving to form some sentence that Bea really isn't interested in.   
She pulls at her headphones again, a little less friendly this time.   
  
"Huh?" She utters with a furrowed brow.   
  
"I said it seems like you need help. Are you sure I can't give you a hand with it? It's no trouble."   
  
The way her eyes are locked onto Bea's is making her feel uncomfortable and she doesn't entirely know why.   
Bea fixes her headphones around her neck and decides to let her help, maybe then she might leave her alone.   
Its not that she's unpleasant, she's probably not at all, Bea just isn't comfortable with strangers and there's just something about this particular one that's making Bea feel odd.   
  
"Alright." She concedes.   
  
She smiles and slides around beside Bea, standing a little too close to her on the same stair.   
Bea inches away, her action almost missable for how slight it is.   
As the blonde slowly guides her through the settings, pressing this button then that button, she glances back at Bea after every instruction.   
Bea just nods slowly, a blank look painting her strong features. Her thoughts are louder than the stranger's gentle voice and she finds herself paying more attention to her internal monologue, wishing this awkward time away.   
She's bought back to reality by a pause and Bea assumes that she must be finished.   
  
"If you need help with anything else in here, I'm happy if you want to ask me. I'm Allie."   
  
Bea just stares blankly for a moment. The storm of words in her brain has well and truly passed now and there's nothing but silence inside her.   
She has no reply, no idea, not a single thought. Allie quirks a perfectly preened eyebrow and that sly half smile returns.   
  
"This is the part where you tell me your name."   
  
Bea tries to hide her heavy exhalation. This whole situation seems like far too much work for someone who was only half invested in being there in the first place.   
The thought of having to create conversation with a stranger is far more than Bea was prepared for.   
  
"It's Bea." She murmurs reluctantly.   
  
"Bea? That's a nice name."   
  
"Yea... well I didn't pick it."   
  
She moves to position her headphones back over her ears, but she's stopped by that persistent voice.   
  
"You come here often?"   
  
Bea can't seem to hide her frown. Allie notices straight away and rolls her crystal eyes, laughing a breathy giggle.   
  
"God, sorry, that didn't sound like such a terrible pick up line inside my head."   
  
Bea just stares. Her mind is a cyclone, thoughts and questions swirling and she can't decide how to respond.   
She stares into Allie's eyes that are locked onto hers, searching for some explanation, some trace of an answer.   
What on earth did she mean by that?   
  
"Strong, silent type, hey Bea? That's cool, I can work with that." Allie says smoothly, breaking the awkward silence.   
  
Bea scoffs in reply, shaking her head as she finally manages to get her headphones back on without being interrupted.   
She shifts her focus to the display and manages to get it started, Allie jumping off before it starts whirring and moving beneath her feet.   
The blonde gives her one last look over her shoulder as she walks away. She's out of Bea's line of vision now but she can still feel those aqua eyes upon her.   
  
Bea manages to get through the remainder of her workout without being disturbed. The blonde had seemingly disappeared after their conversation - if that strained exchange of small and insignificant words could pass as conversation.   
Bea wipes her face, slick with sweat against her towel and takes a few gulps from her bottle before she throws the towel around her neck and makes her way purposefully toward the locker room.   
The gentle burn in her muscles had given her mind something else to focus on for a while and she was a little relieved not to have seen Allie again.   
  
As she turns the corner into the locker room, the small piece of relief she had let herself indulge in all but fell away as she came face to face with Allie again.   
It stops her in her tracks for a second to see her bent over her duffle bag right near Bea's locker.   
  
There's a trace of that wry smile that she had seen earlier as the blonde drags the zipper along her bag and tosses the strap over her shoulder.   
Bea hears her footsteps begin to retreat as she drives her key into the locker's jagged keyhole and begins to collect her belongings, her back to the friendly stranger.   
The sound of footsteps stops abruptly.   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
Bea turns instantly, meeting her gaze with mild confusion.   
  
"Pardon?"   
  
"For helping you with the stair climber.... you never said thank you."   
  
It's true. In all of her awkward discomfort she had forgotten her manners.   
As uncomfortable as she is with the blonde's attention and as irritated as her comment just now was making her, she concedes.   
  
"Oh... thank you."   
  
Allie smiles again, her eyes lingering a little too long and making Bea feel odd all over again.   
  
"Anytime..... see ya round, Bea."  
  
  
_

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Franky go out for a drink after work and bump into a certain blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BIG thank you to everyone who took the time to leave comments and kudos, you guys blew my mind!  
> I hope you enjoy this longer chapter :)

"Morning asshole" Franky calls across the salon as Bea enters.  
  
Bea rolls her eyes as she closes the door behind her, coffee in hand.  
  
"Is that for me?" Franky teases as she prepares her work station for the day ahead.  
  
Bea zips past, depositing her belongings in the back office before reappearing with a scowl.  
  
"No way. You ditched me last night. I think that makes _you_ the asshole."  
  
"Aww diddums, Red," she pouts, mimicing the action of playing a small violin. "You're a big girl, you can go to the fuckin gym on your own, can't ya? Besides, I had something more pressing to deal with."  
  
Bea groans. Sometimes she wonders how the two of them are able to maintain a friendship.  
Franky, with her heavily tattooed skin, smart ass attitude and obnoxiously loud mouth is the polar opposite to Bea; quiet, reserved and introverted.  
  
Thankfully, it's early and the shop isn't open yet, Maxine and the others yet to arrive.  
  
"You're the one who made me start going to the bloody gym in the first place. It's not my thing Franky, I don't think I want to go anymore."  
  
"Bullshit. Why not? Did some meat head hit on ya last night?" She digs slyly, sensing Bea's discomfort.  
  
"Nah, there wasn't any guys there, thank God."  
  
"So... what? Did some _girl_ hit on ya?" Franky jokes with a cheeky grin plastered across her thin lips.  
  
"No." Bea says firmly as she pulls her trolley beside her and begins to rifle through the drawers.  
  
"Although there was some weird girl who kept trying to talk to me." She says nonchalantly.  
  
Franky instantly snaps her gaze to Bea, eyebrows raising in interest. "What girl? What did she say?"  
  
Bea shrugs. "Just some girl using the gym equipment. She showed me how to use the stair climber and introduced herself."  
  
"Then what? Tell me everything that was said," Franky says almost frantically.  
  
"Then... nothing. She asked me for my name, which I gave her, she asked me if I go there often and then she made some smart ass comment about me being the strong and silent type then I put my headphones on and ignored her"  
  
Franky grins, her arms crossed her chest with an air of smug satisfaction about her. "So you did get hit on."  
  
"No," Bea protests. "She was just overly friendly."  
  
"There's no such thing as overly friendly, dickhead, she was into ya." Franky quips with amusement.  
  
Bea scoffs. The whole idea of someone being interested in her, a woman especially, seems so preposterous to her.  
  
"Piss off. She looked about 10 years younger than me, what would she want with someone like me?"  
  
"Fucked if I know," Franky shoots back, hands raised defensively. "Was she hot?"  
  
Bea rolls her eyes and stops rearranging her various combs and brushes to place one hand on her hip. "I'm not gay, Franky," she sighs, sounding slightly exasperated.  
  
"How do you know? You were stuck with that asswipe for half your life. I bet you've never even seen another penis besides his."  
  
It's true, as hard as it is for Bea to admit.  
She met Harry when she was 16 and before she knew it, she was pregnant.  
They married at 18 at the insistence of Harry's religious family and she had always been faithful, partly out of disinterest in anybody else, partly out of possessing a strong moral code that didn't allow her to stray, but mostly out of fear of what Harry would have done to her if she had strayed and he had found out.  
  
"Gross, Franky," she utters and is met with her friend's cheeky smile once more.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I bailed on our gym date, it won't happen again alright? Just promise me you won't quit. Don't tell anyone but I kind of like hanging out with ya," Franky admits quietly.  
  
She glances past Bea at the front door as Maxine enters the salon with Liz and Boomer, the other hairdressers who work at the shop.  
They're talking and laughing as they enter so Franky stands closely beside Bea so they can converse without straining to hear each other.  
  
"Let me make it up to ya, how about we go out for a drink after work tonight? My shout?" The seriousness of Franky's expression resonates with Bea and she finds herself nodding in agreement.  
  
"Fine. But ditch me again and I'm coming for you, Doyle," she says with a pointed finger and a smirk on her lips.  
  
Franky mirrors her expression . "Wouldn't dream of it, Smith."  
  
Franky turns back to her workstation and grabs a nearby broom, sweeping the tiled floor beneath her boot-clad feet.  
  
"So you never said why you had to cancel last night," Bea enquires.  
  
Franky leans her wiry body against the handle of the broom as she smiles playfully. "Bridget called. She asked me to come home and feed puss."  
  
Bea nods. It takes her a moment to realise that Franky and her girlfriend Bridget, who had recently moved in together, don't own a cat.  
  
"Wait, when did you get a..."  
  
Bea is interrupted when Franky flicks her tongue against the webbing between her index and middle fingers, shaped like a V on her lips. Bea feels her cheeks redden as she shakes her head, her face screwed up into a scowl.  
  
"Fuck sake, Franky."  
  
......  
  
  
The day passes quickly and before Bea knows it, she's putting the final touches on her last client for the day.  
Maxine processes the woman's payment and guides her to the door as Bea emerges from the back room with two steaming mugs and she takes a seat at the small round table in the front corner of the shop.  
She can feel the late afternoon sun piercing through the horizontal blinds and she inhales the steam from her mug into her nostrils as she brings it to her lips.  
It's calm, quiet moments like these that Bea enjoys.  
After all the shit and chaos of her former life, she revels in times like these when its just her, alone with her thoughts.  
  
Maxine interrupts her train of thought when she sits beside her, giving her a glance so warm it makes Bea smile.  
  
"You okay love?"  
  
Maxine's voice is soft and gentle and immediately adds to Bea's feeling of comfort.  
  
"I'm good, thanks Max. Just enjoying the quiet."  
  
The shop is empty now, Liz and Boomer having already finished for the day and gone home.  
Franky had taken it upon herself to hang out the loads of clean towels, giving Maxine a chance to relax and catch up with Bea.  
Maxine closes a warm hand around Bea's wrist softly as she takes a sip from her cup.  
  
"How's Debbie?"  
  
Bea smiles wider at the mere thought of her daughter. "She's great, she's in London at the moment, she's having the time of her life."  
  
"And you still speak often?"  
  
Bea nods emphatically. "She calls me when she can and we email each other every other day."  
  
"I'm glad. And how are you doing? Coping ok without her?"  
  
Bea glances down at the cup between her hands, her smile fading a little.  
She's practiced her response to this inevitable question in her mind repeatedly, but she knows that Maxine will see right through the pretense.  
  
"I'm ok...mostly. I miss her like crazy. And I worry about her, she's so far away."  
  
Maxine nods knowingly, a small amount of sadness in her dark eyes.  
She takes one of Bea's hands in her own.  
Bea inhales deeply, trying to choke back the lump that's forming in the back of her throat.  
  
"I know love. But you know we're all here for you. And if you ever need some company, the girls and I always have time for you. All you have to do is just say the word, ok?"  
  
Bea feels soothed by her friend's voice, smooth and warm like honey.  
She can't bring herself to speak for fear that she may falter and break out into tears so she settles for a nod and pats the back of Maxine's hand against hers.  
  
"Why don't you pop around to my place for dinner tonight?" Maxine offers kindly, recognising the shift in her demeanour.  
  
The kindness of her gesture is enough to bring Bea's smile back and she lifts her eyes to her friend's once more.  
  
"Thanks Max, that's sweet, but I've got plans with Franky tonight. We're going out for a drink."  
  
"That's good love. You two seem to be spending a bit of time together."  
  
Bea nods, rolling her eyes as she smiles. "I think it's out of pity."  
  
Maxine laughs softly, squeezing Bea's hand briefly before taking her mug between both of her hands again.  
  
"She's just looking out for you, hun. We all are. None of us likes the idea of you sitting at home by yourself."  
  
Bea feels her chest grow warm with affection. She feels so blessed to have wonderful friends around her, offering their support.  
God knows her life hasn't been easy, but her friends have well and truly compensated for that this past year.  
  
"I know. Thanks Maxine." She murmurs quietly.  
  
Their tender moment is interrupted by Franky's loud bellowing from the back room, becoming louder as she approaches.  
  
"OK ladies, the bitch work is done. Let's go get our drink on, Red."  
  
She appears from around the corner, wallet and keys in hand as she threads her other arm through her deep green jacket.  
  
"Can we take the bike?"  
  
.....  
  
  
Bea pulls her black Harley Davidson up in front of the pub, Franky's grip around her waist loosening as she pushes the heavy black helmet off her head with a wide grin.  
  
"Fuck, I've got to convince Bridget to let me get one of these, they're fuckin awesome," she exclaims as she climbs off the back and stands next to Bea, who pulls her own helmet off, revealing the smile beneath.  
  
"Are you seriously telling me that Bridget has managed to put you on a leash?"  
  
Franky throws her head back with a loud laugh as Bea climbs off her bike and begins to make her way inside the pub with her tattooed friend.  
  
"No way, Franky Doyle can't be tamed," she announces coyly as Bea laughs softly with a shake of her head.  
  
They find a table towards the left of the room, not too far away from the bar which is surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night.  
Franky leaves Bea at the table to go and fetch their drinks from the bar and Bea decides to use the time to pull her phone out of her pocket, checking to see if there are any texts or emails from Debbie.  
To her surprise, there are no notifications on the screen.  
She glances up and sees Franky about 4 people back in the line and she decides to send her daughter a quick message while she waits.  
As Bea opens her messages and begins to type slowly, silently cursing herself for still not being able to master technology, she hears a timid but slightly familiar voice calling her name.  
She glances up, her eyes locking with a familiar blonde.  
  
"Bea? I thought that was you," She says with a bright smile.  
  
Bea stares blankly, words and a suitable reaction failing her.  
  
"It's Allie.... from the gym. You know, that annoying girl who interrupted your workout last night."  
  
She smiles warmly from the opposite side of the tall bar table as Bea's wits finally come back to her and she returns a small grin.  
  
"I haven't forgotten... hi," she says shyly.  
  
"Hi," Allie laughs, holding Bea's uncomfortable glance. "You have a motorbike?" she utters, gesturing to the pair of black helmets on the tabletop.  
  
"Oh, yeah I do. A Harley."  
  
Allie's smile widens. "Wow, that's so cool. I've always loved motorbikes."  
  
The way she's looking at Bea is making her feel strange, like someone has wrapped her in a thermal blanket.  
She nods at Allie's remark, unsure of what to say.  
Allie is a stranger after all and she isn't used to making small talk.  
Harry used to say he hated hearing the sound of her voice at times, the natural, low husk in her voice wasn't feminine enough for his liking.  
After almost 20 years in that environment where she was constantly forced to surpress almost all communication, silence comes naturally to her now, except when she's with Debbie and her friends.  
  
Allie cocks her head slightly, trying to catch Bea's eye again, the redhead clearly not aware that she'd drifted off with her thoughts.  
  
"How long have you been riding?" She tries, perservering through the awkward silence that's befallen them.  
  
Bea opens her mouth to respond as Franky emerges from the crowd, a drink in each hand and a deep crease between her frowning eyebrows.  
  
"Place is fuckin packed," she growls as she glides past Allie and places their drinks on the table, sliding onto the bar stool beside her friend.  
  
Bea notices the slight fall in Allie's expression as she watches Franky peel her jacket off and toss it unceremoniously onto the table, her black singlet revealing her colourful half-sleeve of ink up her right arm.  
Allie's eyes dance between Bea's and Franky's for a beat before she nervously winds her hands in the hem of her long shirt.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't realise... I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll leave you to it," she utters, no trace of the smile that Bea hasn't seen her without, before she turns and disappears into the growing crowd.  
  
"Who was that?" Franky asks with intrigue before she takes a sip of her drink.  
  
Bea's dark eyes are fixed firmly on her own drink. "No one," she replies, trying to sound nonchalant.  
  
"Bullshit, Red. I know you, you're like a kid whose parents have drummed stranger danger into 'em. I know you don't talk to randoms. So come on, spill."  
  
Bea takes a deep breath and an even bigger gulp of her drink, hoping the alcohol will help the answer come more easily. She relents with a sigh.  
  
"Just that girl I was telling you about," she utters quietly, eyes still locked downwards.  
  
"The chick from the gym last night?"  
  
Bea nods, swirling her strawer in the liquid in front of her. She can hear the smirk on Franky's lips.  
  
"The one that hit on you?"  
  
"She didn't hit on me Franky," Bea sighs, exhasperation thick in her voice.  
  
"Uh, yes she fuckin did. Holy shit, Red, she's fuckin hot!" Franky exclaims, her brown eyes wide in delight.  
  
Bea can only shake her head in reply.  
  
"What, hot blondes don't do it for ya? Come on Red, gay or not you gotta admit, she's sexy."  
  
Bea allows herself to admit that yes, Allie _is_ attractive, beautiful even.  
With her shoulder length blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, full lips and tall, slender body, Bea can see how Allie could be perceived as hot, as Franky had put it.  
  
"Ok, she's pretty," she concedes quietly. "But it doesn't change the fact that I'm not-"  
  
"Not gay," Franky interrupts. "Yea, yea, whatever you say. Why don't you ask her for her number?"  
  
Bea's eyes narrow in frustration at the realisation that her friend clearly is not listening to her.  
  
"Seriously?" She snaps back, a scowl painting her expression.  
  
"Seriously." Franky says flatly. "You could just text her or whatever and see how things go. If you're not into her that way then fine, at least you've taken a chance and tried, nothing ventured, nothing gained or some shit."  
  
Bea can only writhe uncomfortably on her stool, a sudden blush colouring her cheeks.  
  
"She's probably not even into me like that," she says quietly.  
  
Franky scoffs. "Are you serious? Did you see the way she looked when I sat down beside ya? That was pure disappointment. She probably thinks we're a... couple," she says between pretend heaves, earning a soft punch in the upper arm from Bea.  
  
"Grow a pair, Red. Girls like that don't come along often. Fuck, if I wasn't with Bridget I'd have my tongue down Blondie's throat right about now."  
  
Bea doesn't react, her own thoughts weighing too heavily on her mind.  
No. She can't.  
The idea of her dating someone, a _woman_ particularly, is one that has never entered her head.  
She has no conversational skills and never in her life before has she asked anybody for their number.  
When her divorce had finalised, Bea closed that chapter of her life, seemingly sealing any future dating prospects along with it.  
She's not sure what's more overwhelming, the fact that somebody might be romatically interested in her, or the fact that that someone is a woman.  
As she drains her drink then subsequently downs a second, she's already decided to ignore Franky's advice.  
If Allie is indeed interested in her like Franky says she is, then Bea would hate to get her hopes up, she's straight and its all she's even known herself to be.  
And then there's the obvious age difference.  
The tally of reasons why Bea can't indulge in this- whatever it is- is mounting up and Bea feels silly for ever entertaining the thought in the first place.  
  
As they prepare to leave an hour and a half later, Bea tells Franky to wait at their table while she goes to the bathroom.  
She pulls the thick wooden door back and enters the small, 2 stall bathroom when she sees Allie standing at the sink, hands covered in suds beneath the softly running tap.  
Her glance moves from the mirror in front of her to lock with Bea's.  
Bea feels herself smile shyly but she doesn't earn the same reaction from the blonde.  
  
"Bea," she sighs quietly and she shuts the water off, reaching for the paper towel peeking out from the dispenser on the wall nearby.  
  
"I'm so sorry about earlier. If I'd known you have a girlfriend, I wouldn't have tried to hit on you last night."  
  
Bea feels her mouth gaping open, her expression blank. She takes in the young woman's face, filled with obvious regret and she feels her blood go slighter warmer.  
Bea can't believe Franky was right. Allie _is_ interested in her.  
  
She comes back to herself when she sees Allie start to move, eyes on the open door still in Bea's hand.  
She shakes herself out of her thought-filled trance, releasing the door and shutting out the noise from the crowded bar.  
  
"She's not my girlfriend," she manages quietly. "We're work colleagues, that's all."  
  
Allie's face softens, a smirk creeping in at the corner of her lips.  
  
"Really?" She asks with a kind of quiet elation.  
  
Bea suddenly realises she's left herself open to misinterpretation and stutters over a quick response.  
  
"I'm straight."  
  
Allie nods, seemingly embarrassed by the way she's misread the sitation, if the blush on her smooth cheeks is anything to go by.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just assumed.... what with the chiseled arms, the motorbike and the undercut," she gestures to Bea's hair.  
  
"God, I don't usually embarrass easily but I kinda feel like an idiot right now," she laughs softly as she brings a hand up to cover her mouth before she drops it by her side again.  
  
"Don't," Bea utters softly, her brown eyes finding the tiled floor when Allie looks at her. "It was a simple mistake, it's fine."  
  
They fall into a brief silence and Bea can feel those crystal eyes burning through her again as she stares down at her feet.  
  
"Well, thank you, I appreciate your kindness. And I'm sorry again. Maybe I'll see you at the gym sometime?" She asks hopefully and Bea can't do anything except nod shyly.  
  
"Good night, Bea."  
  
"Night," she says softly as the blonde walks past her, eyes fixed on Bea, who drops her gaze to the floor again as she smiles uncomfortably.  
  
When Bea comes out of the bathroom stall and washes her hands, she takes a moment to look at herself in the mirror.  
Her eyes trace over her loose, red-brown curls, her brown eyes, long eyelashes and strong jawline.  
She wonders what Allie saw in her, a dumb blush on her face that she's unfortunately worn during each of their encounters.  
She really struggles to understand how someone so young and obviously warm could see anything within her that could be attractive.  
  
Bea hears Harry's snarled voice in the back spaces of her mind, _you're nothing, Bea_.  
She takes a shaky breath as her eyes start to sting with tears.  
She won't let them fall, she refuses to, so she blinks them away and tries to shake off the unpleasant reminder of her past.  
She composes herself just in time as Franky pokes her head inside the door.  
  
"Oi, you ready?"  
  
Bea nods and tosses the wet paper towel into the nearby bin and grabs her helmet from Franky's outstretched hand.  
  
.....  
  
  
Her Harley growls beneath her as she pulls into the salon carpark, stopping beside Franky's car, shutting the loud engine off.  
Franky jumps off, handing her the black helmet that she had become clearly attached to.  
  
"Thanks for taking me out tonight, Frank. I'm really grateful." Bea husks after removing her own helmet and resting it on the tank between her legs.  
  
"Don't thank me yet, you might not like what I do next."  
  
Bea frowns. "You're not gonna try and kiss me, are you?" she jokes playfully.  
  
"You wish," Franky says with a smile and a wink before she reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a crumpled napkin.  
  
She closes a hand over Bea's wrist and pushes the paper into her open palm.  
  
"Don't crack the shits, ok? I'm just trying to help you, fuck knows you won't help yourself."  
  
Bea opens the napkin with a confused frown.  
She feels her stomach flip when she sees Allie's name scrawled underneath a phone number.  
She snaps her head up, seeing Franky looking down at her with uncertainty.  
  
"I talked to her while you were in the bathroom. She seems like a cool chick. It's worth a shot, Red. Just promise me you won't throw that straight in the bin, give her a call and at least talk to her. You never know what could happen."  
  
Franky tussles Bea's crown before she turns and slides into her car, uttering good night over her shoulder and leaving Bea to stare dumbly at the paper in her hands.

 

-  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie weighs in on Bea's situation and Bea and Allie have an interesting encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, kudos and support, I'm overwhelmed that so many of you are digging my story. Please enjoy chapter 3 :)

  
  
Bea just makes it inside the door of her home when her phone rings from her back pocket.

"Hi baby," she squeals as a huge smile spreads across her face.

"Hey Mum," Debbie replies, the same excited squeak in her own tone.

"How are you? Where are you? Are you safe? Are you taking care of yourself?"

Debbie laughs down the phone at her Mum's onslaught of questioning.

"Calm yourself, Mum. I'm fine, we're still in London, we leave for Scotland in a few hours. My friends and I are being careful and taking care of each other.   
So you can stop worrying, I'm fine."

Bea smiles as she settles down onto the sofa, bringing her knees up into her chest as she circles one arm around them.

"Good."

"How was your day? Tell me everything," Debbie says brightly.

"It was alright, work was busy. Franky took me out for a few drinks, I've just got home actually."

"That's great Mum, I'm glad to hear you're not sitting at home waiting for me to call.   
You should be getting out and enjoying yourself, God knows you've earned it."

Bea smiles warmly. "Thanks kid. So have you met any cute boys over there?"

"Ugh no way, I'm not even looking, trust me," Debbie shoots back in mock disgust.

"I couldn't think of anything worse than a holiday romance."

Bea laughs in reply. "That's my girl."

"What about _you_ Mum?" Debbie enquires playfully as Bea's laughter fades.

"What about me baby?"

"Do you think you might ever be interested in dating someday?" Debbie asks softly.

Bea laughs lightly at the hint of hesitation in her daughter's voice.

"I don't know about that one, sweetie. It seems to be a popular topic at the moment though."

"What do you mean?" Debbie asks almost instantly. "Have you met someone?"

"No, well... no," she falters and Debbie quickly pounces on her hesistation.

"What does _that_ mean?" She gasps.

Bea stares at the crumpled napkin in her hand, thoughts of the blonde invading her mind.   
Something Allie said has been playing on her mind.

"Mum?"

"I'm here, baby. Just.... thinking.... Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, is everything OK?"

"Yeah, fine. Just... someone kind of hit on me-"

She's interrupted by a gasp and a squeal on the other end of the phone.

"Tell me everything about him."  
  
"That's the thing, it wasn't a man... It was a woman."

Debbie is silent for a moment and Bea imagines that she's processing her words and choosing her response carefully.

"Wow... Is that something you're interested in?"

A cyclone of thoughts blows through Bea's mind again and its all a bit overwhelming.   
She lays down on the sofa, one arm bent beneath her head.

"Honestly, I don't know. I thought I wasn't, but something she said has got me thinking."

Debbie's concern resonates through the phone. "What did she say?"

Bea hesitates for a moment. "Do I come across as.... gay?"

Debbie scoffs. "How does someone come across as gay?"

Bea swallows hard, replaying the earlier conversation with Allie in her mind.

"Well you know, I ride a motorcycle and there's my haircut-"

Debbie cuts her off abruptly.

"Mum, they're just a bunch of poorly conceived stereotypes.   
So what if you ride a motorbike? So do plenty of other straight women.   
Don't let anybody persuade you into thinking you're a certain way just to serve their own agenda.   
If you want to date a woman, do it because _you_ want to, not because someone else thinks you should."

Bea is quiet. Debbie's weighted words seem to send a jolt of clarity through her limbs.   
She sits up, smiling with pride.

"When did you get so smart, kid?"

Debbie giggles and it makes Bea feel even lighter.

"Well I _have_ been travelling the world for 3 weeks now, so I know everything, obviously." She says matter-of-factly.

"Oh Mum, I've gotta go, the girls and I are going out for breakfast. Will you be alright?"  
  
"Yes baby, I'll be fine, promise. Thanks for the chat. Love you Deb."

"Keep me informed. Love you Mum, to the moon and back."

Bea can't help but smile. She doesn't know how it happened, but Debbie has become a wise, intelligent adult with a wonderful sense of humour.   
She's more than Bea had ever hoped she could be and the fact that she'd just talked Bea through a troubling situation floors her.   
  
As she shuffles slowly upstairs she remembers she still has a dilemma in the form of a paper napkin and an attractive blonde to resolve.   
But it's getting late, she's 2 drinks down and in no position to make any important decisions right now.   
She would hate to make a hasty, possibly life-altering decision just because she's lonely or under the influence of a few scotches.

As Bea crawls into bed a good 15 minutes later, she exhales a long, heavy sigh and relaxes deeply into her soft pillow.   
She drifts off to sleep, images of Allie's gentle features filling her mind, unknowingly putting a slight smile on her lips.

  
......

  
Bea wakes up much earlier than her alarm. She feels unusually energised and just awake.  
She could roll over and attempt to go back to sleep for another hour or so but instead, she impulsively decides to get up and go to the gym.   
It's early so she imagines that there shouldn't be many people there, including one particular blonde that she's happy to avoid for the time being.

Bea is content with the way that she and Allie had left things at the bar.   
She had told the blonde that she's straight and Allie had accepted that, but apparently Franky had other ideas of her own.   
She knows her friend was only trying to help, but Bea could just about throttle her for her interference, especially if it had given Allie any kind of hope for something more.

Seeing as it is so early, she decides to take the car instead of the bike, its loud exhaust likely to wake the neighbours.   
As Bea arrives at the gym, she surveys the almost empty carpark, relieved that there seems to be no one around.  
As she enters the empty cardio room, her relief builds.   
There really is no one here.   
She smirks to herself as she slides onto a nearby exercise bike, leaving her headphones clasped around her neck.   
She isn't much into music, her mp3 player acting more as a security blanket, letting the rest of the world know she's not interested in making conversation.

She's about fifteen minutes into her workout when out of the corner of her eye, she sees a familiar flash of blonde hair approaching.

Fuck.

Allie's eyes lock with Bea's instantly.   
The inevitable sly smile of hers is back of course, curling the corners of her ample lips.   
Bea feels herself groan.   
It's way too early to deal with this, both in the chronological sense and the literal one.  
She manages a brief flicker of a polite smile anyway, her glance falling away as soon as Allie meets it.

"Morning Bea, didn't think I'd bump into you so soon."

In spite of the early hour, Allie looks bright-eyed and pristine, her hair pulled back into a neat ponytail and despite an obvious lack of makeup, her skin looks luminous and flawless.

Bea searches her brain for any kind of reply, begs it to function adequately for once.   
It doesn't help that Allie is gazing at her with such obvious fascination.

"Uhhh yeah... I woke up early," she utters with laboured breath.   
  
Allie slants her lean body against the exercise bike beside Bea, her left leg crossed in front of her right, the picture of ease.  
She takes a moment to appreciate Bea's slightly sweating form and Bea has to turn her glance to the floor just to feel a shred of comfort.

"Do you mind?" She eventually asks, gesturing to the bike beside Bea.

It takes Bea a moment to catch on and it makes Allie's smirk spread even further.

"No... It's fine, I mean."

Allie throws a long leg over the bike and begins to peddle.   
Bea isn't looking, but she can feel Allie's eyes on her.   
It brings a blush to her cheeks and chest and she's grateful that she can blame it on her physical activity rather than her embarrassment.

Bea can't help but think that it was inevitable that of all the bikes in the gym, of course Allie would choose the one that's right beside her.

"So did you have a good time last night?' Allie's soft voice breaks Bea out of her uncomfortable trance.

"Yeah. I guess..... You?"

"It was alright. Some parts were better than others," she replies smoothly, quirking an eyebrow and causing Bea to blush even brighter.

She doesn't reply, she wouldn't even know where to start, she simply lets silence befall them.   
Allie must detect her discomfort because thankfully she doesn't persist.

Bea's mind goes back to the napkin Franky had given her that's currently burning a proverbial hole in her wallet.   
She's half expecting Allie to bring it up.

A while goes past and Bea finally comes to the end of her bike interval. She slows her momentum, Allie noticing instantly, snapping her head around to Bea's direction.   
Bea expects her to do the same but she stays put, keeping a steady pace.

"You finished?" Allie asks as Bea's feet find the ground.

"No, not yet."

Bea manages another brief smile and a nano second of eye contact before she makes her way swiftly to a treadmill not too far away.   
As she climbs upon it, she takes a drink from her bottle.   
She knows Allie is staring.   
She turns and dares herself to glance over for a moment and sure enough, Allie's blue eyes are still firmly on the place where Bea's backside had been a second ago.

Bea rolls her eyes and starts the machine, marching at a comfortable pace.   
It's not long before she notices Allie from the periphery of her vision, the blonde climbing off the bike and coming to stand almost in front of Bea half the width of the room away.  
Bea is confused at first as to why Allie is standing before the mirrored wall where there's no gym equipment but the blonde soon makes it obvious.

Allie makes a show of stretching her body.   
She stands with her legs shoulder-width apart and bends at her waist, her backside aimed directly in Bea's direction.

Bea feels her stomach flip when she realises what Allie's doing.   
She tries to avert her glance, looking at the treadmill's display before her.   
She can still see a fraction of the blonde because of the position she's placed herself in and Bea begins to suspect that it's all part of some elaborate flirting game that Allie has concocted in her silence.

As Allie slowly stands, she meets Bea's gaze in the mirror before her, trying to hide a devious smile as she realises Bea has been watching her.

Bea's chest heaves with her heavy exhalation as she tries to appear unaffected.   
Allie moves slowly over to the treadmill beside Bea and climbs on, not bothering to get Bea's consent this time.

Bea decides then and there that, despite not finishing her usual gym routine, she's had quite enough awkwardness for this early hour of the day.   
Her stomach is filling with heat and it's spilling over into the rest of her limbs.  
Her fingertips tap at the buttons before her, slowing the machine beneath her feet.   
Allie glances over as Bea steps off, clearing her throat uncomfortably as she begins to walk away purposefully.

"Hey Bea?" Allie calls.

Bea stops, hesitant to turn around and meet Allie's stare but after a moment she relents.

Allie grins at her from the treadmill, pressing her towel against her chest to collect the sweat between her breasts.   
Bea swallows hard, dropping her eyes to the ground once again.  
She can hear the self-satisfied smirk in Allie's voice as she speaks again.

"Have a nice day."

Her voice is low and sensual.   
Bea can't help the wave of heat that rolls over her body.   
She dares herself to look at Allie, her brown eyes locking with the blonde's blue ones briefly enough to see Allie wink and for Bea to feel totally uncomfortable.

"Yeah.... you too," She rasps.

She knows Allie is watching her as she leaves the room and it isn't until she's rounded the corner, out of sight of the cardio room that she feels like she can breathe again.

Not too long later, Bea stands in front of the mirror in the shower rooms, fresh from a shower, wearing her favourite purple robe on top of her plain black bra and underwear.   
She runs a brush through her wet red curls, trying to get ready quickly.   
It's not that she's in a hurry to get to work, she still has plenty of time, she's trying not to run into Allie again.

She digs a hand into her makeup bag and pulls out her mascara, deciding to paint her lashes quickly before getting dressed.   
She can do the rest of her makeup at the salon.

Bea can hear someone approaching as she's folded at the waist towards the mirror, finishing her second eye.   
The door to the shower room opens and Bea watches Allie enter through the mirror in front of her.   
At some point, Allie has discarded the loose fitting singlet she had been wearing and is now down to a pair of black exercise tights and a sports bra.   
Bea can't seem to look away, her eyes tracing over Allie's toned stomach and almost bare chest.   
She feels her mouth gaping as Allie finally sees her there, stopping her in her tracks and painting her lips with a wide smile.  
  
"Well hi," she exclaims almost excitedly.

"Hi," Bea manages after a moment.   
  
She moves to collect her things, embarrassment abundant in her expression and she eyes the door past Allie.

"Off to work now I guess," she utters, eyes firmly fixed on the floor.

She thinks she's made it out when Allie's voice stops her just shy of the door.

"Bea, wait."

Bea's heart tries to leap into her mouth.   
She knows her chest is heaving with her heavy heartbeat but she's powerless to do anything about it.   
She feels frozen to the floor, one hand wrapped around the door handle.

Allie approaches her slowly, stopping way too close to Bea for her comfort.  
Her eyes want to fall to Allie's body again but she holds them firmly up.

Allie brings her index finger up and brushes Bea's cheek lightly.   
Bea's breath catches in her throat. She feels light-headed.   
Allie's touch is light, as if it's ghosting over her skin.   
As she pulls her finger away she shows Bea the pad of her fingertip, her face softened in appreciation of the contact and of Bea's soft skin.

"You had a stray eyelash."

Allie smiles coyly, clearly revelling in Bea's inability to do anything except try to tame her wildly beating heart.

"Oh... thank you," She rasps, swallowing her lingering apprehension. "Bye."

She doesn't give Allie time to respond before she rushes out the door, trying to calm the flush on her cheeks and the flame in her stomach.  
  
  
-  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxine helps Bea reach a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday guys!  
> Thanks again to everyone who has been following this.  
> Please enjoy this longer chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it :)

-  
  
"Lunch time, ladies," Maxine's gentle voice sounds throughout the salon.

The last customer for the morning had just left and Bea had been silently dreading break time since she walked in this morning.  
She had felt Franky's eyes on her most of the morning, seemingly questioning her quietly.  
Bea knew exactly what Franky wanted to know.  
And she still wasn't ready for whatever reaction she would earn from the brunette once she told her she hadn't made a decision about Allie yet.

Franky had been trying to get her attention all morning, trying persistently to catch her eye, but Bea was having no part of it.

She quickly ducks into the back room and collects her phone and wallet and tries to escape before she's inevitably cornered.  
She curses under her breath as she hears the movement of somebody close behind her and she thinks for a moment that she's about to be interrogated by Franky.  
  
"Bea, are you alright?" Maxine asks softly.  
  
"You've been quiet all morning and avoiding Franky like she has the plague. Did something happen between you two?"

Bea lets go of the breath she was holding inside her, relief washing over her like a cool wave.  
She'll feel better equiped to deal with a Franky Doyle onslaught after a chat with Maxine.  
  
"I'm alright, thanks Max. Nothing happened with Franky, she's just... she wants me to do something and I haven't decided whether I want to or not."

Maxine frowns. "That doesn't sound good Bea. What does she want you to do?"

Bea stutters over a response, realising she's only adding to Maxine's level of concern with her half-assed explanation.  
When the words fail her, she sucks in a breath to compose herself.

"It's a bit much to explain," she utters, hanging her head.

"Well how about you and I pop out for lunch, get some fresh air and you can explain it to me from the beginning?" She offers kindly.

Bea nods, a relieved smile breaking out across her face.

  
.....

  
They're sat on a bench not too far from the salon. The midday sun is warm and Bea can feel her black clothing slowly heating up against her skin.  
She scoops up the last remnants of her salad from the corner of the takeaway container as Maxine sighs, having been filled in on Bea's situation.

"Well I can understand why you've been so quiet now, love. That's not exactly a small decision to make, is it?"

Bea exhales deeply. "No, it's not. My head's been a mess since last night. I felt better after I spoke to Deb but after seeing her again this morning I'm all in a fluster again.  
I don't know what to do, Maxine, I really don't."  
  
Her voice sounds almost pleading, as if she's begging Maxine to make the choice for her.

Maxine takes Bea's hand between her own and gives her a look filled with so much gentility that Bea feels instantly relieved by it.

"You're fine, Bea. This isn't a bad thing honey. So some young, gorgeous girl has a thing for you, is that really so bad?"

Bea doesn't answer, just takes a series of deep breaths in order to calm her panicked pulse rate.

"Can I tell you what I think? It sounds to me like you're trying to solve this with your head, when your heart should be taking point on this one.  
Forget what Franky wants you to do, or what Debbie's told you, forget everybody else for a minute. How do _you_ feel about this girl... Allie, is it?"

Bea nods. "Well I feel kinda....weird... when she looks at me. And she looks at me a _lot_."  
  
Maxine smiles warmly, her eyes softening. "Also not a bad thing, love. You're something to behold, you realise?"

Bea just smiles at the compliment as Maxine continues.  
  
"What do you mean by weird?"

"Well, warm... like my skin feels like its getting hotter. And I get this weird kind of tickly, hot feeling in my stomach."  
  
Bea watches Maxine's smile grow bigger as she speaks.

"Honey, you realise what that feeling is, don't you?"

Yes. She does. _Finally_.  
  
Maxine doesn't even need to say the words aloud, Bea already knows what it is.  
She just doesn't believe it took a proverbial outpouring of her heart to get to this point of knowing.

Bea hides her reddening face behind her hands as she laughs.

"Fuck," she sighs, clasping her hands together and holding them tightly to her chest, pressing her knuckles to her chin.  
  
"What do I do now?"

"Hmm... how about you take an extra ten minutes to send a little text message?"  
  
.....

  
Bea stares down at her phone in her palm.  
She's typed and deleted a bunch of messages, but she thinks she's finally decided on one that's suitable.  
She decides to press send before she has a chance to change her mind again and heads back towards the direction of the salon.

**I hope my so-called friend didn't bully you into giving out your number to a total stranger last night. If so, I'm sorry.**  
**Bea.**

She's about to push the salon door open as she feels a vibrating coming from her pocket.  
With her heart racing - a reaction that takes her totally by surprise - she decides to read the message from the safety of the back room.  
She apologises to her client, saying she won't be a second as she breezes past and gently closes the door to the room behind her, clumsy fingers fumbling with her phone.

**Bea! I was starting 2 worry that I'd frightened u away with my forwardness.**  
**No apologies necessary, ur friend seems 2 really care about u, I'm glad she approached me :)**  
**I wouldn't b sitting here smiling like an idiot right now if she hadn't ;)**

Bea can't help the smile that splits her expression as she reads then re-reads Allie's message.  
She can feel that familiar tickle in her stomach and she finds herself actually enjoyng it this time, now that she knows what it means.  
The moment is interrupted when the door flings open and Franky pokes her head around the corner.

"Oi dickhead, what are you doing in here?"

She notices Bea's expression and the phone in her hand and erases the scowl from her own expression, replacing it with a sly smile.

"You didn't, did ya?"

Bea nods proudly and turns her phone around to show Franky their exchange.  
Franky slips into the room, closing the door behind her and takes the phone from Bea's slightly shaking hand, reading it with a smirk.

"Good for you, Red, I'm proud of ya, seriously. I'll go prep your client for ya while you reply,"  
She says kindly - as kind as Franky Doyle could possibly sound - and leaves Bea alone to send off another message.

**I'm glad. I've got to get back to work now. Talk later?**

Bea wishes she could type faster as she hits send on her message and takes a second to compose herself before heading back out into the salon.  
She closes a hand around the doorknob and is just about to pull back on it when her phone buzzes again.  
She can't help but read the message straight away, the suspense of leaving her phone unchecked in her pocket for the rest of the afternoon may just be enough to distract her into a poor cut or an incorrect colour selection.

**Yes pls :) I'll be heading back 2 the gym 2nite around 6.30, will I c u there???**

Bea clasps a hand over her dumb grin.

**Maybe.**  


.....

  
Bea sits in the quiet locker room of the gym, heart pounding in her ears.  
She isn't sure if her body is trembling because the room itself is cold or because her limbs are full of nervous energy.  
  
She and Franky had met at the gym a little earlier than usual so Bea could get a quick workout done before Allie arrived, since her workout this morning was cut short by her own self-consciousness.  
  
"You need to look half decent, not covered in sweat and stinking like ass," Franky had told her.  
Bea had followed her friend's advice and taken a quick shower after her workout and changed into a clean pair of black skinny jeans and a long, loosely fitting black singlet.  
  
She checks her watch for what feels like the hundredth time.  
  
_6:28._  
  
She wipes her slick palms against her thighs and suddenly realises she's out of her depth.

_What the hell are you going to do when she gets here, Smith_ , she reprimands herself internally. _You don't even know what you want_.

Bea is wildly aware of how her body reacts when Allie is around, but she hasn't allowed herself to think anything further.  
She feels as though the past 2 days haven't been real, as though she's been watching somebody else's life on a screen before her eyes.  
  
She's 37 years old. She doesn't do crushes. Is this what this is to her? A crush?  
She's never had one before and without anything to compare it to, she feels juvenile, as if she's experiencing an adolescent thing whilst in mature skin.

And with that, she pulls on her boots, ready to flee, deciding she needs more time to organise her thoughts before she hears someone approaching.

"Bea, hey," Allie's face is alight with joy as she locks eyes with the redhead.

Bea imagines her heart trying to leap into her mouth and she feels it gape open in surprise for a moment.  
Her eyes trace up and down Allie's body, seemingly of their own accord.  
  
She's wearing a plain white business shirt, the front of which is tucked into her formal black pants and her soft blonde hair is tied back in a ponytail.  
Her duffle bag is flung over one shoulder and she's looking at Bea with a kind of warmth that makes Bea smile.

"Hi," she manages hoarsely.

"Are you on your way out?" Allie asks, looking slightly disappointed.

"Uh yeah, I'm all finished."

Bea watches Allie's eyes as they trail down her body then slowly back up again.

She takes a breath and opens her mouth to say something before she falters, clearly reconsidering what she was originally going to say.

"Do you have anywhere to be right now?"

Bea shakes her head, her body warming beneath Allie's relentless gaze.

"Do you feel like maybe grabbing a quick drink or something?"

She feels her heart jump inside her chest for the second time.

"You can say no if its too soon or you're not comfortable," Allie offers quickly, obviously reading the sudden apprehension on Bea's face.

"Don't you want to use the gym?" Bea asks with a brief flash of a frown that's quickly chased away by a smile.

"No, I really, really don't," She giggles.

Bea finds herself giggling too, whether its born of nerves or simply because the sound of Allie's gentle laughter is kind of infectious, Bea isn't sure.  
But she soon finds herself silent when she realises the weight of what Allie has just asked.

"I...I don't know, Allie,"

"Hey," she says gently, in little more than a whisper.

"I know that you're straight and I respect that. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable.  
I just thought it might be fun to get to know you a little, since we seem to keep bumping into each other this week.  
Not to mention the fact that I'm dying to hear you speak more than 5 words in a row," Allie jokes playfully.

Bea smiles widely and looks down at her feet, trying to hide her expression beneath the cloak of curls that covers her face.  
Allie clearly revels in eliciting this reaction from her, if her sweet, soft giggle is anything to go by.

"Ok," Bea breathes huskily with a firm nod.

She didn't think Allie's smile could get any bigger or seem brighter, but she was oddly happy to be proven wrong.

.....

  
Bea and Allie sit opposite each other at a small round table at a trendy juice and smoothie bar across the road from the gym.  
It's way too pretentious for Bea's liking as she watches one bulked-up gym junkie after another come and go with their kale and protein smoothies, or whatever on-trend thing that claimed to be this week's superfood.  
  
Judging by the look on Allie's face, she's about as impressed as Bea is.

"Are you sure this is OK?" She asks with concern.  
  
"We can go somewhere else if you want to, I just figured this was the closest, I didn't know it would be full of hipsters trying to make us feel bad about ourselves."

Bea can't help but laugh. She had no idea Allie had such a clever sense of humour.

"It's fine, really."

Allie nods before sucking another sip of juice up through her straw. Bea feels herself shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Allie's electric blue eyes are on her again and its making her whole body tingle.

"So, apart from the fact that I know your name is Bea and that you ride a motorbike and hang out with someone who is really into tattoos, I don't know anything about you," Allie says, rolling her cardboard cup between her hands against the tabletop.

"Will you tell me a bit about yourself?"

Bea tries to gulp down her apprehension. Her life story isn't exactly enviable.  
Hell, it's not anything close to that.  
She inhales deeply and recalls the script she had pre-written in her head, she hasn't had to use it since she formulated it several years ago so she verbalises it as best she can.

"Well there's not much to tell you, really. My surname is Smith, I'm 37, a hairdresser, I'm divorced and I have a daughter."  
  
She glances up at Allie, a flicker of apprehension igniting within her stomach.  
She hopes she's said enough not to arouse any kind of suspicion.

Allie smiles softly at her and she feels as though the flames burning through her gut extinguish somewhat.  
  
"You have a daughter? How old is she?"

"19."

Allie's eye widen. "Wow! You don't look old enough to be the parent of a fully-fledged adult," she marvels.

Bea's shoulders shake with her breathy laugh.  
  
"I had her when I was a teenager myself. She starts Uni next year. She's overseas at the moment travelling the world."  
  
"How long is she away for?"

"Four months."  
  
"Ooh Bea. That's gotta be tough for you."  
  
"It is, but in a way it's good."

Allie nods knowingly as they fall into silence.  
Bea can only assume that Allie has sensed not to ask anything more about the topic and she's grateful that the blonde doesn't persist.  
She'd hate to do something embarrassing like cry on their first... whatever the hell this is.

"So... what about you?" Bea utters finally.

"I'm pretty boring I'm afraid, Allie Novak, I'm 30, I work in a real estate office nearby, I live alone, never married, no kids, out and proud since I was a teenager."

Bea swallows a mouthful of her juice with a nod. "Good for you."  
She starts to feel warm under Allie's unrelenting crystal gaze.  
She can almost sense that Allie is holding something back, words rolling around her mouth that she refuses to let fall.  
Bea can only smile shyly, aware of the blush that's encroaching on her skin, utterly powerless to stop it.  
A sly smile pulls at the corner of Allie's mouth.

"Are you always this quiet? Or is this just for me?"

Her voice is low and her index finger is tracing the circular shape of the top of her cup and whether she means to or not, she's looking at Bea with an ounce of sensuality.  
Bea can't surpress the breathy laugh she releases out of pure discomfort and a lack of knowing what the hell else to do.

"I dunno, I guess I'm always like this. Sorry."

"Hey, no need to apologise. I was only asking because I was kinda worried that it's me making you nervous or something."

"Well yeah, there's that too," she laughs that same embarrassed breathy laugh that sounds more like a sigh than anything of actual substance.

"Really? I make you nervous? Can I ask why?" Allie looks genuinely concerned.

"Because... you kind of... _stare_ a lot"

Allie laughs, harder than Bea has heard her laugh yet and it brings a smile to Bea's lips.

"I'm sorry, I'll try and tone it down a bit. I just can't seem to help myself with you." she murmurs when her laughter finally dissolves.

Bea is aware that her chest just visibly heaved as her heart thudded hard in her chest.  
It takes her a moment longer to discover that she's actually smiling at Allie's softly spoken words.

"It's fine."

She tries to shug off the bittersweet warm feeling from her body as she notices Allie's expression change slightly.  
Her eyes are soft as she leans forward, resting her arms against the tabletop and her voice is quieter.

"Look, I get that I kind of come on a little strong, maybe a bit stronger than what you're used to. But honestly, I'm happy with whatever you want this to be."

"Even if I only want to be friends?"

Bea searches Allie's face for any trace of disappointment but finds none.

"Even if we're just friends. If that's what you want, I could be the best damn friend you'll ever have." She says with a brilliant smile.  
  
"Although, I think that mantle belongs to your girl from the bar last night."

Bea suddenly remembers what Franky had done for her the previous night.

"That reminds me, what did Franky say to you?"

"Is that her name? Franky? She didn't actually tell me her name, she kind of pounced on me when I came out of the bathroom.  
She just said that you're shy and that I shouldn't give up on you. She also kind of gave me your number.  
But I didn't want to text you first because I wasn't sure that's what you wanted," she admits almost shyly.

"Thank you," Bea utters, fumbling with the cup between her hands.

"Besides, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me," Allie smiles cheekily.

The rest of their time together seems to pass quickly and Bea finds herself actually enjoying their... meeting? She really isn't sure what to call it.  
She relaxes more and more in Allie's company and they share small talk about their jobs, friends and hobbies with Debbie scattered in between.  
Bea quickly realises that Allie draws on the topic of her daughter whenever the conversation seems to dim, already having figured out that she's the key to getting Bea to communicate.

When the time finally comes for them to part, only because the juice bar is closing, they walk outside into the cooling twilight air, the noise of the nearby traffic providing a welcome backdrop, saving them from the silence they create themselves.  
They wander over to the gym's parking lot and Allie's car is closer than Bea's bike so they decide to say their goodbyes there.

"Thank you for grabbing a drink with me," Allie says with a smile.  
  
"I appreciate you taking a chance on me like that. It means a lot."

Bea dips her head to hide her blush, the tenderness of Allie's voice visably affecting her.

"I could say the same to you."

Allie just grins, eyes tracing up and down Bea's body and across her shy features.

"I'm more than keen to do it again, but I'll leave that up to you to decide if that's what you want."

Bea stands awkwardly in front of Allie, unsure of what to do, of what's expected in this situation.  
Allie, of course picks up on her apprehension and makes a move, as if to provide guidance.  
She closes her warm hand around Bea's upper arm and leans in to press a gentle kiss against her cheek.  
  
It's the simplest of gestures, the slightest of touches, yet Bea feels heavy beneath the weight of its meaning.  
  
Her breath catches in her throat as she feels Allie's soft lips on her cheek.  
She's so close that Bea can smell the sweet musk of her perfume on her body.  
Her stomach swirls with warmth, its intensity she hasn't experienced before.  
And before Bea knows it, Allie has pulled away and she feels her body almost mourning the loss of their contact.  
Allie simply stands still, smirking, letting her hand fall beside her as she gazes softly at Bea.

"Will you text me when you get home so I know you're safe?" She asks sweetly.

Bea is still under the influence of whatever it is that her body is subjecting her to so she can only nod in reply.

"Good night, Bea."

"Good night, Allie."  
  
Bea watches as she slinks into her car with her ever-present smile and drives off into the night, leaving Bea alone in the carpark with her pulse pounding.

 

  
-

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie get cute via text, but is it all over before it begins?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm on holidays and have some extra time for fic so I thought I'd post this one a little early.  
> Thanks to everyone who has been following this :)

Bea's home, curled up into the corner of her soft armchair in her dully lit living room.  
She hasn't stopped smiling since she left Allie.  
If she focuses really hard, she can imagine her hand on Bea's arm again and feel the warmth of the skin on skin contact.  
She'd had just enough time to send the text she promised Allie she'd send before Debbie called her.  
As the pair eventually say their goodbyes and Bea presses the end call button, she sees the reply from Allie lighting up her screen.

**I'm glad ur home safe, thanx 4 letting me kno :) I had a really nice time with u, Bea.**  
**I kno I said it b4 but I'm really grateful u came out with me 2nite (no pun intended!)**  
**If u feel like hanging out again, promise me u will let me kno?**

Bea is powerless against her spreading smile. She makes an impulsive decision and types her reply quickly before her bravado diminishes.

**Are you free on Friday night?**

As soon as she hits send and the letters disappear into the universe, she feels an overwhelming sensation.  
Its not regret, doesn't feel like impending doom- a feeling, unfortunately, she remembers too well.  
She dares herself to indulge in the idea that it's excitement.  
She hasn't felt anything like this in a long, long time so it takes her longer than it should to rationalise it all.  
When her phone buzzes on the arm of the chair beside her, she scoops it up quickly.

**Really? REALLY? Don't tease me Bea, that wld just b cruel n not at all what friends do 2 each other**

**  
I'm being serious. It's OK if you don't want to though, I'll understand.**

**  
Oh I want 2, trust me :) Would it b alright if I took u out 2 dinner?**  
**Strictly as a friend, of course ;)**

Bea's stomach flips at the words on the screen. She loses count of how many times she re-reads the message, grinning stupidly to herself.

**I'd like that**

She takes a deep, steadying breath as she types the next message.

**Although I'm still trying to decide about the friend thing**

Her heart thuds wildly as she waits for Allie's reply, which, thankfully comes through a few minutes later.

**What do u need me 2 do 2 help u? If u need time 2 decide what u want, then its all urs.**  
**I can b as patient as u need me 2 b**

Bea is floored by Allie's patience with her.  
She seems so sweet and accomodating, ready to let Bea take the lead and label this as she pleases, regardless of her own feelings.  
Bea doesn't mean to get so deep and somewhat personal via text message, but the face to face alternative is just so daunting.  
Her hands tremor slightly as she types, taking a shaky breath in the hopes it will help slow her erratic pulse rate.

**I don't know, I think this is something I need to figure out myself. I've only ever been with one person and that didn't turn out well. I guess I'm just scared to get into something new.**  
**You're very nice and kind, which is why I don't want to lead you on if it turns out that this isn't something that I want.**

Tears begin to sting hotly in the corners of her eyes and she worries that she's said too much.  
When her phone buzzes again several minutes later, she's already been through a dozen different scenarios in her head, all of them involve Allie running for the hills and never turning back.

**I understand that. I guess u must hav figured out by now that I like u... like really, really like u.**  
**Which is y I'm more than happy 2 wait until u figure things out. If u want it, I'll treat u so good, like the lady u r, with the respect u deserve.**  
 **But if its too much, I'll just b grateful u ever gave me a chance.**

The tears she forced herself to surpress are falling without restraint. Allie's words have moved her to a place of resolution.  
  
Suddenly, she isn't frightened to admit to herself what she wants.  
  
She wants this. She wants Allie. She wants all of those warm, sweet feelings that Allie gifts her with.  
Fuck being shy, fuck being damaged, fuck what this looks like to the rest of the world.

**I like you too Allie. Would it be OK with you if we maybe just take things slowly and see where this goes?**

Bea feels like a tiny eternity passes while she waits for the next message when in reality its only around 90 seconds.

**Of course, beautiful :) :) :) U hav no idea how happy u hav made me Bea :)**

**  
Me too. Thank you Allie, really. I think I can sleep soundly now that's all off my chest.**

Bea shuts off the down lights and climbs the stairs up to her bedroom.  
The day has taken its toll on her and although its not quite 10pm, she's ready to collapse into bed.  
As she walks into her ensuite to prepare for bed, she feels her phone vibrate in her hand.

**Its ur fault if I dream about u & ur chest 2nite, ur the 1 who brought it up ;)**  
**Kidding! I'm a gentleman, even in my dreams :)**  
**I should b getting my beauty sleep now, there's this beautiful woman I'm seeing on Fri that I need2 look my best 4 :)**  
**Sweet dreams pretty lady xxx**

Bea chuckles to herself, her stomach a mess of tingles and warm waves.  
She's surprised at how quickly the dynamic with Allie has changed already, how much bolder the blonde has become in just a few texts, as if she's been holding back this whole time for the sake of Bea's comfort.  
She sits on the edge of her bed and types, a grin pulling at the corner of her lips.

**Wow, we make this a thing and you're already causing trouble, hey mischief?**  
**I see how it is.**

  
**Ur into it, admit it ;)**

  
Bea laughs out loud. She's enjoying this cheeky side of the younger woman that she didn't really know was there, hidden underneath all the apologies and awkward encounters of the last few days.

**Maybe. Good night Allie. Talk tomorrow?**

  
**Try n stop me :) Good night Bea xxx**  
  
Bea settles her phone down on her beside table and quickly changes into her pyjamas, brushes her teeth and ties her hair back into a low ponytail.  
She slides beneath her soft white sheets and stretches out across the queen-sized bed, all her own.  
She's filled with pride for herself. She took a chance on a beautiful, blonde stranger and it looks like its paying off.  
  
Bea rolls onto her side and shuts her bedside lamp off.  
As her room fills with darkness, her head fills with images of Allie.  
She recalls her big, full lips, her bright, ocean blue eyes, the small beauty spot above the corner of her top lip.  
She drifts off into a peaceful sleep with a smile and a mind full of the woman that's stolen her attention.  
  
  
.....  
  
  
Bea wakes before her alarm feeling light and content.  
As she stretches her body sleepily, she hears a short vibration coming from her bedside table.  
She reaches over, glancing at the time on her alarm clock, 6:50am.

**Good morning Bea :) Tried 2 b cool & wait til a decent hr 2 text u but lasted 5mins. **  
**Hope I havent woken u? Just wanted 2 let u kno that I'm thinking of u :)**  
**Hope u have a great day xxx**

She laughs into her pillow, jolted out of her bleary eyed sleepiness by the warmth of Allie's words.

**Good morning. You didn't wake me, although I wouldn't have minded if you had.**  
**Hope they're good thoughts you're thinking of me. Enjoy your day.**

Allie's reply comes through as Bea steps out of the shower and she towels herself quickly to read the text.

**Is there any other kind of thought when it comes 2 u? ;) I hope this isn't too much too soon but I kinda wish 2day was Friday :)**

By the time Bea makes it into the salon, she's helpless against her grin.  
She attempts to hide it behind her takeaway coffee cup as she walks past Franky to dump her things in the back office.  
Franky sees through her attempts, a knowing, sly smirk on her face.

"Morning Red, what's up with your face?" She asks, none too tactfully.  
"Did Blondie give ya a sneaky finger bang by the treadmills last night?"

Bea rolls her eyes, stilling in her movements at her workstation to cock her head and scowl.

"Franky," she groans in part disgust, part exasperation.

Franky raises her hands submissively, her expression painted with amusement.

"Alright, alright. You know I only do it to make ya tick. So come on, tell me, what happened when I left ya at the gym last night? Did you see Blondie?"

She flops into her chair and leans forward to tap a fingertip on Bea's chair, encouraging her to do the same. She obliges, cradling her cup between her hands.

"Yeah I did. We uh, went out for a drink."

Franky seems surprised by Bea's quietly uttered revelation, if her expression is anything to go by.

"Did she get you drunk and have her way with you?"

"No, we went to the juice bar across the road."

Franky scoffs. "Juice? Fuck Red, I should have known you'd go for the lamest option available."

"Do you want to hear this or just insult me?" Bea snaps.  
  
"Go on then," Franky encourages her.

"We hung out for a couple of hours. Then we left and she kissed me-"

Bea is cut off by an excited gasp from a wide-eyed Franky.

" _On the cheek_."

"Ok, Red, you and I seriously need to discuss your game, or lack of," she sighs, rubbing her forehead, looking drained.

"It gets better than that," she rasps, placing her cup down and tossing her phone to the brunette.  
  
She reads the texts between the pair, her guise softening into a satisfied smile.

"Well holy fuck, I didn't know you had it in ya. Welcome to the dark side," she utters smoothly, flicking Bea's phone back to her.  
  
"So you want some pointers for your big first date tomorrow night? Or are ya just gonna wing your first muff dive?"

  
Bea stills, her smile has dissolved.  
  
_Their first date_.  
  
Suddenly she's overcome with anxiety.  
She tries to chase away the thought that maybe she was feeling overly bold via text last night but now the gravity of the situation is causing her to panic.

"Hey, Red, are you alright?" Franky exclaims, slightly concerned as she places her hands on each of Bea's shoulders.

"Fuck Franky, its our first date," Bea says shakily through heavy breaths.  
  
"I haven't been on a date in 20 years. What do women do on first dates with other women? What is she gonna expect? What if-"

"Hey, hey, hey, stop panicking. You're alright," Franky quickly stands, gently pulling Bea's head against her chest, cradling her head between her hands.  
  
Bea doesn't return the embrace, her hands limp in her lap.

"I'm sorry, that was a shit joke, I shouldn't have said it." She steps back, hands still firm around Bea's skull and she angles her face up so she's looking at her.

"Nothing is going to happen unless you want it to. She said it herself, she'll happily wait until you figure it all out.  
It's just dinner, Red. It's no different to your little hangout last night, alright? The next part will be easier cuz you already know stuff about each other, she's not a stranger."

Bea nods as best she can with Franky's hands on her head.

"It might not be the best time to ask ya this," Franky falters, dropping her hands to her sides.  
"But does she know.... about everything?"

The guilt on Bea's face speaks volumes and gives Franky the answer without her having to speak it.

"I didn't want to scare her away." Bea says with an audible gulp.

"Hey, you're not going to scare her away. It's in the past, alright?"  
  
Franky's eyes are holding Bea's firmly and she manages to nod as Maxine, Liz and Boomer all arrive together.  
Bea and Franky try to appear as normal as possible, feigning smiles as the others walk past.

"We'll talk more later," Franky whispers in her ear and she gently pats Bea's shoulder and returns to tidying her station in preparation for the day ahead.

Bea sucks in a deep breath and manages to gather herself as the first client for the day enters.

  
.....

  
It's a busy day at the salon and Bea barely manages to get a lunch break.  
Before she knows it, they're all finished for the day.  
Bea offers to close the shop, letting Maxine, Liz and Boomer leave early, since she has no where to be anyway.  
After her meltdown this morning, an empty house doesn't seem like the best place for her to be, even though she feels much calmer than she did this morning.  
  
She hasn't had any time alone with her thoughts, no time to rationalise things so the anxiety is still there, but a lifetime with Harry has taught her to appear stoic and controlled in front of others. She didn't think she would have to use that particular skill again now that he's gone from her life and it disappoints her to no end.  
Bea pushes the broom around the floor as if she's on auto-pilot when the sound of Franky's voice brings her back to reality.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you'd gone."

"Gidge is picking me up, it's date night. And you and I have some unfinished business," she says commandingly, pulling out one of the chairs at the table in the corner of the salon.

"Sit."

Bea sighs but does as she's told.  
Franky pulls out the other chair and positions it backwards in front of Bea, lowering herself into a straddling position as she rests her forearms on the backrest.

"Look, I feel like shit for being the cause of your anxiety attack this morning. I didn't think and I didn't realise you were feeling so conflicted about everything.  
You seemed so excited about going out with her."

"I was... _I am_ ," she corrects herself before faltering.  
  
"I don't know Franky, I was kind of on a high when we left each other last night and I guess I was feeling braver than I really am," Bea sighs, her face the picture of confliction.

"Hey, you _are_ brave. The Bea Smith I know faced a fuck tonne of shit and walked away from it bigger and better than ever.  
You're strong, stronger than anyone I've ever met."

Franky points a finger at her with a kind of authority that Bea hasn't seen in her before.  
Her light green eyes are fixed on Bea's steadily, commanding Bea to give her all of her attention.

"It's a date, Red. Don't tell me after everything you've been through, a _date_ is the thing you're gonna let bring you down."

"But it's a date with a _woman_ Franky. I've never even thought about a woman that way before."

Franky's features soften slightly.

"So that's your hangup? You're afraid of the label?"

Bea shakes her head. "No, I don't care about that. I just... I don't know if I actually like her or if I like the attention she's giving me, you know? It might just be the idea that she has a crush on me that's making me feel this way, not any actual attraction to her."

Her admission kind of takes herself by surprise as much as it does Franky, who nods.

"Well Red, there's only one way around that."

"What?" She asks, eyebrows raised in anticipation, desperate to know.

"Go on your date, see how things go. Don't have any expectations and don't overthink shit."

Bea is silent, letting Franky's words sink in as they hear a car horn outside.

"That's Gidge, I've gotta go. You gonna be alright?"

Bea nods, forcing a tiny smile for her friend in reassurance. "Thank you."

Franky is out the door quickly, yelling something about tomorrow over her shoulder but Bea isn't paying attention.  
Her thoughts are loud and as she takes a glance over the empty salon, she realises she needs something to clear her head.  
She's tired of talking, so calling Debbie or Maxine doesn't seem ideal. She's sick of bothering everyone with her problems this week, anyway.  
She finishes tidying and flicks off the last light when she decides to head to the gym and work herself to the point of exhaustion.  
Maybe then her self-sabotaging brain will finally give her some peace.

  
.....

  
Bea steps off the treadmill, breathless and covered in sweat.  
She's never run so fast for such an extended period of time before, but it was necessary and she feels much better for it.  
She needed the loud music in her ears, the post-exercise endorphins running through her body.  
It hadn't given her clarity per se, but it had lulled her into a kind of calmness that she had so craved.  
  
As she heads through the locker room and towards the showers, gulping from her waterbottle as she goes, she passes a sign for the sauna room.  
Bea had never been in one before but remembered reading somewhere that a sauna can help reduce stress levels.  
She decides to give it a go, since her date with Allie is now a mere 24 hours away and she could use a little less stress and noise in her mind.

Bea sits alone on the hard timber bench, her towel tucked tightly around her and her legs stretched out in front of her, her hair, damp with sweat, pulled up into a high ponytail.  
Thankfully there's nobody else around and she can relax.  
It's hot, but not uncomfortably so and she revels in the feeling of the sweat her body sheds, acknowledging the deeper meaning of it all.

As she lets her eyelids flutter shut and she simply enjoys the peace, she hears the heavy door open then close again.

"Ok Bea, this stalking business has to stop."

She opens her eyes quickly, startled by the familiar voice that uttered her name.

Allie is pressed against the door, her white towel clinging to her body, a bright smile plastered across her lips.  
Her blonde hair is tied up in a messy bun and one hand is gripping her towel where it sits against her cleavage.  
Bea suddenly sits upright, the feeling of relaxation she had worked so hard to achieve all but gone, leaving panic and a pounding heart in its wake.  
Her hands immediately jump to her own cleavage, ensuring her modesty is fully intact.

Allie's smile drops and fades when she sees Bea's obvious discomfort.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

Bea swallows hard, taking in the sight of Allie standing there in the least amount of covering she has seen her in yet.  
She tries to be inconspicuous but fears her eyes have betrayed her, if the grin that slowly finds its way back to Allie's expression is anything to judge by.

"No, it's fine. I was just miles away, that's all." She manages hoarsely.

Allie glances at her for a moment, Bea squirming under her gaze.

"Is this weird for you? I can go if it is," she offers sweetly, her voice lower than before.

It _is_ weird. In the grand scheme of things, they've only actually seen each other 4 times.  
To be sitting in a sauna together and being totally naked beneath their towels is a concept that Bea's modest brain can't comprehend.  
But for the sake of politeness she's not going to admit to it.

"No, you can stay, I don't mind," Bea finally manages.

Allie grins harder at Bea's acceptance and moves to sit beside her.  
Bea's right side is pressed up against the wall and even though she has no where to go, she tries to move herself further against it.  
It's not that Allie's too close for comfort... hell, she doesn't know.  
She deduces that it must be a combination of the heat and all of Allie's bare skin close beside her that's wreaking havoc with her thought processes.

"I got my wish then, I got to see you a day early," she gushes quietly, eyes tracing all over Bea's face.

Bea smiles shyly in reply.  
She's suddenly self conscious, realising she's covered in sweat and lacking any trace of makeup.  
When she doesn't reply, clearly still incapable of formulating thoughts worthy of speech, she feels Allie's fingertips gently rest against her hand where she's tightly gripping the hem of her towel against her thigh.  
The gentle touch is enough to send a roller coaster of bittersweet heat twisting through her stomach.

"Hey, if I've been coming on too strong, just tell me to back off, OK? You won't hurt my feelings."

"No, you haven't been coming on too strong," she husks, thoroughly aware that Allie's hand is still on hers, her index finger tracing gentle lines over Bea's knuckle.

"It's just that... well, I'm not used to the attention. Especially not from..." she hesitates, dropping her gaze to some ambiguous spot towards the ground.

"A woman?" Allie offers.

Bea nods in reply, her chest heaving as she takes in a deep breath. Her towel constricts around the top of her breasts and she feels the corner of it loosen slightly in her cleavage. She makes a mental note not to take any more deep breaths.

"I'm guessing this is the first time someone has been openly interested in you since your divorce?" Allie asks gently.

"Yeah, this is all very new to me," Bea giggles.

Allie pauses, watching her as her laughter fades. "Can I ask how long you were married?"

"18 years," Bea says simply, her eyes fixed on Allie's hand over hers.

Allie's eyebrows jump in disbelief. "Wow," she says dumbly.

Bea waits for something more but when Allie sits there silently, she clears her throat in an attempt to break the silence hanging in the humid air.

"Anyway," Bea says a little louder than she intended to, shifting uncomfortably on the spot.

Allie glances up at her eyes, and Bea assumes she's trying to read her discomfort.  
Suddenly Allie's hand retreats back into her own lap.

"So is the attention something you're ok with? Or do I need to cancel our dinner reservation tomorrow night?" She says it with a smile but as Bea meets her gaze finally, she sees the flash of insecurity in the younger woman's face.

“God no,” Bea utters immediately. “I like it… it just takes some getting used to, I guess.”

Allie’s smile returns and so does the touch of her hand against Bea’s.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m a bit nervous too,” she reveals almost shyly.

Bea’s eyes widen slightly in disbelief. “You? Nervous? I didn’t think it was possible.”  
Allie giggles, the sound of which makes Bea smile.

“Well I’ll take that as a compliment. Seriously though, I know that this is all new to you and I realise that it’s probably not something you’re taking lightly.  
It means a lot to me that you’re even spending any time with me, however you want to categorise this,” she gestures into the air between them with her free hand.  
  
The heat that pools in the base of her stomach is back and Bea finds her own hand loosening from around her towel as she threads her fingers through Allie’s.  
Bea surprises herself as much as she clearly has Allie, who squeezes her hand softly.

“I just want to make sure that you’re OK with everything. And you might get sick of me asking you that or telling you constantly that you’re in the driver’s seat, but it’s only because you’re… well…” Allie falters, trying to choose her words carefully.

“You’re kind of a closed book,” she finally says with a soft chuckle.  
  
Bea chuckles too, it’s all she can manage.  
The way Allie is lightly holding her grasp, the way her icy blue eyes are tracing over every millimetre of Bea’s face before they fall to her lips and linger there, is making Bea’s head swim.  
She doesn’t know if it’s because the heat in the room is starting to become too much for her, or if it’s the heat in her body that Allie is creating.

“So you’re saying that I kind of make you nervous too?” Bea says quietly, trying to tame the smile on her lips, aware that Allie’s eyes are firmly fixed there.  
  
“Yeah you kind of do,” she muses.  
  
They fall into a comfortable silence, both peering down at their joint hands, Allie’s thumb gently brushing over Bea’s knuckles.  
Bea can feel her cheeks becoming flushed. She has to take a steadying breath and gulp down her apprehension before she speaks.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I make you nervous too so I guess we’re even.”

Bea laughs softly, “Yeah I guess so.”  
  
Allie clears her throat as she shifts slightly, gripping her towel with her free hand at her cleavage again as she does so.  
Bea can’t help but glance over and she notices that Allie’s face and body are starting to glisten with a fine sheen of sweat.  
She notices one particular drop of perspiration fall from Allie’s neck, Bea’s eyes following its path as it trails slowly down her chest and disappears into the tiny gap between her breasts.  
Allie seems to notice her stare and smiles widely in the opposite direction, obviously trying not to bring attention to the fact, for which Bea is quietly grateful.  
  
“So, I made us a reservation for tomorrow night. I hope you like Thai?”

“Sounds good.”  
  
Bea is starting to become uncomfortably hot and wipes the back of her free hand across her forehead to push away the beads of moisture.  
  
“You look like you’ve been in here long enough,” Allie utters warmly as she observes the fine sheen covering Bea’s body.  
  
“Maybe I have? I’ve never been in one of these things before so I don’t really know.”  
  
“Generally when you start getting too hot then that’s enough. I don’t want you passing out on me, I don’t think we’re at that point in our relationship where you’re ready for me to perform CPR on you,” she smiles wickedly.  
  
Bea dips her head, trying to hide her enormous smile, but failing miserably.  
Allie just laughs and squeezes her hand again before running her thumb firmly along the back of Bea’s hand.  
Her touch is so gentle it’s enough to make Bea blush harder.  
She decides she should go before she gets any more self-conscious.

“Well I guess I should go cool off then.”

Allie nods, those eyes fixing straight upon Bea’s lips again, fuelling her awkwardness all over again.

“I’m glad I bumped into you…again.”

“Me too,” Bea says in kind, genuinely.

“That’s 4 days in a row now, lucky me,” she utters as Bea swings her legs back beneath her and comes into a sitting position, both of them still holding each other’s hand.  
Bea suddenly becomes aware of just how short her towel actually is and tries to prevent her skin becoming any more flushed than it already is.  
  
“5 if you count tomorrow,” Bea replies, unable to meet Allie’s gaze.

She knows what Allie wants, even with her lack of proficiency in all matters romantic, she knows.  
The way Allie's eyes keep following the outline of Bea's lips is making it obvious she wants to kiss her.  
The mere thought of it is enough to make Bea’s heart pound violently in her chest.  
She thinks she wants to kiss Allie too, but she can’t be certain, it isn’t a feeling she’s familiar with.  
Her entire marriage to Harry was spent avidly trying to avoid physical contact of any kind and she can’t recall a time where she ever craved his touch.  
The fact she and Allie are both only wearing towels is another thing that keeps her from giving Allie what she clearly wants.

“Will you text me later?” Allie’s softly spoken request brings her out of her daze.

“Ok.” Bea finally manages to meet her eyes and she’s met with a look that makes her gasp a little.  
  
Allie looks at her with a kind of hunger evident in her expression.  
The realisation that its hunger for _her_ makes Bea excited and panicked at the same time.  
She moves to stand, panic winning over excitement, but Allie’s hand is still entwined with hers and she feels a slight tug.  
As Bea turns around to face Allie, the younger woman brings Bea’s hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles.  
Bea feels a fervent flutter in her stomach.  
Allie’s eyes are locked on hers and she releases Bea’s hand with a wink.  
She smiles in return, dumbfounded for a good few seconds before she beings to slowly walk away.

“See you tomorrow, beautiful.”  
  
Bea turns around for once last glance at Allie.

“Yeah. Good night, Allie,” she says dumbly, observing her satisfied grin before she pushes through the heavy door.  
  
She gets about 3 strides up the hallway before she realises she doesn’t know _when_ tomorrow, they hadn’t set an actual time for their date.  
  
She turns back in the direction of the sauna room again and gets to the door, both hands pressed against it in readiness to push it open as she glances up through the perspex window.  
  
She stops herself abruptly when she sees Allie untucking her towel from her chest and pushing it down to her waist, using a corner of it to wipe away the beads of moisture that have gathered along her chest and down between her breasts.  
  
Bea’s own chest heaves at the sight of Allie bare-breasted before her.  
She feels a firm thump between her legs, sending a tremor right through her core.  
She stares, slack-jawed for a moment before she quickly steps away, turning and pressing her back against the wall, unable to shake the sudden scorching feeling that takes a hold of her skin.  
  
Her breathing has accelerated and she can hear her heart beating wildly in her eardrums.  
When she finally manages to compose herself she licks her lips, dry from holding her mouth open for so long, and proceeds to the showers.  
  
Bea steps under the stream of water, colder than she usually enjoys in an effort to soothe her burning skin.  
It doesn’t help, the heat seems to be coming from inside of her and she can’t shake the image of Allie’s breasts from her mind.  
  
She finally allows herself to grin, realising the whole experience had just answered her burning question.

It's not the attention Bea likes.

_It's Allie._  
  
-  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea prepares for her date with Allie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy February guys!  
> I hope you all enjoy Chapter 6.
> 
> Thank you all SO much for all the love, you keep me motivated :) xxx

  
Bea lays in bed, flat on her back staring up at the ceiling.  
She's been here over an hour already and there's no trace of relaxation within her.  
Her brown eyes are wide open, her mind is noisy. She's fully aware of why she can't sleep.  
Her mind's eye keeps remembering Allie's naked chest and throwing it back into the muddle of random thoughts that she tries to distract herself with.

She sighs for the millionth time, glancing over at her alarm clock.  
_11:45._  
She grabs her phone, deciding to fiddle with it in the hopes that it will send her to sleep.  
Bea is surprised when she sees there's a message from Allie waiting for her.

  
**I'm reeeeally glad I got 2 c u 2nite. Thanx 4 letting me stay there with u n hold ur hand :)**  
**I kno sitting half naked in a sauna covered in sweat isn't ideal when we haven't even bn on an actual date yet but I'm grateful u went with it.**  
**Hope u managed 2 cool off xxx**

  
_Quite the opposite, actually_ , Bea thinks to herself.  
It took hours for her skin to settle to a point where she was comfortable enough to function but everytime her traitorous brain recalled those breasts, her skin was aflame all over again.  


**I'm glad we ran into each other again too. Are we still on for tomorrow? I forgot to ask you for the details.**

  
She doesn't expect a reply, given the hour so when she's re-reading Debbie's most recent email, she jumps in surprise when her phone starts vibrating in her hand.  
Except its not a text message, Allie is calling her.  
Bea stares at the screen for a few moments, a range of thoughts going through her busy mind before she finally taps the accept button.

"Allie?"

"Hey Bea. I hope it's OK that I called? I know it's late," she says quietly.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"I just thought it would be quicker than texting."

"Sure."

Bea hears a shuffling sound and guesses Allie must be laying in bed.

"Yes, we're still on for tomorrow. Can I pick you up at 7?"

Bea smiles shyly. "You want to come and pick me up?"

She can almost hear Allie's smile spreading across her lips. "Well yeah, that's kinda what happens on dates."

Bea chuckles. "Sorry, it's been a really long time since I went on one."

Allie can't help but mirror Bea's chuckle. "Well in that case I'd better make sure it's a really good one. Be prepared to be treated to some good, old-fashioned gentlemanly courting."

Bea can't contain the loud laugh that spills from her mouth and shakes her shoulders.  
  
"You don't have to do that."  
  
"No I do, because you deserve it. So no objections, alright?"

Bea's laughter settles, replaced by a warmth in her limbs. "OK, if you insist."

Allie's voice is quiet, her speech spoken slower than usual, as if she's really relaxed and on the verge of sleep.  
  
"I _do_ insist."

They're both quiet for a moment, Bea simply enjoying the softness of her own expression, marvelling at how Allie is capable of evoking all of these deliciously warm feelings with just the sound of her voice.

"Hey," Allie breathes in little more than a whisper.

"Yeah?" Bea whispers in return.

"I like you, Bea. I can't stop thinking about you."

Bea swears her heart literally skips a beat.  
Allie's words, spoken softly and honestly, ignite a fire in her body.  
They're such simple words, and so few in number, but no one has ever said them to her before and that thought alone is enough to bring her to tears.  
She doesn't cry though, she smiles hard and laughs softly, the sound of which resembles a sigh.

"I like you too Allie.... I'm... uhh, really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night."

"Me too. Do you think it would be OK if I held your hand again?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Allie pauses and Bea guesses she must be deliberating her next words.

"How would you feel if I kissed you?"

Bea swallows hard. Her whole body is scorching. She wants to kick off her quilt but feels as though she's paralysed.  
Her heart beats like a drum in her chest. She has no idea how much time passes until Allie speaks again.

"Bea?"

"Yeah... I'm here, I just... I don't know how I'd feel... If it's anything like how I feel right now then... I think I'd feel good."

"I'm not going to force anything, I would never. I hope you know that," She says tenderly.

"Yeah I know. Thank you."

Silence befalls them again for a short moment.

"It's almost tomorrow. I guess I should let you sleep. Text me your address in the morning."

"Ok. And Allie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you... for calling me."

Allie's smile is almost audible. "You're welcome. Thanks for answering. Sweet dreams Bea."

"Good night Allie."

Bea switches her screen off and lays her phone back down on her bedside table, beaming.  
She can't quite believe what just happened.   
She realises that Allie was basically giving her forewarning of what she was planning for the next night by way of asking how Bea would perceive it.  
The mere idea that Bea was a handful of hours away from a date with Allie induced heatwaves over her whole body.  
She stretches, enjoying the feeling of the warmth coursing through her limbs.  
She closes her eyes to really indulge in it when she remembers seeing Allie through the window of the sauna room.  
  
Suddenly she feels the same thump between her legs that she had felt when she was standing there, staring at Allie's bare breasts in awe of all of the new sensations she was feeling for the first time.  
Bea doesn't entirely know why, but she moves a hand down beneath the covers and brushes her fingertips against the soft cotton of her pyjamas against her stomach.  
She frowns at herself, dumbfounded at her action, her body seemingly detached from her mind and taking on an idea all of its own planning.  
She finds her fingers pushing beneath the waistband of her pyjama shorts and she cups her hand over her underwear.  
She gasps when she feels that she's wet.  
Its confronting at first, especially when she realises why she's wet. Arousal is really not something that Bea is used to.  
  
She feels a thump again and decides to chase its source but as she moves to press her fingertips beneath the waistband of her underwear, she's suddenly overcome with self-consciousness. She quickly pulls her hand away from her body and buries it in the mess of curls that fans out onto her pillow.  
Her mind struggles to grapple with the idea of what she was about to do.  
Thinking of Allie.  
It's all a bit confusing.   
She knows that the action of self-pleasure is a common one, but not to her.  
She feels a mix of shame and shock and liberation.  
Bea doesn't know how long she tries to rationalise things before her brain becomes quiet and she finally gives into sleep.

  
.....

  
Bea wakes to the sound of her alarm feeling relaxed and content.  
As the effects of her slumber slowly wear off and her mind becomes increasingly aware, she smiles when she realises that it's Friday. She gets to see Allie tonight for their first real date.  
If she hadn't just woken up, she's sure she would be full of nervous energy.  
She implusively decides to send Allie a text message.

**Good morning Allie, I hope you slept well. I also hope you have a good day. See you tonight.**

She types her address at the end, remembering Allie had asked her to send that detail through.  
It's short and to the point but it's all Bea can manage at this early hour of the day and she sends it anyway, hoping Allie will appreciate the sentiment behind it.

Allie texts her back as she's locking the front door in readiness to leave for work.

**Bea! What a nice surprise, thanku 4 making me smile 1st thing in the morning :)**  
**I'm excited 4 2night, I hope 2day goes quickly! Hav a gr8 day pretty lady, see u at 7 :) xxx**

She arrives at the salon, smiling stupidly as she pushes through the door, greeted by Maxine's cheerfully warm smile.

"Morning Bea, how are you love?"

Bea follows her usual ritual, dumping her belongings in the back office, sipping her takeaway coffee as she re-enters the room, heading to her station to begin preparing for the day ahead.

"Morning Max, where's Franky?"

"Oh she'll be in a bit later, Bridget has the morning off so I told Franky to spend a few hours with her. Poor Bridget has been working so much lately and they haven't spent much time together."

"That was nice of you," Bea says, gently rubbing Maxine's upper arm as she leans against Bea's chair.

"Plus I thought it would give you and I a chance to chat without the others around. It's the big date tonight, isn't it?"

Bea smiles instantly, dipping her head bashfully.

"Yeah."

Maxine settles into Franky's chair, gesturing for Bea to do the same.  
She obliges, quietly keen for whatever conversation is about to transpire.  
There's just something about Maxine that Bea is drawn to, the wonderful settling effect she has on her has been a source of assistance to Bea on countless occassions, particularly when things with Harry were at their worst.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Umm, good I think."  
  
Bea fills her in on how much closer she and Allie have become over the last few days, partly due to their phone contact but mostly due to the fact that Allie seems to be everywhere Bea is.  
When she recounts the events of last night, her after-hours activities excluded, Maxine raises an interested eyebrow.

"It sounds like she's absolutely smitten with you, love. I'm so happy for you."

Bea cradles her coffee cup between her hands, uttering her thanks as she takes a sip.

"So what are you wearing tonight?"

Bea frowns, realising she hasn't given that side of things any thought at all.  
She's been too busy trying to determine how she feels and thinking of how far they've come in just a few short days, that that part of things had entirely eluded her.  
The flash of panic must be evident in her expression because Maxine gently wraps her fingers around Bea's forearm.

"Don't worry, I'll help you."

"Help you what?" Franky quizzes as she enters the salon, mouth hanging open and eyebrows raised in anticipation for an answer.

"What are you doing here so early? What happened to your morning off with Bridget?" Maxine asks gently, observing Franky's odd expression.

"She got called in, one of her patients died and she had to view the body or some shit."

She opens the door to the back room wide enough so she can throw her backpack inside before she slams it shut.  
The obvious tension Franky has bought with her causes Bea and Maxine to exchange an awkward glance.

"I'm sorry love, I guess that's the price you pay when you date a doctor."

"Yeah well it fucking sucks," Franky snaps back, pulling her trolley close to her as she begins to prepare her workstation.  
Maxine quickly removes herself from Franky's chair, obviously not wanting to contribute to her already bad mood.

"So what are ya talking about? What are you helping with?"

"It's Bea and Allie's big night and our girl needs a bit of help choosing an outfit," Maxine says, smiling as she gently places her hands against Bea's shoulders from her standing position behind Bea.

"Oh yeah? I'll be in on that too, fuck knows you need all the help you can get."

Maxine shoots Franky a disapproving look and groans her name in a deterring tone.  
This seems to soften her somewhat and she sighs, outwardly trying to shake off her stress.

"Sorry Red, I'm just pissed off. I didn't mean it."

Bea nods knowingly. "It's OK. Are you alright?"

Her question earns another sigh. "Yeah I'll get over it. Enough about me, what time is lover girl picking you up? She _is_ picking you up, isn't she? Or do I need another word with her?"

"Yes, she's picking me up at 7. Oh and by the way, she told me you gave her my number that night at the bar."

Franky shrugs, commanding her gaze with a look that cries _don't fuck with me_.  
  
"Yeah? So? Look where it got ya. You're fuckin welcome."

Normally Bea would say something of equal attitude in reply, but she knows it's not the time and Franky is right, without her insistence, Bea wouldn't be in this situation.  
She smiles instead, sidestepping the brunette's snarkiness.

"Thank you Franky, I really appreciate it. I owe you big time."

Bea's soft, genuine tone softens Franky just that little bit more.

"Don't worry Red, I'm keeping score, I'll let ya know how you can make it up to me," she says with a hint of a smirk.  
  
  


It's another busy day and before Bea knows it, it's 5pm and their last client leaves.  
Bea is sat in her usual late afternoon spot at the table by the window, enjoying the shards of sunlight that stab through the blinds.  
  
It doesn't have its usual calming effect on her though.  
She's officially counting down the hours now and there's only 2 left until she's with Allie again.  
  
The salon is suddenly a hive of activity as Franky breezes towards the door and snaps the lock shut.  
Maxine emerges from the back office, grinning as she conceals something behind her back and Liz guides Bea by her hand over to Franky's station, depositing her in the chair as Bea smiles in confusion.  
Her four friends gather behind her and she watches them from the mirror before her with amusement.

"Alright ladies listen up, our girl Red has her first big, homo date tonight," Franky bellows.  
  
"She needs our help, let's get her looking hot as fuck so Blondie can't resist her.  
Liz, I want you to do her nails, Booms I want you on shampoo and scalp massage, I'm styling those unruly red locks and Maxi you're on make up," she announces, her voice authoritative.

"And I've got just what you need to calm those tummy butterflies, hon," Maxine adds as she pulls out the bottle of champagne she had been concealing.

Bea's chest swells with love. She can't believe her luck that she's found true friends who are willing to put their weekends on hold to help her.  
It's not the first time they've all shown her such unwaivering support, but today is a good day with only positive things in store for her so she refuses to waste even one thought on Harry.

Bea can't contain her smile as her eyes follow her friends going about their issued tasks, Boomer clips a smock around her neck as Maxine pushes a flute of champagne into Bea's hand.  
She meets Franky's gaze in the mirror, the tattooed brunette standing in the background with her arms folded across her chest, watching as the others busy themselves while they chatter excitedly.  
  
Bea smiles warmly at Franky, mouthing the words _thank you_.  
  
Franky returns her smile, adding a wink for good measure and mouths _you're good, Red_.  
  
  
-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry to stop the chapter there, I swear I'm not an evil bitch in real life, it's just that the next part is really long and I had to cut it somewhere.  
> I promise I won't keep you waiting too long for the date chapter xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie go on their first official date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> I couldn't wait any longer, I hope you all enjoy reading the date chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

  
Bea stands before the full-length mirror in her bedroom, taking one last, lingering look at herself.   
She exhales deeply as she takes in her form, appreciating the wonderful job her friends have done with her.   
Her hair is down and Franky had run a toner through it so her roots are a beautiful brown that blends seemlessly into red, a slightly darker shade than her usual.   
Franky had also straightened her hair for her and Bea silently appreciates how marvellous it is to have a friend who is so gifted at her work.   
Maxine had applied a shimmery primer beneath her makeup so her complexion is glowing.   
  
They had all decided on Bea's outfit, all in agreeance that she should wear a pair of blue denim skinny jeans, a white, button-up shirt that she's paired with a simple black blazer and a pair of black boots.

She allows herself to think that yes, she looks good. Better than good.  
Bea glances over at her alarm clock and feels her stomach somersault. 6:58.

Her glass of champagne had helped calm her nerves somewhat but had more than worn off at this point.   
She tries to slow her rapidly beating heart with deep breath after deep breath and just as she feels like its starting to work, she hears 4 sharp knocks on her front door.   
  
Fuck.   
  
Her anxiety peaks as she decends the stairs and takes one more deep breath to try steady herself before she opens the door with a forced smile.

"Hey," Allie breathes with a brilliant smile as her eyes trace up and down Bea's body.   
  
Her face suddenly changes into something that Bea can only describe as lustful.   
Bea's heart thumps hard against her chest as she drinks in the sight of Allie standing on her front porch.   
She's wearing a perfectly fitted black dress with a cropped black blazer similar to Bea's. Her shoulder-length blonde hair is down and she's wearing a pair of black ankle boots.   
Bea swallows hard. She looks _so beautiful_ in the fading daylight.  
Allie's words, uttered softly bring her out of her distraction.

"Wow Bea, you look amazing.... these are for you."   
  
Allie hands her a bouquet of red roses and Bea laughs to herself when she realises she had been so distracted with Allie's appearance, she didn't even notice that she was holding the flowers.

"Allie, you shouldn't have," she gushes quietly.

"Nonsense, I'm courting you remember?"

Bea giggles as she gestures for Allie to come inside. "They're beautiful, thank you. Let me find a vase to put these in."

Allie follows her inside, stealing a sneaky glance at Bea's backside whilst her back is turned before she turns her glance to the home she'd just been invited into, entirely Bea's and nobody else's.

"You have a beautiful place Bea," she marvels as she takes in the modern features of the ample open-plan living room and kitchen.

"Thanks," she says shyly from the kitchen's island bench as she drops the roses into a water-filled vase.   
She moves slowly over to where Allie stands, one hand clasping the other nervously.   
  
"Proudly brought to you by my divorce settlement," she jokes.

Allie laughs in reply, probably taken back by the sense of humour that Bea has kept to herself thus far.   
As they grow quiet, Allie's eyes tracing over Bea's face like they have every other night of the week when they've been together.

"Shall we go?"

Bea nods and collects her bag as they make their way out to Allie's car, a small red hatchback.   
Allie opens Bea's door for her, grinning smugly as Bea slides into the seat with a smile.   
She hadn't been exaggerating when she said she intended to treat Bea like a lady tonight.

"Nice wheels," Bea remarks as Allie sits beside her, clipping herself in before she sets off.

"Thanks. I like it, although there's not much of a back seat," she says with a cheeky grin.   
  
Bea just shakes her head in reply, trying to contain her smile but failing.

The car ride to the restaurant lasts around 15 minutes and their conversation is fairly light, they swap pleasantries and talk about their respective days and Bea can't help the sideways glances she tries to steal while Allie's concentrating on the road.   
When they pull up in the parking lot beside the restaurant, Allie unclips her belt and turns to Bea with a smirk, gently resting her hand against Bea's knee.

"Stay there a sec," she says softly and Bea watches with a stomach full of butterflies as Allie darts around to the passenger side and opens her door for her.   
She laughs nervously as she climbs out of the car, it's all she can manage as she feels Allie's hand, soft against her lower back, guiding her inside the restaurant.

Once inside, Allie gives her name to the waiter and he leads them through the busy restaurant to a much quieter outdoor courtyard.   
There are only a handful of tables in this section, each only seating two people and so far, they're the only ones.   
It's dully lit, except for the tealight candle on each table and a long string of industrial looking light bulbs that hang from the ceiling.   
Bea can't help but think that this is all a result of some careful pre-planning on Allie's part.

After a little deliberation, they agree on a bottle of red wine and a plate of mixed appetisers.   
They fall into silence as they wait for their food to arrive and Bea can feel Allie's eyes upon her.   
She meets her gaze to see the blonde smiling softly at her from the opposite side of the table.   
Bea returns her smile but the intensity of Allie's glance becomes a bit too much for her and she has to look away when she feels her skin beginning to blush.

"So, how does it feel to be in the same place at the same time and its not a coincidence for once?"

Bea laughs lightly. "It feels good."   
She takes a deep breath in the hopes that it will give her the courage she needs.   
"All of it has been good."

She wishes she could say more, that she knew how to communicate like a goddamn adult but as Allie smiles she realises she must have got her point across.

"Really? _All_ of it? You didn't seem too pleased with me on Monday night," she says with a chuckle as the waiter brings their wine to the table and proceeds to fill their glasses for them.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that first night. I was pissed off with Franky for ditching me. Plus I'm not really great with new people or making conversation."

Her eyes fall to the wine glass in her hands and she takes a long sip, trying to shake off her self-consciousness.  
Allie nods, her voice soft.

"It's fine, honestly. You're a better conversationalist than you think you are."

Bea scoffs, about to protest when Allie reaches her hand across the tabletop and it comes to rest over the top of Bea's.

"Hey, we're sitting here on a date together, aren't we?"

Allie's face has softened, her smile slightly faded as she circles her thumb against the back of Bea's hand.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she murmurs.

Bea doesn't react for a moment, trying to hide that she's been affected by those words, spoken so simply yet without any real knowledge of her past and her struggles.   
She nods after a beat, feigning a smile.

"Sorry, force of habit."

She takes her glass into her free hand and takes another sip.  
Allie seems to be trying to read her expression, her light eyes darting between Bea's dark ones.   
  
_None of that tonight_ , Bea reprimands herself internally for instinctively wanting to go to that dark, self-loathing place that Harry had forced her to find false solace in.   
She decides to move the conversation along as the waiter returns with their entree.

"So tell me more about you, I still feel like there's a lot to learn," Bea says eagerly, still enjoying the feeling of Allie's hand on top of hers.

"Well, I'm not terribly interesting so I apologise in advance for that," Allie replies lightly, her grin returning.

"I think you are," Bea says instantly, her voice low and full of her usual rasp.   
  
Allie seemingly responds to it, if the flicker of desire in her eyes is anything to judge.   
She squeezes Bea's hand gently, a warm smile lighting up her beautiful complexion.   
  
"I grew up here in Melbourne but I moved away to Sydney when I was in my late teens.  
I did the stupid, love-sick teenager thing and moved there to be with my first girlfriend. It didn't last long, as these things never do, but I dug the vibe there so I got a little place of my own and stayed for a few years."

Bea nods, listening intently as she bites into one of the appetisers.

"So what brought you back to Melbourne?" She asks after she swallows her food and chases it with a mouthful of wine.   
  
She notices the instant change in Allie's expression, a pain in her eyes that she clearly tries to downplay.

"My Mum. She got really sick about two years ago and I moved back to be closer to her. Unfortunately she passed away about a year ago now,"

Bea gasps quietly and reaches across the table with her free hand, joining it with Allie's free hand.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Allie."

"Thanks Bea."

Silence hangs over them for what feels like too long, Bea unsure of how to move the conversation along.   
Its up to Allie in the end, Bea's conversational skills obviously as inadequate as she had suspected they were.

"I decided to stick around to be close to Mum's sister, my Aunty Kaz. She's the only family I have left now."

"No brothers or sisters?"

"Nah. Well not that I know of anyway. I never knew my Dad, he pissed off when I was a toddler. Not that I cared anyway, who needs men?" She says cheekily, winking at Bea, who simply smiles in reply.   
Allie releases one of Bea's hands to grab another appetiser.

"So, now I want to hear more about you."

Shit.   
  
This kind of thing always makes Bea nervous.   
She takes a deep, soothing breath to help compose herself.

"I'm not great at talking about myself but I'll give it a go. Umm, well I was born in New Zealand and moved here when I was 5. My parents divorced when I was a kid and I stayed with Dad. Mum moved back to New Zealand and remarried and I lost Dad to Alzheimer's a few years back.... And I, uh, I met my ex-husband when I was 16 and I was married and a mother by the time I was 18."

Allie doesn't take her eyes off Bea as she speaks, ocassionally dragging her fingertips across the back of Bea's hand.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have to answer it if it's too difficult. What happened with you and your husband?"

Bea's stomach somersaults beneath her skin. She isn't used to this question.   
The only people who know the truth about her marriage to Harry are her daughter and her colleagues. She's never had to explain it before.  
Her divorce may have settled a little over a year ago now, but the wounds he had inflicted feel much fresher.   
She could lie or tell Allie to drop the subject, but she decides not to.

"It didn't work. He was an alcoholic and towards the end he was a drug addict too."  
  
Bea glances down at the tabletop, their joined hands, her fingertips against her wine glass, everywhere except Allie's blue eyes.   
She shifts uncomfortably on her chair as she clears her throat and she feels Allie's hand tighten around hers.

"Hey, I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about that."

There's more to her story, but she refuses to tell it just yet.   
Bea loves the way Allie's eyes seem to appreciate every square millimetre of her body, and she's not ready to do anything that will see that cease.   
  
"Thanks," she utters as the waiter returns, breaking the heaviness of the moment.

They order their main meals and Allie steers the conversation into happier territory.

"So how's Debbie?"

Bea smiles instantly and it brings a smile to Allie's lips.   
"She's good, her and her friends are still in Scotland, they leave for Ireland in a couple of days. She's having a great time."

"I think I saw a picture of her hanging on your wall. She looks just like you, she's beautiful."

Bea blushes at Allie's compliment, the blonde obviously enjoying the feeling she had evoked in Bea.

  
The rest of their dinner date goes smoothly, the food is amazing and the conversation flows easily.   
Bea feels herself relax more and more as the night progresses, especially after her second glass of wine.

"Ugh, that was so much food," Allie sighs heavily. "I'm going to have to hit the gym hard on Monday."

Bea laughs softly. "Please, I don't even know why you go at all, you don't need to," she says in appreciation of Allie's slender form.   
  
Allie grins, playfulness apparent in her expression.

"I only go so I can pick up hot chicks."

Bea laughs again, louder this time. She's feeling playful herself after all that wine.

"Is that so? And how's that working out for you?"

Allie's expression softens and she brings her hand up to the tabletop to grasp at Bea's once again.

"I think it's worked out pretty well, don't you?"

Her voice is lower and Bea can't help but stare at her. She looks _so_ beautiful beneath the low light of the hanging bulbs above them.   
Her beautifully soft face seems radiant, bathed in the warm orange glow of the candle between them.   
Bea finds her eyes on Allie's full lips, her skin suddenly warm with what she presumes is desire.   
Allie drags her soft fingertips across Bea's hand and she finds herself gently nipping at her bottom lip to stifle the soft sigh her body seemingly wants to make.

"I'm just going to pop to the bathroom then how about we go?  
There's this really great dessert bar about ten minutes away."

Bea nods, smiling shyly. "Sounds good."

Allie lightly runs her index finger up Bea's arm as she passes.   
Bea settles back into her chair, left to calm her increasing nerves.   
The way Allie had glanced at her, the way she _always_ glances at her is making her feel differently tonight.   
Maybe its the wine or the way Allie looks, partially bathed in the shadows of the nighttime sky, or simply the fact that they're on a date together and it's going _so_ well.   
Bea doesn't know, she doesn't care to know, all she knows is that she wants to kiss Allie tonight.   
It's been on her mind since last night, when simply the thought of that level of intimacy with Allie had been enough to send her body into a frenzy and caused her to crave release beneath her own touch.

As Bea takes another sip of wine, she looks around at the restaurant's courtyard.   
She'd been too wrapped up in Allie to notice the other tables are full now and its much darker than when they had first arrived at dusk.   
She's pulled from her thoughts by Allie's gentle voice calling her name, revealing that she'd paid the bill as they leave the restaurant and make their way to Allie's car, where she opens Bea's door for her again.

Bea can't tame her eyes as they rake over Allie's figure in the darkness of the car.   
She's sure Allie notices because of the smile that she tries to surpress but Bea couldn't care less about being caught.   
If she was feeling any trace of bravery she thinks she would reach her hand across and rest it upon Allie's thigh.

They pull up at the kerb in front of the dessert bar where Allie opens Bea's car door for her again and then opens the shop door for her as well, earning a smile from Bea.   
All of the desserts look amazing and Allie ponders ordering one of everything on the menu, much to Bea's amusement, but they each decide on a simple ice cream cone.  
The shop is so busy and jam packed with customers so Allie suggests they eat their ice cream while walking along the waterfront across the street.

The night air is cool against Bea's skin and the sound of the water lapping against the boardwalk beneath them soothes her nerves.   
Allie is walking closely beside her, so close that Bea can feel the heat radiating from her slender body and its so distracting that Bea barely hears whatever funny story Allie is telling between mouthfuls of her dessert.   
She spots a bench beneath the dull light of a lamp post not far ahead and suggests they sit down, Bea agreeing as she pops the last piece of her cone into her mouth.

"You're not too cold are you?" Allie asks thoughtfully as they ease down onto the bench.

"No I'm ok. What about you?"

Allie makes a show of deliberating her response, making Bea laugh that same breathy chuckle that she can't stop herself from doing when Allie is around.

"If I say my hand is cold will you hold it?" She replies playfully.

Bea just chuckles and threads her fingers through Allie's as the blonde slides a little closer.   
Bea suddenly feels her body grow warmer and a gentle blush creeps its way across her cheeks.   
They sit there in silence for a moment, enjoying the sound of the water around them and the feel of each other's soft touch.

"Thank you for letting me take you out tonight," Allie utters, circling her thumb against Bea's hand, intertwined with hers.   
Her voice is soft and its doing things to Bea, things she didn't know could be done merely with an utterance of a few simple words.

"Thank _you_ for tonight," she rasps. "No one has ever treated me as wonderfully as you have."

Bea dips her head shyly. It's not an exaggeration and the raw emotion behind her admission makes her slightly embarrassed.   
Allie brings her other hand up and tucks a section of Bea's soft hair behind her ear.

"You deserve it, Bea. I think you're amazing."

Bea can't help but swallow hard. Her skin is warm and getting warmer as Allie's fingertips gently brush her jaw and she runs her thumb against Bea's cheek.   
Her touch is so light its barely there.  
Bea takes a deep, grounding breath as she lifts her eyes to Allie's, met with a look so warm and sincere, her heart begins to race.

"Can I kiss you?"

Bea knew it was coming, she had felt the promise of it like the inevitable roll of thunder after a flash of lightning.  
She nods as she parts her lips slightly, pulse thumping hard, chest visibly heaving.

Allie moves in slowly, savouring every moment. Her light eyes search Bea's one last time, finding no resistance.  
Bea's eyelids fall shut as Allie presses her lips lightly against Bea's.   
Her gentle lips, warm and _so_ soft, caress Bea's with such gentility that it confounds her for a moment.   
Bea is bought back to her senses when she feels Allie start to pull away.   
She doesn't want it to end yet. Bea brings her lightly shaking hand up to Allie's face, gently pressing her fingertips to Allie's jaw, capturing her soft earlobe between her index and middle fingers. She presses herself into Allie's waiting mouth, the blonde releasing a helpless sigh of pleasure as she angles her face into the perfect position and parts Bea's lips with a tender touch of her warm tongue.  
The way Allie's tongue gently caresses Bea's is wonderful.   
She drinks it all in, the feeling of Allie's soft, hot mouth against hers, the light musk of her perfume on her skin, the heat from Allie's fingertips on Bea's face.   
Bea can feel the pure emotion in Allie's touch and it forces her to ask herself how she has gone her whole life without this kind of simple human connection.  
As they finally part, Allie pressing one more brief kiss to Bea's lips, she smiles, so genuinely and warmly that Bea can't help but do the same.

"Wow," Allie whispers dumbly as she rests her forehead against Bea's, cradling her face in both hands.   
Bea presses her lips together, savouring the taste and sensation of Allie's mouth that still feels as though its ghosting over hers.   
Her skin is aflame and she glances at Allie's lips, eager to feel them again.

"I've been wanting to do that since I first saw you."

Bea smiles bashfully, enjoying the feeling of Allie's gentle hands against her face.

"Really?"

"Really. You're beautiful Bea."

Feeling brave, Bea surges forward and kisses Allie softly, earning another sigh from the blonde.   
Her stomach is a mess of heat and sweetness and her whole body is hot and tingling.  
Allie's breath is hot against her lips, her insistent mouth parting Bea's, deepening the kiss as her tongue moves easily against Bea's.  
When they finally part Allie releases a quiet moan, resting her forehead against Bea's again.

" _You're_ beautiful, Allie. I really like you."

Her bravery takes them both by surprise. Allie smiles shyly, running her slender fingers through Bea's smooth hair.

"I really like you too."

Its Bea's turn to smile bashfully as she rubs her thumb against Allie's cheek before dropping her hand into her lap, bravery subsiding.   
The blonde threads her fingers through both of Bea's hands, obviously not ready for the loss of contact.

"As much as I want to stay here all night just kissing you, it's getting late. I should take you home."

Bea feels a flash of disappointment, not wanting their night to end just yet.   
She nods anyway as Allie pulls her to her feet.   
They walk slowly back to the car, hand in hand and Bea can't help but enjoy their new level of closeness.

She finds the bravery that she had craved earlier and rests her hand on Allie's thigh on the drive home, Allie giggling as she covers Bea's hand with her own.

When they finally pull into Bea's driveway, Allie opens her car door for the last time and Bea presses a brief but gentle kiss to her cheek as she passes.

They walk slowly up to the front door, fingers interlaced with one another's.   
Bea suddenly grows shy again and as she turns to Allie, she sees the obvious desire in her expression, intensifying the nerves pooling in her stomach.

"I had a really great time tonight. Thank you," Bea murmurs sincerely.

Allie smiles warmly, her light eyes drinking in every tiny details of Bea's face.

"Me too. I would love to do it again soon if you're up for it."

Bea nods emphatically. "Please."

They're silent for a moment, eyes locked on each other's before Allie brings her hand up to grip gently at the back of Bea's neck.   
She pulls the red head in, closing the small distance between their warm bodies, placing another soft, gentle kiss against Bea's ready mouth.   
It's heavier this time, less reserved and no where near as shy.   
Allie groans as Bea's tongue pushes past her lips and glides against Allie's.   
She buries her fingers in Allie's hair, deepening their kiss as Allie winds her long arms around Bea's waist.   
They kiss like that for a long time and when Bea has to stop to draw in a breath, Allie presses a gentle kiss to her cheek and holds her close in a wonderfully warm hug.

"Do you want to come in?" Bea asks, suddenly courageous.   
She doesn't entirely know why she asks, she knows what the implication of a question like this usually means, and although she's not ready for _that_ , all she knows is that she isn't ready for this to stop.

Allie gasps. "God yes, I'd love to come inside with you," she breathes heavily, pulling back and allowing Bea to see the obvious hunger in her expression.

"But I'm trying so hard to be a gentleman tonight and I can't guarantee that I won't keep my hands off you if we go inside."

Bea's heart skips a beat at the sentiment behind her words.   
The idea that she's making Allie crave her in such a way is both liberating and slightly terrifying all at once.

She nods, slightly disappointed as she tucks a section of Allie's blonde hair behind her ear.

"Text me when you get home?"

"Of course," Allie smiles, softly kissing Bea's swollen lips one last time before she pulls herself away, gently sliding her hands across Bea's hips before she steps back.

"Good night beautiful."

"Good night Allie."

And before Bea knows it, she's watching Allie drive away.  
She pushes her door open and leans her back into it as it closes, realising she misses Allie already.   
She's already craving her lips again, wanting more of her soft hands on her body.  
  
Bea stands there, leant against the door for god knows how long, processing and enjoying the new feelings of desire she has for Allie.  
  
-  
  


 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Franky and Debbie help Bea process all of her new feelings and our favourite girls organise their second date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday guys!  
> It's currently 40 degrees at my place so forgive me if there are any typos, I'm a little delirious!  
> Hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Bea lays on the sofa, too wired to go to bed yet.  
She had changed into her pyjamas shortly after Allie had left and had even attempted to lay down for a while, but she quickly found out that her mind was far too busy to sleep.  
She can't get Allie out of her head.  
Her icy blue eyes, her gentle fingers, her wonderfully warm, soft lips.  
Bea smiles widely as she re-reads the message Allie had sent her not too long ago.  


**Hi beautiful :) I'm home safely... altho I wish I was still there with u.**  
**I can't thank u enough 4 2nite, I feel so lucky that I got 2 spend an evening with u.**  
**Ur incredible Bea & kissing u is incredible.  
Hope u hav sweet dreams pretty lady, I kno I will ;) xxx**

  
Bea takes her time replying, typing, deleting then re-typing until she's content with a text suitable enough to send.

**Thank you for tonight, you were a perfect gentleman and I don't think I'll ever forget it.**  
**I wish you were still here too. I can't stop thinking about the way you kissed me.**  
**Good night Allie, sweet dreams.**  
  
Bea places her phone down on the coffee table in front of her, smiling to herself, trying to calm the excited energy buzzing around her body.  
The television is playing softly in front of her but she isn't really watching, in fact she has no clue what she's even looking at, it's like her brain has packed up and gone to a place where all things Allie reside.  
  
Bea can't quite believe the lengths she's come in just a few days.  
She had started her week like every other, with a busy day at work then a trip to the gym that she had almost avoided.  
She's so grateful she went, despite her own internal protests at the time.  
Now a mere 4 days later and she's experiencing the euphoric high of being the object of Allie Novak's attention.  
  
What a treat, to have someone so physically flawless, kind-hearted and humourous paying her so much attention.  
She still doesn't quite know what Allie sees in her, but right now she doesn't care.  
She has plenty of time to ponder it later, right now all she wants to do is imagine those perfect lips caressing hers over and over again.  
  
Bea is so distracted by her own thoughts that she barely hears her phone vibrating across the tabletop.  
She surges forward to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Mum! You're awake!" Debbie squeals excitedly down the line.  
  
Her voice is so shrill and loud that Bea has to pull the phone away from her ear.

"Debbie! How are you baby? Are you OK?"  


"I'm great, don't worry, everything is great, I just missed your voice. It's very late there isn't it? What are you still doing awake?"

  
"I couldn't sleep."

  
Bea hasn't spoken to Debbie over the phone like this for a few days, having not filled the younger Smith in on her current feelings for Allie.

"Why not? Is everything OK?" Debbie's concerned voice brings her attention back and she chuckles lightly.

" _Yes_ , worry wart, everything is fine. I'm just wired, that's all. Now enough about me, tell me all about you and what you've been up to."

  
Debbie excitedly recounts the events of the past few days, naming this landmark and that tourist attraction and Bea revels in all of it, sharing in her daughter's obvious elation.

"Oh and Mum I tried haggis, it was literally the worst thing I've ever eaten. I gagged after just one mouthful. It wasn't even because of the taste though, it has kind of a nice flavour, it's just the thought that it's full of random animal parts and wrapped up in the lining of a sheep's tummy."

  
"Gross Deb," Bea laughs hard and Debbie can't help but do the same.

  
"Sorry Mum. Now it's your turn, tell me everything that's been happening with you."

Bea hasn't quite decided whether or not to tell her daughter about Allie yet.  
Frankly, she still isn't quite sure _how_ to explain it. She knows she likes Allie, she _definitely_ knows that Allie likes her but she doesn't know how to label it, where it's all headed or how her daughter will react to these new developments in her life.  
She inhales deeply before she speaks.

"Well I've been pretty occupied, work has been busy, I've been to the gym a few times and I went out a couple of times during the week."

"You went out? Like, with people?" Debbie asks sarcastically, earning a laugh from Bea.

"Yes cheeky."  


"Is Franky still looking after you? Like she promised me she would?"

  
"Yes sweetie, she's been wonderful. All the girls have."

  
"Good, I'm glad. Oh, I nearly forgot, how did things go with that woman who hit on you earlier in the week?"

Bea can't lie to Debbie. Not only for her own moral reasons, but it had been a stipulation when they stood in the airport almost a month ago, crying their goodbyes into each other's necks.  
They had both agreed not to keep secrets and Bea's hands begin to grow clammy with nerves as she ponders the right way to tell Debbie.

"Umm... well actually, pretty good. I just umm... She and I went out to dinner earlier tonight."

There's a pause on the line, a deafening silence and Bea is about to utter her name to make sure she's still there.

"Seriously?"

Bea can't read her tone and that alone is enough to make her apprehensive.

"Umm... yes? Does that bother you? That I went out on a date with a woman?"

There's another brief pause and Bea feels herself swallow hard.

"No, God no, I'm just surprised. It's kind of a bit to process. I had no idea that you're... well, that you like.... _holy shit_."

  
"Hey, language Missy," Bea says warningly.  
Her daughter may be thousands of kilometres away but apparently it doesn't stop Bea from acting like a parent.

  
"I'm sorry Mum, I'm just in shock to be honest. Not in a bad way, I just.... I don't know, it's a shock."

  
Bea automatically nods even though she knows that Debbie can't see her from the other side of the world.

  
"I know, baby. It's all a bit of a shock to me too," she says quietly.

  
"So what's she like? I think it might help if you tell me a bit about her."

  
"Well her name's Allie, she's 30, she works in real estate, she's kind and funny and she seems really genuine."

  
Bea can't help but smile as she talks about Allie.  
If she wasn't so apprehensive about Debbie's response, she's sure her body would be tingling again.  
Instead, her stomach is a tangled mess of nerves.

Debbie is quiet for a moment, reflecting on the new information.

"And she's good to you?"

  
"Yeah, she's been lovely so far. Very patient and nice."

Bea can almost hear her daughter's smirk through the line.

"Well it _sounds_ like you like her."

She doesn't give Bea a chance to answer and Bea can tell that her smirk is gone, exchanged for something slightly more serious.

"I guess I'm just worried because I don't want to see you go through anything like what you went through with him.  
I know that with me being gone now you might get lonely and I just don't want to see you fall for the wrong person again, that's all."

Bea's chest grows warm with love for Debbie.  
She really is fortunate that she's managed to raise such a kind-hearted, intelligent human being, despite it all.  
She doesn't know how it happened, but she's grateful.  
But its interactions like these that make her miss Debbie terribly.  
Bea wishes she could wrap her arms around her little girl and never let go.

"It's never going to be like that again, I promise."

It's all Bea can say as she chokes back the lump in the back of her throat, her voice unsteady with emotion.  
  
"I'm glad."

There's a short silence before Debbie speaks again and her whole attitude towards it all seems to shift.

  
"You actually went on a date! I wish I was there to see all of this unfolding, it sounds so exciting."

Bea laughs softly. "It's still early days, kid. I don't know what's going to happen."

  
If she's honest with herself, Bea thinks she knows what she wants to happen.  
But she's not used to feeling like this, like life is good and happy, the dark outlook of her former self still lurking in the shadows.  
A part of her wants to indulge in it all, get swept away in the loveliness of it, but Bea Smith is anything but an optimist, and at some point she expects that things will bottom out because things always do.  


"Well, make sure you keep me updated, I want to know everything."

  
"I will," Bea agrees warmly.

  
"Now go to bed Mum," Debbie demands playfully, amusing Bea.

  
"Yes dear. I love you Deb. I miss you so much baby."

  
"I miss you too Mum, so much. I love you to the moon and back."

  
.....  
  
  
It's Saturday morning when Bea awakes, still laid out on the sofa, the television still on quietly in the background.  
She recalls putting her phone down on the table after saying her goodbyes to Debbie but not much after that.

She yawns and stretches her body lazily.  
She has nowhere to be today and nothing at all to do except busy her mind with thoughts of Allie and ride out the high that she's still feeling after their date last night.

Bea takes her time getting herself up and prepared for the day ahead, taking a slightly longer shower than usual and donning her pyjamas again once she's dried.  
She's sitting on her front steps in the midday sun cradling her coffee cup, occasionally glancing over to the spot where she and Allie stood wrapped up in each other last night.

When she tries really hard, she can still feel Allie's touch on her body, against her lips.  
She decides to text her and as usual, it takes her a while to formulate a message that she's content with.

  
**Hi Allie. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you.**  
**I hope you're having a nice Saturday.**  


She can almost hear Franky's voice in her own head as she chastises herself for being so romantically clueless.  
She hopes its enough, that it lets Allie know that last night meant so much to her.  
To be treated with such kindness and respect is something she's never had the pleasure of knowing until last night.

Bea is about to head inside to continue her afternoon of lazing around when she sees a familiar car driving slowly down the street before pulling into her driveway.

"Well holy fuck, is that Bea Smith I see there? Fresh from the dusty depths of the closet?"  
  
Franky bellows from her open car window.

Bea rolls her eyes, shaking her head. "What are you doing here?"

  
"I was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd come by and see how your hot date went."

  
Franky lowers her reflective Wayfarers down her nasal bridge with a single finger, her eyes tracing up and down Bea's pyjama-clad figure with amusement as she approaches Franky's car.

  
"Still in ya PJs I see. Just get up, did ya?"  
  
  
"Nah, just having a lazy day."  
  
  
"Sure Red. So if I go inside I won't find Blondie still wrapped up in your sheets, exhausted after a long night of lady fucking?"

  
Bea reaches an arm inside the open window and swats at a laughing Franky.

  
"I was about to ask you if you wanna come in but now you can go fuck yourself," Bea husks playfully.

Franky pulls her keys out of the ignition, laughing in surprise at Bea's response.

  
"Ooh feisty today, I dig it Red."

  
Bea just makes a face in response and leads Franky inside the house, making another coffee for herself and her friend before they settle down in the living room, Franky on the lounge and Bea snuggled into the corner of her favourite armchair opposite her.

"So come on, out with it, I know you're dying to tell Aunty Franky how it went last night."

Bea tries to conceal her smirk behind her coffee cup. She fails miserably but she doesn't care.

"I had a really nice time," she says with a smile and a nod and she can tell instantly that Franky isn't satisfied with her miniscule offering.

  
"None of that cutesy tongue-in-cheek bullshit, I want the dirt. Spill."

  
"Ok, she picked me up and we went to a Thai restaurant for dinner. She reserved a table outside in the courtyard and there was candles and hanging lights and no one else around at first.  
Then after dinner we went and got dessert and went for a walk along the boardwalk at the waterfront," Bea recalls with a smile and a blush colouring her cheeks.

  
"And?" Franky questions impatiently.

  
Bea pauses, almost too shy to tell.

  
"We kissed."

  
Franky smiles coyly, finally appearing satisfied. "And how did you feel? Were you into it?"

Bea can't do anything except nod shyly, words escaping her.  
She wants to describe how wonderful it was to feel Allie's beautifully soft lips on hers, to finally let go of her inadequacies for a moment to indulge in something that she never thought she would have.

Franky waits patiently for more, she can see Bea's mind whirring with thoughts that she's too reserved to share.  
Bea knows that if Franky waits and encourages her just enough, she'll eventually crumble and give her what she clearly wants.  
It doesn't take as long as it usually does this time, Bea so eager to get some insight from her gay friend.

"I liked it, _a lot_.... It's just... God, I never thought I would feel this way," Bea struggles with the words to match her inner contemplations.  
  
Franky just sinks back further into the lounge, getting comfortable as she waits for Bea to continue.

"All those wasted years with Harry, not once did I ever get to feel like this.  
Like someone wants me. Like I'm worthy of attention and affection," Bea's husky voice begins to break as she chases down the lump that rises in the back of her throat.

Franky instantly leans forward, slides further along the lounge to get closer to Bea as she reaches out her hand and collects Bea's, gripping it in support.  
Bea blinks hard a few times to stamp out the tears that start to form.

"Hey, of course you're worthy. You deserve all of those things and more."

Franky's voice is unusually soft and the mere newness of it is enough to chase Bea's emotions away.  
She presses a fingertip to the corner of an eye, collecting the remnants of a single tear and her eyes fall to the floor before she has the bravado to look at Franky again.

Bea can see a change in Franky, as if she's not the only wounded one in the room.  
She frowns, about to ask Franky what's wrong when she's beaten to it.

"Fuck, since we're getting all deep and sentimental... Me and Gidge.... we're not doing so good."

Franky pushes her palms against the sides of her head and through her short dark hair.  
The weight of her situation clearly weighing heavily on her as she pushes her back into the lounge again, shaking her head.  
  
Suddenly, Bea realises that Franky's impromtu visit is less about her curiousity over Bea's date and more about her own situation.

"But I thought....? You guys just moved in together, you ditched me on Monday to be with her and you had a date a few nights ago?"

  
"Yeah, everything was good on Monday. But shit's gone downhill from there.  
It's funny how so much can change in a fuckin week."

  
Bea reflects on Franky's words. She's right, a lot _can_ change in a week.  
Last weekend Bea was sitting on her lounge alone, shedding tears over her jet-setting daughter and the persistent memories of her asshole ex-husband.  
Fast forward a week and she's daydreaming about her date with a beautiful blonde woman and all the feelings she hasn't had the good fortune of being able to experience before.

She's brought back to reality when Franky exhales loudly.

"I thought moving in together would be a solution to the time problem, like it wouldn't matter if she had to cancel a date because at least we'd be coming home to each other at the end of the day. But fuck, I dunno... somehow it's still not working."

Bea reaches out her hand this time, gently settling it down against Franky's knee.

"I'm sure its nothing, just a few teething problems. You'll get past it," Bea tries to assure her.

Franky softens somewhat, nodding her agreeance when an idea comes to the redhead.

"How about we go clear our heads?"

Franky frowns. "What did ya have in mind?" She asks carefully.

"You wanna go for a ride?"

Franky smiles widely instantly causing Bea to do the same.  


.....

  
It was closing in on dinner time when Bea and Franky finally arrived back at Bea's house, each of them feeling refreshed and lighter than when they had left.  
Bea had taken them along vast, scenic routes and quiet, open roads where she could really test the accelerator on her Harley, much to Franky's obvious elation.

Franky declined Bea's invitation to stay for dinner, deciding it was probably best to head home and try make amends with Bridget.

Bea had changed back into her pyjamas and cooked herself a quick and simple dinner, nestled into her armchair enjoying the last forkfuls of her meal when she hears her phone ringing from her backpack nearby.  
As she leaps up, still chewing her way through a mouthful of food, she digs her hand into the bag and pulls out her phone, pressing the accept button without bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello?" She rasps.

  
"Hi beautiful," Allie says softly and so smoothly.

  
Bea instantly feels her heart jump. She tries to chew faster in order to speak clearly.

  
"Is this a bad time? I can call back later if it is."

  
Bea swallows down her food just in time. "No, it's a good time actually, I just finished dinner."

  
"Perfect. Me too," Allie replies with an audible smirk.

  
"Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to your text earlier, I had to work today and it was kinda hectic."

  
"That's OK," Bea husks as she lowers herself down into her armchair again, her body already on edge and waiting to feel all of those deliciously warm and tingly feelings that Allie usually gifts her with.  


"I haven't stopped thinking about you today," Allie utters in a low voice.

  
And there it is. The hot ball of warmth that resides in Bea's stomach.  
She smiles bashfully, words failing her right now.  
Allie seems to know because she just giggles down the phone.

  
"I bet you're blushing, aren't you?"

  
Bea smiles wider, stifling a giggle into her fingers that she's balled into a loose fist against her mouth.

  
"Maybe."

  
"I wish I could see it. It's fast becoming one of my favourite things."

  
Bea's stomach feels like its caught alight, fanning flames into her chest.  
She's not a fan of awkward silences but she has nothing to say, she's not used to this level of flirtation and the low sensuality that Allie's voice is dripping with is doing things to her.

Allie just laughs, clearly aware of the effect she's having on Bea.  


"Alright, I'll behave," she concedes with amusement. "There _is_ a point to my phone call, I swear. I was wondering if you have any plans tomorrow night?"

  
Bea finally manages to swallow down her timidness.  


"No I'm free."

  
"Well in that case would you allow me the honour of spending another evening in your company?"

  
Bea is powerless against the half shy, half delighted giggle that escapes her.

  
"Oh how very formal of you," she replies playfully.

  
"But of course, I'm still courting you, remember?" Allie utters smoothly.

  
Bea is filled with what she can only believe is affection.  
How pleasantly refreshing it is to be spoken to so wonderfully, to be shown such tenderness from someone with no knowledge of her past.  
Someone who has no duty to be so kind to her, but does so out of her own benevolence.  
Harry would only ever talk to her like ransom notes were spilling from his mouth and now she has Allie who seems like she's reciting poetry when she speaks.  
  
She wants to blurt out her gratitude and get uncharacteristically sentimental but she resists for fear of it being too much, too soon.

  
"How could I forget... I'd really like that."

  
"Excellent. I'm thinking dinner and a movie? You know, standard date night."

  
It may be standard in the real world, but if only Allie knew that Bea had been denied this simple experience until now.

  
"That sounds really nice, thank you."

  
Allie must hear the weight of her gratitude in her voice and she seems to soften in return.

  
"It's me that should be thanking you."

  
"How do you figure that?"

  
Allie pauses and Bea assumes she's deliberating her words.

  
"Because it's you... you could be out there spending time with whoever you want but you're spending it with me.... I feel very lucky."

  
Bea's skin goes from warm to scorching.  
The skeptic in her wants to scoff at such a sentiment but the romantic in her, who is just coming into existence, eats it up and wants so badly to reciprocate if only she knew how.

  
"Allie..." she breathes quietly, consumed by shyness. She wants to say more but she doesn't know where to begin.

  
"Sorry, I'm coming on too strong again, I'll try-"

  
"No," Bea says softly, mustering bravery from some unknown origin.

  
"I like it... And I'm definitely the lucky one. I don't know what you see in me but I'm glad you see it."

  
It's like a tiny weight off her shoulders.  
Bea feels relieved for having said it, but as Allie pauses, worry encroaches on her again.

  
"God Bea, if only you knew," Allie breathes in response.

  
There's another pause and Bea simply enjoys the marvellous blush that covers her chest and the increased rhythm of her heavily beating heart.

  
"Can I pick you up at five tomorrow?" Allie asks eventually.

  
"Yeah."

  
"Cool. I uhh... I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I kind of can't stop thinking about kissing you."

  
_God_.  
Bea isn't sure she can take too much more of this. Her skin already feels like its on fire.  
She's amazed she's so affected by the sound of Allie's smooth, familiar voice and beautiful sentimentality.  
She smiles shamelessly to herself.  
Suddenly, she feels a little brave.

  
"Me too. I didn't want you to stop last night."

  
Allie sighs and Bea can just about imagine her throwing her head back with a look of helplessness across her features.

  
"I'm following your lead, remember? Don't be afraid to take what you want, Bea."

  
"I'll keep that in mind. See you tomorrow Allie."

  
Bea can hear the grin on the blonde's lips.

  
"Good night Bea."

  
As Bea presses the end call button, she can't help but feel a flash of excitement about what tomorrow has in store for her.  
  
  
-  


 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie go on their second date and Allie reveals a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Happy belated Valentines!  
> If you were left broken hearted by Foxtel's little teaser preview of S5 this week, then read on.  
> Because in my fic, love really does never die   
> xxx

  
Bea stands in the middle of her walk-in robe, her towel, still slightly damp from the shower she had not long ago, wrapped around her body tightly.   
She groans as her eyes trace over the numerous pieces of clothing.

_This_ again.

Allie is picking her up in a little over an hour and she still has no clue about what she's going to wear.   
Everything she sees is black and is usually worn to work.

She realises she's been standing there way too long and if she doesn't make a decision soon, she'll be answering the door in her towel.   
Bea smiles to herself as she thinks Allie probably wouldn't mind.

She scoops her phone up in her hand and dials a familiar number.  
  


"Yo."  
  


"What the hell do I wear on a second date?" She blurts out almost frantically with a touch of exasperation.

  
"You have a second date?" Franky asks in surprise.

  
"Yeah. She'll be here in an hour."

  
"Fuck Red, you must be a shit hot kisser if she wants a second date already," she muses.

  
Bea can only sigh in reply, sidestepping Franky's remark as she continues.  
  


"Can you help me? I'm standing in my wardrobe in a towel."

  
"Prove it Red, send me a picture," Franky replies playfully, her cheeky smirk apparent in her voice.

  
"Franky," Bea groans in annoyance. "I'm begging you."

  
"I like where this is going."

  
Bea sighs again, rolling her eyes. "OK fine, I'll call Maxine instead."

  
She pulls the phone away from her ear and is about to touch the screen to end the call when she hears Franky's voice coming faintly from her phone's tiny speaker.

  
"Wait! I'll help you, you know I like to have my fun with you first. Where are you two lovebirds going?"

  
"Dinner and a movie," Bea replies casually as she runs a hand along some of the clothes hanging in a section of her wardrobe.

  
"Where are you going for dinner?"

  
Bea traces her mind back to her phone call with Allie last night.

  
"She didn't say."

  
Franky hums in consideration. "OK, well she's probably not thinking somewhere formal if you're going to the movies afterwards.   
So you can get away with something a bit more casual.   
If I were you, I'd wear those black skinny jeans that make your ass look hot as fuck, that green shirt and either a jacket or that black blazer of yours."

Bea feels relief wash over her, bringing a calming effect along with it as she moves to collect the items that Franky mentioned.

  
"Thank you Franky, you're a life saver."

  
"Eh I do what I can. It comes with a price though Red, I expect full disclosure when you two get your fuck on," Franky replies in all seriousness, earning another groan from Bea.

  
"Gross Franky."

  
"You say gross now, but you'll think differently when she's moaning and writhing and coming apart beneath your hands."

 

The graphic nature of Franky's words brings a warmth to Bea's body.   
It's not the kind of sensation she needs or wants when she's so close to seeing Allie.   
As much as she enjoys the blonde's company and all of the lovely sensations she gives her, it is Bea's understanding that desire is something that can be easily detected and she's just not ready for anything more than kissing just yet. She would hate to send Allie the wrong message.

  
"I'm no where near ready for any of that," she utters shyly.

  
Franky's voice is softer, void of any teasing this time.

  
"Well when you are, come and see me and I'll tell you all about the lesbian birds and bees."

  
Bea manages to giggle as she threads her legs through her jeans, trapping her phone between her shoulder and ear.

  
"Thanks. So how'd things go with Bridget last night?"

  
There's a deep sigh on the other end of the line and it erases Bea's smile upon hearing it.

  
"We've definitely got some shit to sort out. But she _wants_ to, so that's something I guess."

  
Bea doesn't really know what to say.   
She's never been in a similar situation before so she can't really draw on past experience.   
She wants to help, partly because Franky has been _so_ helpful to her throughout this whole Allie thing, and prior to that when she was going through the worst of things with Harry.

  
"You'll get through it, I'm sure."  
  


Bea wishes she could say more but her mere offering must be enough for Franky.

  
"Cheers Red. I better let you go, you've got a hot date soon."

  
And just like that, Bea's stomach is suddenly full of butterflies. She inhales deeply in an attempt to steady herself.

  
"Yeah. Thanks Franky."

  
"Oh and Red? _Have fun_. You deserve it, remember that."

  
As they hang up and Bea finishes getting ready, she marvels at how far she and Franky have come recently.   
The tattooed brunette had always been kind, beneath a thick guise of attitude and sarcasm, but since Debbie has left, Franky has really stepped up into more of a best friend role.   
It seemed so unlikely at first, the pair being such opposites in nature, but Bea reminds herself that she wouldn't be in this situation now if it wasn't for Franky.   
Bea doesn't know where things are headed with Allie, but she will forever be grateful to Franky for bringing them together.

Bea finishes straightening her hair and applies one more coat of translucent balm to her lips when she hears knocking at her front door.   
She quickly glances at the clock on her bedside table as she hurries out of her ensuite, through her room and down the staircase to the front door. 4:57.   
She'll give Allie one thing, she always seems to be punctual.

Bea peels back the front door, skin already blushed from the nervous anxiety that hit her as soon as she heard Allie knocking.  
  


"Well hey there, good looking," Allie beams devilishly.

  
"Hi," Bea giggles nervously.

  
Allie's features soften in appreciation of Bea's form and Bea can't help but mirror her response.   
Allie is wearing a navy blue button up shirt, her hair is down and covering her collar and she's paired it with white skinny jeans.

  
"Come in, I'm not quite ready," Bea husks, willing the flare of heat in her stomach away as she surveys Allie's suddenly lustful expression.

Bea barely has time to close the door before she feels Allie's warm hands against her cheeks, pulling her towards the blonde and into a wonderfully passionate kiss.   
Bea moans helplessly into Allie's mouth and Allie reacts instantly as she angles her face perfectly and deepens their kiss with a lick of her hot, wet tongue.   
She thinks she feels Allie moving but it isn't until she feels her back against the hard timber of the door that she realises the blonde has spun them around.  
Allie presses her body gently into Bea's.   
Bea grips Allie's arms firmly and she can just hear Allie inhaling a deep breath through her nose over the gentle suckling sounds their mouths are making and the heavy beating of her pulse, loud in her ears.   
As passionately as she's kissing her, Allie's mouth is still soft and gentle.   
Bea finally gets over her initial shock and suddenly feels propelled by courage as she slides her hands down Allie's arms and onto her waist.   
Allie utters a gentle moan as Bea pulls at her hips, coercing her lean body to press firmer against Bea's.   
Allie quickly moves a hand down to Bea's hip in response, her other hand still pressed gently against the redhead's jaw.   
Bea is powerless against the sigh she breathes into Allie's mouth as Allie slides her hand further and softly grasps at Bea's backside.  
Allie must feel Bea's body suddenly become tense beneath her touch because she breaks their kiss and quickly removes her hand.   
As she pulls back, Bea sees her flushed cheeks and usually light eyes, now slightly darker, mirroring her desire.   
Their chests are visibly heaving with their quickened breath and Bea feels oddly heavy against the door, as if her limbs are sinking beneath water.

  
"Sorry," Allie breathes. "You're still in charge, I swear, I've just been desperate to kiss you all day. I couldn't wait any longer."

  
As Bea's slackened features finally recover, she smiles, gently closing a hand around the back of Allie's neck and guiding her forehead to rest against Bea's.  
Allie smiles in return and it only adds to the tangle of heat that's pooling in the low regions of Bea's stomach.

  
"I know what you mean," Bea whispers.  
  
She places a brief but gentle kiss on Allie's tender lips, earning an even wider smile from the blonde.

  
"Just let me grab my jacket and we can go."

  
Bea tries to push herself off the door but she finds her limbs still heavy with the shock of Allie's passionate greeting.   
Allie must know because she slides her fingers through Bea's and gently pulls.  
Bea finds her legs shaky beneath her as she makes her way towards the stairs.

  
"I left it upstairs, make yourself comfy, won't be a minute," she throws over her shoulder.

  
When she reaches her room she takes a moment to breathe deeply, brace herself against the wall and really try to recover.  
The more she thinks about what just happened, the deeper she feels aflame.

She reminds herself to focus on the fact that Allie is downstairs waiting for her.   
She manages to compose herself to an acceptable point and makes her way back downstairs with her jacket in hand.   
Her eyes fall on Allie as she rises slowly from the couch and Bea notices that something has changed.   
The atmosphere in the room feels heavier somehow, Allie's expression reflecting the same.

  
"Bea?" she utters, almost shyly. "Before we go anywhere, can we talk?"

  
Bea feels her smile drop and she nods in agreeance, trying her hardest to appear casual.   
Her insides are instantly brimming with worry.  
Allie gestures to the space beside her and Bea obeys, both coming to rest on the lounge, Bea leaving what she thinks is an appropriate amount of space between them.

  
"I umm, I just wanted to talk to you about something kind of... difficult."

  
Bea reads the change in Allie's body, her hands are clasped together and pressed between her thighs and her shoulders are slumped with a sudden weight.

  
"OK."

  
Allie struggles to find the words. "I know it's only been a few days, not even a week yet, but I like you and I respect you and I don't want to keep anything from you."

  
For a second, Bea feels as though Allie is trying to single her out, guilt-trip her into exposing her past and her secrets as if she has prior knowledge of them.

  
"You remember how I told you that when I was a teenager I moved to Sydney to be with my girlfriend?"

  
Bea nods, chewing the inside of her cheek nervously.

  
"My family were really against my relationship, they didn't think it would last, that I was stupid for picking up my whole life and moving so far away just to be with her.   
So when things fell apart about a month later, I didn't want to prove everyone right and go home with my tail between my legs, so I got my own place.   
But I started to struggle really fast, city living is super expensive."

  
Allie's breathing changes into something more laboured, like the sheer memory of whatever she endured is enough to upset her.   
She isn't looking at Bea but Bea can't tear her eyes away.   
She really is baffled as to where this is all going.

  
"In order to pay my own way I had to make a lot of money," Allie utters in little more than a self-loathing whisper.

  
There's a pause and Bea's mind goes to a range of places in that expanse of time.

  
"Bea, I used to be a dancer."

  
Bea simply nods and sits and waits for more.   
From the way Allie is obscuring her face and avoiding Bea's eyes, that can't be as simple as her admission gets.

  
"Do you get what I'm trying to say?" She asks quietly.

  
"I think so." But Bea doesn't know and she's too timid to admit it.  
  
  
Allie sighs heavily.

  
"An _exotic_ dancer...."

  
Bea absorbs the information, waiting to feel something, expecting to react.   
When she remains silent, Allie finally lifts her gaze to gauge her reaction, her face having been mostly hidden behind her hair like a blonde curtain.   
Bea sees the obvious emotion in her features, the blatant fear that her revelation is off-putting in some way.

When Bea just nods blankly, Allie continues, looking at her in the eye this time.

  
"I hated it and I didn't do it for that long. But I thought I should tell you.   
It's kind of been a deal-breaker for others in the past."

  
Bea suddenly gets it.  
  
  
"Thank you for telling me," she says simply.   
She shifts on the lounge, closing the distance between their bodies and reaches a hand across to rest on Allie's knee.   
She finds an ounce of bravery within herself because she can see that Allie needs reassurance right now.

  
"If you think I'm going to think any less of you, or that I want to stop seeing you then you're wrong."

  
A relieved smile splits Allie's lips and she holds onto Bea's hand firmly, her body suddenly void of the tension and heaviness from earlier.

  
"Jesus Bea, you're something else, you know that right?"

  
Allie surges forward and kisses Bea with such elation, Bea can't help but smile against her lips.   
It's only brief in duration, but its significance isn't lost on Bea.

  
"Thank you. I was so worried," she reveals timidly.

  
Bea just smiles and cups Allie's cheek in her palm.

  
"You needn't be."

  
Allie smiles softly, gazing into Bea's eyes as if she's trying to commit them to her memory then she kisses Bea again, lingering this time as her lips caress Bea's so purposefully it makes the redhead's stomach flip on itself.

For a tiny moment, Bea wonders if this is the right time to tell Allie about her own past.   
When she's almost overwhelmed by an instant feeling of dread, she quickly pushes the thought from her mind, enjoying the blonde's closeness instead.

When they part, Allie moves her hand up to tuck a section of Bea's red brown strands behind her ear.

  
"Would the lady care to accompany me to dinner now?" Allie jests, rewarded with a laugh from Bea.

  
They make their way, hand in hand to Allie's car where she opens Bea's door for her again and Bea can't help but grin at the gesture.   
After a little discussion they decide on Italian, there's a cosy little restaurant that's within walking distance from the movie theatre.

Bea feels different tonight.   
Usually she feels shy initially, as though she's starting fresh with each new encounter with Allie, but not tonight.   
Although she feels increasingly comfortable around Allie, she still has trouble voicing her needs and wants, still isn't courageous enough to take what she wants.  
She's so grateful that Allie is patient and understanding and willing to allow her the time she needs.

Bea eyes Allie's thigh as they chat and ponders placing her hand against it but she doesn't, her inner coward talking her out of it.   
  
Allie pulls into a nearby carpark, urging Bea to remain in the car until she rounds it and opens Bea's door for her again.

  
"You don't have to do that, you know," Bea rasps with a smile and a gentle nudge of Allie's shoulder as they walk closely beside one another.

  
"Bea Smith, you wouldn't be trying to reject my chivalrous advances, would you?"   
Allie says, feigning a shocked expression.

  
"Oh heavens no, one wouldn't wish to offend one, advance away," Bea jokes in return.   
  
  
Suddenly Allie's hand is gripping Bea's and her soft lips press a quick kiss to Bea's cheek, making her blush.  
Allie just giggles as they enter the restaurant and are shown to a small table off to the side corner of the open plan room.  
It's much less formal than the Thai restaurant they ate at on their first date and Bea quickly feels relaxed in the casual atmosphere.

Bea can't recall a time when she has felt so at ease with another person so quickly.   
Sure, all of those awkward, bittersweet inadequacies are still there inside of her, making their presence known, but Bea feels as though the more time she spends with Allie, the less they rule her.

They share a pizza and salad and constant contact of their legs beneath the table as they each reveal more about themselves.

Bea is still guarded and she thinks it must be obvious to Allie by now, but Allie doesn't push.   
She simply waits for information and listens intently to the things that Bea does reveal about herself and her life.

  
"So, before I came along, what were you doing to fill your days and nights?" Allie asks, wiping a stray spot of pizza sauce from the corner of her mouth.

  
"Not much. Since Debbie left 3 weeks ago I guess I haven't really been doing too much.   
The girls from the salon have been looking after me, having me over for dinners and stuff like that," Bea says with a shrug of her shoulders.

Allie smiles coyly. "So I guess I came along at just the right time."

Bea can't stifle her amused giggle. "Yeah, you're a real saviour."

Allie just quirks an eyebrow. "Why thank you," she says smoothly with a wink.

Bea shakes her head in reponse as she takes a sip from her beer bottle.

  
"Will you tell me about your friends? The ones I haven't met yet?"

  
"Well there's Maxine, my boss at the salon. She's sweet and kind and such a gentle soul, the same goes for Liz.   
And then there's Boomer," Bea says with a roll of her eyes and a smile on her mouth.

  
"Boomer?"

  
"Yeah, Susan is her real name. Franky came up with the nickname because she's actually quit her job at the salon at least 3 times now but she keeps coming back like a boomerang."

  
Allie throws her head back with a hearty laugh. "I love it. So why the eye roll? What's up with Boomer?"

  
"She's a sweetheart, but she has absolutely no filter. She's worse than Franky sometimes."

  
Allie narrows her eyes in mock suspicion.

  
"What?" Bea asks, eyes tracing over her changing expression.

  
"It's nothing," Allie utters, suddenly self-conscious.

  
"Tell me," Bea urges.

  
Allie draws in a deep breath, a slight smile on her lips but Bea can see it's not out of any genuine amusement.

  
"Franky..... Have you two ever...?"

  
It takes a moment for Bea to realise what she's asking but when it does sink in, Bea can't help but laugh.

  
"No, no way. She's just a friend, and sometimes she's not even that."

  
Bea can almost see the relief that comes over Allie.

  
"Sorry, I swear I'm not one of _those_ girls."

  
Bea closes a hand around Allie's knee beneath the table and the gesture takes Allie by surprise for a moment.

  
"Don't be sorry," Bea husks, leaning in closer. "It's cute."

  
Allie's expression softens and her eyes roam over Bea's eyes before falling to her lips.

  
" _You're_ cute."

  
She can tell that Allie wants to kiss her but they're in a busy place surrounded by people and Bea has never been one for public displays of affection, not that she's ever been given the opportunity.   
She simply smiles bashfully, willing away her reddening cheeks as she drops her gaze to the floor.   
Allie can read her apprehension so she doesn't coerce her and she places a warm hand on top of Bea's, still resting on Allie's knee.

  
"Do you want dessert or should we just gorge ourselves on popcorn and snacks?"

  
Her voice is low and Bea can't seem to shake the impression that Allie is keen to get her into a dark movie theatre.   
The thought should make her shy with trepidation, but instead Bea enjoys the tingle that graces her lower stomach.

  
"Let's gorge," Bea utters, equally as sensually.

  
Allie grins devilishly and she quickly moves to settle the bill before Bea even has a chance to pull out her wallet.

  
"The next one is on me," she says firmly, nudging Allie's shoulder playfully as they make their way down the street and toward the movie theatre.

  
"We'll see about that," Allie says with a grin.

  
They're silent for a short moment before Allie speaks again.

  
"Are you busy on Tuesday night?"

  
"No, why's that?"

  
"I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place for dinner."

  
Bea isn't entirely sure why, but her stomach flips on itself and fills her limbs with a gentle warmth.

  
"I'd love to," she says automatically, her mind totally consumed with her own reaction to the innocent enough invitation.

  
She glances over to see Allie smiling brightly.

They arrive at the movie theatre and Allie buys way too many snacks for two people, much to Bea's amusement.   
They decide on something light, some generic rom-com starring a bunch of actors that Bea has never heard of.   
As they enter the cinema, Bea is surprised to see that so far, they're the only ones there.

  
"I guess Sunday nights are the best time to go to the movies," Allie smiles as they find their seats at the far end of the top row.

  
Bea leaves an empty seat beside her and Allie deposits half of the snacks on it and the other half on the empty seat beside herself.   
As the room grows darker and the previews begin to roll, Allie lifts the armrest between them and pushes it up and out of the way before settling slightly closer to Bea.

There's just _something_ about the darkness of the room and the heat that Bea can feel coming off Allie's body that makes Bea's heart flutter within her chest.   
She decides to act on it for once, rather than let it fester within her until it becomes an overwhelming tangle of nerves and awkwardness.   
She rests her hand on Allie's thigh, eyes trained on the movie screen ahead.   
Out of her periphery she sees Allie quickly turn her head, surveying Bea's features in the dull light.   
Bea dares herself to glance over at Allie, knowing full well that she wants to kiss her and Bea is happy to indulge until she sees a young couple enter, slipping into the first row of seats they see in the middle of the cinema.   
Bea smiles uncomfortably and returns her stare to the screen ahead as the movie starts.   
Allie reads her sudden self-consciousness and settles for threading her fingers through Bea's with a smile, turning her gaze to the screen.

They stay like that for a while, Allie occasionally offering Bea a snack to which she just shakes her head and smiles.   
It gets to roughly the half way mark of the movie and Bea has forgotten about the tingling in her tummy, having grown comfortable with the closeness of Allie's body and their joined hands.   
Allie leans in closer, her lips mere millimetres away from Bea's ear.

  
"Hey, check out those two down there," she whispers, amusement obvious in her tone.

  
The feeling of Allie's warm breath against her ear is enough to make Bea feel warm all over but when she glances down the cinema and sees the young couple joined at the lips, clawing at each other's bodies as they make out hungrily, Bea feels an instant blush on her cheeks and quickly averts her eyes away from them.  
She releases an embarrassed giggle that makes Allie laugh.  
She leans in even closer and Bea can feel her warm lips against her ear lobe as she whispers.

  
"Maybe we should give them a run for their money."

  
Allie captures Bea's ear lobe between her lips then presses kiss after kiss against her jawline until she reaches Bea's ready mouth.   
Bea's body feels like its on fire, her chest visibly heaving with her laboured breath.   
She cups Allie's cheek with a slightly shaking hand as Allie moans against her mouth, burying her fingers in Bea's hair.   
The feeling of Allie's warm tongue pushing past her lips and gliding against hers and the knowledge that they're in a public place is enough to cause Bea to lose herself in the fire that fans through her body.   
Allie turns her body toward Bea as her kisses turn hungrier, deepening as she moans again and curls her fingers in Bea's hair, tugging gently.   
The intensity of Allie's kisses should intimidate Bea, but she finds herself moaning in return and wanting to put her hands in not so innocent places.   
She settles for Allie's hip but after a long, long time of kissing like this, she finds that her hand wants to explore even further.  
Bea slowly slides her hand down Allie's hip and the outside of her thigh and just as she is about to circle Allie's knee and slide her hand back up again, they're interrupted by the cinema's lights coming on overhead.

As they part quickly, Bea succumbs to laughter as she glances at Allie whose lips are now a deep red and her hair a mess of tangles where Bea's fingers have been gently scraping at her skull.

  
"Come here, let me fix your hair," she rasps through giggles, running her long fingers through Allie's soft locks.

  
"God, those fingers of yours are magic," she sighs, quirking an eyebrow suggestively, enjoying Bea's inevitable blush.

  
They leave the cinema and step into the cool night air, discovering the weather had turned stormy while they were hidden away in the darkness of the movie.   
Allie winds her arm around Bea's waist and pulls her close in an effort to keep them both as dry as possible in the driving rain as they quickly navigate their way back to Allie's car.   
Of course she opens Bea's door for her again and by the time they both climb in, they're both soaked through, Allie moreso.

  
"So, did you want to go somewhere else or do you just wanna go home and dry off?" Allie asks casually.

  
Bea hums in consideration. "Is it ok if I wanna go home?" She asks hesitantly.

Allie just smiles warmly. "Of course it is."

Bea is feeling unusually talkative on the ride home as they recount their evening, laughing at the younger couple in the cinema.

  
"I bet I know what they're going home to do," Allie says suggestively.

  
Bea laughs but the idea of what she's insinuating makes her squirm in her seat.

  
"Do you really think so?"

  
"Bea come on, that poor guy couldn't move when we left."

  
It takes Bea a moment to catch on but when she does, she screws her face up into a scowl.

  
"Gross Allie."

  
Allie simply laughs in reply. "I know women have it tough sometimes with all the shit we have to go through, periods and childbirth and whatnot, but I'd _never_ be a guy, not for all the money in the world. That whole penis deal? No thanks."

Bea's brain gives her no reply, only reminds her of her own experiences with that certain appendage.   
She runs her fingers though her wet hair, shivering slightly in her wet clothing.

  
"Sorry, that was crass. I hope I didn't offend," Allie says softly, quickly glancing over at Bea as she rounds the corner into Bea's street.

  
"Course not," Bea replies honestly.

  
As Allie pulls into her driveway she realises she doesn't know what to do next.   
She could invite Allie inside but after their heated makeout session in the cinema, she's concerned it will give Allie the wrong idea.   
Bea can see that the blonde is also shivering slightly as she turns the ignition off and it compels her to make a decision.

  
"Would you like to come in? You can dry off and I can make you something warm to drink."

  
A bright smile breaks out across Allie's ample lips. "I'd love to but I should let you get some rest. I assume you're off to work tomorrow."

  
"Yeah. Aren't you?"

  
"No, I get Mondays off."

  
The rain begins to fall heavily and they have to raise their voices slightly to compete with the sound.

  
"Really? So what are you up to tomorrow?"

  
"I usually have brunch with Aunty Kaz on a Monday and then nothing for the rest of the day.   
I might go to the gym, especially if there's a chance that I might run into a certain sexy redhead," Allie says with a sly grin.

Sexy?   
No one has ever referred to Bea as sexy.   
The mere insinuation of it slackens Bea's expression and she's suddenly overcome with an overpowering desire to kiss Allie.   
However, her ever-present shyness limits her again and she simply smiles at the compliment.

  
"I don't know if I'll get there yet, Mondays are usually pretty busy at the salon."

  
Allie nods, reaching across and placing a warm hand against Bea's cold thigh.

  
"Well even if I don't get to see you, I'll definitely talk to you."

  
"Definitely," Bea agrees with a wide smile.

  
"Let me walk you to your door," Allie offers kindly and moves to unfasten her seatbelt but Bea's voice stops her.

  
"No you stay here, I don't want you getting any wetter and catching a cold because of me."

  
Allie smiles and brings her hand up to Bea's jaw, gently rubbing her thumb against Bea's warm skin.

"It's all part of my sinister plan, if I get sick then you'll have to take care of me. I've already got the sexy nurse's outfit at home for ya."

  
Bea laughs and reaches out to tuck a section of Allie's wet blonde hair behind her ear.

  
"Hey," Allie's voice is suddenly softer and barely audible over the loud rain that hits her car.

  
"Thanks for being so cool about my past. I know its not ideal and I wish I could change things-"

  
Bea leans in and cuts her off with a warm, slow kiss. Its only brief but it clearly means something to Allie, her eyes softening with her obvious adoration for Bea.

  
"Enough of that, it's in the past. Please believe me when I say that it really, really doesn't bother me."

  
Allie's smile widens and her thumb swiping against Bea's jaw becomes slightly firmer as she sighs.

  
"You're amazing, Bea Smith."

  
Bea can only blush, earning a soft giggle from Allie before she leans in and caresses Bea's lips so tenderly it sends the heat that gathers in the base of her stomach hurtling through her entire body.   
Bea parts her lips wider, deepening the kiss as she tries to move closer to Allie but she's obstructed by the gear stick and hand brake.   
The way Allie kisses her, sucking in audible breaths through her nostils and the sound of the rain falling around them gives Bea a sensation so tender, she finds that she actually doesn't want it to end.   
She gives in to the need for oxygen in the end and breaks their kiss with a groan.

  
"Don't go yet," Allie urges her with a neediness to her voice. "Stay here til the rain slows."

  
Bea laughs softly, running her hand up and down Allie's upper arm.

  
"But that could take all night."

  
"Good, I hope it does." Allie's lips are on hers as soon as she's uttered the words and Bea smiles against her mouth.

  
"Fine," Allie breathes with a pout when Bea pulls away much too quickly for the blonde's liking.   
"Go, if you really have to."

  
"Good night Allie. Thanks for tonight, I had a wonderful time," Bea utters genuinely.

  
"You're welcome, thank you for hanging out with me. Good night beautiful."

  
Bea presses one more kiss to Allie's waiting lips before she leaves the car, quickly darting beneath the shelter of her balcony.

She watches Allie pull away and feels a sting of disappointment and can't quite believe that their date is now just a memory, one that she'll most likely replay in her mind over and over again.   
  
-  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie surprises Bea at work and Bea confides in Maxine.  
> Later, Bea does something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy hump day!  
> Thank you all for continuing to follow this work, it blew my mind to get to 5k hits, it truly was the best birthday present there was. 
> 
> And a special shout out to my BFF who shared the shit out of this to make sure it hit that 5k mark just to see me smile  
> xx

  
"What the fuck kind of time do you call this?" Franky bellows as Bea bursts through the salon door.

Bea's late. _Very_ late.

"Sorry, I slept through my alarm," she says breathlessly as she quickly dumps her bag and helmet in the back room and races over to her station, quickly preparing it in readiness for her first client who is due any moment.

  
"More like you didn't hear it over all of Blondie's moaning," Franky quips.

  
Maxine slaps her forearm softly as the tattooed brunette and Boomer laugh loudly.

  
"It's fine Bea, don't worry love. Your first client rebooked anyway so you can relax a little bit," Maxine says sweetly.

  
Bea exhales loudly in relief and slows her frantic movements.

  
"So we're all dying to know how your date went on Friday night," Liz says as she comes to stand close to Bea, together with Maxine.

  
Bea is helpless against the bashful smile that overtakes her mouth.

  
"It was really nice, I had a nice time. Thank you all for what you did for me."

  
" _And_ she had a second date last night," Franky adds as they all react with squeals and gasps.

  
"Good for you, Bea. It sounds like she's absolutely smitten with you love," Liz says kindly.

  
"Judging by the look on that face, I'd say it's mutual," Maxine adds with a look so tender, Bea is moved by it.   
She tries to hide her blush behind her red brown curls and is about to respond when she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket.

  
"I reckon that's lover girl now," Boomer grins devilishly as Bea pulls her phone out and her smile widens, confirming what they already knew.

  
**Good morning beautiful :) I know ur at work so I'll keep it brief.**   
**I haven't stopped thinking about u. I wish I could spend 2day just kissing u instead of hanging with Aunty Kaz :(  
I reeeeally hope I get to c u at the gym later ;) Hav a gr8 day babe xxx**

  
Babe.   
Bea can't tame her smile as she re-reads Allie's message over and over, focusing on the last word.   
She decides to reply since she has some time and she settles into her chair as she types.

**Hi Allie. I'm happy to hear from you, my day started out badly. I slept through my alarm and have only just made it to work.  
I'm sure you will have fun with your Aunty. But I know what you mean, I'd rather be with you today too. I'll let you know about later x**

  
As she presses the send button, she feels Franky's eyes upon her and she glances up to meet her intense stare.

  
"Don't mind me, I'm just checking you for hickies," Franky teases, following her comment with a wink.

  
"Well you can stop, you won't find any."

  
"Shit, don't tell me you still haven't put out Red," she growls in disapproval.

  
Bea scoffs, her face contorting into a scowl. "We've been on two dates, Franky."

  
"I've done it with chicks after the _first_ date."

  
"And how long have those _relationships_ lasted, hmm?" Bea shoots back defensively, effectively silencing her friend.

  
"So how are things with you and Bridget now?" Bea asks quietly, not wanting the others to overhear.   
  
  
Franky doesn't look up from the task that she's busied herself with.

  
"Don't ask," she utters quietly yet firmly.

Bea just stares, her mind a muddle of unspoken thoughts. She can see the weight of the couple's problems weighing heavily on Franky, her shoulders are rounded and her eyebrows are slanted.   
She rises from her chair and gently pats her hand against Franky's shoulder, hoping the gesture resonates enough for her to feel comforted by it.

  
About an hour and a half later, Bea is rinsing a colour from her client's hair by the basins when, over the sound of the harshly running water in front of her, she faintly hears the salon door opening and a familiar voice wishing them all good morning.   
Her eyes lift and she sees Allie approaching with a take away coffee in one hand and a white, rectangular bakery box in the other.   
Bea can feel her dumb smile as she takes in the breathtaking sight of Allie in a short, pale blue dress and a soft white cardigan.   
Her blonde hair is down and she smiles so brightly when she locks eyes with Bea.

  
"Can I help you love?" Maxine asks, yet to notice the look that Bea and Allie are currently sharing and the amused grin on Franky's knowing face.   
The blonde manages to meet Maxine's gaze as she replies.

  
"I bought you ladies some cupcakes for morning tea. I'm Allie."

  
They all seem to stop what they're doing to turn and survey the blonde in the middle of the room and Maxine unexpectantly throws her arms around Allie as if they're old friends.   
It visibly shocks her at first but Allie quickly returns the gesture with a smile.

  
"Oh Allie, it's so good to meet you, love. I'm Maxine, that's Boomer, Liz and Franky," she gushes, gesturing to each of the women as she rests one hand on Allie's upper back.

  
Allie nods and smiles warmly at Liz and Boomer and waves at Franky with a smirk.

  
"Nice to see you again, Franky."

  
"It's nicer to see you, Blondie," she utters smoothly, her green eyes tracing up and down Allie's body with a hunger that makes Bea frown at the flicker of jealousy that she suddenly feels.   
  
  
"When are you gonna get sick of Red over there and come shack up with me instead?"

  
Allie just smirks wider, clearly unphased by Franky's forwardness.

  
"I've got you pencilled in my diary for the eighth of never."

  
Franky throws her head back with laughter, as do the other women.

  
"I'll finish washing your colour out Bea, you go take a 15 minute break, catch up with Allie," Maxine says kindly, ushering Bea out from behind the basin.   
  
She obliges shyly, uttering her thanks as she wipes her wet hands on a nearby towel, her smile never once leaving her lips.   
She gestures to the back office and once inside and behind the safety of the closed door, Bea turns to Allie, about to voice her gratitude for the surprise visit when Allie's hands are on her cheeks and her lips are on Bea's.   
There's no time for politeness or for being shy as Allie almost instantly licks into Bea's mouth and Bea finds that she needs to cling to Allie's body just to steady herself.   
She's in awe of just how quickly she goes from surprised to aroused.   
She can feel the warmth of the ever present heat rising up through her body, colouring her chest with the desire she suddenly feels.

When Allie manages to pull herself away, a task that seems to cause her actual pain, she smiles warmly at Bea's dumbfounded expression.

  
"Sorry, I swear I didn't come here just so I could make out with you in the middle of your work day," she giggles as she removes her hands from Bea's face and lifts the cardboard coffee mug off the table and presents it the redhead.

  
"I figured you probably didn't get time to pick up your coffee this morning. I remember that you said it was a part of your morning ritual. Cappuccino with an extra shot, just the way you like it."

  
Bea is floored by the kindness of Allie's gesture.   
Despite her becoming more and more used to Allie, she finds that this level of kindness is just so new to her and she doesn't quite know how to respond at first.   
It all becomes a bit much for her and suddenly she can feel the hot sting of tears threatening the corners of her eyes.   
Allie of course notices instantly and gently rubs her hand up and down Bea's arm soothingly.

  
"It's only coffee Bea, not a diamond ring," she says, slightly amused.

  
"I know, but it's just so nice. And you remembered that tiny little detail about me and my routine."

  
Suddenly she's overcome with shame at what is clearly an over-reaction.

  
"Hey," Allie says softly, her gentle touch on Bea's hip successfully grounding her.   
  
"Of course I remember. I remember every little thing you tell me about yourself.   
Like how sexy you think I am and how hot it makes you when I do this," Allie murmurs before she collects a handful of Bea's loose black shirt in her fist and gently tugs the redhead towards her, placing a slow, gentle kiss on her lips.

Bea smiles as they part, gazing into Allie's bright blue eyes, seemingly brighter today because of the blue of her dress reflecting in them.

  
"I never said that," she whispers hoarsely.

  
"You don't have to, your body tells me everything that you're too shy to say," Allie replies playfully with a wink and Bea can only laugh softly in reply.

  
"As much as I don't want to, I have to go. Aunty Kaz will be wondering where I am."

  
Bea pouts before she places a lingering kiss on Allie's waiting mouth.

  
"Thank you for dropping in and for the coffee and cakes. The girls will love you for it."

  
"I think Maxine already does," she jokes as she pulls back the door to find everyone's eyes on them, seemingly questioning the couple about their closed door interaction without speaking the words.

  
"Enjoy your cupcakes ladies," Allie calls out as she heads for the door, the women shouting their thank yous and the blonde turns for one last glance at Bea.   
  
"Bye babe."

  
And there it is again. That word that Bea has suddenly come to adore.

  
"Call me, Novak!" Franky yells out, earning an eye roll from Bea.

  
"In your dreams, Francesca," Allie quips in reply as she's stopped at the door by Maxine who pulls her in for another hug.   
  
  
Bea watches as her friend whispers something into Allie's ear.   
Allie pulls back slightly in the embrace, smiling at Maxine before she leans back in and whispers something in reply, earning an even bigger smile from her friend.   
  
Allie blows Bea a kiss as she steps out onto the pavement outside and out of sight.   
Bea's contemplations are interrupted by Boomer who jams a cupcake into her mouth before attempting to speak.

  
"Oi, she's a keeper, Bea."

  
She smiles proudly as she returns to her client to blow-dry her hair, stopping Maxine with a gentle touch against her forearm as she passes.

  
"Hey, what was that about?"

  
"Wouldn't you like to know," Maxine says coyly.

  
.....

  
It's finally the end of day and Bea has been taking her time tidying her station, purposefully lingering until everyone else had left in an attempt to get Franky alone.   
She didn't like the way Franky had answered her question about her relationship earlier and the tattooed brunette had been unusually quiet all day.   
But when she had applied the finishing touches to her last client, she had left rather quickly, her phone pressed against her ear and a deeply pensive look on her face.

Since Franky had gone, Bea had decided that she would go to the next person that she often found comfort in.  
Something had been playing on her mind and she needed Maxine's perspective.

Maxine had just finished settling the till when Bea cleared her throat nervously.

  
"Hey Maxi? Do you have anywhere to be?"

  
Maxine must recognise that familiar need in Bea's expression because she smiles warmly and gestures to their usual spot at the table by the window.

  
"No love, shall we have a chat?"

  
Bea smiles, a warm, grateful smile splitting her lips.

  
"What's on your mind?"

  
Bea takes a deep, calming breath. She doesn't quite know how to form the words that she wants to express but Maxine can read her like a book.

  
"Is this about Allie?"

  
"Yeah."

  
Maxine smiles sweetly, instantly softening even more.   
  
  
"She's a lovely girl. And she's so infactuated with you."

  
Bea dips her head bashfully, smiling foolishly. "How do you know?"

  
Maxine reaches a warm hand out and grips Bea's forearm tenderly.

  
"Because she told me so."

  
Bea suddenly realises what all of that whispering was about at the front door earlier.

  
"I thanked her for putting that smile on your face and told her not to stop and she told me that she couldn't stop if she tried because of how utterly besotted she is with you."

  
The mixture of Maxine's gentle voice and the sudden affection Bea feels for Allie after hearing this new information, brings tears to Bea's eyes for the second time that day.

  
"God Maxi," she shakes her head as she brings her elbow to the tabletop, resting her fist against her mouth to hide her quivering lip.

  
"I honestly have to pinch myself. This whole thing doesn't feel real. I really don't know why I was so resistant in the beginning.   
She's just so wonderful, so beautiful and kind."  
  
  
Bea has to stop before the sentiment becomes too much, her voice beginning to crack beneath the weight of her words.

  
Maxine beams. "And she's all yours."

  
Bea shakes her head, inhaling sharply through her nostrils, pushing the emotion away.

  
"We haven't made anything official yet. It's only been a week and 2 dates."

  
"But you want to? Make it official that is?" Maxine asks lightly.

  
Bea nods, the kind of nod that resonates through her whole body.   
Her speechless admission seems to surprise even herself.   
She'd spent so much of her time with Allie being shy and focused on her own inexperience.   
Now that she's presented with the question and allows herself the time to think about what she wants, the answer comes easily to her.

  
"That's wonderful honey. I'm so pleased for you, I really am. You deserve the very best and I think Allie is perfect for you."

  
Bea dips her head again, her usual crimson tint painting her cheeks.

  
"Are you seeing her tonight?"

  
"No, tomorrow night. She invited me to her place for dinner."

  
Maxine quirks an eyebrow and for once, Bea recognises the expression.   
She's seen it on Allie and on Franky.

  
"Third date at her place."

  
It's all Maxine says, leaving Bea to assume the rest.

  
"That's actually why I wanted to talk to you... I think that I'm ready... for _more_. With Allie."

  
Bea instantly feels lighter.   
It's as though as soon as she uttered the words and they hit the atmosphere, they took with them the unpleasant mass that had been occupying her insides.   
Maxine's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

  
"Bea, that's wonderful," she says in obvious awe, her voice a mere breathy gasp.

  
She reaches out to touch Bea again, curling her fingers around Bea's hand in support.   
She knows that Bea hasn't come to this decision lightly and the fact that she's even speaking about it is a wonder in itself.

  
"Yeah."

  
Bea struggles to find something else to say, her own admission still sinking into herself.

  
"Well if you need advice on the mechanical side of things, then I think you have the wrong girl. That's probably a conversation that you need to have with Franky."

  
"No, it's not _that_. Besides, Franky will only tease me about it," she says hoarsely, rolling her brown eyes.

  
"What is it?"

  
Bea drops her head a little, eyes focused steadily on her nervous hands clasped together on the tabletop.

  
"I haven't told her."

  
Immediately Maxine understands and she inhales deeply, feeling the substantiality of Bea's implication.   
They're both quiet for what feels like too long and Bea can sense that Maxine is hesitant about her reply.

  
"I hate to be the one to tell you this honey but you _have_ to tell her."   
  
Her voice is warm and smooth and it instantly makes Bea want to cry.  
Maxine can tell because her hands chase Bea's and cover them in an attempt to ground her and convey her support all at once.

  
"I know I do Maxi, but I don't want this to end."

  
Maxine frowns deeply. "What makes you think that it's going to end?"

  
"Because it's _so_ much to take. And she's young and beautiful and she could have anyone she wants so why the fuck would she want to stay with me and all my baggage?"

  
The tears she tried so hard to contain are now rolling down her cheeks with abandon.  
Maxine's own eyes fill with unshed tears at the sight before her, her wonderful friend beaten down and defeated once more.

  
"Bea, she's not going to leave you over that. It's in the past. Once she understands what you survived, she's going to think you're even more incredible than what she already thinks you are."

  
It's a nice sentiment, but the way Bea is feeling she can only believe that it's also a nice fantasy.   
  
She shakes her head firmly but before she can protest, Maxine stops her with an authoritative voice.

  
"Bea, listen to me. That girl clearly thinks the world of you, she's not going anywhere.  
You _need_ to talk to her, the sooner the better."

  
She inhales a long, steadying breath and is suddenly reminded of Allie's confession from last night.   
She had told Bea what Bea understood to be Allie's deepest, darkest secret and she had no reaction.   
She wants to compare their past situations and believe that there could be hope that Allie might be as nonchalant about her past as Bea is about Allie's, but Bea knows there is no comparison.   
The optimist in her wants so badly to believe that there is a glimmer of hope, that Allie will accept her and that none of this has to end.   
But Bea is used to feeling like things inevitably fall apart and as hard as she tries to maintain that glimmer of hope, her internal pessimist fights for dominance.

Bea settles for a nod, knowing that whatever objections she voices, Maxine will shoot them down instantly.   
She's not the affectionate type, certainly not with anybody besides Allie or Debbie, but she lets Maxine pull her into a warm, comforting embrace anyway.

  
.....

  
Bea decides to head straight home after leaving the salon.   
She wants to see Allie and she doesn't want to disappoint her, but her conversation with Maxine had left her exhausted and emotionally drained.   
Once home, she slowly climbs the stairs up to her room where she strips off her leather pants and jacket and flops down onto her bed in nothing but her tshirt and underwear.   
She stretches her arms out into the air above her, phone inbetween her hands, and begins to type a text message.

**Hi Allie, I hope you had a nice time with your Aunty today. Sorry I won't see you at the gym, it's been a long day.  
The girls loved the cupcakes. Thank you again for what you did today, it's the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. X**

  
Bea lets her phone drop carelessly onto the bed beside her, grabbing her pillow and jamming it beneath the curve of her neck and shoulder as she rolls onto her side.   
She contemplates staying there like that for the remainder of the night.  
A while later, her busy mind finally allows her some respite from the noise and panic she inflicts upon herself and she starts to drift off into sleep.   
She doesn't know how long she's out for when she's woken up by her phone ringing beside her.

  
"Hello?" Her voice escapes her mouth even raspier than usual, still groggy from sleep.

  
"Hey beautiful," Allie utters happily.

  
The mere sound of the obvious smile Allie's wearing is enough to encourage the same reaction in Bea.

  
"Hey yourself."

  
"Were you asleep?" She asks in surprise.

  
"Yeah I think so, I must have nodded off."

  
"I think that's my fault, I kept you out late Friday night and last night. Sorry."

  
Bea laughs softly. "It's not your fault, today was pretty draining."

  
Allie pauses and Bea yawns as she stretches her body, arching her back up and enjoying the stretch in her abs.

  
"Did you have a bad day?" Allie asks thoughtfully, an ounce of sympathy in her tone.

  
"No, not bad, just busy. My day got a lot better after your visit."

  
"I knew you'd appreciate me getting you alone in that back room," Allie replies smoothly, bringing a much welcome laugh from Bea.

  
"I haven't stopped thinking about that all day," Allie utters, her voice low and abundant with sensuality.   
The sound does something to Bea's body and she suddenly feels very awake and slightly warmer.

  
"Me either." Bea doesn't mean to, but she responds with a sensuality of her own and she can hear Allie sigh on the other end of the phone.

  
"It's too bad you weren't at the gym, I had grand plans of getting you alone in the locker room."

  
Bea's stomach somersaults. She finds herself squirming with warmth, enjoying their playful interaction.  
The mere idea of what could have happened if she had seen Allie makes her tremble slightly with desire.

  
"Oh yeah? What would you have done?"

  
"You tell me, Bea. You're the one in the driver's seat."

  
Bea wants to indulge but she's so unused to this.   
Despite feeling bolder with Allie recently and acknowledging that she has desires that she acutally wants to act on, she still doesn't feel proficient enough to steer their conversation into not so innocent territory.

She laughs softly because she doesn't know what else to do.

  
"I would have told you that you can take the lead today."

  
Allie laughs in reply and Bea deducts that it's not out of any genuine humour.

  
"Jesus Bea. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now."

  
Another wave of heat breaks against Bea's body and she feels her expression softening with her growing want for Allie.

  
"I really want to kiss you too Allie."

  
She can hear Allie draw in a deep breath before she sighs it out again.

  
"I could be there in 20 minutes."

  
Bea knows that she's only joking but the way she's feeling now, comfortable with her newfound acknowledgement of her own desires, she discovers that the idea is an exciting one.

  
"OK," she says simply.

  
There's a short pause on the other end of the line as Allie's comprehension ruminates.

  
"I was kidding Bea."

  
"I wasn't," Bea says playfully, sitting up on her bed a little.

  
"It would be cruel to tease me right now."

  
Bea smiles wider, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

  
"I'm not teasing. Come over, Allie."

  
Another breathy sigh comes through the phone and it isn't a stretch to imagine that Allie is throwing her head back, feeling heavy beneath the weight of her own desire.

  
"I'm leaving now. I'll see you in 20 minutes babe."

  
As Bea hangs up, she feels her body buzzing with a mix of nerves, excitement and desire.   
She's still trembling lightly, her anticipation turning to adrenaline.

She quickly moves to her walk-in robe and pulls out the nearest pair of pants she can find, a pair of black jeans ripped at the knees, and she decides to have a quick shower to wash off the day.   
Once dried and dressed, she heads downstairs to wait for Allie, pacing the length of the living room a few times.   
It's raining again and the sound makes it difficult to hear Allie's car pulling into her driveway.   
She moves to the fridge, taking a long drink from a bottle of water in an attempt to quench her mouth, dry with her nervousness when she hears four deep knocks at her front door.

Bea inhales deeply, her heart thudding harshly against her ribcage, her head light.   
She pulls back the door with a shaky hand and her eyes fall on Allie's rain-soaked figure.   
She's in the same blue dress and white cardigan from earlier today, her hair slightly wavy from dampness.   
Bea notices that she too is trembling a little but she figures that it's probably just because she's cold.   
Allie's smile fades a little as her eyes move up and down Bea's body with a hint of lust in her expression.

  
"I was going to say something witty but Jesus Bea, you just took my breath away."

  
Bea smiles shyly and reaches out a hand, gripping Allie's lightly as she gently tugs her inside.

  
"Get in here, charmer."

  
As Allie closes the door behind her, shutting out the noise of the rain, Bea becomes very aware of the fact that they're alone.   
She feels herself standing motionless, at an utter loss at what to do next.   
Allie just stands there, smiling softly, her crystal blue eyes darting between Bea's in an effort to read her.   
Bea is nervous and when she gets nervous she giggles.   
This occasion is no exception.   
She feels the blush inevitably creep up her chest, fanning out onto her cheeks and she brings up her free hand and presses her fingertips to the edge of her mouth to cover her shy smile.

  
"Sorry," she whispers between laughter.

  
Allie just smiles wider and traces a thumb over the back of Bea's hand.

  
"Do you want me to take the lead? Just for a minute?" Allie asks in little more than a whisper.

  
Bea's smile fades a little and she finds herself nodding.   
Allie takes little time to move closer, dropping her handbag against the floor with a light thud, never taking her eyes off Bea's.   
She brings her other hand up to cradle Bea's jawline, seemingly her palm's favourite place on Bea's body.  
Her thumb gently brushes Bea's warm skin, her eyes soft and hooded with affection.   
It's as if she's taking her time, basking in all of the sensations, committing it all to her memory.   
They've kissed a handful of times already, but this one feels different, heavier somehow, as if it's an assurance of what's to come.   
Bea's eyelids close as Allie presses her lips to Bea's so softly, she wonders for a moment whether she's even there.   
Bea releases the breath she didn't know she was holding and she feels as though she's melting into Allie's touch.

She opens her mouth to let Allie in, letting her tongue slowly run the length of Allie's bottom lip.   
She feels her stomach burst with warmth that spreads through her body when a beautifully soft whimper catches in Allie's throat.   
Desire overtakes Allie and her kiss becomes hungrier, more purposeful as she leans into a different angle and works her tongue into Bea's mouth.   
It's more than Bea had expected, she doubts she could have ever imagined being kissed as tenderly as this.   
She works her hand free from Allie's and brings both of her hands to Allie's hips, enjoying the soft moan the blonde breathes into her mouth.   
She winds her arms around Bea's waist, pulling her a little closer.   
After a while, Allie pulls away, panting lightly, eyes dark with desire before she takes Bea's earlobe between her lips and sucks gently.   
Bea can't help but moan and the sound takes her by surprise. Never in her life had she imagined that something could feel so good.

  
"Stop me if it gets too much for you," Allie breathes into her ear.

  
Stop?  
It doesn't even enter Bea's mind as a possibility. Her curiosity for this kind of pleasure is new but not at all intimidating.   
She simply gasps as Allie moves her mouth down to Bea's neck, bringing her fingertips up to stroke at the soft skin at her throat, uring Bea's head to fall back and accept the pleasure she wants to plant there.   
Bea grips her hips a little tighter and Allie rolls them into her pelvis in reply.   
Bea's legs are weak and they feel like they want to give out from beneath her.

  
"Can we sit down?" She asks between gasps.

  
"We can do anything you want Bea," Allie breathes against her neck.

   
Its such a simple thing to say but the implication behind it fills Bea with a kind of sexual empowerment.   
The thought that she has the power to control the outcome is such a liberating one.

_Anything she wants._

Allie's words ignite a hunger within Bea and she moves her hands to Allie's face and pulls her up onto her ready mouth, the blonde gasping as Bea licks purposefully into her mouth.   
Allie holds her waist and gently guides her to the nearby lounge, their mouths on each other's the entire time.   
When Bea feels the lounge against the back of her legs she lowers down, pulling Allie with her.   
She pulls away for a moment and Bea feels as though her lips are in mourning.   
It's shortlived when Allie smiles warmly, gazing at her with a look so adoring she could almost cry.

  
"Can I?"

  
Allie asks in a whisper and gestures to Bea's lap.   
Bea doesn't quite know what she means but she agrees anyway, nervously anticipating what's to come.

Bea is helpless against her open mouthed gasp as Allie climbs onto her lap and straddles her.

  
"Is this OK?" Allie asks softly as she settles over Bea, her warm hands resting lightly against Bea's shoulders.

  
"Yes."

  
Bea has never been in this position before.   
She feels as though Allie is all around her and all over her, totally encompassing her.   
She enjoys the feeling of Allie's warm body on hers, thighs pressing against her own, her most intimate parts within touching distance right there in her very own lap.   
The thought awakens a gentle pulse between Bea's legs and she's so distracted by it she almost loses herself to the back spaces of her mind.   
Allie brings her back with a gentle swipe of the back of her hand against Bea's cheek.   
Bea winds an arm behind Allie's lower back and she arches into the touch, pressing her body even closer.   
Suddenly Allie's hunger drives another passionate kiss and its not as gentle this time.   
Bea's body has never been so lit with passion before, every touch and every heavily released breath pushing her further into arousal.   
Her other hand rests softly against Allie's knee and the blonde tears herself away to swallow a groan.

  
"You have no idea how long I've wanted you like this," Allie sighs, resting her forehead against Bea's.

  
"To touch you, to have you touch me..."

  
Something inside Bea takes Allie's breathy words as a dare and she slides her hand ever so slowly up Allie's thigh.  
Her bare skin is soft and so warm beneath her hand.   
Allie watches her hand with lust in her features, her chest visibly rising and falling with her laboured breath.   
When Bea stops just shy of the hemline of her dress which has bunched around the top of her thighs, Allie meets her gaze and brings their lips together heatedly.   
When they eventually part and Bea peels her eyelids back, she sees Allie slowly shrug off her cardigan, gazing at her with a smouldering sensuality that makes Bea swallow hard.   
Her cheeks instantly flush harder and she can feel the pulse in her underwear intensify.

  
"Are you OK?" Allie whispers as her top falls to the floor with a soft thud.   
  
  
She brings her hands up to Bea's face again and the redhead simply turns into one of her hands and presses a lingering kiss into her palm.

  
"You're so beautiful," Bea whispers in reply.

  
Allie smiles, swiping her thumbs against Bea's cheeks, searching her eyes for any sign of hesitation before she kisses her again with pure tenderness.  
Bea is so lost in their embrace that at first she doesn't feel Allie's right hand move down her neck, fingertips tracing lines across her collarbone and down her chest until she feels Allie's warm palm cup her breast through her clothing.   
Bea gasps against Allie's mouth and the blonde breaks their kiss instantly, hanging her hand in mid-air.

  
"Sorry."

  
Bea sees the obvious regret in Allie's expression, the blonde clearly thinking she'd gone too far.

  
"I liked it. Don't stop."

  
And with that, Allie presses her lips back onto Bea's and her hand finds her breast once more.   
Bea can feel her nipples hardening beneath her touch, a reaction she marvels at.   
She grips both of her hands around Allie's thighs as they kiss hungrily.  
Bea feels herself trembling again when she realises Allie's hands have disappeared from her body and her mind is suddenly noisy with possibilty.   
She pulls away to draw in a breath and she sees Allie's fingers before her eyes, working her own buttons on the front of her dress.   
Her head becomes light and she feels like she could pass out from arousal.

She can only watch on as Allie gets to the fourth button, the one directly beneath the line of her bra when she stops unbottoning.   
She moves her fingertips to separate the fabric against her skin when Bea presses her hands against Allie's, effectively halting her in her movements.  
Allie searches Bea's eyes, looking for the hesitation that she thinks is there.  
Bea leans in slowly, pressing her lips to Allie's throat. She enjoys the moan the blonde rewards her with as she grips her hands at the back of Bea's neck.   
She moves her lips torturously slowly across Allie's heated skin, tracing lightly down to her chest when she pulls back and pushes her dress away from Allie's cleavage.   
Bea likens the experience to a gift for her own opening as she eyes Allie's pink lacy bra and the line where her breasts meet and she can't help but press a kiss there.

  
"Ohh Bea."

  
Allie angles Bea's head up to press a passionate kiss against her lips as Bea finally closes a gentle hand against Allie's breast.  
Bea matches Allie's moan, her stomach a fiery pit of desire.   
She can't believe how good this feels, how Allie's pleasure brings her the same.  
They kiss for so long like this, gently touching one another, breathing harshly against each other's mouths, Allie writhing over Bea's legs and hips until suddenly she pulls back.   
Bea tries to chase her mouth, desperate to feel more but Allie only smiles, devouring her with her crystal eyes.   
Allie leans back slightly on her lap, bringing her hands behind her. It takes a moment for Bea to realise what she's doing but when she does, her stomach flips on itself.

  
"Is this alright?"

  
Bea can only nod, transfixed by the notion that Allie is about to remove her bra.  
She can't quite believe that she's about to see Allie's chest in it's naked form.   
Although it's not for the first time, she finds herself eager to touch this time, her thoughts having been consumed by Allie's perfect breasts ever since she first had the good fortune of seeing them.   
  
The moment is suddenly broken by 3 sharp knocks at the front door.

Bea jumps slightly and Allie quickly brings her hands to the front of her dress to rebutton it.   
She grins as she climbs off Bea's lap and places a quick kiss against her cheek as she settles closely beside her.

  
"Someone has shitty timing," she utters, amused as Bea throws her head back against the back of the lounge in frustration.

  
"Sorry," she rasps, rising slowly, suddenly aware of the heaviness in her legs.  
"I'll get rid of whoever the hell it is."

  
"Hurry back," Allie says smoothly, pulling the hem of her dress down her legs.

  
Bea is aware of what she must look like, deeply flushed and slightly dishevelled.   
She pulls the door back, about to give whoever is on the other side a piece of her aggravated mind when her eyes settle on Franky.   
Her clothes and hair are soaked from the heavy rain, she's shivering and there's a deep crease between her troubled brows.

Bea feels her scowl soften as she notices a heavy laden duffle bag over her shoulder.

  
"Franky, what's wrong?"

  
The sympathy in her voice forces Franky's bottom lip to quiver.   
Bea frowns at the sight, the obvious hurt in her friend almost earns the same reaction in herself.   
When Allie moves beside Bea, resting a gentle hand against her lower back, concern abundant in her expression, Franky quickly composes herself, eyes darting between Bea and Allie before realisation hits her.

  
"Fuck, sorry, I'm interrupting something, aren't I?"

  
Allie shakes her head, surveying Franky carefully, wearing the same concerned expression as Bea.

  
"No, it's ok," Allie utters, looking at Bea for guidance.

  
"Franky, tell me what happened?" She asks again.

  
Franky inhales sharply, releasing her breath as quickly as she breathes it in.

  
"I was wondering if I could crash on your couch tonight.... Me and Gidge ... we're done."  
  
  
-  
  


 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea has an unexpected house guest and later,   
> Bea goes to Allie's house for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy hump day guys!
> 
> I hope you enjoy your hump day treat from me :)

  
It's a _long_ night.

Allie had left soon after Bea had invited Franky inside, wanting to give the pair space and privacy.   
Bea was disappointed, but with what had transpired between them, the last thing she wanted was to boast her new affectionate relationship in front of Franky.

Franky didn't want to talk about what had happened with Bridget.   
Bea had tried to provide support and an open ear, but she assumed the wounds were still far too fresh for her friend, who stated that she simply wanted to go to bed.

Bea offered Franky Debbie's room, her daughter wouldn't be back from her trip for another 3 months and a closed door offers much more privacy than an open living room.   
  
Despite the fact Debbie's room is at the other end of the hall to Bea's room, Bea still manages to overhear every harshly spoken word that Franky growls down the phone at Bridget.  
She tries her hardest not to as she lays in bed, wrapping her pillow around her ears in an attempt to block it all out.   
But her house is otherwise quiet and Franky's yelling is just so loud.

Bea exhales deeply as she glances up at her alarm clock. 11.55.  
She reaches over to her bedside table to grab at her phone, realising she had forgotten to check if Allie had made it home OK.   
Sure enough, there's a message waiting for her.  
  


**I'm home safe babe. I hope things with Franky r OK :(**   
**Give her a cuddle frm me. I'm guessing its gunna b a late 1 4u but I hope u 2 manage 2 get some sleep.**   
**Thank u soooo much 4 tonight, I loved every minute of it :)**   
**U really r something else Bea.**   
**I can't wait to see u tomor night :)**   
**Sweet dreams beautiful xxxxxxxxxxxx**

  
Bea smiles widely as she re-reads Allie message over and over.   
She's aware of what she had told Franky only yesterday, that she wasn't ready for anything sexual with Allie.   
But after their second date and _finally_ finding the courage to give into all of those wonderful sensations that she had resisted so vehemently in the beginning, Bea can't deny what she had felt for Allie in the heat of the moment earlier.   
  
If Franky hadn't have showed up on her doorstep, defeated and broken, she dares to wonder where things might have led them.   
  
Bea knows she needs to be honest with Allie and tell her about her painful past but for the first time in her life, she finds herself gifted with pleasure moments and benevolence and she doesn't think its selfish of her to enjoy it all.

Given the hour, Bea doesn't expect a reply but she types a message anyway.

  
**Hi beautiful girl.  
I'm sorry we had to cut things short but I'm grateful you came over. **   
**Franky doesn't want to talk about things just yet. I think it will be a late one, she's screaming down the phone at the moment.**   
**I'm looking forward to tomorrow night too. Can I bring anything?**   
**Good night Allie xx**

  
She places her phone down against her bedside table, stilling for a moment as her ears search for sounds.   
Franky seems to have finally settled and she sighs a long, deep breath into the darkness as she rolls over and relaxes deeply into her mattress.   
  
Her mind traces back to earlier, remembering Allie's hands on her body, her lips on her mouth, the feel of Allie's hot skin beneath her hands.   
She smiles to herself, enjoying the heat that fills her body again.   
Before she has time to truly indulge in it, her phone vibrates on her table, shaking her from her lust-filled haze.

**Babe ur still awake :) :)**   
**Don't bring anything tomor nite xcept ur flawless self!**   
**And don't be sorry about 2nite, I feel so honoured that I got 2 feel u like that.**   
**U drive me crazy Bea, I wish u knew how much.**   
**I wish I was still there with u, holding u close, touching ur beautifully blushing skin ;)**

  
Bea smiles widely, giggling to herself like some dumb teenager, writhing her limbs against her sheets. She's feeling particularly bold after their encounter tonight so she replies instantly before her bravado disappears.

  
**I really want that too. My bed does seem bigger and more lonely tonight.**  
  
  
She doesn't have to wait long until the reply comes through.

  
**God Bea. Behave or I'll be forced 2 drive back over there ;)**

  
**Don't tease Allie.**

  
**Sorry babe, I don't mean 2, I can't seem 2 help myself around u :)**   
**I can't stop thinking about the way u touched me**

  
Bea may be alone, but she still blushes.   
Not out of any embarrassment this time, it's out of her growing desire for Allie.

  
**You did seem to like it**

  
**  
I really did :) it was way more than I expected. Did u like me touching u?**

  
  
Bea feels a tingle of nervousness low in her stomach.   
She wishes she could express how much she enjoyed Allie's touch, but she's never been one for words.

**  
Yes. You make me feel good, better than I ever thought I could feel.**

  
Just as she presses send, she can hear Franky's voice again, lower this time and coarse from yelling.   
She can't make out the words, not that she's trying to, but she's relieved Franky seems to be calming somewhat.

**  
That's all I ever want 2 do babe :) As much as I don't want this 2 end yet, it's after midnight n I'm falling asleep.  
** **I can't wait 2 see u, altho I'd much prefer u were laying here beside me ;)**   
**Good night Bea, sweet dreams babe xxxxxxxxx**

  
**  
Good night beautiful girl xxx**

  
Bea places her phone down on her bedside table but her smile remains on her lips well after she's closed her eyes, her mind full of blue eyes and blonde hair and a certain lacy pink bra.

  
.....

  
Bea sits at her island bench in her kitchen early the next morning, enjoying her breakfast in the silence that she had so craved the previous night.   
She was woken constantly through the night by Franky, her constant pacing around Debbie's room and her loud voice carried through the house as she argued with Bridget over the phone.  
Bea isn't sure what time things finally settled but her eyes feel heavy and almost bruised from lack of sleep.  
As she sips her coffee, extra strong today, she hears Franky's heavy footsteps as she thuds down the stairs.   
She looks slightly less weary than Bea but she can tell that the night has taken a toll on her tattooed friend.

  
"Morning Red," she rasps as she slides onto the stool beside Bea.

  
"Morning. Did you get much sleep?"

  
"Yeah, slept like a fuckin baby," she utters but Bea knows her playful smile and accompanying wink are all a facade. "Thanks for letting me crash here."

  
Bea smiles warmly before she moves to the opposite side of the kitchen to make Franky a cup of coffee.

  
"You're welcome to stay as long as you need to. Deb's not back for a few months yet."

  
"Thanks. I might take ya up on that, just until I sort some shit out."

  
Bea places a mug in front of Franky and settles back on her stool. She survey's her friend's expression carefully.

  
"Do you want to talk about-"

  
Franky cuts her off with a softly uttered no.

  
Bea just nods her head in compliance as an uncomfortable silence falls upon them.   
Franky, obviously eager to shift the mood that suddenly makes the air around them feel heavy, glances at Bea coyly.

  
"So Red, what the fuck did I interrupt last night?"

  
Bea tries to appear as nonchalant as she can, but the tiny smile that pulls at her lips betrays her.

  
"Nothing."

  
"Bullshit. I could tell you were up to something, Blondie's top was on the floor and you looked like you had blue balls."

  
Bea just shakes her head, eyes firmly locked on the mug between her hands.

  
"Red, come on. Just because my relationship is fucked, doesn't mean I can't be happy for you and yours."

  
It doesn't take much for Bea to relent because she's just _so_ eager to share.   
She inhales deeply, trying to tame her irregular heartbeat that has quickened at the mere thought of what happened the previous night.

  
"One minute we were talking on the phone and... I dunno, the things she was saying to me, the way I felt... I just told her to come over."

  
Franky quirks an eyebrow suggestively.

  
"Booty call, hey Red?"

  
Bea smirks. "Nah, it wasn't like that. But honestly? I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't have shown up."

  
"Thought you weren't ready to get your fuck on just yet?"

  
"That's just it, I thought I wasn't ready. But the more I see her and the more she touches me, the more I feel like I want to."

  
Franky can't control the wicked grin that overtakes her mouth.

  
"Fuck. You're gonna pop your lady love cherry," she exclaims with a laugh and Bea can't help but do the same.

  
"Are you sure you want me around cramping your style? I don't wanna cock block ya again."

  
"It's fine, really Franky. You're welcome to stay, I really mean that."

  
Franky's expression softens a little and she nods her thanks.

  
"So when are you seeing Blondie again?"

  
"Tonight. I'm going to her place for dinner," Bea says through a mouthful of cereal.

  
Franky raises her eyebrow again. "So tonight's the big night, ya reckon?"

  
Bea's heart skips a beat as she remembers her dilemma, forcing her smile from her lips.

  
"I don't know..... she still doesn't know about everything yet."

  
She says it quietly, knowing what kind of reaction her admission will draw from her friend.

  
Franky frowns. "You need to tell h-"

  
"I know," Bea says firmly. "And I will."

  
"When?" Franky demands. Their exchange begins to sound more like an argument than a conversation.

  
"Tonight... I'll tell her tonight."

  
Franky seems to accept her answer, her expression softening from a scowl into something less intense.   
She nods as if to convey her approval.

Bea doesn't know if she actually will tell Allie the truth about her past just yet, but she needed to say something to keep Franky off her back.   
She doesn't have the energy for the inevitable argument that would surely ensue if she told Franky about her reservations.   
Especially since they're going to be living under the same roof for God knows how long, she doesn't want that tension between them.

Bea stands, collecting her bowl and mug before depositing them in the sink.

  
"I'm gonna head off. I take it you're not coming in today?"

  
Franky shakes her head as she swallows a mouthful of coffee. "Nah, I told Maxi I've got a virus, please don't say anything about me and Gidge."

  
"Of course I won't. The spare keys are in the top drawer of the hall table. Make yourself at home, help yourself to the fridge.   
I'll probably go straight to Allie's after work so I'll see you late tonight if you're still up... unless you want me to come straight home and keep you company?"

  
Franky shakes her head and smiles. "Thanks Red, I'll be right. Have fun with your girl."

  
.....

  
It's a busy day at the salon, the women having to work extra hard to cover Franky's clients as well as their own.  
Before Bea knows it, it's the end of the day and her whole body feels spent.   
Coupled with her lack of sleep, there's a part of her that wishes she was going home to bed.   
  
But she's not, she's going to Allie's house and that excites her enough to coerce her body to run on pure nervous adrenaline.

Bea quickly jumps into her car, slamming her door in an effort to shut out the rain that decided to come in a downpour just as she stepped out of the salon.  
She pulls her phone out of her bag, remembering she hadn't had the chance to check it all day, when she sees a message from Allie waiting for her, sent roughly an hour ago.

**  
Hi beautiful, I hope ur having a good day :) I'm home now so come over whenever u want.**   
**Can't wait 2 see u :)**

  
Allie's address is at the end of her message. Bea checks the time before making an implusive decision to make a stop before she heads to Allie's.

  
.....

  
Bea inhales a deep breath as she approaches Allie's doorstep, knocking her knuckles against the timber door.   
She doesn't have to wait long until Allie pulls the door back, her angelic face lighting up at the sight of Bea.

  
"Well hi there," she says, smiling brightly.

  
"Hi," Bea giggles, feeling substantially less shy than she has done at the beginning of all of their previous encounters.

  
She watches Allie's eyes trace down her body then up again. "You look gorgeous, as always."

  
Bea smirks shyly. She's wearing her typical black work attire and the upper half of her hair is pulled back and she certainly doesn't consider herself to be gorgeous in her current state.   
She thinks Allie looks stunning in her plain white business shirt and black pencil skirt which Bea assumes to be her own work uniform.

  
"Stop," she utters bashfully with a roll of her eyes.   
  
She holds out the bunch of assorted flowers she had decided to stop and pick up from the florist on her way to Allie's.

The blonde's smile inevitably widens as she takes the bouquet, gesturing with her head for Bea to enter. "You're _so_ sweet, thank you."  
  
She has just enough time to shut the door behind her when Allie leans in closer and kisses her softly.   
It's innocent and there's no tongues involved but it still sends a flutter to Bea's stomach.

  
"Come in," she says when they eventually part, beaming as she takes Bea's hand and leads her through a small living room and into an adjoining kitchen and dining area.  
There's a definite beach theme to Allie's decor and it makes Bea smile to be invited into a space that is all Allie.

  
"How was work today?" Allie asks casually as she retrieves a vase from beneath the sink and fills it with water.   
  
  
Bea finds herself distracted as she glances at the dining table to her right.   
It's already perfectly set for two and there's a line of unlit pillar and tealight candles down the centre of the table and a small shallow vase with short-stemmed pink roses inside.   
She can tell that Allie has clearly put a lot of thought and effort into it and the gesture makes Bea's chest expand with warmth and affection.

  
"Busy," she eventually answers, bought back to the moment by the sound of Allie discarding the plastic wrapping from the bouquet into the bin.

  
"Franky stayed home today so we all covered her clients for her."

  
"How is she?"

  
Bea sighs. "I don't really know. She's not talking about it, but I could overhear her arguing with Bridget over the phone for most of the night."

  
Allie makes an awkward face as she moves from behind the bench but her expression quickly softens when her arms slip around Bea's waist.

  
"I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep last night, hmm?" she utters before she presses a soft kiss to Bea's cheek.   
Her voice is low and slightly sympathetic and Bea responds to it immediately, her skin growing slightly warmer.

  
"Not really."

  
Bea grins wildly at the ease of their affection. She's amazed that they have managed to reach this point of comfort with one another so quickly.

  
"Neither did I," Allie admits coyly.  
"I couldn't stop thinking about you. Those were some quality messages you sent me."

  
Bea feels a blush begin to invade her features.

  
"You started it," she utters in a low tone.   
  
This kind of playfullness is out of character for her but there's something about their interaction tonight that feels different.

  
Allie raises an eyebrow and giggles and whether she means to or not, she's looking at Bea so suggestively that she can't help but feel her pulse begin to race.

  
"Actually I think _you_ started it. You're the one who begged me to come over."

  
Bea tries to lower her head to hide the intensity of her smile but they're so close to one another that mechanically it doesn't work.   
She's enjoying their playful exchange so much that she impulsively decides to lean up into Allie's lips and reward her with a torturously soft kiss.

  
"You didn't complain."

  
Allie gently bites her bottom lip at Bea's huskily spoken words, her luminous eyes focused on Bea's lips as if she's silently begging for more.

  
"And I never will."

  
She leans back in and traces her lips softly over Bea's as if they have nothing but time for this kind of slow, romantic dalliance.   
Then, with a gentle groan that comes from somewhere low in Bea's throat, their kiss suddenly becomes hungrier and Allie's tongue slips into Bea's mouth.

Bea could keep this up for as long as the air in her lungs would let her but they're interrupted by the sound of the oven timer chiming from the kitchen.

Allie reluctantly pulls back, a soft pout across her reddening lips.

  
"Apparently my own oven has shitty timing too. Do you think it's related to Franky?"

  
Bea laughs hard as Allie manages to pull herself away from the redhead and moves to the oven, donning a pair of thick oven mitts.   
As she bends to open the oven door, Bea surprises herself when her eyes fall to Allie's backside before she catches a delicious smell that begins to travel through the room.

  
"What are you making?"

  
"Roast dinner."

  
As Bea approaches she can see Allie turning numerous vegetables with a pair of tongs before she places the deep pan back into the oven.

  
"Allie, you've gone to so much trouble. You shouldn't have," Bea utters, trying to surpress the obvious emotion in her voice.

  
"It's no trouble at all, I finished work way earlier than usual so I've had plenty of time. Can I get you a glass of wine while we wait for dinner to finish cooking?"

  
Bea agrees and they take their glasses into the living room and sit closely beside one another, discussing their respective days and the whole Franky situation before dinner is ready. Bea goes to the bathroom while Allie serves.

  
She examines herself in the bathroom mirror as she washes her hands. She can see the dark circles around her eyes that she had attempted to hide beneath her makeup but despite this, she's truly content with what she sees for the first time in far too long.   
Bea knows Allie is an integral part in this, and she ventures the idea that maybe Allie's kind words and romantic sentiments are beginning to erase some of the mental scars that Harry had inflicted upon her.   
It's the first time in a few days that she's actually thought of him and that in itself is a monumental achievement.

  
As she flicks the bathroom light off and turns into the short hallway, she notices that its darker than it had been before she went into the bathroom.   
As she reaches the end of the hallway, she sees a low orange glow and watches as Allie lights the last candle on the table before she glances up at her, smiling sweetly.

  
"Dinner is served, my lady."

  
She's _so_ beautiful in the warm, delicately swaying light, leaning her hip against the back of Bea's chair in a manner that makes Bea crave her in ways that are still fairly new to her.   
She opens the chair and beckons Bea with a wiggle of her index finger and its only then that Bea realises that she's been glued motionless to the spot.

  
She obliges and slips into the chair as Allie tucks it in for her and then sinks down onto her own chair on the opposite side of the table.   
  
Bea reaches a hand across the table, closing a gentle grip around Allie's fingers.   
Her blue eyes dart up from her plate to meet Bea's, filled with unspoken questions.

  
"Thank you. This is... wonderful. It means a lot to me."

  
Allie smiles softly.

  
" _You're_ wonderful Bea. And you mean a lot to me."

  
A part of Bea wants to leap up and take Allie into her arms and really show her the gratitude and affection she's feeling but she manages to restrain herself.

  
"Now if you're a good girl and eat your dinner you can have dessert," Allie jests.

  
Bea does as she's told and finishes her dinner because it's just that good.   
She hadn't had a good home-cooked meal like that since Maxine had last had her over soon after Debbie had left.

After a little more wine and conversation while they waited for their food to digest, they eventually have Allie's home-made apple pie for dessert.   
  
If Bea wasn't attracted to Allie already, she's sure this evening's meal alone would have changed that.

With the dishes done and the kitchen clean, they agree to spend the rest of their evening together watching a movie of Bea's choosing.   
While Allie is in the bathroom, Bea is sat in the middle of Allie's long lounge, flicking through the list of movies on the screen with heavy eyes.   
  
With a full stomach and 2 glasses of wine down, she's really starting to feel the effects of last night's lack of sleep.   
She selects a movie title that she recognises and settles back into the lounge, bringing her legs up beneath her to get really comfortable while she waits for Allie.

  
Bea is suddenly confused.   
Everything is black. Her awareness of things is slowly coming back to her.   
She can hear the TV in the backround and there's a warm, solid body beside her.   
She feels warm all over, as though there is a blanket around her.

  
Shit.

  
Bea opens her eyelids with a deep inhalation.   
She doesn't know how long she's been asleep for or how she even managed to, but when she wakes, she sees Allie sitting closely beside her and a soft white blanket over both of their bodies.   
Allie snaps her glance from the TV down to Bea as she realises she's waking up, Bea lifting her heavy head off Allie's shoulder.

  
"Shit, I'm so sorry," Bea rasps.

  
Allie smiles gently. "Don't be. You've had a long day and an even longer night before that."

  
"Yeah but still."

  
Allie works her arm through the narrow space between the back of the lounge and Bea's body, still limp from slumber, and gently pulls her closer.

  
"It's fine Bea, honestly. Besides, you look adorable when you're sleeping."

  
Bea allows herself to smile and gives into the intimacy of their position, wrapping both arms around Allie's body and resting against her side as Allie presses a gentle kiss onto the crown of her head.

  
"If you're too tired to drive home you can always stay here tonight," Allie offers, tracing a finger against the warm skin of Bea's forearm that's draped over Allie's stomach.

  
It's an innocent offer but the mere idea of it causes Bea's body to warm.

  
"Franky would never let up if I didn't come home," she rasps with a roll of her eyes.

  
Allie laughs softly and plants another kiss on the top of Bea's head.

  
"You leave Francesca to me."

  
Bea laughs as she lifts her head from Allie's shoulder, the blonde quick to kiss her still smiling lips.

  
"Are you sure I can't convince you? I mean it's raining again and it's dark and I'm going to worry about you."

  
Bea is moved by the flash of child-like insecurity in Allie's demeanour as she brings a hand up to tuck a stray section of blonde hair back behind her ear.

  
"Don't worry, I'll be extra careful." She punctuates her words with a brief but gentle kiss.

  
As she pulls back and gazes into Allie's eyes, she notices a slight change in her expression, as if she's holding something inside that she isn't capable of verbalising.

  
Bea doesn't exactly know why but she pulls her arm out from behind Allie's back and uses it for leverage as she shifts herself against the lounge so she's sitting straighter and slightly closer.   
She turns her body a little then takes Allie's soft face in her hands and kisses her carefully.   
The answer comes to her when Allie turns her entire body into her direction and she realises that it's an attempt to comfort Allie where words fail her.   
It's worked, if Allie's warm smile is anything to go by.

  
"I wanted to talk to you about something," Allie says softly.

  
Bea didn't know that her body could react so violently to so few words.   
Her mind suddenly races, her palms quickly become sweaty. She wonders if Allie is finally going to interrogate her about her past.  
  


"It's nothing bad," Allie quickly adds, obviously sensing the suddent change in Bea's body.

  
"OK."

  
They're face to face now as Allie exhales deeply and takes both of her hands within her own and gazes at them as she organises her thoughts.  
It feels like a long time for Bea but she waits patiently, hoping for the best but mildly expecting the worst.   
The only other time she's seen Allie this void of her usual confidence is when she had told Bea about her past so Bea knows that whatever she has to say must be significant.

  
"Well you know that I like you... a lot. And I _think_ you like me back..."

Bea smiles warily but she stops herself when she feels Allie's hands slightly shaking in hers.

  
"I do... I _really_ do, Allie."

  
Bea's few words manage to make Allie smile a little.

  
"I love spending time with you and I still can't believe that I'm lucky enough to get to touch you like this."

  
Bea begins to shake the horrible feeling of dread that her former self had forced her to believe was an appropriate reaction.   
She listens intently, watching every tiny movement Allie makes and gently traces patterns with her thumbs against Allie's hands.

  
"I don't know where you're at with everything between us and I'm still happy to go as slow as you want but I wanted to let you know that for me, there's no one else right now."

  
There's a gentle tingle at the base of Bea's stomach and she can almost hear her pulse in her ears.   
She's full of so much anticipation she feels as though she could just about pass out.

  
"So... I was wondering if you'd maybe like to make this official?"

  
It takes Bea a moment to truly understand what she's alluding to and she doesn't mean to make Allie wait for a response.

  
"You mean that you want to be my girlfriend?"

  
Allie nods and Bea witnesses a very rare moment of shyness that she's in awe of and moved by.

  
"More than anything."

  
Bea smiles widely at the gravity of Allie's words and it really doesn't take her much thought, if any, before she replies.

  
"If you're really sure then yes, I'd love to be your girlfriend."

  
Bea has barely uttered the words before an enormous smile splits Allie's lips.   
She pulls Bea into a hug, the kind that urges her to feel all of the nerves and anticipation and affection and Bea feels as though she melts into Allie's embrace.  
Allie buries her face into the curve of Bea's neck, simply holding her this way for a long time.   
Its only when Allie finally pulls away that Bea can see why she'd held her for so long as Allie quickly presses the pad of her fingertip into the corner of her eye to collect the remnants of an unshed tear.

  
"You have no idea what this means to me babe."

  
Bea thinks she does know. She can see the smile that Allie's wearing, bigger and brighter than any other smile that she's worn yet and her expression is a beautiful mix of relief and adoration.   
She's helpless against her sudden urge to touch her.  
She brings her hands up to cradle Allie's face, enjoying the lingering eye contact they give one another.   
She didn't think it was possible, but suddenly Allie seems even more beautiful to her now.

  
"Show me," Bea says, feeling unusually bold.

  
Allie takes little time to respond, kissing her with a delicious slowness that makes Bea sigh softly into her mouth.   
It's soft and gentle at first and for so long, until Allie eventually moves a hand from behind Bea's neck, trailing a feather light touch down her neck and chest, stopping when her fingertips are halted by the top button of Bea's shirt.   
Bea is wildly aware of how Allie must be able to feel her chest rising and falling with her rapid heartbeat and how her skin is scorching with desire.

  
"Can I?" Allie whispers against her lips.

  
Bea doesn't entirely know what she's agreeing to but she nods anyway, the intimacy of their new label seducing her into new levels of acquiescence.   
Allie's fingers work Bea's top button and her index finger slips inside, tracing a pattern against the swell of her left breast over her heart.   
Bea feels her body break out into goosebumps and she groans against Allie's lips.   
The sound seems to escalate Allie's need for her and before Bea knows it, her top three buttons are undone and Allie's mouth is hot against her chest, her hands cupping both of Bea's breasts through her shirt.

Bea can't help but moan.   
She feels like she's falling beneath the weight of her desire before she feels Allie's arm wrap around her, effectively catching her and bringing her dizzy head back down to Earth.

  
"Is this alright?"

  
Bea licks her lips, her mouth dry from her harsh, rapid breathing. "Yes."

  
She winds her fingers through blonde locks, urging her mouth to linger there.

  
"Would it be too much if I laid you down?"

  
_Oh God_.   
  
Bea's stomach twists and contorts and throws a jolt of heat through her limbs.   
She opens her mouth to reply but nothing comes out but more shuddering breaths as Allie's tongue gently flicks against her skin.

  
"Please," Bea sighs heatedly when she finally manages to gather herself as Allie's hot wet mouth finds hers again.

  
With little hesitation, Allie reaches an arm behind herself and pulls out a cushion and in one swift move, places it behind Bea then untangles their bodies from the blanket that she discards onto the floor.   
Their mouths never part for a second, Allie whimpering into Bea's mouth when she carefully lays her down, her head resting perfectly against the cushion.   
  
Bea hitches her knees and parts her legs and Allie settles carefully between them, sighing heatedly at the contact.   
The sound and the position do something to Bea and she feels a gentle flutter between her legs.  
She feels as though her body could combust with the heat she feels coursing through her veins. Allie's body is so warm against hers and her hands and lips seem to be everywhere.

Allie takes her time working her way along Bea's body, pressing kisses everywhere she can reach, through clothing and against heated skin.   
She reaches Bea's chest and she opens her shirt a little to kiss between her breasts then she moves her mouth to Bea's neck.   
Bea realises she _loves_ it when Allie kisses her there.   
Her body writhes beneath Allie's and she moans helplessly, gripping onto Allie's upper arm just to feel grounded.

  
"God Bea," Allie whispers into her ear before she gently rakes her teeth against Bea's ear lobe.   
  
"You're so sexy."

  
Her mouth finds Bea's neck again and she kisses and sucks and flicks her tongue against the skin there, clearly revelling in Bea's whimpers and harsh exhalations.

  
"Jesus Allie," she groans, eyes clamped shut tightly to truly feel it all.

  
Allie's mouth finds Bea's lips again and she can feel the blonde smiling a little before Bea licks into her mouth, gliding her tongue hotly against Allie's.  
  
Bea needs to touch her.   
  
She moves a hand up and presses her palm against Allie's breast.   
Allie is laying heavily on top of her so she really has to work to get her hand between their bodies but when Allie leaves a high pitched whimper against her lips she quietly applauds herself for the extra effort.   
Allie sits up a little then and Bea is about to protest until she sees Allie, flushed and wonderfully dishevelled undoing the buttons on her own shirt.   
By the time Bea's body has a chance to respond, filling her limbs and core with a violent tingling, Allie has already peeled her shirt away from her body and let it fall to the floor.   
Bea feels her mouth gape as she takes in the vision of Allie in a white lacy bra, similar to the pink one she was so fortunate to get a peek of last night.   
She doesn't know how long she lays there staring at Allie for, her limbs filled with a heat that seems to paralyse her for a moment.   
When she finally recovers, she can't help but pull Allie back down and kiss her with a passion that seems to surprise them both.   
Bea swallows Allie's breathless gasp as she places gentle, slightly shaking hands against the lace of her bra.   
  
It's all _so_ new and beautiful and feels so right and Bea could get lost in this feeling but suddenly she feels Allie's hand at the hem of her shirt, working its way slowly beneath to find an inch of bare skin.   
  
Bea stills beneath her instantly.  
  
Suddenly she remembers that there's something she needs to say before they can reach that intimate moment that her body seems to be craving.   
  
Allie hasn't noticed yet and Bea assumes that she must be lost in her own lust.   
She instinctively grabs at Allie's hand, stilling her movements.   
Allie pulls away slightly, a quiet look of subtle shock painting her features.   
She searches Bea's eyes with her own, looking for an answer for the sudden pause.

  
"Sorry," she utters apologetically. "I didn't mean to... I should have asked."

  
Bea sees the tiny glimpse of concern that's suddenly obvious in Allie, concern that she's gone too far, that the whole moment had taken on a life of its own and gotten away from them.

Fuck.

It's in that moment that Bea makes a decision.

  
"No," she shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not quite ready for more yet."

  
It's a lie. She _is_ ready. She wants it.   
She can feel the magnitude of her longing aching low in her stomach, gently tapping inside her core.   
But she has a secret that's getting in the way and right now, she doesn't want to tell it.   
She doesn't want to ruin their wonderful night with a horrible recounting of her past.

Allie smiles gently. "Don't be sorry. I don't want to do anything that you're not totally comfortable with."

  
She traces her fingertips across Bea's forehead as if she's trying to erase the worry from her mind.

Bea want to cry because she's just so sweet and accomodating but instead she smiles as Allie moves into a sitting position, gently pulling her up with her.

  
"I'm sorry I got so carried away," she utters as she finds her shirt on the ground and winds her long arms through the sleeves.

  
"It was me too."

  
They're both silent for a little while as they organise themselves, re-buttoning shirts and rearranging lust-spoiled hair.

When Bea glances up she's met with a warm look of pure adoration, Allie smiling at her gently as if she's quietly thankful for the tender moments they had just shared.

Bea leans in and kisses her softly.

  
"I guess I should get home, make sure Franky's OK," she rasps when they eventually part.

  
She doesn't want to leave, she wants to stay here in the safety and beauty of Allie's embrace, but she can feel her emotions beginning to take a hold of her.

  
"OK. Promise me you'll text me when you're home safely?"

  
"I will."

  
Allie walks her to her car, clinging to her hand before she wraps her arms around Bea's body and holds her close for the longest time.

  
"I had a wonderful time with you tonight, thank you for going to so much trouble to make me feel so special," Bea whispers into Allie's ear.   
She tries her hardest to swallow the lump that tries to rise up into her throat.

She feels Allie's arms tighten ever so slightly around her body.

  
"You're welcome... anything for my beautiful _girlfriend_."

  
They each giggle at the word and the excitement of what it means for them now then kiss with a contained passion and gentility that makes Bea's heart swell.

  
Bea is no sooner in the safety of her car and driving down the street away from Allie when the emotion that she had tried so hard to chase away comes roaring back.

She cries. Violently and whole-heartedly.  
  
She had come so close to making love with Allie.   
She came so close to a moment of undoubted pure pleasure in a life that, by comparison, has been cruel and painful prior to now.   
But of course, Harry was there again to ruin it in some way.   
He may not be in her life, but he still lives in her head and she still wears the damage of what he has done to her.

She came so close. And that thought almost breaks her heart.

.....

  
Bea manages to compose herself not long before she pulls into her driveway.   
She checks her eyes beneath her car's dim interior light for evidence of her emotional breakdown, knowing Franky will most likely be waiting for her when she gets inside.

As she enters her home, she sees Franky laid out on the lounge beneath Bea's favourite red blanket, her hand tucked beneath her face and her green eyes trained on the front door.

  
"The fuck? I wasn't expecting you this early," she says, sitting up, eyes narrowed and mouth hung open.

  
"Early? It's 11 o'clock," Bea replies as she flops down into her armchair, releasing a long exhalation, feeling exhaustion washing over her.

  
"How'd ya go at work? Was it busy?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Sorry," Franky says quietly. "I just needed a day to myself."

  
"It's fine, really." Bea pauses, tracing her eyes over Franky's neutral expression before she gently presses for more. "Are you alright?"

  
Franky nods emphatically, a tiny, appreciative grin forming in the corner of her mouth.

  
"I'll live. Thanks again for letting me crash here. I'll be out of ya hair soon enough."

  
"So you made up with Bridget?" Bea asks, wide-eyed and hopeful.

  
Franky's expression falls slightly, her eyes dropping to the floor for a moment as she shakes her head.

  
"Nah, I'm gonna find my own place. You don't need me hanging around you and Blondie during the honeymoon phase."

  
Bea winces for a moment, feeling a sting of pain for her friend.

  
"So there's no hope there?"

  
Franky shifts uncomfortably against the lounge and the size of her anguish suddenly becomes apparent as Bea sees her try to tame her quivering lower lip.

  
"I dunno....fuck, I _want_ it to work, I really fuckin do. I love her so much-" she falters, drawing in a deep breath to control the waver in her voice.   
  
  
Bea is up and sitting beside her before she knows it, grabbing at Franky's hand.

  
"But it's so clear that I'm not her number one priority. All she does is work all the fuckin time," Franky sobs, wiping her tears against her sleeve.

  
Bea really isn't sure what to say. She's never seen her friend like this, she's usually so strong and resolute, a force to be reckoned with.   
Franky has always been so emotionally closed off towards everybody so to see this unusually uncensored and raw side of her shocks Bea into silence.   
She hopes that her presence alone is enough to provide comfort.

  
"Is it too much to ask to be shown a little fuckin affection without having to beg for it?"

  
Bea shakes her head, eyes fixed firmly to the floor as she rubs her thumb against the back of Franky's hand.   
She feels Franky's fingers tighten around hers as she dabs her sleeve to her face again to collect more tears.

  
"I'm so sorry Franky," Bea rasps after a few moments of desperately searching the depths of her mind for some kind of response.

"I meant what I said. Stay as long as you need to."

  
Franky nods, Bea's sentiment seeming to settle her a little.

  
"Are you sure?"

  
"Positive. I could use the company while Deb's away," she says gently.

  
"How is your little mini-me?" Franky asks, overtly keen to move the conversation into more comfortable territory as she pulls her hand away from Bea's.

  
"She's good, I haven't spoken to her in a few days because she's been so busy but she emailed me late last night. She leaves for France soon."

  
Franky nods, finally reaching a point of composure where she's comfortable enough to meet Bea's glance again.

  
"I bet ya miss her."

  
"Yeah, like crazy. But she'll be home soon enough. Three months will fly by."

  
Franky nods again and there's a short silence between them that Bea decides to fill with a thought that she finally formulates.

  
"I'm sorry that Bridget doesn't make you a priority. She _should_. I hope she knows what she's losing."

  
Franky quirks an eyebrow and grins coyly.

  
"You hittin' on me Red?"

  
Bea giggles. "You wish."

  
"Too fuckin right I wish," she shoots back instantly, eyes tracing up and down Bea's body playfully, her tongue pointed against the front of her teeth with a child-like innocence about her.

  
Bea jabs Franky with her shoulder as she shakes her head. "Behave or I'll set Allie onto you."

  
"Do it, I'd love to tick a threesome off my bucket list."

  
Bea gives into laughter because the sound of Franky's cackle is just so infectious, especially after what had just transpired.

  
"Piss off," Bea rasps, flicking the back of her hand against Franky's arm as she stands.  
"I'm gonna go to bed. Will you be OK?"

  
"Yeah, cheers Red. Tell anyone about what happened here tonight and I'll cut ya," Franky says warningly and with a pointed finger.

  
Bea smiles in response and makes it up the first 3 stairs before Franky's voice stops her.

  
"Oh I almost forgot, how'd you go with Blondie?"

  
"Good."  
  
Franky swiftly turns into the back of the lounge to meet Bea's glance. "So you told her?"

  
Bea suddenly remembers their conversation from this morning.   
Before she has a chance to engage her brain, her mouth takes over.

  
"Yeah."

  
It's another lie, her second one for the night. Except this one is bigger and feels substantially more treacherous.

  
"And? How'd she react?" Franky asks, eyes wide with anticipation.

  
Bea makes her way back down the stairs slowly, trying to come up with a response quickly.   
She crosses her arms across her chest, gazing at the ground with sizeable guilt that she fears Franky can see through.

  
"Oh you know, freaked out a little bit at first but she seems OK with everything. She uhh... she actually asked me to be her girlfriend."

  
"No fuckin way!"

  
"Yeah," Bea says with a quiet laugh as her mind traces back to that moment on Allie's lounge not that long ago. The tenderness of it all brings a warm smile to her lips.

  
"That's fuckin awesome! Are ya stoked?"

  
Bea nods. "Yeah."

  
It's all she can say, she fears anything more will only see her become emotional.

  
"I'm stoked for ya too, really," Franky says with a warmth to her demeanour.   
"So did ya seal the deal yet?"

  
Of course it comes back to _that_ , it always does with Franky.   
Bea can feel a blush beginning to encroach on her body, knowing full well how explicit her tattooed friend usually gets.

  
"Not yet."

  
"When are ya seeing her again?"

  
Bea recalls the evening, realising they hadn't arranged anything further and that she is yet to send Allie the text she had promised she would.

  
"I dunno yet. I'll probably have her over for dinner one night this week if that's alright with you?"

  
"Yeah, of course, it's your house. You tell me when and I'll make myself scarce for the night."

  
"You don't need to do that."

  
"Nah I want to. Give ya some privacy and shit. Unless ya want me here for your first lady bang?" Franky says with her trademark cheeky grin.

  
"I'll pass, thanks. Night Franky."  
  
  
"Night ya frigid bitch."

  
Bea quickly climbs the stairs up to her room, laughing at Franky's remark as she pulls her phone from her pocket, typing as quickly as she can while she sheds her clothes.

  
**Sorry Allie, I've been home a little while but Franky was up and wanted to talk everything through.  
I hope I didn't make you worry. Thank you for tonight, I'm so grateful for you and everything you do for me.   
You're one of a kind Allie Novak. I feel very lucky to have you.   
Good night beautiful girl xx**

  
It's incredibly sentimental for her but after the evening she's just had, it doesn't feel inappropriate.   
  
Bea is just climbing beneath her crisp, cool sheets as Allie's reply comes through.  
  


**God you're adorable!! I'm the lucky 1 babe :) :)**   
**Altho I'm not sure what u mean, I'm only treating u the way u should be treated.**   
**I just wanted 2 check that ur OK with everything that happened 2nyt?  
I'm sorry again 4 getting carried away, promise 2 behave myself a bit better.   
Hope u get a good nite's sleep.   
Good night beautiful xxxxxxx**

  
Bea smiles to herself. She holds her phone to her chest because all she wants to do is hold Allie and this is the closest thing she can get to it.   
She couldn't be happier that they're officially a couple but at the same time, she's a mess of guilt.   
The longer that she keeps her past from Allie, the more that it feels like a lie.

As she types her reply, she begins to feel the familiar sting of tears burning her tired eyes again.

**  
Yes I'm more than OK with what happened. I'm sorry I had a temporary freak out on you.**   
**I guess it's all still new to me and maybe a little bit daunting.**   
**But not unwanted. xx**

  
  
**I can understand that. Ur still controlling this n I'm still happy 2 go at ur pace babe, I will only ever hav ur best interests in mind.  
Now go 2 sleep ;) xxxxxx**

  
Despite the weight of things on her mind, Bea quickly falls asleep soon after she switches her screen off and clutches it tightly against her chest, quietly wishing she was wrapped up in the arms of her beautiful girlfriend.

  
-  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea gets an early mark at work and runs into somebody unexpected at the gym.  
> Allie goes to Bea's house for dinner, but will Franky be a third wheel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Happy Wednesday!
> 
> I have nothing to say this week except  
> enjoy chapter 12, 
> 
> It's an epic one.

  
It's Wednesday which means its a quiet day at the salon. Too quiet for Bea's liking.   
The change of pace is unfortunately giving her time alone with her thoughts.  
As she sits in the back room, boot clad feet up against the table top, she fiddles with the phone in her hands.   
She's been texting with Allie for most of the morning about nothing in particular and how equally boring their respective days are.   
Allie has been amusing Bea with her witty texts about a particularly annoying couple who she had been showing through a property.

**  
Just left Mr & Mrs "the-decor-is-so-tacky", thank God! That was torture :(**   
**Call me when ur on ur lunch break? I miss the sound of ur voice :)  
  
**

Bea smiles widely.   
She types out a quick OK in reply and checks the clock, slightly annoyed that it's only just after 11am.   
She lets her feet drop to the floor as she moves forward to bang her head softly against the table.

  
The weight of her confliction is making her stomach ache.  
She's ecstatic about things with Allie. She truly cannot believe her good fortune that she's found someone so kind, gentle and doting, someone who is so willing to show her patience and compassion.   
There's no comparison to her former life or her former husband, it's as though she is an entirely different person, living an entirely different life.   
The old Bea Smith is starting to become a distant memory, fading into oblivion just that little bit more each day.   
And then she reminds herself that her girlfriend has no idea about the kind of life she used to live and it makes her loathe herself for unintentionally tainting something so perfectly beautiful.   
She's had ample opportunity to talk to Allie about it but she's chosen not to at every turn and now it's beginning to feel like she's deceiving her.

  
"Bea?"

  
In all of her deep contemplation, she hadn't heard Maxine enter and settle into the chair beside her.

  
"Are you alright love?"

  
Bea sits up straighter, trying to shake that familiar look of burden from her body, one that she's certain Maxine can detect in her by now.

 

"Yeah. Just bored."

  
"Bit of a stark contrast from yesterday, isn't it?"

  
Bea smiles as she nods, drumming her fingertips slowly against the table, her eyes fixed on their movement.

  
"You know, you've only got 3 more clients booked for the rest of the day and Franky has offered to take them for you. Why don't you head home for the day?"

  
She frowns despite the flicker of excitement she feels within.

  
"Nah I couldn't, there must be something I could do around here?"

  
Maxine smiles warmly. "There really isn't anything left to do hon. Franky really wants to do something to thank you for taking her clients for her yesterday.   
Go home, or better yet go visit Allie."

  
Its a grand idea, one that Bea would love to give rein to.

  
"She's working," she says quietly, a look of sweetness washing over her features at the very thought of skipping work to spend time with Allie.

  
"Oh that's a shame. And _you_ Missy, didn't tell me the good news," Maxine says pointedly, gently tapping an index finger on Bea's forearm.

Bea glances at her dumbfounded for a moment.

  
"That you and Allie made it official! And that you told her about everything with Harry. Franky told me, congratulations love," Maxine gushes happily.

  
She feels herself wince at the lie for a nanosecond before she quickly chases it away with a forced smile.

  
"Thanks."

  
Maxine's smile fades slightly as she searches Bea's expression.

  
"What is it? I thought that's what you wanted?"

  
Damn. She should know by now that she can't get anything past Maxine.   
She trains her face to reflect her happiness and tries to push away her all-consuming guilt.

  
"Yeah, it _is_ what I want. I'm happy."

  
Maxine isn't buying it, not for a second.

  
"Then what's wrong? I can tell _something_ is."  
  


"Nothing." She grins, but she can tell by the frown and squinted eye her friend is giving her that it's not convincing enough.

  
"Bea..." Maxine utters warningly.

  
She exhales deeply, dropping her gaze to the tabletop, allowing all of her falseness to fall away.

  
"Allie asked me to be her girlfriend, that part is true. But I didn't tell her about Harry and I."

  
She can hear Maxine's laboured exhalation but she refuses to look in her direction.

  
"I couldn't. I know you think that she won't leave but I'm not ready to take that risk. I will tell her, I promise you I will. But I need more time."

  
She feels Maxine's hand against her forearm, warm and supportive and she wills herself not to become emotional.

  
"I get why you want to keep it from her. And no one can force you to tell her, that's something you have to do on your own. What I don't get is why you lied to Franky?"

  
Bea pauses for a moment, eyes still fixed ahead of her. Its not her secret to tell but since she's sharing, what the hell is one more to throw into the mix?

  
"Because Franky's living with me. Her and Bridget broke up and she's been staying with me and I guess I lied for the sake of harmony.   
I don't need her riding me in my own home."

  
When she's met with silence, she glances up at Maxine.   
Her neutral expression doesn't punish or demand anything of Bea and in that moment, she realises what needs to be done.

  
"If it's alright, I think I might take you up on that offer to head home. There's a conversation I need to have and I need some time to work out what I'm going to say."

  
Maxine smiles gently at her, a brief vestige of a tear forming in the corner of her dark eye.

  
"Go love. I'll be leaving my phone on all night in case you need to talk."

  
As Bea stands she leans over Maxine and presses a quick kiss into the crown of her head before she gathers her belongings and leaves without a word.   
She wishes she could communicate her gratitude but she knows the words will only get lost in her throat amongst the muddle of emotion that she's trying to swallow down.

She waits until she's in the privacy of her car until she pulls her phone out and dials a familiar number.

  
"This is Allie speaking."

  
Bea giggles, her feelings of wretchedness suddenly erased at the mere sound of Allie's sweet voice.

  
"That's a pretty formal greeting."

  
"Baby!" Allie exclaims happily. "I wasn't looking at the caller ID, sorry. Are you on lunch already?"

  
"Better than that, I'm heading home."

  
"Why? Are you OK?" She asks, voice thick with concern.

  
"Yeah, it's just so quiet at the salon today that Maxi said I could go."

  
"Well you _did_ work really hard yesterday, you could use a day off. So what are you going to do with your gorgeous self for the rest of the day?"

  
An idea suddenly comes to Bea.

  
"Well I was thinking that maybe I could cook dinner for you tonight? If you're free, that is?"

  
She can almost hear Allie beaming through the phone.

  
"I would love that."

  
"I wouldn't count on that, I'm not much of a cook," Bea utters with a giggle.

  
"It doesn't matter to me babe, it's not food that keeps me coming back for more."

  
It's innocent enough, but the way Allie voices it, softly and full of innuendo, makes Bea's body tingle.

  
"Will Franky be there?"

  
"I dunno," Bea says honestly. "She did offer to give us some alone time."

  
"As absolutely amazing as that sounds, I was thinking more along the lines that she joins us.   
After all she's been through lately, I don't want to kick her out for our sake. If that's OK with you?"

  
Bea feels her smile widen. Apart from her friends at the salon, she wasn't aware that there was anybody else in the universe who could be this altruistic.

  
"You're sweet Allie."

  
The blonde simply giggles, the compliment clearly catching her off guard.

  
"What time do you want me?"

  
"Anytime you want to come over. Just text me when you're on your way if you like."

  
"Sounds perfect babe, I can't wait. Is it weird that I only saw you last night and I miss you already?"

  
A breathy chuckle escapes Bea's mouth, born of her relief that Allie feels the same way.

  
"No. It's mutual, trust me."

  
There's a silence between them for a moment that lends them the time to truly savour their mutual feelings for one another.

  
"I'd better get back to work, beautiful. Thanks for making my day."

  
"You made mine, so I thought it was only fair that I return the favour."

  
"Stop being so cute, Bea. It's very distracting," she says with a laugh, the sound of which is so sweet to Bea's ears, she can't help but do the same.

  
"Sorry. Bye beautiful girl."

  
"Bye babe."

  
As she taps her phone and her screen goes black, she feels her smile fade.   
Before she lets herself fall into whatever depressive mood she wants to inflict upon herself, she dials another number.

  
"Miss me already Red?"

  
"Something like that."

  
Franky laughs coyly and Bea can just about imagine her leaning her slender body against her chair with the tip of her tongue tracing against the front of a tooth.

  
"What do you want? Besides a good roll around the sack with yours truly."

  
Bea groans. She could react but she would only be playing into Franky's game.

  
"Allie's coming over for dinner tonight."

  
"So you want me to vacate for a few hours?" Bea can hear the sudden silence in the backround and she assumes that Franky has moved into the privacy of the back room.

  
"No, Allie wants you to stay and join us."

  
There's a short pause and Bea imagines that its because Franky is touched by the kindness of the blonde's gesture.

  
"Well holy fuck, it looks like I might actually get that threesome after all."

  
Bea's resolve to not bite completely disappears.

  
"Shut up," she snarks. "So are you going to join us or what?"

  
There is little delay in Franky's response.

  
"Yeah, if you're sure, count me in. What's on the menu?"

  
"I was thinking of cooking something, I don't know what though."

  
"Ugh, fuck no. You like her and you want her to stick around, right?"

  
"Yeah, of course," Bea says, confounded.

  
"Well _don't_ cook for her. No offence Red but the only thing that you can make in the kitchen is a fuckin mess."

  
"Thanks Franky." She laughs, not at all offended by the very accurate observation.

  
"I'll cook, as a way of saying thanks for letting me crash your date. I'll text you a shopping list, if you can grab me what I need then leave the rest to me."

  
Bea is again floored by her friend's generosity, her chest warm with affection.

  
"Thanks Franky. I owe you," she says gently.

  
"Nah ya don't. You gave me a place to stay. That means more than you'll ever know."

  
.....

  
Bea does as Franky asks and collects everything she needs from the supermarket.   
From the items on the list, Bea assumes its some kind of Indian-themed dish and then she realises the depth of her ineptitude in the kitchen, suddenly very grateful that Franky is doing the cooking tonight.

Back home, she clears away the last of the groceries and flops onto her lounge.   
She had been trying to avoid this kind of silence all morning because it means she now has to deal with the dilemma at hand.   
How the fuck is she going to tell Allie about her past?

Her dark eyes trace around the room, reflecting the noise in her head as she tries to compartmentalise her thoughts.   
The words will come surprisingly easily to her, but the bravery she needs to broach them won't.   
No matter how she tries, she can't visualise a way around that, her particular brand of crippling introversion isn't new and by no means is it welcome.   
It's just another remnant of Harry and who he made her into.

  
"Fuck," she growls at herself through gritted teeth.

  
Bea is an odd combination of nervousness, anger and numbness.   
She doesn't quite know what to do with herself and all of this free time before her.  
Where most people would welcome it, Bea dreads it.

She makes an impulsive decision to go to the gym.   
She hasn't been for a few days and given the time of day, there shouldn't be too many people around.   
She changes quickly and grabs her helmet, deciding a ride on her motorbike may just be the thing she needs to clear her chaotic mind.

  
.....

  
The gym is almost deserted.   
Bea loves it when its like this and she takes her time using all of the equipment that she usually uses and a few others that she's normally too inhibited to use.

She spends a good two hours there, working herself to near exhaustion.   
She's grateful for the endorphins that grace her now tired body, they gift her mind with a kind of clarity that she had so sorely sought.

As she rounds the corner into the locker room, sipping from her water bottle and wiping away the perspiration from her face, her stomach flips as she comes face to face with a familiar blonde.

  
"Hello Bea."

  
She pulls herself out of her stunned silence to answer.

  
"Dr Westfall, hi."

  
Bridget smiles warmly, a brief flutter of her eyelids letting Bea know that she prefers not to be addressed as such.

  
"Please, call me Bridget. Especially around here," she utters, eyes tracing the hallway behind Bea as she lowers her voice.  
"People find out you're a Doctor around here and suddenly you're looking at every sweat rash and twisted ankle there is."

  
Bea smiles uncomfortably, not entirely certain how to react to the short blonde before her.   
She has an air of sophistication about her and a warmth that would usually make Bea feel at ease, if it wasn't for the knowledge of the current struggles in her personal life.

  
"Sorry," Bea utters shyly.

  
"You needn't be," Bridget says dismissively. "So how are you?"

  
"Good thanks."

  
Bridget's light eyes examine Bea's features keenly. "You _look_ good. Lighter, dare I say more youthful."

  
Bea feels herself begin to blush at the compliment. "How are _you_?"

  
She asks the question purely out of courtesy, knowing that after a breakup that was so plainly brutal that she can't possibly be anything but emotional.

  
"I'm fine, thank you.... I suppose you heard about Franky and I?"

  
Bea nods, lips pressed together and gaze against the ground.   
The silence between them is unbearably uncomfortable and feels as though it drags on forever although Bea suspects that it's only brief.

  
"The next time you see her, will you tell her I said hello?"

  
"Sure."

  
After Franky's teary admission the other night, she doubts she will.  
Especially because Bridget seems so collected, without a trace of regret or pain to be seen.   
But she agrees because its the polite thing to do.

As Bea smiles one last time and moves toward her locker, she's stopped by Bridget's voice once more.

  
"Oh, Bea?"

  
She turns to see a kind of quiet discomfort across Bridget's features, as though she's trying to raise an awkward topic.

  
"Are you still seeing the trauma counsellor that I referred you to?"

  
Bea's heart skips a beat, her skin prickles at the reminder.   
She stares for a moment, feeling the latent anger at the fact that Bridget dares to bring up the subject in such a public setting.   
She simply shakes her head in place of no.

  
"I received the report about your progress. Your counsellor has recommended further review, Bea. If you would like to come back and see me I can arrange-"

  
"No thank you." Bea says curtly. "I'm fine."

  
She collects her belongings with an obvious abruptness, knowing that Bridget's eyes are still on her before leaving as quickly as her tired body will allow.

  
.....  
  
  
"Fuck sake Red, would you leave the fuckin cushions alone? They haven't moved since you straightened them five minutes ago!" Franky bellows from the kitchen over the soft music that fills the house.

Bea emerges from the living room, wiping her slick palms against her denim clad thighs.

She had received Allie's text saying she's on her way and it had been enough to send her from nervous to stricken with panic faster than she'd care to admit.   
It's written plainly across her face, if Franky's reaction is anything to gauge.

  
"What's up your ass? You're carrying on like it's your first date," she says with a confused frown before she turns her attention back to the contents of the large saucepan that simmers on the cooktop before her.

  
"Nothing," Bea husks heavily. "She'll be here soon, I just wanna make sure everything is perfect."

  
It's a lie, just another to add to the catalogue of lies that she's told in the past few days.   
She's petrified because tonight is the night that she tells Allie everything.

  
"It _will_ be, you've got Chef Doyle in the house. So either calm the fuck down or get your ass out of the kitchen and away from my food, the stench of your nervous sweat will make my curry taste bad," she says as she waves an impatient hand in Bea's direction.

  
"Can I do anything?"

  
Franky shuts a lid against the pot and gestures to the fridge.

  
"Yeah, you can get us both a beer."

  
Bea complies, taking a long sip as she settles on one of the stools at the bench, feeling a little better as the cold liquor tingles down her throat.   
She eyes Franky with deliberation, watching as she leans her lower back into the edge of the bench opposite Bea and throws her head back to take a quick, keen gulp.  
As the brunette snaps her head back she catches Bea's glance before she quickly looks away.

  
"Ok, what is up with _that_?" She quizzes, her index finger coming away from the bottle that she points at Bea.  
"That's the third time you've looked at me like that. I'm starting to think Blondie isn't coming and this whole thing is your way of coming onto me."

  
A small smirk tugs at the corner of Bea's mouth and she shakes her head.

  
"Nah.... It's just that I ran into... _someone_ today. And I've been trying to decide whether to tell you or not."

  
Bea has barely uttered the words when Franky squints an eye.

  
"Gidge?"

  
Bea pauses, trying to read her friend's unreadable expression before she nods.

Franky's eyes widen in disbelief.

  
"No fuckin way."

  
"Yeah," Bea rasps, watching as Franky digests the revelation and chases it with a number of loud, desperate gulps of beer.

  
"Where did you see her?" She quizzes, looking shaken, as if she'd just withstood a sizeable earthquake.

  
"At the gym... around lunchtime."

As she surveys Franky's indignant demeanor, she wonders if she has made the right decision to tell her.

  
"Are you fuckin serious?" Franky snarls at no one in particular.   
"I could barely get her to spend an hour with me for a dinner date, yet she can go to the fuckin gym in the middle of the day? Fuck that."

  
She slams her bottle down and turns her back to Bea, arms wide and straight, fingers clinging to the edge of the benchtop as if to steady herself and contain the anger that threatens to erupt.

Bea's glance drops.   
If this is an indication of how things intend to pan out tonight, she's not prepared for it.

  
"I'm sorry Franky. I shouldn't have said anything."

  
"It's not your fault, Red," she says softly. "And I'm glad you told me."

  
She turns to meet Bea's eyes again, they're softer now although still unreadable.

  
"Did you talk to her?"

  
Bea wants to drop the whole thing, move on and forget she ever raised the subject but her guilty expression would only betray her.

  
"Yeah. She asked me to say hi."

  
Franky simply nods as though the worst of her reactions have passed.   
Bea allows the silence between them to fill the air, wondering if her timing is as poor as her decision-making skills.

  
"Are you OK?" She eventually asks gently.

  
"Yeah. Thanks Red," Franky replies quietly before going back to her dinner preparations.

  
Before Bea has time to respond or ask anything further, there's a knocking at the front door.   
The contents of her stomach suddenly feel as though they're trying to leap into her throat.   
She slides off her stool and hurries to the door, wiping her instantly slick palms against her hips.

As she pulls back the door and is greeted by Allie's luminous smile, Bea feels her worries melt away.

  
"Hi babe," she says warmly, her light eyes devouring Bea's body.

  
Bea smiles widely, already feeling the heat forming in her stomach as she watches Allie's eyes run the length of her body.   
She's wearing blue jeans and a plain white tshirt so she can't quite understand how Allie can still look at her with such smouldering sensuality.

  
"Hi," she giggles in reply.

  
Bea reaches a hand out which Allie accepts instantly but when she stands firmly on the spot, Bea frowns for a moment.

  
"Where's Franky?" Allie whispers.

  
"In the kitchen, why?"

  
She gets her answer when Allie tugs gently on her hand, pulling her out onto the balcony and out of Franky's earshot.

She captures Bea's face between her warm hands, pulling her into an instantly passionate kiss.   
Bea is powerless against the helpless moan that escapes her mouth, caught off guard by the abundant desire in Allie's greeting.   
She places her hands against Allie's shoulder blades, the blonde taking it as a signal to press her body even more firmly against Bea's.   
Allie's hands move from Bea's face to her hips. She takes her time sliding her hands back, enjoying the feeling of heated skin that radiates through Bea's clothes, gently squeezing, chasing every feeling she can.   
Her hands find the small of Bea's back, urging her body even closer.   
Allie makes soft sounds, quiet moans and sharp intakes of breath through her nose, all of which make Bea's skin hot with want.   
Bea kisses Allie more firmly, groaning a little louder, with little regard for her tattooed friend inside.   
As Allie's warm tongue retreats back into her own mouth, Bea can feel her begin to smile against her lips and after a beat, she can't help but do the same.   
Their lips part, Allie bringing a hand up to push Bea's loose curls behind her shoulder and she places a soft kiss against the curve of the redhead's neck before resting her chin there.  
She holds Bea tightly, enjoying the closeness of their warm bodies and Bea gives into the embrace, surrendering her every thought and insecurity as she inhales Allie's sweet perfume.

  
"Sorry," Allie giggles. "I was planning on keeping the touchy feely stuff to a minimum because Franky's here but I can't go the whole night without kissing you."

  
Bea laughs as they peel their bodies from one another and she kisses Allie's soft cheek as they part, their hands finding each other's as if they're magnetized.

  
"I'll behave now, I swear."

  
Bea just smiles and giggles softly as they enter the house, Franky's eyes on them from the kitchen, a knowing smile forming on her lips as she notices the deep pink tint that colours Bea's chest.

  
"What's up Blondie?" Franky asks smoothly.

  
"Not much, tatts," Allie replies, earning a laugh from both women.

  
"Enjoying a quickie on the front porch, were we?"

  
Bea's smile drops instantly, replaced with a scowl and a roll of her dark eyes.

  
"What? Did I moan too loud?" Allie says without a trace of guilt or embarrassment.   
"Sorry, I just can't resist her."

  
She dumps her bag on the ground beside one of the kitchen stools as Bea's blush intensifies.  
The blonde delights in her reaction and she brings a hand up to rest against the curve of Bea's lower back.

  
"You're a lucky bitch, Red," Franky says after her laughter has faded.

  
She moves easily to the opposite end of the bench and retrieves a large bowl covered in cling wrap before she pulls out a round ball of dough and begins kneading it with flour-covered hands.

  
"What's all this then?" Allie asks, leaving a quick kiss on Bea's cheek while Franky's back is turned.

  
"Franky wanted to cook for us," Bea rasps through the smile that takes over her mouth.

  
"Nah, more like it was _necessary_ that I cooked. Have you ever had a Bea Smith cooked meal?"

  
Allie shakes her head.

  
"Trust me, I'm doing us all a favour."

  
"I'm not that bad!" Bea protests.

  
"Yeah but you're not that good either."

  
Allie giggles at their exchange, the obvious way that Franky presses all of Bea's buttons.

  
"Well either way, I'm very grateful to who ever puts food in me. It smells amazing by the way, what are you making?" she asks keenly, standing on her tip-toes to see.

  
"Mango curry and freshly made Naan. It's nothin special, it's a piece of piss to make, even you'd be able to cook it Red."

  
When neither one replies, Franky glances over her shoulder at them as she continues to knead the dough beneath her hands.   
They're gazing at each other with a youthful exuberance, an overt hunger that Franky doubts is for the food and more for each other.

  
"Dinner will be ready in 10. Why don't you give Blondie a grand tour of the house, hey Red? There's a room upstairs I reckon she'd take special interest in."

  
Bea snaps her glance back to Franky, a fiery look of offence across her features.   
Franky turns her back again but not before her annoyingly coy tongue traces the back of her teeth suggestively.

  
"That sounds like something that the real estate enthusiast in me would enjoy," Allie smiles, surpressing a giggle as she takes Bea by the hand.

  
"And I reckon the pussy enthusiast in ya would enjoy the bedroom, hey Blondie?"

  
"Franky!" Bea reprimands over the sound of the two younger women's laughter.

  
Bea gently tugs Allie's hand, guiding her through the house and away from Franky before she can make any more inapproriate small talk and embarrass Bea any further.

  
"I'm so sorry about Franky," Bea sighs quietly as they reach the top of the stairs, rubbing her forehead in exasperation.   
  
  
Allie simply takes both of her hands within her own and presses a soft kiss against her cheek.

  
"You don't need to apologise, I'm not offended that easily, it's fine."

  
She kisses Bea again, on the lips this time and untangles one of her hands to tuck a lock of curls behind Bea's ear.   
As they stand at the foot of the hallway, lightly touching, Bea suddenly remembers the chore she's assigned herself tonight.   
Her heart skips as she wonders if this moment is the time, whether she should say the words now and get this whole thing over with.   
She knows the longer she waits, the bigger her bundle of nerves grows and the more likely she is to talk herself out of it.

  
"Hey," Allie breathes, her light eyes darting between Bea's, trying to read her unexpectedly despondent expression.   
She cradles Bea's cheek in her palm, her thumb tracing a feather light line across her skin.

  
"Are you OK?"

  
Her voice is soft and filled with a kind of audible intimacy that makes Bea's heart ache.

  
"Yeah," she answers automatically, knowing with every part of her that it's not true.

  
"Good," Allie says softly, smiling as she kisses Bea's lips again for slightly longer this time.   
"Now how about that tour?"

  
Bea obliges, leading the blonde from room to room briefly until she reaches her bedroom door and suddenly becomes shy.   
Allie smiles a knowing smile.

  
"That your room?" She asks with a pointed finger.

  
Bea nods and watches as Allie's eyes quickly become hooded with want.

  
"When was the last time you made out with someone in there?"

  
Bea gulps hard. Allie's voice is low, her fingers toying with Bea's playfully.

  
"I've never..."

  
She leans in closer and Bea can feel the heat her slender body radiates.

  
"I'm up for it if you are."

  
_God_.   
The way Allie is exuding pure sex appeal is doing things to Bea's insides and totally erasing the worry from her mind.

  
"I thought you said you were going to behave tonight?"

  
Allie grins devilishly, glancing quickly down the hallway to make sure Franky isn't lurking nearby.

  
"Come in your room with me, I'll show you how behaved I can be."

  
She's no sooner uttered the words before her lips are on Bea's, kissing her in a way that makes Bea's stomach flutter.

She doesn't know if Allie guides her backwards or if she pulls Allie towards her but they're soon kissing against her bedroom wall, bathed in the low light that filters through from the hallway.   
Allie presses her hips against Bea's as she devours her mouth, sighing and grabbing at Bea's arms, hips, her jawline, anything she can reach.   
The speed of which things escalate makes Bea's whole body hot and its not long until she can feel her centre begin to lightly throb.   
Typically it doesn't last long enough before they're interruped by Franky's loud voice which sounds like an intrusion in the darkness of the room.

  
"Hey love birds, dinners ready. Put ya pants back on and get down here."

  
Allie pulls away and drops her head against Bea's shoulder with a groan.

  
"Have I mentioned how much I love Franky's awesome timing?"

  
Bea can only giggle in reply, grateful that she's not the only one who is suffering.

  
"I'll be down in a sec, I'm just going to use your bathroom," Allie says with a quick kiss before they leave the room, Bea adjusting her shirt and smoothing her hair as she descends the stairs alone.

  
Franky meets her gaze with an amused grin as she sets the small dining table.

  
"Where's your girl Red? Still recovering from the intense orgasm you just gave her, I hope?"

  
Bea shoots her an instantly disapproving look. "Franky would ya give it a rest?" She whines in exasperation.

  
Franky seems to soften a little. "Yeah alright, I've had my fill of fun with you anyway."

  
They each move into the kitchen, collecting the steaming hot bowls full of Franky's aromatic dish.

  
"Hey," the brunette utters quietly, eyes searching the nearby stairs for a trace of Allie.   
When she finds none, she leans in a little closer to Bea.

  
"I'll head off after dinner."

  
Bea frowns. "Why?"

  
"Give you some privacy, ya dickhead."

  
"Franky, you really don't need to do that."

  
"Uh _yeah_ I do. She wants you bad, Red. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a fuckin spoon."

  
Bea wants to protest but then she realises that Franky leaving them alone for a while isn't actually a bad idea, given the conversation she intends to have with her girlfriend.   
She then processes the magnitude of Franky's statement.

  
"Really?" She asks dumbly, not at all as intimidated by the idea as she thinks she should be.

  
Franky just glances at her like she's utterly inept as Allie makes her way down the stairs.

  
"This looks incredible, thanks Franky," she says happily as she eyes the meal laid out on the table.

  
"Yeah thanks Franky," Bea says as she moves to sit down, appreciative surprise painting her expression as Allie attentively tucks her chair in for her before sitting down beside her.

  
"Thanks for letting me hang out with ya's," Franky says quietly, raising her beer in the air in a silent toast before she takes a long drink.

  
Bea smiles at the rare moment of sincerity and simply enjoys the presence of the two most significant women in her life right now.

  
  
Dinner goes so well and Franky is surprisingly well-behaved.   
The three women get along wonderfully and Allie delights in hearing some of the funnier stories Franky and Bea share about working at the salon.

  
"So Booms is doing a wash on this chick who is an utter fuckin bitch, right Red?" Franky says, stifling her own giggle at the memory.

  
"Oh yeah," Bea replies with a shake of her head. "She's the worst client I think we've ever had."

  
Allie smiles as she switches her gaze between them.

  
"So this chick demands a treatment and Booms is like 'yeah no worries' but she's too busy off on her own fuckin planet and grabs a bottle of toner instead of conditioner."

  
"No!" Allie squeals, bringing her hands up to cover her gaping mouth.

  
Bea laughs hysterically, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

  
"We never saw that bitch or her fuckin fluro orange hair again!"

  
The three of them cackle with laughter.

  
"I'm pretty sure Maxi gave Booms a raise after that," Bea adds when her laughter starts to fade, sending them all into hysterics all over again.

  
The faint sound of a phone ringing breaks Bea's laughter and she quickly moves to the coffee table in the living room to collect her phone, her face lighting up as she reads the screen.

  
"It's Debbie."

  
"Answer it," Allie urges her, observing the uncertain look upon her features as she glances at Allie and Franky.

  
"Is it OK? I haven't spoken to her in so long but I don't want to be rude..."

  
"Bea, it's fine, answer it," She says quickly, not wanting Bea to miss the call.

  
The redhead does as she's told and throws Allie a wink as she taps her screen, squealing her greeting as she hurries upstairs to speak to Debbie from the privacy of her bedroom.

Allie meets Franky's glance from across the table, both of them seemingly very aware that they're alone together, an awkward silence descending upon them for a moment.

Allie then stands and begins to collect their dishes and utensils.

  
"Leave that, I'll do it," Franky says kindly, standing to do the same.

  
"You cooked, it's only fair that I clean up."

  
"If you insist," Franky concedes. "Let me at least help though."

  
"I'll wash, you dry?"

  
"Deal."

  
They're quiet again as they go about their tasks in the kitchen.

  
"So how long have you known Bea?" Allie asks eventually.

  
"About 6 years I reckon. We met at the salon, she'd already been working there for a few years before I started."

  
Allie nods as she stacks a soapy dish on the draining board.

  
"And you met her at the gym?"

  
The memory of it brings an instant smile to Allie's lips. "Yeah, I tried hitting on her but she wasn't having any part of it whatsoever."

  
"Yeah I know, she's so fuckin clueless she had no idea you were even flirting with her. That's why it was me who got your number for her.   
If you'd have been waiting on Red to ask you out, you'd have dentures and saggy tits by the time she even realised what was happening."

  
Allie laughs softly, turning to meet Franky's green eyes as she passes her another plate.

  
"Thank you for doing that, by the way. I'm really grateful."

  
Franky manages a half grin and nods her head firmly in acknowledgment of Allie's gratitude.

  
"You're really into her, aren't ya?"

  
Allie's features soften, her eyes become hooded with her affection for Bea.

  
"I'm _so_ into her."

  
They let Allie's softly uttered words dwell in the air for a moment.

Franky turns her body to face Allie, leaning a hip against the kitchen cupboard.

  
"Look, I don't really do the deep and meaningful thing but I'm really glad she's got you. This is the happiest I've seen her in all the time I've known her."

  
Allie sighs in relief, the sound likened to a sob and Franky can see the genuine happiness that fills her eyes.

  
"That's so good to hear, you have no idea. It's kinda hard to know where I stand with her sometimes, she can be so guarded and closed off."

  
Franky nods knowingly. "Yeah well that's all Harry's doing, fuckin piece of work he was."  
  
She wipes the plate in her hand harder, Allie observing the sudden change in her body.

  
"I'd kind of gathered that he didn't treat her so nicely," Allie admits quietly.

  
Franky scoffs. "That's a fuckin understatement. He was such an asshole. And he was a fuckin good actor, I'll give him that. He charmed everyone into thinking he was king shit but I was always suspicious. All the cuts and bruises and sprains, no one is as clumsy as she claimed to be."

  
Allie stills and jerks her head, staring at Franky with furrowed brows.   
The intensity of her glance is lost on Franky who watches the towel in her hand swirling against the inside of a bowl.

  
"When I found her on the floor that day, covered in blood and on death's door, I wanted to kill the fucker."

  
"What?" Allie utters.

  
Franky glances up. Allie's face is thick with fearful disbelief, her eyes glassy.

  
"What?" Franky questions, baffled by the blonde's reaction.

  
Allie's rapid heart rate is visible in the heavy rise and fall of her chest.

She's motionless, her hands frozen in the soapy water.

  
"What did you say?"

  
Realisation suddenly hits Franky like a violent punch to the gut.

  
"Fuck," she utters, feeling just as frozen as Allie.

"She hasn't told you."

  
"Told me what?" Allie demands in a low voice. "What happened?"

  
The brunette dumps whatever she's holding onto against the bench before her. She inhales deeply, burying her fingers into her hair and lingering there.   
She paces, realising what she'd just done, what she'd just said.

  
"Franky? Franky!" Allie pleads frantically, tears stinging her eyes.

"Tell me!"

  
"You need to ask her that, I've already said too much."

  
"Please!"

  
Franky drops her hands to her sides, shaking her head.

  
"Fuck, you need to talk to Bea. You need to ask Bea."

  
Bea appears at the foot of the stairs, a smile on her lips, a lightness in her body.  
  


"Ask me what?"  
  
  
-  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea experiences the fallout from her secrets and lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers! Happy Wednesday!
> 
> Thank you all for your incredible comments and kudos and for being so patient for this next chapter!
> 
> Let me intro/prepare you for Chapter 13 with a quote-
> 
> All of this is temporary
> 
> X

  
Bea's eyes dart between Allie and Franky, her smiles drops.  
Allie's eyes are glassy, her skin pale. Franky's eyes are fixed firmly on the floor and there's a heaviness in her body.  
  
Without knowing why, Bea's heart begins to race.  
It's obvious something has happened.

  
"What's wrong?" She asks cautiously.

  
Silence hangs in the air for far too long for her liking.  
Franky crosses her arms firmly across her chest, dipping her head even further downwards.  
Allie shakes the water from her hands and turns her back and Bea is certain she sees the blonde wiping her eyes before she turns around again.  
Her crystal blue eyes trace over Bea's body slowly and for the first time, Bea notices that it's not a look of lust or adoration across her face, it's one of saddness and sympathy and danger.  
  
Her blood suddenly grows cold in her veins.  
This is the look she's been trying to avoid all this time, one that reminds her that she's damaged and fucked up.

  
"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Her voice is gravelly and far more controlled than it should be.

  
"I thought she knew." Franky says in little more than a whisper. "You two should talk."  
  
She moves quickly through the room, collecting her keys from the side table by the door and before Bea knows it, she's gone and its just her and Allie and the air between them, heavy and wretched.

  
"Allie what happened?" She asks after a painful silence, her heart thudding erratically.

  
Bea wants to move closer, to wrap her arms around Allie's slightly shaking body, especially when she sees her eyes filling with tears again but she hesitates.

  
"Franky said some things," Allie murmurs with a shaky voice.

  
As the words ruminate, Bea begins to piece things together.  
She doesn't want to make assumptions, so she presses, frowning.

  
"What things? What did she say?"

  
Allie swallows hard, looking almost guilty. "About Harry."

  
A horrible sensation of dread suddenly comes over Bea.  
Her limbs start to tremor with the effects of the adrenaline that runs through her.  
Hearing his name on Allie's lips feels like devastation, a violation of every tender moment they've shared together.

Anger rises inside of her, a dormant volcano suddenly awakening.

  
"What did she say to you?"

  
Bea's voice is low and demanding and she stares at Allie intensely, her jaw clenched.

Allie seems instantly intimidated by the shift in Bea. She winds her shaky hands in the hem of her shirt

  
"Not much," she hesitates.

  
"Allie, tell me what she said."

  
Allie presses her ample lips together, eyes trained on the floor as if she's trying to gather strength and composure.  
Her glance finds Bea's, swallowing hard.

  
"Just that... he... he hurt you."

  
The words cut like a knife.  
Bea scoffs, shaking her head as she tries to fan the anger that wants to erupt.  
There's panic racing around her body and she shakes and pants.  
She loses herself to her thoughts and the chaos that overtakes her in every way.

  
"Bea," Allie utters quietly, moving slowly towards her, trying to bring her back from the brink of panic with a collected tone.

  
Bea doesn't hear her name being called, she hears her heartbeat pounding loudly.  
She had intended on telling Allie about her history, but not like this.

  
"Bea, talk to me."

  
She comes back to herself then, noticing Allie is suddenly in front of her, trying to hold her glance and shaking lightly.

  
"There's nothing to say, Allie." She says with a shrug.

  
There's plenty to say, she knows that, she just doesn't know where to start or how to explain it.  
Her former resolve has all but disappeared, ripped away by a lack of control.  
The words she thought would come to her so easily have been pulled to pieces by her own hysteria.

Allie just stares, totally motionless and when Bea finally looks at her, she can see the desolation that creases her brows.

  
"We could talk about this Bea, you can trust me, if we just talked about it then maybe -"

  
"I dont want to talk about it," Bea snaps firmly.

  
"Ok," Allie says shakily, observing her growing irritability.

  
She waits a moment, hoping the silence brings some calm with it.

  
"You don't have to tell me, Bea.... but if there's something, anything that's going to come between us then maybe-"

  
"How dare you," she breathes.

  
She has no idea why she says it and as soon as she sees the way Allie winces as though the words have sliced through her very soul, she wishes she could take it back.  
But this fear that has overtaken her seems to be driving her, coercing her to fuck up the very thing that's keeping her going.

  
"How dare you force me to talk about something that I clearly don't want to talk about."

  
A small sob shakes Allie's chest, hitching her breath.  
Her light eyes begin to fill with tears again.

  
"I've never forced you to do anything. I have always been patient with you. I've always shown you respect. Haven't I?"

  
Allie's softly spoken words should be enough to break Bea out of it, but she feels so far gone now, so lost in this self-loathing spiral.

  
"So that's it, huh? You're here to fix me?" Bea's voice begins to grow in volume with the height of her anger.  
  
Allie couldn't appear any more hurt than she does now as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

  
"You think you can show me a little kindness and that I'll swoon because I'm so fucked up?  
That I'll open my legs for a bunch of flowers and a few nice words?"

  
Allie shakes her head in disbelief and denial, another tear chasing its way down her skin.

  
"Bea," she whispers with a kind of painful disbelief, pressing her lips together to stifle the way they quiver.

  
"Please... I know what you're trying to do."

  
"Bullshit!" Bea snaps, feeling her own tears building in the back of her throat.  
  
She's so close to losing control, to letting the raw emotion tear through her body.  
She doesn't want Allie to see it, any of it.

  
"You don't know anything about me, Allie."

  
Something snaps in Allie and she starts to fight back.

  
"I know enough to know how I feel about you," She says shudderingly.

  
Bea scoffs again, an ironic smile curling her lips.

  
"Fuck," she sighs, throwing her head back to look at the roof above her, as if her comment is comical.  
She shakes her head, staring at Allie intensely.

  
"Why are you still here?"

  
"Because I care about you, Bea."

  
Bea clenches her jaw, trying her absolute hardest to stop her own tears from invading her eyes.  
She'll say anything to get Allie out of here, to stop her from seeing her come undone.  
She presents a steely resolve, challenging her with a sudden hardness.

  
"That's a shame."

  
She can almost see Allie's heart breaking, a look of painful shock painting her expression.

  
"Go, Allie."

  
Allie muffles a sob behind the hand that she brings up to her mouth.  
To see her this upset makes Bea's heart ache, but she knows just how close she herself is to a breakdown of sorts and she's so used to dealing with emotion of this magnitude on her own.

  
"No," Allie sobs in a child like whimper, shaking her head firmly.

  
Bea inhales a breath, trying to collect herself.

  
"I want you to leave."

  
"Bea, please don't do this," she pleads.

  
Bea quickly moves to the front door, pulling the thick timber back in one hand as she points to the the darkness outside with the other.

  
"Get out, Allie, _now_."

  
Allie stands there motionless for a moment, gazing at the ground, one hand balled into a fist to her mouth, her other arm wrapped around herself.  
She concedes, her own emotions reaching their peak and she collects her bag from the ground before she rushes past Bea without a second look.

Suddenly, Allie is gone, possibly for the last time and Bea slams the door against the outside world.  
She thinks she hears Allie crying through the sounds of her own heavy exhalations.  
  
Finally, she gives in to the anguish.

Bea brings both of her hands up and she buries her fingers into the back of her skull, pulling harshly at her hair as if to punish herself for being so fucked up.  
She can feel the emotion that she had tried so hard to chase away rising up through her insides until it spills from her mouth, a loud, painful series of sobs that resonate through the otherwise quiet house.

Bea slides her back against the door, falling beneath the weight of her own despair.  
She pulls her knees into her chest and wraps her arms around them and cries, hard and unrestrained until her lungs ache.

_You're nothing, Bea_.  
  
Harry's voice plays like an affirmation in her head.

  
She may have withstood his brand of torture for far too many years, but in this moment, it's nothing in comparison to the pain she feels over what she has just done to Allie.

  
......

  
"Bea?"

She awakes the next morning to a gentle, familiar voice and a slight weight dipping the mattress beside her.  
As Bea tries to open her eyes, she feels the heaviness in her eyelids, swollen and puffy from excessive crying.

As her awareness of things comes to her slowly, she finds herself cuddling her pillow tightly and she feels light fingertips caressing her shoulder.

For a second, she thinks it's Allie and she's just about to press a sleepy kiss against whatever body part she can reach first.  
  
  
But then she remembers last night.

  
She gazes up to see Franky beside her, gazing down at her with a look so full of guilt and sadness, it instantly makes her want to cry.

  
"Are you OK?" she asks quietly.

  
Bea thinks to herself for a moment.  
No. She isn't OK.  
And she doesn't know when the fuck she'll be OK again, if ever.  
  
She doesn't know how long she sat against the front door last night, crying hysterically before she gave into exhaustion and pulled herself off the floor and fell into bed fully clothed.

Bea sits up a little, resting on an elbow.  
She shakes her head in response, distrusting the steadniess of her voice.

Franky slants her head, pressing her lips together in obvious regret.

  
"I'm so sorry," she breathes, tears gathering in the corners of her light eyes.

  
Bea shakes her head again, not accepting for even a second that any part of what had happened last night was Franky's doing.

  
"It's not your fault Franky," Bea whispers. "It's mine. I should have told her... and I shouldn't have lied to you."

  
Franky seems to calm a little at how suprisingly composed Bea is.  
She sniffs her tears away and rubs the back of Bea's hand gently.

  
"At least it's all out in the open now though, right?"

  
Bea drops her head, gazing blankly.

  
"Not exactly."

  
Franky tries to catch her gaze, her eyes darting over Bea's face in an effort to read her.

  
"What do you mean?" She asks with slanted brows.

  
Bea sighs heavily, thoughts of last night filling her mind.  
Her horribly harsh words, Allie's broken-hearted expression, the sound of her sobbing.  
Her bottom lip begins to quiver.

"Hey," Franky sighs, turning her body and bringing her legs up onto the bed, collecting Bea up in her arms and into a firm embrace.  
Bea allows herself to settle against Franky's chest as her friend cradles the back of her skull in the palm of her hand and wraps her other arm around Bea's shoulders.

  
"I fucked it all up, Franky," she manages through breathless sobs.

  
"You can fix it," Franky assures her.

  
Bea tries to shake her head but Franky's hand is firm against it.

  
"No, I said some horrible things, I doubt she'll ever forgive me."

  
Franky doesn't know what to say, what are acceptable questions to ask.  
She doesn't quite understand how Bea had managed to hurt Allie when she was supposed to tell her about her past.  
  
Franky just holds her like that, hushing her soothingly, catching every sob and shudder until she feels Bea's body begin to settle.  
Bea's hands eventually loosen from around Franky's body, and her friend pulls her long black sleeve over her fist and wipes Bea's tears away.

  
"I'm gonna call Maxi, tell her I'm staying here with you today."

  
"No," Bea rasps with a shake of her head, sitting up so she's shoulder to shoulder with Franky.

"I'll be fine."

  
Franky's green eyes take in the sight of her friend beside her, shoulders slumped as she wipes her eyes again, concern profuse in her own expression.

  
"Ok, but I'm gonna try come home during lunch to check on you."

  
Bea manages a tiny smile then, more than grateful for the supportive gesture.

  
"That's sweet but it's not necessary. I'm just going to stay in bed, go back to sleep, try to forget it all."

  
Franky sighs, throwing caution to the proverbial wind as she asks the question that's been playing on her mind.

  
"What happened, Red?"

  
She asks it quietly, already regretting the words as they leave her mouth, observing the way Bea simply stares blankly at some non particular spot on her quilt before her.

"She just wanted to know... and I shut down. I wasn't ready for her to know how fucking weak I am.  
I felt like I was ready to... I dunno, really _lose it_... I just didn't want her to see it... _me_ , like _this_.  
I just said whatever I could think of to get her out.... God Franky, I was such a fucking asshole."

  
She throws her head back against her padded headboard, lips pressed together to stop the quiver that wants to take over them.

Franky instantly extends her arm out to rub Bea's leg through the thick quilt that encapsulates her.

  
"Hey, you might have just rattled her but I highly doubt you scared her off for good."

  
Bea scoffs, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all, of how far fetched the idea is.  
  
  
"Allie fucking adores you, it's obvious when you're together. She can't keep her hands or her eyes off you."

  
She wants to believe it, that there's hope for them yet but her mind keeps throwing all of her horrible words around, letting them ring in her ears in between the sounds of Allie's painful cries.

  
"You still wanna be with her, right?"

  
There's no hesitation.

  
"Of course I do... but it doesn't matter what I want, she deserves so much better than me."  
  
  
"That's _bullshit_ and you know it Bea." Franky says firmly.

"Give yourself some time to cool off then go apologise to her. All of this that you're feeling? It's only temporary. Trust me."

  
Bea nods as if she's on auto-pilot, her head a mess of objection, of buts and what-ifs but she knows there's no point arguing, she'll only lose.

Franky rubs her leg again.

  
"You want me to make you some breakfast before I go?"

  
Bea shakes her head as she scoots back down into the warmth and safety of her covers, pulling them over her shoulder as Franky climbs off the bed, giving her friend one last, lingering gaze that's full of deep contemplation.

  
"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to stay with you?"

  
"I'm sure. Thanks Franky," she mumbles almost incoherently as she balls a quilt-covered fist against her chin.  
  
  
Franky leans down to press a kiss against Bea's forehead before she regretfully leaves the room, leaving Bea to ponder the weight of the devastation she's caused.

She's been in this predicament before, hiding from the world beneath the security of her covers, hiding her emotions and deep-seated scars.  
  
But this pain is new and all-consuming.  
It eats at her conscience and claws at her insides, filling her mind with a heavy, dark fog.  
She hates this feeling, like her skin is crawling, like she can't sit still, as though avoidance through sleep is her only safe relief.

Bea spends the day falling in and out of sleep.  
She wakes more than once thinking it was all a nightmare but feels the crush of disappointment when the groggy effects of sleep subside.  
It gets to the early afternoon when she finally ventures out of bed in search of something to curb her grumbling stomach when she descends the stairs, stopping abruptly when her brown eyes fall on the spot where she had effectively broken Allie's heart last night.  
Before she can truly lose herself in her depression, she hears her phone vibrating from somewhere close by.  
She reaches a hand into the back pocket of her jeans and pulls out her phone, realising it had been there ever since her conversation with Debbie last night.

Bea takes a deep, steadying breath as she reads the screen.  
There are so many notifications.  
Missed calls and text messages from Maxine and Franky, an email from Debbie but nothing from the person that she truly wants to hear from.

_Why would she want to talk to you?_ She scalds herself internally.  
  
If she wasn't so exhausted from crying all night and half the day, she's certain she would break down again.  
Instead she falls into her armchair, rubbing her aching temples with her fingertips, feeling totally spent and raw.  
As she glances around the room, she's reminded of the way things fell apart last night.  
One minute she was sitting at her dining table with her best friend and her girlfriend, laughing and having fun, the next... she doesn't care to recount it anymore.

Bea pushes up out of her chair, climbing the stairs up to her room with purpose, deciding impulsively to get out of the house and go for a ride on her motorbike in the hopes that it will bring her some solace.

  
.....

  
Hours pass before Bea finally decides to head back home.  
She doesn't know how long she's gone for exactly, having left her phone at home after sending Franky and Maxine a text message each, simply reading;

  
**Out riding my bike. I'm OK xx**  


She had ridden along every single scenic route she could think of and had even sat in the sand on the beach until the blue of the ocean reminded her of Allie's electric eyes, bringing a tear to her own when she realised she may not ever see them again.  
  
As dusk begins to fall, she sets off in the direction of home.  
She feels a little better but her thoughts are still heavy, her regret still in abundance.

As she pulls into her driveway, feeling her stomach ache with the dread she feels over returning to the scene where it all happened, she's suprised to find that Franky's car isn't there.

As she pulls the garage door down to the ground, locking her bike away for the night, she glances through the darkness across the street.  
Her eyes can make out a dark car parked outside her neighbour's house but it's too dark for her to distinguish a make or colour.

As she heads towards her front balcony, trying to find the correct key in the darkness, she hears a soft, familiar voice that stops her in her tracks immediately.

  
"Bea?"

  
She snaps her gaze up to see a figure sitting on the steps.

A figure with a head of blonde hair.  
  
  
-  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for all the angst.
> 
> I hope you all stick it out with me!  
> Without giving too much away,  
> things gets better from here on out 
> 
> X


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea's past is revealed  
> But how will Allie react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!
> 
> It's Wednesday yo!
> 
> Apologies in advance for a second week of angst.  
> It's really not my cup of tea but unfortunately it's Bea's experience.
> 
> Things get better from this chapter onwards. Promise.
> 
> XOXO

  
Bea's heart thuds wildly in her chest, her mouth gaping in suprise.

Allie stands slowly, her crystal gaze searching Bea's trying to gauge her reaction, seeking some flicker of hope in the redhead's strong features.  
But a lifetime of abuse at the hands of Harry has taught Bea how to appear stoic and unaffected and Allie's inability to read Bea paints her usually cheerful face with uncertainty.

Bea isn't sure how long they stand there in the darkness trying to decpiher one another, silence hanging between them in the cooling night air.  
Allie swallow hard, her eyes never leaving Bea's.  


"I know that you probably don't want to see me right now but I just needed to know that you're OK," Allie utters, her voice escaping her in barely a whisper, faltering on the last few words as she tries to tame her emotions.

Bea doesn't trust the strength of her voice so she shakes her head in reply.  


"Bea please," Allie begs, descending one stair, tears stinging her eyes.

"I know that what happened last night was intense but don't let it be the end, please.  
I can't lose you," she utters shakily as her emotions take hold of her and she buries her face into her hands.

Bea's bottom lip begins to quiver, the sight before her ripping at her aching heart as regret fills her every limb.  
She closes the distance between their bodies, wrapping her arms around Allie's softly quivering frame, holding her tightly as she hushes her soothingly.  


"Allie listen to me OK? I made a horrible mistake, I shouldn't have said those things to you.  
I wish I could take back every single word."  


She presses a kiss onto the top of Allie's head and the blonde pulls her hands away from her face and clasps them together over her chest, inhaling a deep breath that she releases slowly in an attempt to calm herself.

Bea presses her forehead to Allie's and brings her hands up to cradle the beautiful face in front of hers, gently wiping away the stream of tears that paints her cheeks.  
Allie's eyes are fixed firmly at her feet as she sniffles, her breath catching in her throat.

  
"You need to know that what happened, the way I reacted... it wasn't about you.  
What Franky told you, the memories of it... I was ashamed. And I didn't want you to see me fall apart," Bea admits as she feels her composure begin to crumble.  
  
  
Her raspy voice is shaky as a single tear rolls down her cheek.  
Allie watches it fall between them and brings a hand up to swipe away the wet trail it leaves on Bea's face.

  
"I'm so sorry Allie. I made you think that I don't want you but nothing could be further from the truth."

  
Allie surveys her deep brown eyes for a moment, Bea's words having a sobering effect on her as her breathing returns to normal and composure claims her again.  
Her eyes seem to search for permission to kiss Bea's still quivering lips, which she finds when Bea drops her own gaze to Allie's waiting mouth.

They kiss slowly and softly and Bea savours the small sigh that Allie utters as their lips meet.  
It feels as though it's been far too long since they last did this and Bea can feel it all, the relief, the adoration, the warmth, _everything_.

They each peel their eyelids back when they finally part as Allie pulls Bea's body in for a perfectly gentle hug.  


"Will you come inside with me?" Bea asks quietly.

  
Allie nods instantly, her eyes hooded with affection as she tangles her fingers with Bea's, entering the dully lit house with a kind of apprehension that makes Bea loathe herself all over again for what had transpired where they stand only a day earlier.  
  
Allie stands at the edge of the living room, hands clasped together nervously as Bea drapes her leather jacket over the kitchen bench and flicks on light switches and closes blinds.  
She gestures to the lounge, reading Allie's unease.  


"Do you wanna sit? I was thinking maybe we could talk."

  
She sees the flash of worry in Allie's features and moves to where she stands, taking the blonde's hands into hers, gently rubbing her thumbs over her knuckles.

  
"It's ok. I just.... I wanna tell you about everything."

  
"Bea, you don't have to talk about it, if it's too much for you we can-"

  
Bea cuts Allie off with a gentle kiss.

  
"I want to."

  
They settle on the lounge, bodies close to one another.  
Allie reaches for Bea's hand, gripping it firmly as she watches the change in the redhead's body.

  
"Bea, we don't have to do this now," Allie offers sympathetically.

  
It makes Bea's heart swell impossibly large within her chest, to be shown such patience and kindness and it makes her _want_ to open up.  
She knows she's safe here in this space with Allie.

  
"It's OK, I just don't know where to start."

  
Allie nods understandingly. "Would it help if I ask you questions?"

  
Bea nods after a moment's thought and watches as Allie takes a deep breath.

  
"When did it start?"

  
Bea trains her eyes on their joint hands, unable to meet Allie's gaze.

  
"Not long after Debbie was born. Around the same time he started drinking.... it started with a shove here and there when things got heated."

  
Out of her periphery, she can see Allie nodding slightly, allowing a moment of silence before she asks another question.

  
"But it got worse than that?"

  
"Yeah. The first time he hit me..." she falters, inhaling a breath, trying to think of a way that makes the abuse sound less brutal than it actually was.  
  
"...It was because Debbie woke up crying at 2am and I couldn't settle her. Poor little thing was teething.  
He had to work early that day and didn't get enough sleep and lost his temper."  


Bea can feel the emotions begin to rise up into her throat and burn at her eyes.  
She hears Allie swallow hard but still can't gather what she needs to look at her.  
There's another moment of silence between them.

  
"Did he ever hurt Debbie?"

  
"No, _God no_. I would never let that happen. I always made sure she was safe."

  
She feels Allie's thumb swiping shapes against the back of her hand and the instant comfort that the small gesture brings, lending her strength.

  
"He wasn't always a monster, he was actually a nice boy when I first met him.  
I always thought that he changed because he wasn't ready to be a parent so young.  
And then he fell in with the wrong crowd and started drinking heavily and going out every night.  
It got to the point where he was spending all of his wages on booze so I had to start working.  
But he ended up resenting me for it because things were falling by the wayside at home... little things like the cooking and cleaning."

  
"That can't have been easy on you, Bea. Having to juggle everything like that, especially with Debbie being so young," Allie says quietly.

  
She must notice the slight shiver in Bea's body because she untangles their hands and reaches past Bea, collecting her favourite red blanket from the other end of the lounge, wrapping them both in it's warmth.  
Her soft, warm hand finds Bea's beneath the blanket and she slips her fingers between the redhead's again.

  
"I managed, most of the time anyway. Deb's always been a good kid, self sufficient and independent." She smiles at the thought of her daughter.

  
"Did she know what was happening? What he was doing to you?" Allie almost doesn't want to ask, not wanting to erase the smile from Bea's face.

  
"Not for a long time, he never touched me when she was around to begin with. But as time went on he got more and more careless.  
She was about 12 or 13 when she started to put two and two together, I'd had a fair few hospital stays under my belt by that time."

  
Bea hears Allie draw in a shuddering breath, her hand tightening around her own beneath the blanket.  
It's a while before she speaks again and when she does, Bea can hear the quiver in her voice that she tries to surpress.

  
"What did he do to you to put you in hospital?"

  
Bea starts to struggle now, the violence of her past starting to truly unfold.  
She still isn't able to look at Allie, especially now that she can sense that the blonde is starting to really understand things.

  
"There were a few things.... fractures mostly... and a few broken bones, a few concussions.... and uhh, I had a punctured lung once."

  
Bea hears a soft whimper catch in Allie's throat and she dares to turn her head ever so slightly, seeing the hand that Allie brings up to her mouth to stifle it.  
For a moment, Bea wonders if she should stop, if she's said enough.  
The very last thing she wants to hear is the sound of Allie crying, it's a sound that's already haunted her for the last 24 hours.

  
"Was that... was that the worst of it?" Allie asks eventually.

  
Bea suddenly feels very heavy, a dreadful weight dragging deep inside her.

  
"No," she whispers, tears invading her eyes.

  
Allie shifts on the lounge, turning her body in Bea's direction as she reclines a little and wraps her long arms around Bea's body, pulling her down between the blonde's legs to lay against her, Bea's head falling onto her chest.  
Bea settles into the position comfortably, in awe of the support and warmth it conveys, grateful that she's unable to see Allie's expression.  
She places a hand against Allie's stomach and balls the other into a fist by her mouth.

"Harry had been on an all-night bender and stumbled home early in the morning. Luckily Deb had already left for school.  
He was the worst I'd ever seen him... he wasn't just drunk, he was high on ice."

  
Bea falters, effectively letting Allie know that what's to follow is much more difficult.

  
"He wanted me to make him breakfast and... I guess I wasn't doing it fast enough.  
I'm not quite sure how it all happened anymore, I was pretty badly concussed afterwards."

  
She can feel Allie's breath become more rapid beneath her.  
She swallows hard, trying to control the waiver in her voice, realising once she's told her story that she can't take it back.

  
"It wasn't the same as the other beatings, he was relentless, like he had superhuman strength.... I tried to get away but he'd... he'd dislocated my kneecap when he kicked it."

  
Bea hears a whimper fall from Allie's lips then the quick intake of air through heavy nostrils over the sound of her own shaky sigh.

  
"I saw him grab the knife, I just didn't think he would use it."

  
Allie's arms tighten around Bea's body, catching every shaky sob and whimper they both release.  
She utters Bea's name in a painful, pleading way.

  
"He stabbed you?" She asks in distress.

  
Bea nods her head because to say it out loud is far too much for her.  
Instead she cries, hard and unrestrained as Allie does the same.

  
"I rolled over right before he did it... the doctors said I was lucky I did or he would have damaged vital organs."

  
Allie rocks a little as she presses a kiss to Bea's head, her breath still coming in shuddering bursts.

  
"Baby," she whispers in a tone so sympathetic it makes Bea cry a little harder for a moment.  
  
  
Bea continues when she manages to compose herself by the smallest margin.

  
"He wasn't going to stop, he'd stabbed me 6 times before I saw him drop the knife on the ground beside me... that's when he started to unzip his pants-"

  
"Fuck," Allie whimpers.

  
"I _had_ to fight back... I couldn't lay there and take it... I took the knife and stabbed his leg until he fell over," a desolate cry escapes her, the memory of what she had to do to ensure her survival tearing at her insides, making them raw all over again.

  
"I passed out after that. When I came to, Franky was beside me, holding my hand.  
She came looking for me when I didn't show up at work.  
She was crying and shaking and yelling at Harry to shut the fuck up... he tried to tell her that it was the other way around, that'd I'd stabbed him first and he'd done it to me in self-defence...."

  
Allie kisses her scalp again as she continues to rock her, never loosening her grasp.

  
"Fucking asshole," she growls through gritted teeth.

  
"I had to do it Allie, I had to stop him-"

  
"I know baby, it's over with now, he'll never hurt you again, I promise you."

  
Bea wipes her tear-stained cheeks with the back of her hand before she grips Allie's shirt in her fists tightly, hanging on in an attempt to tether herself to the present.

  
"I'm a monster for what I did."

  
She feels Allie shaking her head above her, the action resonating through her entire body.

  
" _He's_ the monster, Bea. You did what you had to do to survive."

  
It's a relief like none that she has ever experienced before.  
Those few words lend her enough courage to face Allie and she turns in the embrace, laying stomach to stomach with Allie, only slightly lower.  
Her breath catches in her throat as she sees the blonde for the first time since they had sat down together.  
Her blue eyes are icy and red where they should be white, her lower lip still quivering with sadness.

Bea had expected Allie to look at her differently, as though the gravity of her admission would change their dynamic irreversibly.  
But she still sees the glimmer of affection amongst Allie's tears and the inevitable sadness they bring.  


"So you don't want to leave me?" Bea asks quietly, still afraid of the answer despite what she thinks she sees in the blonde.

  
Allie frowns for a moment before she brings a hand up to cradle Bea's face, her thumb swiping at a stray tear on the older woman's cheek.

  
"Is that what you thought would happen?"

  
Bea nods, consumed by a powerful shame.

  
"Bea, why would you think that?" Allie's voice is soft and gentle, depite the tremble that still resides there.

  
"Because you're young and beautiful and you deserve the world, not some fuck up like me.  
I'm a coward... and I have so many issues, I'll only be a burden on you.  
You deserve so much better, Allie."

  
Another sob tears through her already aching chest.  
Bea brings a hand up to cover her mouth.

  
"Bea listen to me," Allie says pleadingly, grasping at her body wherever she can with desperation.

"You're not a coward and you're not a burden. You're strong and brave and amazing.  
I don't want anyone else, I just want you."

  
She pulls Bea down against her again, holding her firmly until she calms considerably.  
Bea lays on top of Allie's warm body, fighting her negative thoughts.  
She so badly wants everything with Allie but her insecurities have taken up residence within her for as long as she can remember.  
Shaking their presence is something that will take more than a few beautifully spoken words and a desire to become everything that Allie deserves.

  
"Bea," Allie whispers after a long time, as she gently takes the older woman's cheeks into her palms, effectively pulling her out of her thoughts.

  
Allie connects their lips in a tender, adoring kiss and its then that Bea realises just how much she wants this.  
A warmth explodes through her body as Allie moves her lips against Bea's, her soft tongue drawing a line against the redhead's lower lip, asking for entry.  
Bea opens her mouth easily and Allie falls into the open space, tangling their tongues, sighing blissfully at the wonderful intimacy that the movement brings.  
  
Its as though Allie knows that words aren't enough to convince Bea that she truly wants her.  
  
As the blonde continues to slowly caress her mouth with a gentle intensity, Bea can't help but think that this kiss feels new.  
It communicates so many things; acceptance, affection and a depth of want that Bea has never experienced before.  
  
The tenderness of their embrace gives Bea a wonderful flutter in the depths of her stomach and begs her to cry.  
As Allie pulls away and lifts her eyelids, she glances at Bea with such affection, tucking a lock of hair behind Bea's ear.

  
"Do you believe me now?" Allie asks warmly in a whisper, her eyes soft with her apparent devotion.

  
Bea finally smiles then, the worry and heaviness all but erased from her mind.  
She nods as she watches her fingertips trace patterns against the soft cotton of Allie's shirt against her stomach.

  
"Thank you for telling me," Allie says quietly, her light eyes darting between Bea's face and her fingers.

  
"I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner... I just didn't want this to end. I know that we haven't known each other for that long, but you have no idea what you mean to me,"  
Bea utters without even a minute trace of the fear that usually disables her.  
  
Compared to her other admissions tonight, this one travels from her heart and spills from her mouth with ease.

Allie's eyes begin to well with tears again and Bea instantly slides up her body to reach her lips more easily.

  
"No more tears, beautiful girl," she whispers, cradling Allie's jaw as she leaves a gentle kiss against her lips and then one to each of her eyelids.

  
"These are good tears this time, I swear. After last night, I was so scared I'd lost you.  
You mean more to me than I care to admit."

  
Bea's chest suddenly feels like its aflame as she surges forward and captures Allie's mouth in a hot, wet kiss, the blonde releasing a soft whimper as their tongues glide gently against each other's and Bea grips onto Allie's side with a neediness that is new to her.

As they part, Bea nuzzles into the space between Allie's chest and chin, smiling to herself as the blonde firmly wraps her arms around her body again, delighting in the way things have turned out, appreciating the deep contrast of things from earlier to now.  
  
_Everything_ feels different.  
  
Every touch, every kiss, even the way her girlfriend's words find her ears.  
There's nothing holding Bea back now, no secrets, no lies and as she searches herself, seemingly no trepidation.  
  
Her heart begins to beat with a warm intensity.

  
"God, being with you like this feels so good," Allie breathes before pressing a kiss to Bea's scalp.

  
"I don't want this moment to end."

  
Without thought, seemingly influenced by a higher need, Bea replies,

  
"It doesn't have to."

  
Allie stills beneath her and Bea is certain she can hear the younger woman's heart skip a beat in the ear she has pressed against her chest.

She lifts her head to find Allie's gaze filled with unspoken questions, her ocean blue eyes hooded with a deep affection.  


  
"Allie, stay with me tonight."

  
-  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie spend the night together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry I'm a little late with this week's post, sometimes life is a little crazy.  
> I hope you enjoy chapter 15!
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to say to all of my real-world friends who are following this:  
> please understand that for the next several days, I will be physically incapable of making eye contact with you
> 
> X

  
"Are you sure?" Allie asks quietly, her chest visibly heaving beneath the strain of her heavily beating heart.

  
"Positive. If you want to," Bea replies softly, suddenly slightly unsure of the significance of Allie's apprehensive expression.

  
"Of course I do," Allie smiles, caressing Bea's cheek with her fingertips.

  
"I'd love nothing more than to hold you while we sleep."

  
And just like that, Bea feels a wave of relief come over her.   
Although she wants to get intimate with Allie, her few simple words have communicated that there's no pressure, no expectation.

  
And it only makes Bea want her more.

  
She smiles widely before she untangles their bodies from the blanket and pulls Allie to her feet.   
She retains her grip on Allie's hand as she leads her up the stairs and into her bedroom, switching off lights as they make their way through the house.

As Bea flicks the light on in her room, Allie surveys the space.

  
"It looks different with the lights on in here," she says playfully, reminding Bea of their heated makeout against her bedroom wall.

  
Bea chuckles. "And you made it past the first wall."

  
"I feel very lucky," Allie replies with a broad smile.

  
Bea slips her hands around Allie's waist and presses a brief kiss to her lips.   
  
"I'll get you something to wear," she utters before she disappears into her walk-in robe.

Allie flops down onto the foot of the bed, kicking off her boots and unbuttoning the first few top buttons on her white work shirt.   
Bea emerges a moment later wearing a long, loose fitting t-shirt and short sleep shorts that are obscured by the length of her shirt and hands Allie an oversized t-shirt.

Allie's eyes travel up and down Bea's body in appreciation of the amount of bare skin she can see, a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips.

  
"I'll give you some privacy," Bea offers with a grin, clearly aware of Allie's prolonged stare.

  
"That's really not necessary," Allie says but Bea is already halfway to the ensuite, shutting the door behind her as she follows her usual pre-bed ritual of teeth brushing, toilet   
and trying to tame her curls.

When Bea re-enters the room, Allie is waiting on the edge of the bed wearing Bea's shirt, hands in between her knees which Bea finds her eyes gravitating towards.   
It's not the first time she's seen Allie's exposed legs and thighs but her heart still skips a beat.

Allie stands to greet her, winding an arm around her back as she kisses Bea's cheek gently.

  
"I'll just be a sec babe," she says before she too disappears into the bathroom.

  
"There's a spare toothbrush in the cupboard under the sink," Bea throws over her shoulder as she moves to turn down the bed, climbing beneath her cool sheets and reaching across her bedside table to collect her phone.

  
She's relieved to see a message from Franky as she notices that its after 10pm.

  
**Came back 2 ur place 2 find Blondie on the front steps, figured u 2 need 2 sort sum shit out so I'm staying at Maxi's 2nite. We rebooked ur clients 4 tomor so don't bother coming in, unless its 2 tell us all about how u lovebirds made up n ate each other's pussies all night ;)**   
**B brave n go get ur girl, Red!**

  
Bea smiles widely to herself, surpressing a giggle as Allie re-enters, smiling as she notices the redhead's expression.

  
"What's that for?" She asks, gesturing to Bea's smile.

  
"Franky text me. The girls have rescheduled my clients tomorrow so I've got another day off. And apparently she ran into you on the front steps?"

  
Allie turns the overhead light off and walks around to the other side of the bed, sliding beneath the sheets and closely beside Bea, the low light of the bedside lamp filling the room with a gentle luminosity.

  
"Yeah, she may or may not have copped the full force of an Allie Novak panic attack," she giggles as she rests her hand on Bea's quilt-covered thigh.   
  
"I kinda blurted everything out. I'm not surprised she's fled to Maxine's for the night."

  
Bea deposits her phone back on her bedside table, her expression stricken with guilt.   
She finds Allie's hand and grips onto her with intensity.

  
"I'm so, so sorry, Allie."

  
"No more. You've already apologised and I've already forgiven you," she says sweetly.

  
Bea smiles then, realising just how fortunate she is to be here in this moment with beautiful, patient, gentle Allie.   
Her eyes linger on her angelic face and the blonde leans in and rewards her with a gentle kiss.

  
"Let's go to sleep, I want to hold you close to me."

  
Her whispered words encourage a tingle low in Bea's stomach as she watches Allie slide down beneath the sheets, coming to rest on her side, one hand tucked beneath the pillow and the other resting on her own hip.   
Bea turns the lamp off and works her way down beneath the covers, mirroring Allie's position.   
She glances at her girlfriend in the darkness, her eyes are open and fixed on Bea's, a smile just visible on her ample lips.

  
"Turn around," she urges quietly and Bea finds herself eager to comply, fuelled by her excitement that they've reached this new level of intimacy.   
Allie moves even closer, pressing her body firmly into Bea's back as she slides a warm hand onto Bea's hip, humming in delight at the closeness of their bodies.

  
"I knew you'd make the perfect little spoon," she whispers against Bea's ear, heating the older woman's body as she releases an airy giggle.

  
A moment of silence passes them by as Bea simply enjoys the intimacy of their position.

  
"Good night beautiful girl," Bea whispers eventually, pulling Allie's hand up to press a gentle kiss to her fingers.

  
"Good night Bea. Sweet dreams, beautiful."

  
.....

  
Bea _tries_ to sleep.   
She really does try.   
She's been laying here for over an hour now, thoroughly distracted by the feeling of Allie's fingertips tracing circles against her hip bone and the feeling of her warm body pressed firmly against her back.   
She feels like her body is on edge for entirely different reasons than she's used to.   
She feels as though she's waiting for Allie to make a move.   
If she only brushed her fingertips slightly lower or moved slowly against her, that would be all it would take for the bittersweet warmth within her to burst and hurtle through her body, giving her a reason to turn around and show Allie the depth of her desire.

Bea knows Allie is still awake by the shallowness of her breath and her gentle touch.   
She wonders if Allie is as bad off as she is, if she too is laying there tossing up whether or not to make a move, to cross into new territory.

Bea inhales deeply, slowly, so as not to disturb the placement of their bodies too much.

  
"Are you awake?" Allie whispers so quietly that Bea barely hears it over the long breath she releases steadily.

  
Bea decides, instead of speaking her reply, to turn around to face her and she can just make out her features in the fractured moonlight that peers through the half-closed blinds.   
Allie's lips pull back into an encouraging grin and she slides her hand up Bea's side to gently push away her hair from her face and neck.

  
It's a simple gesture, but it's all that Bea has been waiting for.

  
She leans forward to meet Allie's waiting lips, pressing a wonderfully soft kiss to them as she brings a lightly shaking hand up to rest against the soft space between Allie's neck and jawline.   
Allie sighs against her mouth and the sound, amplified in the otherwise quiet room, gives Bea a gentle flutter between her thighs.   
Allie's warm hand is soft against Bea's hip until the redhead circles her tongue against Allie's lower lip, a polite request for entry which Allie grants immediately.   
Her gentle hand closes, gathering a handful of Bea's shirt within her fist as she draws in a breath through her nose.   
As their tongues glide together for a countless time since they've met, Bea finds her body warming rapidly, knowing where it's all headed, knowing there's no distractions or secrets getting in their way.   
  
It's just them, laying perfectly together, wanting to share their affection for one another.

Before she can lose herself to her thoughts, Bea feels Allie smile against her mouth.

  
"I guess you are awake," she whispers, amusement obvious in her tone.

  
Bea feels a tingle in the base of her stomach, pulling at her core as Allie draws circles against the inch of bare skin she's found on Bea's hip, her expression brimming with affection.

  
"I couldn't sleep even if I was trying to," Bea rasps, rolling a strand of blonde hair between her fingers.

"I love feeling you this close to me."

  
Allie's chest heaves and her expression slackens, void of any smile or jest.   
She takes the smallest moment to search Bea's eyes before she leans back in, kissing Bea sweetly.   
Her fingers splay against Bea's hip, gently squeezing before she works them beneath Bea's shirt only just so, each sighing when the blonde strokes her fingertips against warm skin and quivering muscles.  
When Allie eventually pulls away to inhale a much needed breath, Bea's arm slips beneath Allie's, her hand pressing against Allie's shoulder blade as her lips find Allie's soft pulse point, dragging a long sigh from the blonde's mouth.   
Allie grips the back of Bea's neck, gently but firmly holding her there.

  
"Jesus Bea," she sighs almost helplessly, her eyelids fluttering shut as she arches deliciously into the hot kisses that Bea trails down her neck.

  
"Being with you like this in your bed..."

  
Allie's words are lost against Bea's mouth as the redhead leans up into her lips again, kissing her with a passion that pulls a gentle moan from the younger woman's throat.  
The sound sends a powerful jolt of bittersweet heat through Bea's body, a rush of warm adrenaline shaking her limbs.  
As her mouth traces over Allie's with a slow delicacy that could almost bring Bea to tears, she finds herself aware of Allie's resistance, the way her long fingers remain in safe places, communicating her consideration and respect.   
  
Bea suddenly realises that if she doesn't voice her desires, they're likely to spend the better part of the night simply making out and touching one another with a politeness that Bea has grown incredibly awestruck of.   
As Allie buries her fingers into Bea's hair, breathing heavily against her mouth, Bea swallows a nervous lump that rises into her throat, drying her mouth and making her palms slick.

  
"Allie?" she breathes against the blonde's lips.

  
Allie hums with a questioning inflection, moving her lips to the soft skin on Bea's jawline, dangerously close to the place where Bea remembers enjoying her kisses the most.   
She inhales deeply, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat.   
She deliberates her words, almost whincing at the very idea that she has to be the one to broach them.   
But as Allie's hot, wet mouth finds the tender skin against Bea's neck, her body responds of it's own accord, writhing wonderfully as her moan fills the air around them, much louder than Bea had intended it to be.

  
"I'm ready."

  
Allie freezes, pulling back slowly to study Bea's eyes in the darkness, her expression blank.   
When Bea begins to feel shy beneath the intensity of her stare, her own gaze falls to Allie's full lips and she's just about to lean into them when Allie runs a shaky thumb across Bea's cheek.

  
"Are you sure?" She asks quietly, feeling the heavy implication of her words.

  
Bea doesn't know where she finds her sudden courage or where the words come from, she doesn't care to know.   
She simply smiles warmly as she pushes a stray lock of golden hair out of Allie's angelic face, knowing exactly what she wants.

  
"You don't need to ask. I'm all yours, beautiful girl."

  
Allie's chest heaves at the gravity of Bea's words and her eyes glaze with tears.   
She moves in without hesitation and kisses Bea softly, her warm tongue exploring her mouth with a haste that speaks the true depth of her surrender.  
She wastes little time pressing her lean body firmly into Bea, gripping her hips and moving against her until Bea is laid on her back and Allie is on top of her, one of her thighs slipping between Bea's legs.   
Bea winds both arms around Allie's waist, holding her securely against her, heart thrashing fiercely in her chest as she feels the heat within her deepen.   
Allie's hand, that was tame and controlled a moment ago slides slowly up Bea's side and across her breasts and Bea moans quietly, the sound stifled by Allie's insistent mouth and tongue.   
Her hand drags back down Bea's stomach, taking what feels like too long to arrive at it's final destination.   
Allie groans into Bea's open mouth as her fingers work their way beneath the hem of Bea's shirt, sliding along taunt, heated skin and trembling muscles until her fingertips trace over something with a texture that causes Allie to pause and still her hand for a moment.   
She pulls back, her stormy eyes switching between Bea's, worry apparent in her expression, wondering if she had disturbed the beauty of the moment.

  
"Is that where he...?"

  
She asks it quietly, as though she doesn't want the memory of it to bring Bea back to an emotional brink.

The scars on Bea's abdomen, once deeper and coarser, now smaller and smoother and fading a little more with each passing day, just like the ghost of Harry's existence.

Bea nods lightly as her breath catches in her chest, holding there.   
Allie seems to ponder her reaction, her expression void of the sympathy and judgement that Bea had once foolishly feared would be there.

Allie slides down her body, bending her neck as she pushes Bea's shirt up a little.   
She presses her lips gently against the damaged tissue, her warm hands closing around Bea's hips in a gesture so gentle and devoted, Bea feels a warm tear slip from her eye.   
She brings her hands down to cradle Allie's head, pulling at her gently.   
She's truly moved by Allie's action and Bea needs to kiss her, to allow her to feel all the gratitude, passion and affection .

As Allie glances up at Bea, she can see Allie's own tears, glistening against her cheeks as they refract the moonlight.  
As if compelled by some higher force, Bea realises that a kiss isn't enough to convey the depths of her feelings.   
As their lips touch tenderly, Bea works her hands between their bodies causing Allie to shift a little and come up onto her knees.   
As comprehension strikes Allie, she pulls back to watch, open-mouthed, chest heaving with laboured breath as Bea works herself up onto her elbows and pulls her shirt over her head slowly and drops it to the floor.   
She's blushes as Allie's eyes trace over her, drinking in the intoxicating sight of Bea's naked torso.   
Allie bites her bottom lip sensually and her fingertips follow her gaze, leaving goosebumps in their wake.   
Bea's breath catches in her throat as Allie's hands gently cup her breasts, thumbs lightly brushing her hardened nipples.   
She arches up and catches Allie's lips in a passionate kiss.   
When Allie eventually manages to pull herself away, she peels her own shirt away from her body.   
It's not the first time she's seen Allie's perfect chest, but Bea still finds herself swallowing hard, mesmerized by the blonde's flat stomach and round breasts.   
Allie's expression is softened with desire and her chest is flushed pink.   
She watches Bea's dark eyes exploring her skin when she suddenly notices her become self conscious and her gaze falls away.  
Allie places a gentle hand beneath her chin, angling her face up, her wild eyes searching Bea's.

  
"Are you OK?" she whispers thoughtfully.

  
Bea swallows hard again and her voice escapes her even raspier than usual.

  
"Yeah, it's just... I've never seen anyone so perfect."

  
Allie fights the tears that sting her eyes, forcing herself to smile through the emotion.

  
"Besides yourself," she whispers warmly, her thumb swiping across Bea's bottom lip.

  
Bea shakes her head and starts to protest but Allie silences her with a soft kiss.   
When they part, the blonde rests her forehead against Bea's, cradling her strong jawline.

  
"Trust me. You're exquisite Bea."

  
Bea smiles and wills her own tears away as they kiss with an untamed passion.   
They kiss like that for so long, hands gliding against exposed skin, fingertips brushing hardened nipples, igniting Bea's body with a pleasantly burning fire.   
A soft sigh escapes Allie's throat as Bea's warm hands press against her back, pushing their bodies close together.   
The bittersweet ache in Bea's lower abdomen is building and her heart, thrashing wildly, skips a beat when Allie's fingers travel lower, brushing her outer hips and lingering over her underwear.   
Allie pulls back, face flushed with desire and she delights in seeing the same desire in Bea's expression.

  
"Can I take these off?"

  
Bea's breath hitches. She knew it had all been building to this moment but now that it's here she's suddenly apprehensive.   
Allie sees the flicker of fear in her eyes and rests a hand on Bea's cheek.

  
"We can stop if it's too much."

  
There is no part, no facet nor yearning in Bea that begs her to stop.   
Her anxiety is fleeting as she gazes into Allie's gentle features, knowing that with her, she is completely safe, in every possible context of the word.   
As if her desire can no longer be containted, Bea surges forward and catches Allie's lips in a soft but brief kiss as she covers Allie's hands and guides them back down to the hem of her underwear.

  
"Are you sure?" Allie gasps.

  
Bea doesnt trust the integrity of her voice so she simply nods emphatically.   
Allie climbs off her lap and sits on her heels beside Bea, hooking her fingers into Bea's underwear and sliding them slowly down her legs before dropping them to the floor.   
Bea's heart beats so forcefully she can feel it in her fingertips and hear it in her ears.   
Allie swallows hard as she positions herself over Bea who trembles with anticipation.   
She captures her lips in a long, slow kiss as her fingertips make an equally long, slow journey from Bea's chest, down her stomach and over her hips.   
As Allie reaches lower, Bea parts her legs, giving Allie access when she finally feels Allie's fingers slide through her wet core with ease, making them both gasp.

  
"Oh God Bea."

  
The feel of Allie's gentle fingertips softly stroking her fills Bea's core with a sweet tingling sensation, something brand new and wonderfully surreal.   
Bea tangles her fingers in Allie's hair and pulls her in for a passionate kiss, her body struggling to contain the pleasure she feels.   
Soft pleading sounds catch in her throat as Allie's fingers circle her clit slowly, a quiet disbelief gracing her as her hips start moving rhythmically of their own accord, chasing every possible tendril of pleasure.   
Allie lets her mouth slowly devour Bea's neck and earlobe and she enjoys the way Bea writhes beneath her, a loud moan escaping her lips.   
The sound seems to affect Allie as her cheeks flush a little deeper.  
After a little while, she moves her touch further down, circling Bea's entrance.

  
"Bea, I wanna be inside you."

  
Bea's stomach flips, her breath catches in her throat.

  
"Please," she manages to whisper.

  
Allie gazes down at Bea, overcome with adoration as she places a soft kiss on Bea's lips before she lets her mouth trail down her chest, placing hot kisses along her flushed skin.   
She bends down further and rolls her tongue around Bea's nipple, the redhead crying out in delight, grabbing Allie's scalp and holding her there.   
Allie drags her index finger back up to trace the hood of Bea's clit once more before she moves back down and enters her slowly, watching Bea's mouth open wider with every millimetre that she inserts.   
She allows her time to adjust to the feeling of her single finger, locking eyes, looking for permission before she moves delicately inside her.

  
Bea arches up to reward Allie's mouth with a hot kiss.   
The way she moves slowly tells Bea that she's in no rush for a conclusion, that she only wants to show Bea the depth of her affection.   
Bea's lips find the soft skin on Allie's neck and she pulls a whimper from the blonde's ample lips.   
With every gentle push of her finger, Bea feels the sweet warmth inside of her building.

  
"Oh...Allie," she moans breathlessly.

  
Allie responds by kissing her purposefully, her warm tongue dancing deliciously with Bea's.   
She clings to Allie's neck, her whole body ablaze.

  
"God Bea, you're amazing," Allie murmurs, transfixed by the pleasure that's visible on Bea's face.

  
She can feel something building within her, starting in the base of her stomach, a place where all of the heat and wonderfully sweet sensations seem to reside.  
Allie withdraws her finger and just as Bea is about to protest, she feels Allie enter her again but it feels like more this time, a second finger that Bea's walls cling to and pull at, inviting them deeper inside.   
She gasps as Allie begins to move in and out of her again, slightly faster but just as gentle.   
Bea's walls begin to tighten around her touch and Allie swipes her thumb across Bea's clit in a perfectly synchronised movement that makes Bea forget all other things.   
She can only focus on the pleasure she feels, her moans becoming faster and louder until suddenly the bittersweet warmth explodes like a volcano up through her limbs, so powerful it shakes her helpless body, pulsating through her clit like nothing ever has before.  
Her sweet, pleading moans echo in the otherwise quiet room as Allie curls her fingers inside and coaxes every ounce of pleasure possible.   
Bea clings to her, body shuddering and breath strained as her orgasm rocks her to her very core.

  
Allie holds her tightly with her other arm, smiling to herself as Bea's body eventually stills and then she notices the tear rolling down her cheek.

  
"Are you alright?" She whispers, swiping it away with her thumb and leaving a gentle kiss in its wake.

  
Bea nods lightly, convinced she'd be more embarrassed by her emotion if she wasn't so physically spent and awash with a calmness that's unfamiliar to her.

  
"I'm just happy."

  
Allie withdraws her fingers slowly and brings her in close, the redhead nuzzling into her warm neck.   
Bea is overcome with a deep affection for Allie as she holds her tightly, experiencing the buzz of euphoria coursing through her body, relaxing her and electrifying her all at once.   
She allows herself to truly indulge in this new kind of blissful gratification that she never knew existed.   
She feels it in her every limb, reaching the tips of her fingers, echoing throughout her body like nothing before.   
Allie traces slow, lazy fingertips along Bea's side, smiling as her eyes drink in the sight of Bea's warm, spent body draped over hers.

Bea wants to delve into her own mind, to relive it all, analyse the deeper meaning of it all.   
But she's just so spent, lulled into a kind of pleasure coma that doesn't permit her to even think at present.   
She simply closes her eyes to truly appreciate the feeling of Allie, so warm and soft beneath her and the way her breath begins to normalise.

  
"Bea?" Allie whispers eventually.

  
"Hmm?" she replies quietly, not aware that they had gone several minutes without moving or speaking.

  
"Where'd you go?"

  
Bea presses her lips to Allie's chest, feeling her heart beating soundly beneath her kiss, before she meets Allie's light glance.

  
"I was just thinking about you."

  
"Really? Can I ask what you were thinking?"

  
Bea rolls onto her stomach, perching herself up on her elbows, assuming the perfect vantage point to gaze into Allie's ocean blue eyes which she can see faintly in the fractured darkness.

  
"I was thinking about how good you make me feel, how lucky I am that fate put us both in the cardio room that day," Bea says quietly.

  
Allie tangles her fingers in the red-brown curls that frame her slightly blushed face.

  
"All the shit I've faced in the past... it's like you're my reward, my light at the end of that horrible, dark tunnel.   
I'd go through it all again at a moment's notice if it meant I could have you."

  
It's incredibly deep and embarrassingly sentimental but after what they had just shared, it feels right.   
Allie's eyes are soft and filling with tears as she's overcome with tenderness.   
She leans down and captures Bea's lips in a passionate kiss, opening her mouth to let Bea in.   
Bea is powerless against the gentle moan that escapes her mouth, echoing in Allie's as she slides her palm along Allie's stomach, enjoying the feeling of the warm, soft skin beneath her hand.   
She notices the blonde squirming a little, clenching her thighs together before she pulls away much too soon for Bea's expectation and liking.

  
"Did I say the wrong thing?" She asks quietly, tone abundant with worry.

  
"No Bea, trust me, no one has ever said anything like that to me before.  
I can't even begin to tell you how deeply touched I am."

  
Allie runs her fingertips down the side of Bea's face, effectively erasing her worried expression.

  
"It's just that... I'm a little.... worked up," she says in a half sigh, half giggle.

  
Bea's surprise couldn't be more evident. "Really?"

  
"Yeah really. Kissing you, touching you, it really turns me on. You must have known, despite how restrained I've tried to be around you."

  
Bea blushes harder, surpressing a smile as she dips her head, trying to rationalise how she's able to affect somebody in such a way.   
Allie's finger beneath her chin brings her back into her blue gaze.

  
"Hey, I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything though, please don't think that's what I'm getting at. I want you to feel ready and comfortable when it does happen," Allie says sweetly.

  
"That sounds boring for you," Bea says with a frown.

  
"Trust me Bea, it gives me an entirely different pleasure to get to watch you come like that."

  
Bea's stomach somersaults at the explicitness of Allie's words and she thinks her shock must be evident on her face.   
As Allie opens her mouth to apologise, Bea leans in, falling into the open space with a whimper as their tongues glide against each other's once more.   
Bea marvels at how seeing Allie so sexually wound up is making her feel kind of excited and then the realisation that she is actually turned on hits her hard, filling her with a kind of romantic adrenaline.

  
Fuck being inexperienced. She wants a taste of what Allie described.

  
Allie sighs hard against Bea's lips as she feels the redhead's fingertips lightly brush down her throat, dragging torturously slowly and softly down her chest and between her breasts.   
Bea feels Allie's hand close over the top of hers, halting her movements.

  
"Bea, you don't have to," Allie whispers sweetly.

  
It takes little effort for Bea to gather the courage she needs.

  
"I wanna touch you," she whispers hotly.

  
Allie's mouth opens briefly then closes again as she processes Bea's words.   
  
  
"Do you feel like you're ready?" She whispers, her long fingers playing with a strand of Bea's hair again.   
  
  
Bea nods, smiling at the way Allie's chest heaves and she tries to hide the sudden tremble in her limbs.   
Allie gives in then, leaning in and kissing Bea sensually and she can feel Allie's hesitation fall away as their kiss grows deeper and more passionate.   
Bea takes this as confirmation and she moves slowly, easing her body down onto Allie's.  
The blonde gasps at the contact and wraps her arms around Bea's waist, her body shaking lightly with anticipation.   
Bea slips her thigh between Allie's legs and can't help but moan when she feels the warmth of Allie's centre against her skin through her soaked underwear.   
  
  
"Do you feel that?" Allie utters heatedly.

  
Bea can only nod, amazed by the effect she has on her girlfriend, feeling buoyed by it.  
Her fingertips sweep against the curve of her left breast, cupping her gently before she circles her hardened nipple with her thumb, eliciting a long moan from Allie.  
She cradles Bea's face, pulling her in for another steamy kiss.  
When they finally part, Allie's eyes search Bea's.  
  
  
"You don't have to do anything, Bea, we can stop at any time."  
  
  
It's a wonderful concept, to know that Allie is so demonstrably turned on but is still willing to put Bea's comfort before her own needs.   
Bea swallows visibly before pressing her lips to Allie's neck, sliding her hand down Allie's smooth, flat stomach, drawing a long, loud breath from the blonde.  
Bea's fingertips stop at the waistband of Allie's underwear, looking into her blue eyes for permission which she finds in a passionate kiss.  
Bea swallows her apprehension and removes her underwear, inhaling a deep breath as she lets her fingers explore and Allie parts her long legs wider.  
Bea's fingertips slide easily into her swollen, wet core, gasping at how hot and drenched Allie is.   
She is mesmerized by it, almost forgetting what she's meant to be doing.   
Allie's fingertips grip her shoulder blades firmly, her head thrown back against the pillow as a long sigh is drawn from her body.  
  
  
"Oh Bea," she moans almost helplessly.  
  
  
Bea glances up at her, her own mouth open in sheer surprise at the reactions she's eliciting, the pleasure etched in Allie's expression.   
She begins to circle Allie's clit softly and slowly and Allie's hips begin to undulate with Bea's movements, her breath coming loud and faster than usual.  
Bea finds herself entranced by Allie, she watches as her eyelids fall, feeling everything.   
Overcome with lust, Bea plants a kiss on her body.  
  
  
"Allie you're so beautiful."  
  
  
She opens her eyes to see Bea gazing at her like she hung the moon in the sky, a gaze so full of tender emotion she's clearly moved by it.   
Allie arches her neck and kisses her tenderly, moaning into her mouth.   
  
  
"Is this still OK?"   
  
  
Bea swipes her tongue against Allie's lips and she's rewarded with another moan.   
  
  
"It's more than OK. You're wonderful, Allie."  
  
  
Allie grins against Bea's mouth before another moan leaves her lips and her stomach begins to shudder with the ecstacy that's building within her.   
She pulls back when her breath becomes uncomfortably strained, sucking in a deep breath before meets Bea's darkened stare.   
  
  
"Babe," she gasps. "I'd love to feel you inside me. If you're ready for that. "  
  
  
Bea doesn't hesitate, desperate to give Allie the release she deserves.   
She moves her slightly shaking hand lower and her fingertips slide deliciously into her tight entrance, saturated with her want for Bea.   
They sigh together, Allie finally relieved to feel Bea where she needs her.  
Bea marvels at how tight and hot Allie is, her walls holding her grasp firmly inside her.   
She starts thrusting her fingers gently, trying to mimic the way Allie had touched her earlier.   
She's rewarded with Allie moaning and writhing beneath her touch.   
  
  
"That's it Bea, just like that."  
  
  
Bea can't concentrate on anything else, her other hand stills against Allie's breast.  
The sounds of Allie's breathy sighs mixed with her own ignite a fire that heats her entire body.   
  
  
"I'm getting close."  
  
  
Bea can feel the sting of exertion in her forearm as she thrusts into Allie but there's no way she's stopping, knowing Allie's orgasm is within reach, propelling her to move a little faster and more purposefully.   
She remembers to use her thumb and as she gently brushes it over the blonde's swollen clit, she feels her walls respond and enjoys Allie crying out her name in pleasure.  
Bea's cheeks flush a deeper red, letting herself get wrapped up in the moment, she feels her own groin throbbing and she keeps pushing.

  
"Oh my God Allie," she utters and buries a kiss in the curve of Allie's neck.   
  
  
When she hears Allie's breathing change and become harsher, Bea lifts her head to watch it all happen, to see the moment of ecstacy that forces Allie's head to fall back as her eyes clamp shut.  
Bea is overtaken by amazement as Allie climaxes, the blonde arches up then shudders beneath her, transported to pure pleasure as she pants hard and moans beautifully.   
The feeling of Allie's pulsating walls clamping down around her fingers only adds to her wonderment.   
She could cry because its all just so beautiful.   
When Allie's body finally begin to settle and she withdraws her fingers, Allie rolls slowly onto her side and Bea onto hers so they are facing each other and Allie presses herself against her body, her long arms wrapping around Bea tightly.   
She snuggles into the space between Bea's chest and chin, grinning in satisfaction that she fits perfectly there.   
Bea presses a kiss into her crown and smiles as she inhales the scent that is uniquely Allie.  
They lay there like that for God knows how long, heartbeats normalizing, both content simply existing with one another.   
  
  
"Are you sure you haven't done that before?" Allie asks after a long silence.   
  
  
Bea smiles wider, gripping her body tighter.  
  
  
"I promise you that was a first for me."

  
"You could have fooled me," Allie giggles lightly, the sound making Bea's heart swell.

  
"I think you're just being overly kind to me."  
  
  
"There's no such thing as overly kind when it comes to you." Allie replies warmly and presses a kiss onto Bea's chest.   
  
  
"How are you feeling?" She's quieter now, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on Bea's warm, naked back.   
  
  
"Exhausted," the older woman laughs.

"I'm not even a little bit sorry about that," she says smoothly with another kiss against Bea's chest.  
  
"I mean did you like it?"  
  
  
Bea smiles at the glimpse of innocence and mild insecurity and she nods.   
  
"For the first time in my life."  
  
  
Allie loosens her grip and pulls back to glance up at Bea, the redhead meeting her light gaze through the darkness.   
  
  
"Thank you." Bea whispers softly.

  
Allie replies with a soft kiss against her lips before she rolls onto her back and gently pulls at Bea's body, drawing her in close.   
Bea complies keenly and rests her tired head against Allie's warm chest, her arm draped across the blonde's stomach.

A little while later, just as she begins to feel herself slipping into sleep beneath Allie's fingertips stroking her hair softly, she's jolted awake by Allie's light voice.

  
"Bea?"

  
"Hmm?" She hums sleepily, moving her arm and head a little to wake herself up a bit more.

  
"Can I ask you something?"

  
Even though Allie is whispering, Bea can still hear the apprehension in her voice.

  
"Anything," she replies, meaning every syllable of the word.

  
Allie falters and Bea can hear her heart rate increase in the ear that she still has pressed against her bare chest.

  
"It's about... him."

  
Bea's eyes open of their own accord and she's suddenly very awake.   
She's already told Allie the worst of their history together, so she wonders what could be left to ask.

  
"You can ask me, Allie. There's no secrets now."

  
She didn't think it was possible, but Bea swears she can hear Allie smile in the blackened room.   
She plants a gentle kiss into Bea's scalp and there's a moment of silence between them, Allie's resistance to voice the words speaking volumes.

  
"I know that things were horrible for you and... I can't imagine that sex was any different."

  
For a few moments, Bea really isn't certain how to answer it.   
It's not a question by nature, even though Allie whispers it with a curious inflection.  
Her answer isn't an easy one and she doesn't want to say anything with a potential to pollute the beauty of everything that she and Allie had just shared.  
Allie waits patiently, continuing to stroke her loose curls.

  
"You're right," Bea whispers after a silence that feels like it stretched out for far too long.

  
"Harry always just took what he wanted when he wanted it."

  
She hears Allie draw in a deep breath as much as she feels the action of it beneath her head.   
Allie's long arms tighten around Bea's body and there's another kiss against the crown of her head.

  
"I'm so sorry Bea," she sighs heavily.

"I didn't mean to ruin the moment, I let my curiosity get the better of me. When you said that you liked it for the first time-" she falters and Bea imagines that she's searching for words that don't involve Harry's name or conjure his memory.

  
"It's just been eating at me."

  
The faint sound of defeat in Allie's quiet voice urges Bea to leave a kiss on her chest as she slides her hand across Allie's stomach, letting her fingertips dance across the taunt expanse of warm skin.   
  
  
"You didn't ruin anything. And you can ask me anything you want. It doesn't affect me the way it used to."

  
She had meant it to be of consolation to Allie but as she searches herself, Bea realises that it's true.   
What Harry had done to her for all of those years seems to have lessened in her mind, the horrible, heavy space that he and his violence has occupied seems smaller and lighter now, less significant.

  
"Where is he now?"

  
"Prison," Bea says simply.

  
"Good," Allie says firmly.

  
"I don't know how anybody could hurt you. You're so beautiful Bea, inside and out."

  
Bea's limbs fill with a wonderful warmth as her head falls back to glance up at Allie when she's met with gentle lips on hers, lingering there while Allie cradles the back of her head.

Bea settles back against Allie's chest with the blonde's arms wrapped securely around her as they both close their eyes, giving into the quiet and calm that beckons them into a peaceful sleep.  
  
  
-  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie enjoy their new found intimacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> How's everyone feeling after Ep 1 aired last night?  
> I for one, am proud to present this chapter to you, as it's mostly just sugar and spice and all things nice.   
> Enjoy! 
> 
> P.S: Fuck you, Wentworth
> 
> X

  
Bright sunshine invades Bea's eyes.   
She frowns petulently at it through closed eyes until she hears a soft breathy giggle coming from somewhere close beside her.   
Suddenly pieces of last night come back to her in bursts until they flood her mind.

Allie, their reconciliation, her past all dredged up, the love they made.

She opens her eyes to see Allie beside her, looking down at her with the most beautiful smile she thinks she may have ever seen.   
Her angelic face is resting on her fist, propped up by her elbow and she's wrapped the light coloured sheet around her body in a way that Bea had only ever seen actresses do in movies.  
Her other arm is draped against the length of her side and she's gazing at Bea with a look so soft and adoring, it instantly makes Bea smile.

  
"Good morning," Bea rasps shyly.

  
"Good morning," Allie says softly, her crystal eyes tracing over every part of Bea's face keenly as though she's silently appreciating every feature, every curve and line.

  
"How long have you been awake?" Bea asks, unmoving, still under the groggy effects of sleep.

  
"Long enough to hear you snoring," Allie grins.

  
"I do not snore," Bea scoffs in protest, watching as Allie's smile widens impossibly larger.

  
"No you don't. But you do make these cute little moaning sounds... it's very distracting by the way."

  
  
Bea feels her cheeks start to flush and she hides a smile beneath the top of her covers which she has bunched in her hand.

  
  
"Sorry," she mutters quietly.

  
Allie seems to revel in her blush.

  
"Don't ever be sorry for that babe. It's so not a complaint, I actually quite enjoyed it."

  
Bea can only manage a soft giggle as she feels a wave of heat crash over her body and that familiar tingle in the pit of her stomach.   
When Allie works her hand beneath the covers and places it on Bea's hip, another wave hits her.  
They lean in simultaneously, their lips meeting softly as Bea brings her hand up to rest against the soft space between Allie's jaw and neck.   
It's slow and unhurried until there's just a sharply inhaled breath between them and suddenly Allie's tongue slips into Bea's mouth, filling them both with a shared urgency.  
Allie grips Bea's hip firmly and pulls the sheet away from her body with her other hand and before Bea knows it, Allie is on top of her, her warm, naked skin pressed against Bea's.   
Bea releases a shuddering breath as she feels a firm thump travel through her core.  
Allie kisses her with so much passion that it takes Bea by surprise and as Allie's hands move along her skin with fervor, she feels the warm blush of desire creeping back into her limbs.

_  
No_ , Bea thinks to herself. _You're a grown woman, not some sex crazed teenager. You can't possibly want it again_.

  
Bea pulls back and inhales deeply, trying to regulate her pounding heart when she sees the storm in Allie's usually light eyes, questioning her as her hands still against Bea's body.

  
"Sorry, am I coming on too strong?" She breathes, suddenly self conscious.

  
"No, of course not," Bea replies truthfully.

  
"It's just... don't you have to go to work today?"

  
A coy grin pulls at the corner of Allie's lips. "I called in sick while you were asleep."

  
"Ohh," Bea utters, unable to contain the happiness that spills from her lips in the form of a brilliant smile.

  
"So we both have the day off?"

  
  
Allie's smile grows as she traces eager eyes over Bea's face then her neck and chest, her fingertips following, leaving goosebumps and heating Bea's core.

  
"It seems that way. What do you want to do today, Bea?" Allie murmurs suggestively.

  
Before she can reply, she feels Allie's lips against her earlobe.  
It instantly warms her skin and when Allie releases a hot, slow sigh against the shell of her ear and slides a steady hand across her abdomen, she feels her body bend and writhe.   
She grips the back of Allie's neck, blonde hair tickling her palm and she closes her eyes to truly savour every feeling.

  
  
"This," Bea rasps between shuddering breaths.   
  
  
She slides a softly shaking hand down Allie's naked body until she reaches the gentle curve of her backside.   
Allie responds immediately, rolling her hips and moving her mouth just slightly, devouring the soft skin of Bea's neck with a wonderful slowness.

She moans in delight, squeezing her hand gently around Allie's supple flesh, smiling wickedly at Allie's own loud, helpless moan.

  
"Holy shit Bea," she groans, her voice strained from last night's efforts and the rapid onset of this current wave of arousal.

  
"You're so sexy. You turn me on more than you know."

  
Bea's stomach turns and tumbles, her core pulsing in perfect harmony with her beating heart.

Despite what they shared last night, from the implicit outpouring of her heart to the wonderfully sweet intimacy of the their bodies coming together in a symphony of pleasure, Bea still feels pangs of restraint.   
She wants to tell Allie how much she too turns her on, how grateful she is for her patience and gentility but the words stick in her throat, clouded by her sharp exhalations and low groans as Allie's hands and lips explore her skin.

  
"Allie," she breathes, her eyelids falling over her dark eyes as the blonde's mouth works its way down her chest.   
  
She can almost visualise the thought she had wanted to verbalise slipping from her mind as she feels Allie's gentle fingertips brush against the curves of her breasts, her anticipation making her light headed as she watches Allie move down her body.   
When Bea feels Allie's hot mouth close over her nipple, she hears her own soft moan, feels her head roll back against the pillow and the involuntary surge of her hips pushing up into Allie's body.   
As if encouraged by Bea's reactions, Allie rolls her tongue expertly around the hardened bud, releasing a hot exhalation that travels straight to Bea's palpitating centre.

Her pleading moan brings a wicked smile to Allie's lips as she gazes up at Bea, her stormy eyes softened with want.   
She moves back up, gifting Bea's lips with a searing kiss.

  
"You want me to touch you, Bea?" She whispers heatedly.

  
Bea nods, her voice lost somewhere in her body amidst the fire that heats her every limb.  
Allie smiles wider, kissing her again with a passion that speaks her gratitude and promises a multitude of possibilities.

  
"See babe? I told you your body tells me everything that you're too shy to say."

  
Bea's smile is interrupted by a kiss.  
She lets Allie spend the next few hours showing her just how much her body can actually say, bringing her to the brink of ecstacy again and again.

And then again.

  
.....

  
It's mid morning as they gaze out of Bea's bedroom window, an exhausted tangle of lazy limbs entwined in each other.   
Allie's head is heavy against the front of Bea's shoulder, her fingers brushing, weaving and winding against Bea's and the redhead's brown eyes follow their movements with a new appreciation for them, remembering the way they had bought her to climax over and over again.

It all feels so different now.   
Bea smiles as she ponders the deep contrast of yesterday to now.   
She finally found her courage and now she has things she never had imagined she would.  
A beautiful girlfriend, a sense of safety, the promise of happiness, a reason to smile.   
Even in moments void of darkness and depression, anything remotely in this realm of positivity seemed out of her reach.

  
Until Allie.

  
She's pulled from her deep contemplations by Allie's voice, a sound that brings her such a wonderful feeling of joy that it makes her smile foolishly.

  
"I adore these fingers," she says with an audible smile.

  
Bea chuckles, gripping her long fingers with a playful shake.

  
"You do?"

  
"You really have to ask?" She says, moving her head in an effort to glance at Bea but their position doesn't quite allow it.

  
"They've given me three orgasms in the last few hours, I wouldn't doubt it, Bea."

  
Bea feels her inevitable blush invade her features and Allie, ever knowing, turns her body to witness it, smiling devilishly as she rests on her stomach and elbows.

  
"Allie..." Bea says quietly, smiling bashfully, suddenly overcome with a shyness that she thinks she should have conquered by now.

Allie leans in and kisses her lips with a wonderful slowness.

  
"That's what I wanted to see," she whispers with a wink.

  
Bea's pout is brief as Allie leans in again and they make out until Allie's tongue slides into her mouth again with a sensual groan, communicating a new onset of desire.   
Bea pulls away, pushing pieces of Allie's blonde hair away from her face, knowing where this will inevitably lead them.

  
"Come on beautiful girl, we should get up, I want to take you out to lunch."

  
Allie raises her eyebrows in surprise, a grin pulling at the corner of her ample lips.

  
"Sounds good to me babe, sex and food and you, three of my favourite things."

  
She enjoys the fresh wave of crimson that colours Bea's face all over again.

  
"Stop it, troublemaker," she rasps with a smirk and a gentle swipe of her thumb against Allie's soft cheek.

  
Her expression quickly changes though and Bea recognises the look, knowing something serious is to follow.

  
"But first, I wanted to ask you something... if it's OK?"  
  
  
Bea nods, a silent agreement that urges Allie to continue.   
She would be feeling pangs of worry if it wasn't for everything they had shared in the last twenty four hours, but she knows their bond has solidified now.

Allie inhales a breath that gives her the courage she needs before she speaks, her voice quiet.

  
"I guess I just wasn't sure why you were so convinced that I'd leave you when I found out about... everything."

  
Bea witnesses the fleeting moment of brokenness in Allie's crystal eyes, the memory of their harsh encounter obviously still at the forefront of her mind.   
Bea sighs, a saddness in her expression that Allie immediately reacts to, pressing a gentle kiss to Bea's cheek.   
Bea brings a hand up to cradles Allie's perfect face, rubbing a supportive thumb across her tender skin.

  
"Being with Harry for all of those years, listening to all of his insults and putdowns, in the end, I believed them."

  
Allie's features soften, realising that Bea's insecurities were less about her and more about the man who broke her down.

  
"He used to love telling me that I was nothing. It was his favourite thing to say. And I can still hear him saying it inside my head."

  
Allie grips Bea's arm, conveying her support, grounding her to the present in refusal of allowing Bea to lose herself in that self-loathing space.

  
"My level of damage? It's a lot for anybody to take on, especially someone so young and light and carefree like you."

  
She pauses, swallowing harshly, her eyes looking everywhere except into Allie's.   
She's quieter now, the weight of her admissions pulling at her insides, trying to make them raw again.

  
"To stick around for almost 20 years for that kind of treatment, with a child too, I know that makes me weak and flawed and-"

  
Before she knows it, Allie surges across and meets her lips, stifling her words with a gentle kiss.

  
"Whatever you were going to say? It's irrelevant. You're not any of those things Bea."

  
Bea smiles, the kind of smile that tells Allie that her words have worked their way straight to her heart.

  
"I never thought I was worthy of the kind of affection that you show me," she says quietly, as if her admission is a shameful one.

  
Allie softens even further, her eyes glazing with her emotion.

  
"I understand that. In some small, non-relatable way, I get it. I felt the same way about myself when I was stripping. And for a long time afterwards," Allie admits, equally as regretful.

  
Bea thinks she understands now. Why they work so well together, why their relationship is so seamless.   
They're two of the same, their hearts have craved the same kind of warmth and intimacy.

Bea's fingers find a thin strand of blonde hair to tuck behind Allie's hair, enjoying the smile her gesture brings to Allie's lips.

  
"You're more than worthy, Allie. Trust me, beautiful girl."

  
Allie smiles radiantly and Bea can almost feel her heart grow in her chest, full of a delightful warmth and a contentment that's been undeniably missing until now.

  
"So are you babe," Allie whispers in return, her eyes appreciating every last detail of Bea's features with a look so beautiful, Bea is helpless against her need to kiss Allie as though it's their first because in many ways it is.   
It communicates a new start, a fresh, exciting chapter of her life that Bea can't wait to face.

They part and Allie swipes away the tear that Bea didn't know had fallen.

  
"Come and have a shower with me?" Allie asks with a shyness that contradicts her request.

  
Bea's stomach tumbles at the very idea of it, the newness of it, but she nods demurely all the same.

  
  
Whatever brief vestiges of bravery that Bea had felt when she agreed to shower with Allie quickly fell away as she stepped into the small stall with her.   
  
Blue, affectionate eyes travel keenly up and down her firm, naked body with a small smirk.   
Bea tries to tame her own gaze, it wants to wander the lovely regions of Allie's body.   
It had been obscured by darkness and bed sheets last night and although her hands and mouth were blessed to roam it, she had yet to witness Allie's slender form properly.   
  
But behind the transparent glass of the shower screen and through clear water, there is no where to hide.   
  
Allie holds out a steady hand which Bea accepts, smiling her gratitude.   
Bea dips her head as Allie rests her warm, gentle hands on the redhead's hips, neither pushing or pulling her in any direction, simply allowing Bea to find her comfort on her own.  
Her eyes drink in long feet standing in pools of moving water and cutely painted teal toes, bringing a smile to her nervous lips.   
She follows the lines of Allie's slim legs and thighs, appreciating the way the water cascades down her creamy skin.   
Bea lifts her head to Allie's amused expression, too shy to look at the intimate places that her bold fingers explored last night.  
She meets Allie's twinkling gaze and knows the blonde is reading her as though she's her favourite novel.

  
"You can look, Bea," she encourages her gently, her voice just audible over the white noise of water hitting tiles.   
  
She presses a light kiss to Bea's lips before she leans back beneath the stream of warm water and its only then, when her crystal eyes are closed that Bea musters the courage she desires to truly survey the body that was given to her so completely last night.

As Allie lifts her hands up to glide through her wet hair, Bea steps back and her dark eyes fall to Allie's perfectly formed, ample breasts, tracing over smooth abs and a cute little belly button.   
  
Bea's chest heaves, her limbs filling with a warmth that brings a shard of audacity.   
She steps closer, winding her arms behind Allie, holding her closely beneath the warmth of the water that runs down their bodies in unison.

Allie opens her eyes and smiles, placing a slow kiss against Bea's waiting lips.  
  


"I hope you know that I'm yours to look at, yours to touch..." the blonde utters, gazing at Bea in a way that almost requests, almost challenges.   
  
  
Bea's lips form a reflexive smile and she gives in then, daring to look lower before leaning into Allie's mouth.

  
After another orgasm beneath the warm stream of the shower, they finally get themselves ready and head out on Bea's motorbike at Allie's request.   
She had been itching to go for a ride ever since she saw Bea at the bar the second time they had crossed paths, if for no other reason than to be able to wrap her arms around Bea's body as they both straddled her Harley.

After a quick stop at Allie's so she could change out of yesterday's work clothing, they head to a cafe far enough away that none of their colleagues could possibly bump into them on their not-so-sick day.  
Bea is reminded of their first date as Allie opens doors and chairs for her.   
They decide on a small table outside in the warmth of the midday sun.   
Allie drags her chair beside Bea's so they're sitting so closely, stealing sweet kisses and gentle touches beneath the tabletop between sips of coffee and mouthfuls of food.

Bea is acutely aware of the looks they're receiving from strangers as they openly show their affection for one another.  
  
But she couldn't care less.

For the first time in her life, she finds herself thinking that being shy and inhibited can go to hell.  
She's never had anything this profound and worthy of flaunting until now.

She feels as though the intimacy they shared last night is obvious, as though anyone who looks at them knows what they've been doing.

She watches Allie with a smile as she recounts some funny story that Bea can only half hear, too focused on the way her body seems light and relaxed and how she uses her hands to convey the eagerness of her words.   
The way her smile lights up her expression like a beacon, the way her short blonde hair sways in the gentle breeze.   
She's wearing dark sunglasses but Bea knows that behind them are the light eyes that she finds herself thinking about in the moments when they're apart.   
  
Bea slides an appreciative hand down Allie's thigh, resting just above her knee.  
When Allie laughs a sweet giggle, Bea decides to stop her mid-sentence with a soft but brief kiss against her neck.

  
"Come on gorgeous girl," Bea rasps into Allie's ear. "I want to take you somewhere."

  
"Please tell me its back to your bed," Allie says in a low, sensual voice, loud enough for only Bea to hear, her expression void of any trace of jest.

  
"Later," Bea replies in a whisper that releases her hot breath onto the shell of Allie's ear, witnessing the slight shudder in Allie's body.

  
With little thought for their surroundings, Bea kisses Allie's lips before she pulls her up from her chair, fingers entwined, faces lit with bright smiles as they make their way to Bea's bike.

Bea takes her time driving to their destination.   
The way Allie's arms encircle her waist, holding her in a way that tells her how much Allie needs her, how much she's wanted and forces Bea to fight the happy tears that beg to be shed.

As they pull up to the beach carpark and Bea shuts the engine off, Allie pushes her helmet up then away, a wonderful mix of confusion and amusement painting her feaures.

  
"What are we doing here, Bea?" She asks as Bea takes her hand with a shy smile and they begin to trudge their way onto the sand.

  
"I wanted to show you something," Bea says quietly, her voice almost lost to the volume of the waves that crash into the rolling shore before them, a tumbling mess of whitewash and yellow brown sand.  
  
There's nobody around but them, an entire expanse of beauty that is all theirs.

  
"This is the place I come to when my life gets too chaotic," she says as she settles down into the sand, gently pulling Allie down with her.

"I used to come here all the time when I was with Harry.   
I'd just sit, think, imagine a life far better than the one I couldn't get away from."

  
Allie dips her head with a sadness that speaks louder than the ocean as she grips Bea's hand in support.

  
"I've been here literally thousands of times, fantasising about all the things I didn't have.   
But not once did I ever imagine anything nearly as wonderful as you."  
  


The substantiality of her admission takes Bea by surprise.   
She's used to surpressing her emotions or forever attempting to lessen the weight of them.   
But with the intimacy they've shared, Bea feels as though she's taking a part of Allie's lead, borrowing her penchant for honesty and openness.   
Allie appears openly touched as she presses her lips together and Bea assumes its to hide her softly quivering bottom lip.   
Her other hand, peppered with grains of sand, comes across to grip Bea's hand firmly as she wraps her arm around Bea's body, bringing her even closer into her side.   
Bea presses a brief kiss onto Allie's cheek before resting her head on Allie's shoulder.

  
"You don't have to imagine anymore, Bea. Things will never be as bad as they were.  
I promise I will only ever treat you with the kindness and respect that you deserve.   
You're so special to me, Bea, I..."   
  
Allie falters, a gasp catching in her chest.

When she's quiet, Bea brings her head up to gaze at her beautiful face.   
Her ample lips are still pressed together, as though she's closed her mouth off to stop something from tumbling out.  
There's something that's travelling through her body that Bea can't define.

  
"What?" she asks, slightly concerned but more curious.

  
A tiny grin pulls at Allie's mouth and she shakes her head dismissively.

  
"Nothing," she whispers, turning to place a lingering kiss on Bea's cheek.

  
She moves, disturbing the sand beneath her as she comes behind Bea, winding her warm arms around Bea's midsection.   
Bea settles her back into Allie's front, resting comfortably in the space between her open legs with a gentle smile.

  
"How about we give this spot a new meaning?" Allie asks, a whisper in Bea's ear.

  
"What did you have in mind?" the redhead asks softly, turning her head to try to glance at her beautiful girlfriend, feeling a flash of disappointment when she realises their position doesn't allow it and all her eyes find are strands of blonde.

  
"Come here and I'll show you what I mean," Allie whispers, leaning her body in a way that allows them to kiss.   
  
  
Bea doesn't know how long they kiss for, she doesn't care, she can't get enough.   
Allie's lips caress hers keenly but maintain a softness and gentleness that brings a warmth to the depths of Bea's stomach.   
Allie's tongue slips easily into Bea's mouth and she groans at the feeling, appreciating the contrast between the blonde's warm tongue and cold lips and cheeks, cooling because of the ocean breeze.  
There's a few low moans between them before Bea eventually pulls away, the warmth and soft tingling between her legs reminding her they're in a public place.  
She turns her glance back to the ocean before them.

With a smile on her lips and her girlfriend's arms wrapped tightly around her, Bea feels safe and content here for the first time in her life.   
  
  
-  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Franky invites Bea to the bar for a girls night but Allie seems to have another idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy post-Wentworth day (AKA recovery day for me)
> 
> This chapter is light, a little funny and very cute (and maybe, just maybe a little sexy).  
> So in other words? It's the total opposite to Wentworth. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> X

  
Dusk begins to descend when Bea and Allie finally arrive back at Bea's house, just in time as the sky becomes dark grey and the rain falls in a loud, heavy downpour.

They move around the kitchen together with an ease and comfortability that makes Bea smile as they plate up the Chinese take away they decided to pick up on the way home.  
  
Its not long until they're tangled up on the lounge, Allie's slender body laying heavily on top of Bea's, her head nestled into her new favourite place between the redhead's jawline and chest.  
Her long arms are wrapped around Bea's body comfortably as they watch a movie.  
  
Bea is only half invested in the plot, transfixed by the blonde hair and soft skin that nullifies all of her other senses.  
When Allie shifts a little against her in an innocent effort to get even more comfortable, Bea finds herself biting her bottom lip and her dark eyes moving with fervor, trying to consume every part of Allie that she can possibly see.  
As she begins to realise that she's turned on, a concept still so new and not nearly as intimidating as it should be, she takes a breath.  
Its not nearly as deep as she needs it to be because Allie is all over her, but it gives her enough courage to slide a shy but eager hand up Allie's back.  
  
She wants to initiate something but there's still a scrap of her old shyness that remains.  
She realises her small gesture isnt enough as Allie's body doesn't register a response.

  
"You must really like this movie," Bea utters when her brain gives her no other options.

  
"It's alright," Allie says nonchalantly, unmoving.

  
"You're very focused on it," Bea observes, moving a hand up to stroke at blonde strands.

  
Allie lifts her head, seemingly reading Bea's mind, observing her chocolate eyes and bashful smile.  
She grins at the sight and her sky blue eyes search Bea's face for a clue relating to the new expression she's wearing comfortably.

  
"Should I be focused on something else instead?"

  
The playfulness in her tone and the glimmer of sweet affection in her eyes sends a pleasant shiver through Bea's body.

  
"If you wanted to be."

  
Allie's smile grows a little wider and with a slow, gentle movement against her body as she moves to a better vantage point of Bea's steadily blushing face, Bea feels the last scraps of bravery leave her body.  
Allie's gaze is suddenly very keen and devours her eyes then travels down her neck and chest until their eyes lock again.  
  
  
"And what do you suggest I focus on instead, Bea?"

  
Her hands move from behind Bea's back and come to the front of her body, gentle against her sides and the new position puts firmer pressure on their abdomens and waists.

Bea can only shrug in the smallest way, the action almost missable for how slight it is, her limbs lame with the desire that eclipses her.  
Allie's face seems to slacken with it too and before she knows it, they're kissing with a delightful intimacy that heats Bea's skin.  
Her hands press a little firmer against Allie's back and when she slips her tongue into the blonde's willing mouth, Allie sighs and moves into an angle that allows their tongues to move against each others with heavy intention.  
Bea finds herself gently digging lightly shaky fingertips into Allie's body before she collects fistfuls of her shirt into her hands, an effort to stop the dizzying effects of her longing.  
Allie pulls back a little, her mouth finding the tender skin on Bea's jawline and she gently brushes her lips against her, a warm, light breath pushing Bea further into desire.

  
"Where did my brave Bea go?" Allie whispers heatedly, allowing her mouth to travel across any expanse of warm skin it can reach.

  
"The one from a minute ago, the same one that blew my mind in bed last night."

  
A firm jolt travels through Bea's body and connects with her heated centre.  
It catches in her breath to feel it and when Allie pushes up to survey Bea's face fully, she knows Allie can tell what's happening within her body.  
A satisfied smile curls the blonde's lips and there's very little need for words because the look they're exchanging says it all.

Bea works her hands around to Allie's cheeks and pulls her back down for a searing kiss, their embrace an orchestra of gentle moans, laboured breath and the light clicks their eager mouths make as they devour one anothers.  
  
When Bea's phone rings and vibrates along the coffee table to the side of them, their pangs of frustration are mutual.  
  
Allie pulls back, groaning as she buries her face into Bea's neck.  
Bea wants to smile at how petulant she is but she's just so annoyed that even with an empty house at their disposal, they're still interrupted.

  
"Bet ya five bucks that that's Franky," Allie mumbles into Bea's neck as Bea collects her phone and checks the screen, rolling her eyes as she accepts the call.

  
Allie lifts her head to watch, waiting for confirmation that she's right.

  
"Hey Franky," Bea murmurs flatly, trying but failing to hide her annoyance.  
  
  
Allie feigns a shocked expression before its chased away with a smile.

  
"What up, lesbo?"

  
Bea smiles as she tucks a strand of Allie's hair behind her ear.  
From the combination of backround noise and Franky's tone, Bea can tell that she's at the pub with some alcohol already consumed.

  
"Not much," Bea replies, smiling wider as Allie traces gentle fingertips against Bea's chest, eyes locked as Bea tries to ignore the gentle pulse she feels elsewhere.  
  
  
"Where are you?"

  
"At the bar with the girls. You wanna come join us? We've missed your sad ass these last couple of days."

  
  
Despite the slight playfullness of her words, Bea can hear the shards of pain hidden in the delivery of them.

  
"No thanks, not tonight."

  
  
Allie's eyebrows raise a little and she drags her fingertips gently back and forth across Bea's prominent collar bone.

  
"So things with you and Blondie..." Franky pauses, a kind of heavy regret thick in her voice.

  
"We talked," Bea says simply, suddenly distracted by Allie's warm lips and hot breath against her chest.  


" _Please_ tell me you told her this time," Franky says flatly.

  
"I did," Bea replies, running her fingers through Allie's soft hair, a silent request for her to linger there.

  
"Well fuck Red, I reckon you missed your calling in life, you should have written suspense thrillers."

  
Bea chuckles and she can just see a smile on Allie's lips as they press against her skin again, letting Bea know that she can hear every word of their conversation.

  
"Would you just put us all out of our fucking misery already? Are you two back together or what?"

  
Allie lifts her head, her crystal eyes soft with tenderness, an amused grin pulling at the corners of her lips.

Bea means to make Franky wait longer for an answer but she's just so elated to share that there's merely a breath before she replies.

  
"We're together."

  
Bea has to pull the phone away from her ear with a fit of giggles.  
Franky's loud bellowing mixed with Maxine's, Liz's and Boomer's cries of joy and congratulations are so loud Bea doesn't doubt the entire bar can hear them.  
When the noise finally dies down a little, Bea presses her phone back against her ear, watching as Allie's body shakes a little with the sweet sound of her giggles.

  
"Good on ya Red, we're all stoked for ya. Its about fuckin time you found your balls."

  
Bea gazes down at the beautiful blonde draped across her body and ponders her own happiness to have finally found a sliver of bravery sustantial enough to bring her here.  
She's had plenty of help from her friends to get to this point and without them, she doubts she would have opened herself up to the idea that she's worthy of all of this.  
  
She starts to think about the pacing of it all, entertaining the idea that her new-found courage is perfectly timed, as though she and Allie are intended for one another.  
But she quickly pushes the thought to the back of her mind, realising this level of depth and sentimentality is premature, given that it's merely less than a fortnight ago that they first met.

  
"Thanks," Bea rasps quietly with an unconcealable happiness.

  
"Come to the bar, we need to celebrate."

  
"Nah, another time."

  
"Come on Red, you're fun as shit when you're pissed, come and get messy with us."

  
Bea chuckles at this, shaking her head lightly, a silent objection.

  
"Next time, I promise."

  
When Franky's voice comes down the line again, its slightly softer, further away and Bea assumes her tattooed friend has pulled the phone away from her face to turn to the others.

  
"Oi! You lot, tell Red to get her ass down here."

  
Over the increasing sounds of the bar in the backround, Bea can faintly hear Liz's voice.  
  
"Oh Franky, leave her alone love."

  
Before Bea can respond again, Allie gently but swiftly tugs the phone from her hand, the shock and confusion clearly evident on her face as Allie simply gives her an assuring smirk.

  
"Hey Franky? We adore you babe but fucking hell your timing sucks.  
Bea's not coming to the bar, but she _is_ gonna come, if you get my meaning."

  
Bea's eyes widen, her heart skips a beat or two at the explicitness of Allie's words.  
  
  
"Now if you'll excuse us, me and my hot girlfriend are gonna go back to making out."

  
As Allie hands the phone back to Bea wearing a smirk that drips with self-satisfaction, Bea hears Franky's cackle of wicked laughter.

  
"Alright lovebirds, have a fuck-tastic night."

  
As Bea hears the line go silent and sees her screen blacken, she can only glance dumbfounded at the brazen blonde before her.

  
"Now," Allie announces, pressing her hips against Bea's and moving against the older woman's body in a way that coaxes an involuntary, sweet smile from Bea's lips.  
  
"Where were we?"

  
Bea wants to be offended, a part of her wants to chastise Allie for being so bold, for the embarrassment she feels and the inevitable teasing she's going to cop from Franky.  
But as Allie's warm hand slips beneath her shirt, delicate fingers dragging deliciously against quivering skin, Bea's thoughts blur and become distant concepts that disappear beneath the sound of her own long, deep exhalation.

Allie's coy smile fades a little, replaced by something slightly more lustful.  


"Come here," Bea breathes, gripping the back of Allie's neck, gently pulling at her until she begins to move her way up Bea's body.

  
"Your punishment can wait," she rasps against Allie's tender lips, unceremoniously tossing her phone across the room before they wear each other's mouths in a ravenous, passionate way.

  
.....

  
They never made it out of the living room, their sweet, all-eclipsing desire for one another so ample, waiting another few moments to climb the stairs and into the comfort of Bea's bed seemed insane.  
  
They're quiet, laid out on the lounge completely bare beneath the cover of Bea's favourite red blanket.  
Of course, their bodies are comfortably woven into each other's.  
  
Despite just how new this kind of untamed intimacy is, it doesn't feel forced or inappropriate and a part of Bea wonders why they hadn't done this kind of thing sooner.  
  
  
"I've been thinking," Allie says quietly into the skin of Bea's neck, interrupting the comfortable silence that fills the air.

  
"Oh? About what?" Bea quizzes, her voice rough and husky from vocalising her intense pleasure not too long ago.

  
"Franky."

  
A sweet, surprised laugh bubbles up through Bea's body, shaking her toned stomach.  
  
  
"What?"

  
Allie smiles as she lifts her head from Bea's chest, wanting to witness the moment of amusement, her blue gaze twinkling as she takes in every last millimetre of Bea's expression.

  
"Why's that funny?"

  
"After what we just did? I wasn't expecting you to say you've been thinking of Franky,"  
  
Bea responds with another little giggle.

Allie's smile widens, a brief arch of her eyebrow telling Bea she's about to say something cheeky.

  
"Trust me Bea, after you just made me scream like that? I'm not capable of thinking about anyone else."

  
Bea blushes furiously.  
Her mind traces back to not that long ago, when Allie was breathless and trembling as she clung to Bea's neck, struggling to focus her beautiful blue eyes and stop them from rolling back behind her eyelids.  
Bea remembers the way she had felt incredibly hot and saturated beneath her fingers and the palm of her hand and when she had slipped a finger inside, Allie's inner muscles had immediately tightened around it.  
  
When Bea drew Allie towards orgasm, she had lost all control of her focus in the end and her eyes had squeezed shut and her lips had parted.  
Her gentle sighs built into low groans, then shuddering, high-pitched moans and when that pleasure moment came, Allie arched her back and drove her hips up more firmly into Bea's touch as one hand remained gripped around the back of Bea's neck and the other grabbed desperately at air.  
Allie's hand soon found the back of the lounge and she clung on as though it was her lifeline as she gave off a series of blissful screams.  
The sound had surprised Bea at first, she wondered if she was hurting Allie, but as she searched Allie's beautiful face, she found only the pleasure that she was giving the blonde.

A gentle swipe of the back of Allie's hand against Bea's cheek brings her back to the present and back into those wonderful blue eyes.

  
"Sorry," Allie utters with a soft giggle.  
  
"You know that I love it when you blush."

  
Bea smiles, angling her head into Allie's open palm.

  
"I'm starting to realise that."

  
To leave that moment without kissing seemed mindless, and although it was moderately brief, it seemed to satisfy a need for each of them.

  
"I meant that I've been thinking about Franky in an appreciative context," Allie says quietly, smiling a little.

"You know, just about everything she's done for us.. and for _you_ ," Allie utters gently, reminding Bea of that awful time when Franky was knelt beside her, covered in her blood, repeating things to reassure Bea that she would survive Harry's most brutal attack to date.

  
"Oh," Bea rasps quietly in understanding, nodding her head.

  
She begins to tally up all of the wonderful things Franky has done for her during their years of friendship. From regular gym dates, drinks at the bar and impromptu visits, to deep and meaningful conversations, in spite of Franky's own loathing of them, to keeping her promise to Debbie that she'd keep a watchful eye on Bea.

And then there's Allie.

If it wasn't for Franky's intervention that night at the bar, Bea wouldn't have sweet, beautiful, perfect Allie.

Suddenly, she's filled with a deep affection for her tattooed friend, a smile spreading across her lips, tears threatening to fill her chocolate eyes.  
Allie, ever knowing, caresses Bea's cheek in her palm, smiling gently.  
  
  
"Are you OK?" she whispers thoughtfully.  


Bea nods, her voice momentarily too sticken with emotion.

  
"She's a good friend, isn't she?"

  
Bea nods again, swallowing a tearful lump that wants to rise into her throat that Allie's sweet, sympathetic voice conjures.

Allie is quiet for a moment, simply allowing her light eyes to appreciate Bea's expression as she attempts to rein in her emotions.  
She presses a gentle, brief kiss to Bea's cheek to convey her support.  


"I was thinking of doing something for her or maybe getting her a gift as a way of saying thank you."

  
Bea's heart grows warm within her chest, moved by Allie's kindness.  
She grins warmly, lifting her hands to cup both of Allie's cheeks.

  
"You're sweet."

  
" _You're_ sweet," Allie whispers warmly, her smile accentuated by Bea's hands against her skin.  


"What do you think? You know her far better than I do, what kind of stuff is she into?"

  
Bea takes very little time to reply, her expression serious.

  
"Women and motorbikes."

  
Allie succumbs to a fit of laughter and Bea watches her body shake lightly with a soft smile that she unknowingly wears.  


"Well I have neither of those things to give to her, but remind me to feel _more_ insecure about her sleeping two rooms away from you."  


The way she winks playfully lets Bea know that its all in jest but she feels compelled to reassure the blonde anyway.

  
"You have nothing to worry about, beautiful girl."

  
Allie smiles wider in reply.  
  
  
"I know babe. Have a think for me? Between us we should be able to come up with something amazing."

  
Bea gives Allie the kind of grin that complies and communicates her gratitude all at once.  


"Leave it with me."

  
Allie presses a lingering kiss against Bea's lips and although their tongues remain well behaved in their own mouths, Bea's stomach can't help but flip on itself when she hears a soft sigh catch in Allie's throat.

As they part, Allie reaches down to the ground beside Bea and collects her clothing.

  
"What are you doing?" Bea asks, confusion abundant in her expression.

  
"Getting dressed. As much as I don't want to, I should go home, I have to work tomorrow," Allie replies sadly.

  
If she were any braver, Bea imagines she would snatch Allie's clothes from her hands, toss them across the room and pull her in for a searing kiss, the kind that would start things all over again and result in more satisfied smiles and more exhausted limbs.

  
"Ok," she sighs, defeated, trying to tame her hungry eyes as Allie claws the blanket away from her body, leaving bare skin on display.  
  
Bea's gaze traces curiously over Allie's milky skin, intensifying the tingles that grace her lower abdomen and she finds herself biting her lower lip.

Allie smiles as she fastens her bra around her back.

  
"But we can have a sleep over tomorrow night if you want?" She asks with a playful quirk of her perfectly shaped brow, effectively letting Bea know that sleep is not actually a part of her plan.

Bea is powerless against her bashful grin.

  
"Yeah, I want," she replies quietly, before Allie presses a gentle but brief kiss to her lips.

  
"I _definitely_ want."  
  
  
-  


 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Franky have a very significant discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thank you soooo much to all of you wonderful readers who have left me messages of concern/worry/panic since I failed to update last week! You guys are constantly making me smile :)
> 
> The bad news is my life is pretty crazy (and getting crazier) so updates may not be as regular as they have been.  
> I quite literally live on 4 hours sleep a night and some days there just isn't enough time to get everything done.  
> I much prefer quality over deadline. I would sooner subject myself to the Season 4 final than disappoint you guys!  
> Please be assured this story isn't over yet and I'm very committed to giving Bea and Allie the happy ending they deserve :)
> 
> In saying that, this chapter is light on Ballie content, I apologise in advance for that but I think you'll be happy with where I've taken things :)
> 
> So! Without further delay, please enjoy chapter 18 
> 
> XO

  
Bea wakes to the sound of her phone vibrating against her bedside table.  
She opens her dark eyes lazily, instantly noticing the bright sunshine that invades her bedroom, painting her walls with a lovely yellow-orange hue.

As she blinks away the last vestiges of sleep, she turns her glance to her alarm clock, surprised to see the time; 9:50am.  
She yawns as she stretches her body and it's only then that she feels the dull ache of exertion in her arms, legs and stomach, blushing foolishly as she realises why her muscles are aching.

Bea reaches for her phone, smiling when she sees Allie's name on the screen.

  
**Ok, officially over this work nonsense!**  
**How long til I can b back in ur arms again?**  
**BTW, good morning beautiful :) how's my lady 2day?**  
**xxxxxxxxxx**

  
Bea's smile grows inconceivably larger.  
She tries to deliberate a reply but instead finds herself distracted by memories of their intimate encounters from the last two nights.  
She finds herself fading into thoughts of Allie's lips on her own, hands gliding along smooth skin and beautiful, plump lips turned up into wide smiles.  
She can feel the gentle burn of a warm blush creeping into her cheeks as her mind replays the sounds that fell from Allie's lips when Bea brought her to numerous pleasure moments.  
  
As her gaze finds the phone between her hands again, her contemplations are interrupted by the sounds of Franky's voice from somewhere in the house.

  
"Red? Are you here?"

  
"I'm in my room," she calls out as she begins to type.

  
**Good morning my beautiful girl. Over it already? You've been at work less than an hour.**  
**But I know what you mean, I'm counting down the hours until I can see you again.**  
**Try to have a good day sweet girl x**

  
Bea hears Franky's voice coming from behind her closed door.

  
"Are you alone in there?" She asks cautiously.

  
Bea giggles. "Yes."

  
"Are ya decent?"

  
"Yes Franky, come in," she replies in monotone.

  
Bea watches as her bedroom door opens slowly and Franky pokes her head into the room, her features adorned with a delighted playfulness.  
She pushes the door open fully with a boot-clad foot and holds up two cardboard cups filled with what Bea assumes is coffee from the smells that suddenly fill her room.

  
"I got ya a coffee, I figured you need it to help break you out of that post-orgasm bliss phase."

  
Bea surpresses a grin with pursed lips, glaring at her tattooed friend with narrowed eyes.  
She could succumb to her usual embarrassment but finds herself reponding before she allows herself time to fall into the habit.

  
"I dunno, I reckon I could take up residence in this bliss phase."

  
A scandalised look strikes Franky's features, her jaw dropping in disbelief and utter delight.

  
"Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Bea Smith?"

  
A shared laughter fills the air as Franky shakes off her shock and moves towards Bea, who resumes a sitting position, her back resting against her upholstered headboard.  
Bea accepts the cup from Franky as she sits down before her and they each take a sip, eyeing each other carefully.

  
"Where's your girl?" Franky asks smoothly, her hazel eyes surveying the empty space beside the redhead.

  
Bea feels something inside her stir pleasurably at Franky's words.  
_Her_ girl.

  
"She's at work."

  
"Oh," Franky replies with a knowing nod of her head. "You gonna see her later?"

  
She already knows that Franky is simply trying to ease her into conversation, slowly working up to the topic that she truly wants to discuss.

  
"Yeah."

  
There's a fleeting moment of silence and Bea can almost feel Franky's anticipation overflow until suddenly, she can no longer contain her curiosity.

  
"Well come on then," Franky urges keenly. "I know you're dying to tell me all the details."  
  
  
"Nah, I'm not telling you shit," Bea chuckles, firmly shaking her head.

  
"Come on Red, don't make me pull the I-got-you-two-together card, coz I fuckin will."

  
Bea releases a heavy exhalation, her eyes narrowed and trained steadily on her friend, her mind urging her to relent, but her body argues, growing increasingly weary of her embarrassed blush.

  
"Fine," Bea utters in defeat. "But you'll have to ask questions, I'm not that comfortable saying it all on my own."

  
Franky grins victoriously. "Some things never change hey?"

  
Bea understands Franky's question is a rhetorical one and she simply draws in a breath in the hopes that it will bring her some poise.

  
"So uhh, you and Blondie huh? You sealed the deal?"

  
Bea grins bashfully, although her mouth tries to hide it with pursed lips.  
She nods, incapable of actually saying it out loud.

  
"Fuck," Franky giggles. "You look all adorable and shit, like a shy little kid."

  
Bea can't help but share a giggle with her friend.

  
"So how was it?"

  
"Good," Bea says simply, carefully studying the takeaway coffee cup between her palms, unable to meet Franky's gaze.

  
"Just good?"

  
"More than good."

  
"So uhh, was it a one-sided thing?"

  
Bea looks up then, finding Franky's features void of a smile, wearing a look that tells Bea she's not just here for gossip or to make fun, she's here as a supportive friend.

  
"What do you mean?"

  
"Well judging by the monumental change I can see in you, I can tell she made you come, more than once I'm guessing?"

  
Bea's cheeks flare as she dips her head and nods.

  
"Did you return the favour?"

It takes Bea a moment but eventually she nods.

  
"No fuckin way!" Franky utters excitedly as she kicks off her black ankle boots and crawls across the foot of the bed, coming to rest on her stomach and elbows beside Bea.  
Bea observes the bright smile across her thin lips before her shyness takes over again and her gaze falls away.

  
"So did you like it?"

  
"Yeah," Bea utters quietly, the mere memory of how much she enjoyed experiencing Allie come making her gaze soften.

  
"I told ya, didn't I? It's fucking incredible to have a girl come apart beneath your hands."

  
Bea's heart flutters within her chest.  
She recalls the conversation she and Franky had when she was standing in her wardrobe in a towel and preparing for her second date with Allie.  
It feels like half a lifetime ago but she can still recall feeling as though the likelihood of reaching any kind of intimate moment with Allie was far-fetched, that her hangups and insecurities would forever dominate her.

"It is.... It _really_ is."

  
"Were ya worried you wouldn't know what to do?"

  
"Nah, not really. I kind of just copied what she did to me," Bea says quietly, her timidness beginning to fall away like a shedding skin.

  
"Fuck, Blondie must be a shit hot teacher if you made her come after one lesson. Either that or you're a fuckin natural," Franky says, astonished and Bea can hear the smile on her lips.

  
"So did you just use your fingers or...."

  
Bea hides a bashful smile behind her hand, releasing a breathy giggle into her palm.  
Franky eyes her with amusement but refrains from teasing her, clearly aware that this open and honest side of Bea is a rarity.

  
"Just fingers?"

  
"Yeah," Bea answers shyly. "But I kind of want to... you know..."

  
"You want to try other stuff?"

  
Bea nods, exhaling sharply, quietly grateful that Franky knows exactly what she's thinking and doesn't force her to verbalise it.

She's amazed at just how much she wants to try other things.  
She had never considered herself to be a sexual person, sex was always something she had worked to avoid with Harry.  
It was never a question or a request with him, it was always a demand, something she was obligated to do out of her duty as his wife.  
But with Allie, Bea finds herself an eager participant, keen to know what types of things will please her girlfriend.

  
"Is this your way of asking me for advice?" Franky asks with a narrowed eye, her dimples accentuating her bright smile.

  
"Yeah... please."

  
She can't quite believe she's asking, knowing that what's to come will inevitably be uncomfortable. But as she thinks of Allie, it doesn't matter.  
Bea suddenly feels more than willing to endure some discomfort.

  
"I hope you're comfy Red, coz shit is about to get real personal."

  
.....

  
Bea doesn't know how she gets through it without her skin combusting, but she survives her discussion with Franky, armed with more knowledge about the female anatomy and its inner workings than she had anticipated.

  
"So, you got anything you wanna ask?" Franky asks before she drains the last mouthfuls of her coffee and places the empty cup on the bedside table beside her.  
  
  
During their very open conversation, Franky had wound up sitting beside Bea.  
It was the safest position, where eye contact was not possible.

As Bea finally glances to her side, she shakes her head, looking slightly overwhelmed.

  
"I feel like I just gave you _the talk_ ," Franky giggles but Bea is still too gripped by introversion to do anything but gaze down at her quilt.

  
"You got through it, kid. Well done," she continues, offering a knuckle that Bea taps with her own, finally allowing herself to smile a little.

  
There's a fleeting silence before Bea speaks, eager to move the conversation into more appropriate territory.

  
"So, how was last night?"

  
"Fun," Franky smiles. "We missed ya though. But I get it, you were busy," she purrs suggestively, gently nudging Bea's shoulder.

  
"Oh God," Bea clutches at her forehead as she recalls what Allie had crudely told Franky down the phone last night.

  
"Don't be embarrassed, she's a cool chick. I hope you know how lucky you are, Red.  
Girls like Allie are one in a million. The best advice I could ever give you? Don't fuck it up."

  
"I'm really going to try to be better. For Allie."

  
Franky observes her silently for a moment, smiling warmly.

  
"You already are," she says softly.  
  
Bea watches as Franky's expression changes into something that speaks an inner grief.

  
"What's up?"

  
Franky moves her body in a way that seems like she's trying to shake off her imposing emotion.

  
"Nothin, it's just that seeing you like this, in the cute early love stages, it makes me miss-"  
  
  
Franky stops herself abruptly, exhaling sharply as she interlocks her fingers against the top of her scalp, gazing up at the ceiling in an attempt to compose herself.

Bea sighs, a pained expression painting her features.  
With everything that had happened with her and Allie in the last few days, she had completely forgotten about Franky's situation.

  
"You still wanna be with her?" Bea asks quietly, regretting the words before they had even finished leaving her lips.

  
Franky drops her hands into her lap and scoffs.

  
"It's fucked up, right? That even after she made me feel needy and insecure, forever chasing her affection, I'd still have her back in a heartbeat."

  
Bea searches her mind for some sort of comforting speech, just _something_ to chase away the heaviness that suddenly thickens the atmosphere around them but she only finds more questions.

  
"Have you spoken to her lately?"

  
"Nah, I can't," she breathes, a quiet sob catching her breath.

  
"She just seems so unaffected. And it's fuckin brutal."

  
Bea stops trying to search for words, she's never been much for them anyway. She simply slides her hand across and covers Franky's, the tattooed brunette gripping onto her friend's fingers in a way that conveys both her gratitude and need for support.  
Bea rests her head on Franky's shoulder and smiles a little when she feels Franky's own head come to rest gently on top of hers.

Neither of them speak, but Bea's mind is stormy with thoughts.  
She lets what she thinks is an appropriate amount of time tick by before she asks the question that's been swirling around her brain like a tempest.

  
"Did you mean what you said before?"

  
"About what?"

  
"About me... being in the early stages..." Bea hesitates. "...of love."

  
Franky chuckles a little, leaving her head lightly against Bea's.

  
"Well aren't ya?"

  
Bea's eyes dart around the room, reflecting the chaos in her head.

  
"I don't know," she eventually rasps.

  
"Can you really fall in love with someone after only a few weeks?"

  
"I think that's a question that you need to ask yourself, Red."

  
  
And she does ask herself. Repeatedly.  
It's a question that burns in Bea's mind for the remainder of the day, which she spends simply relaxing at home with Franky.  
It thoroughly distracts her, although she manages to engage in conversation well enough, agreeing and providing brief answers in all the right places.

  
Bea is used to parental love and the kind of love that she feels for her friends, but romantic love?  
That's a foreign and unfamiliar concept.  
Whatever love she may have felt for Harry in the beginning had quickly been erased by violence and fear.

It weighs heavily on her mind as she makes the relatively short drive to Allie's house early in the evening.  
  
Bea knows that she is wildly fond of Allie, that the very thought of her blonde hair, crystal blue eyes and all that milky soft skin makes her limbs warm and brings an automatic smile to her lips.

But love? Surely it's too soon for all of that.

As Allie pulls the front door back, Bea witnesses her sparkling eyes, bright smile and the way her face instantly lights up as bright as a lighthouse.  
Something within Bea suddenly shifts, as if her organs liquify at the very sight of the beautiful blonde.  
Allie takes her hands and gently tugs her inside, mumbling her greeting against Bea's lips.

All logic leaves Bea's mind and it's then that she realises that her heart has an answer to the question that her mind agonised over for far too long.

  
It's then that Bea realises that she's in love.

  
Totally, wonderfully and whole heartedly in love.  
  
  
-

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With happiness finally within Bea's grasp, she sets a plan in motion that will see someone special to her find happiness as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wentworth Recovery Wednesday, wonderful readers!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading chapter 19 as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> Bon apetit, Ballie lovers!
> 
> Much love,   
> Avie  
> XOXO

  
Bea wakes well before her alarm sounds to faint voices and laughter resonating through the house.   
It's Thursday and she doesn't have to be at work until 10am, thanks to an early morning cancellation and a very encouraging Maxine.

Bea and Allie have fallen into an easy routine over the last few days.   
Allie decreed to make Monday morning visits to the salon a regular thing before her usual visits with Kaz, which Boomer gleefully encouraged, particularly because it meant that Allie would be bringing cupcakes for morning tea.   
  
Once work was out of the way for each of them, they'd been meeting at Allie's house, especially since Franky had established herself as an expert in the art of interruption one too many times.

More often than not, once behind closed doors and hidden away from the world, they'd make love.   
Sometimes they'd simply enjoy each other's embrace, revelling in the closeness that they have both craved for too long.   
  
Bea is growing increasingly comfortable in intimate moments, although she has yet to put any of Franky's tips to good use, remnants of shyness still making irregular and unwanted appearances on occassion.

  
Bea still hasn't been brave enough to say the words out loud but there is no doubt in her mind that she loves Allie.   
It's a mere matter of time and courage now before she allows herself to proclaim it.   
  
Although much has changed for Bea, she can still feel her former self hidden away somewhere deep inside.   
The old Bea Smith believes that once the universe catches onto her newfound happiness, it will be snatched away quicker than her heart can beat.  
But the new Bea is becoming more courageous, lighter, happier and more inclined to believe that she's entitled to good things.   
  
  
As she sleepily descends the staircase in her pyjamas, threading her arms through a light robe that she ties around her slender waist, she smiles as her eyes settle on her girlfriend and best friend in the kitchen.   
Allie's pyjama clad body slants comfortably into the corner as she cradles a mug with two hands, smiling as she listens to something uttered quietly by Franky, who is sat upon the island benchtop dressed entirely in black and ready for work.  
  
As Allie's eyes instantly find Bea's from across the room, a brilliant smile splits her ample lips.  
Bea's chest fills with warmth to witness it and she finds herself experiencing it too.  
She wonders if Allie will always encourage this kind of reaction in her, if things will always feel this wonderful.

Franky turns to her, smiling coyly and Bea already knows to be prepared for her friend's usual brand of wit and banter.

  
"Your ears burning, roomie?"

  
Bea tries to surpress a grin behind pursed lips.

  
"Nuh, why would they be?"

  
"Coz I was just telling Blondie how grateful I am that you two didn't get ya root on last night. Cheers for keeping it in ya pants."

  
Bea shakes her head as she reaches the foot of the stairs and makes a direct line for Allie.  
Time and her waning shyness have brought her to this point of being comfortable enough to show her girlfriend small acts of affection in front of others.   
She presses her lips against Allie's cheek before she rests her lower back against the edge of the bench closely beside the blonde.   
She wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around Allie and pull her into a searing kiss but she refrains, knowing that once she begins, she will find it almost impossible to stop.

  
"What makes you think we didn't do anything?" Bea asks confidently, crossing her arms across her chest with a challenging demeanour.

  
"The walls are pretty fuckin thin, Red and Blondie reckons you're a screamer," Franky grins wickedly, her tongue pointed against the front of her teeth in the way that always makes Bea want to grit her own teeth a little.

  
" _Actually_ we were just talking about the Skype session with Debbie tomorrow night," Allie interjects, knowing full well by now that Bea can't help but bite back.  
  
  
Allie's brief, gentle touch against her forearm is enough to lower Bea's blood pressure and encourage her to bite her tongue.

  
"Yeah," Franky admits quietly, still smiling that annoyingly coy smile.   
"I almost had ya going there though, hey Red?"

  
Bea observes the way Franky's legs swing from side to side like a pendulum in a childlike fashion, knowing her question is rhetorical.

  
"So meeting the offspring, that's a pretty big step. Ya nervous?"

  
"Just a little," Allie grins, exhaling heavily.

  
"Don't be, Red Junior is gunna love ya."

  
As Franky jumps down from the bench and weaves her arm through the strap of her backpack, she gives Bea a deliberately pointed look and Bea understands why.   
_Love_.   
That word that has been at the forefront of Bea's mind for the last few days.

  
"Alright lovebirds, I'm out. See ya at work, Red. No fucking on the kitchen bench when I leave," Franky says, throwing one last coy look over her shoulder as Allie giggles and they each call out their goodbyes.   
  
  
The door barely has time to click shut before Bea turns to Allie, sliding her arms around her slender waist.   
Allie places her mug against the benchtop before Bea's lips are on hers, kissing her with a hungry intention.

  
"Hi," Bea rasps sensually against Allie's mouth.

  
"Hi yourself," Allie replies between kisses as she grips Bea's strong arms.

  
"How's my sexy girl?" Bea whispers before plunging her tongue deep into Allie's warm mouth, sighing as Allie presses her hips into Bea's.

  
"Ohh Bea," Allie utters when they eventually part.  
  
"I like this side of you babe. To what do I owe this sexy, new side of my lady?"

  
Bea smiles as Allie tucks a section of red brown hair behind her ear. She's feeling particularly brave today and decides to give into it.

  
"Laying beside you all night and knowing I couldn't touch you in the way I wanted to?  
It was like torture," she husks as her lips find Allie's tender neck, the blonde hissing and gripping Bea's sculpted arms tighter.

  
"God Bea, I'll make it up to you tonight. You can have anything you want, _anything_."

  
Allie cradles Bea's strong jawline, gently pulling her up to waiting lips.   
Bea gulps away the last vestiges of timidness, buoyed by the way Allie's mouth is devouring hers and the heat that pools in her stomach.

  
"You know, we have a little time now and Franky mentioned something about the bench top that sounded pretty good..." Bea rasps suggestively, sliding her hands up Allie's sides, teasing the undersides of her breasts through her shirt.

  
"Uh uh, no quickies. My Queen deserves better than that."

  
To say that Bea is disappointed is an understatement.   
Her desire for Allie is already a throbbing ache, pulsing in the low regions of her abdomen.   
She's already wet and her skin is already ablaze.   
The thought of having to wait the entire day to satisfy her all consuming need is an impossible one, particularly seeing as though she's already waited all night.

  
"I'm showing a client through a property at three thirty then I'll be finished for the day.   
How about you come by after work and I'll cook you dinner?   
And if you want babe? I'll let you have dessert first," she whispers heatedly in Bea's ear.

  
Bea throws her head back in genuine frustration at her growing arousal.

  
"Jesus Allie, that sounds amazing. But I'm going to be later than usual, I have an appointment after work."

  
"Really? Everything OK?" Allie asks as she pulls back in their embrace, slight concern evident in her voice and delicate features.

  
"Yeah, everything is fine."

  
"Good," Allie says with a wicked smile, pulling at Bea's hips until they're flush together again.

  
"Cancel the appointment," she whispers into Bea's ear again before she traces her tongue against the warm shell of it.   
  
Bea's body bends like a bow into Allie and she feels the ache in her abdomen intensify, bringing with it a wave of hot tingles.

Bea ponders it, she really does.   
She'd do anything for Allie and God knows she doesn't want to wait any longer than necessary to make love to her.

  
"I wish I could," she sighs in defeat.   
  
"But I've waited days for this appointment. If I don't go through with it, I might lose my nerve."

  
Allie surveys Bea's expression, keen, soft eyes moving with fervor across her skin.

  
"Well it must be important for you to deny me," she says smoothly, her brief wink letting Bea know that it's all in good fun.

  
"Like you're denying me right now?" Bea utters playfully.  
  
  
This kind of banter is coming more naturally now and Bea couldn't be happier about it.

Allie chuckles, rubbing a thumb over Bea's cheek before her lips replace her touch.

  
"Touche babe."

  
Bea's heart flutters as Allie's lips find hers again. It's brief and gentle and there's no tongues involved, but their embrace warms Bea's already heated insides and she sighs a shuddering breath.   
Allie finally decides to grant her some reprieve, stepping out of Bea's arms with a knowing smirk.

  
"I better start getting ready for work, I'm gonna go shower. Try not to think about me all naked and wet, running soapy hands over my body" she says with a wink.

  
Bea's stomach twists at the visual that her mind creates.   
She watches Allie climb the stairs, a definite smug, self-satisfaction evident in her stride.

Bea is left gripping the kitchen bench behind her, throwing her glance up to the ceiling above her helplessly, knowing full well that its going to be one impossibly long day.

  
.....

  
Bea sits beneath the bright clinical lights of the large waiting room, her arms crossed over her chest and her leg twitching furiously in impatience.

Just as she had suspected, the day had dragged by.  
She had been joyfully relieved to have finished her work day but as she waits for her appointment, which through no fault of her own has now been delayed by almost half an hour, she finds herself growing increasingly agitated.

She _should_ be on her way to Allie's place by now, a thought that frustrates her immensely.

Allie has been no help of course, sending sexy text messages that have only increased the wetness between her thighs that had been there since this morning.

  
**Dinner is in the oven, the wine is chilling & I'm wearing a robe.**   
**Bet u can't guess what I'm wearing underneath it??**   
**(I'll giv u a hint... it's not much)**   
**;)**   
**xxxxxxxxxxx**

  
Bea drops her head and rubs her fingertips harshly across her forehead.   
_Fuck._   
She had never experienced sexual frustration before but now that she knows what it feels like, she thinks it should be illegal.   
She's about to reply when she hears her name being called.   
Bea looks up to find the source, seeing Bridget standing at the foot of a hallway, gripping a pen between both of her hands and smiling warmly.

  
"Come in, Bea," she says gently.

  
Bea follows her to a small consulting room, barely hearing whatever formal pleasantry Bridget offers up in her smooth, soft voice over the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears.   
She sits on the edge of the seat that Bridget gestures to, already wishing away their time together as the short brunette sits at her desk, scooting her chair to the side from behind the computer that obscures her small, slender frame.

  
"Well this certainly is a nice surprise," she says, smiling kindly, effectively putting Bea's nerves at ease.  
  
"After the last time we saw one another, I must admit I thought it would be the last."

  
Bea simply smiles shyly as she recalls their last encounter in the halls of the gym, when Bridget had caught her off guard with reminders of her painful past.

  
"I am sorry for that, Bea. I realised afterwards how terribly out of line it was."

  
Bea surveys her regretful expression thoughtfully.

  
"It's fine. I'm sorry too... You're hard to get an appointment with, you know."

  
Bridget mirrors Bea's small smile.

  
"Yes, my apologies. I've cut back on some of my clinic hours."

  
  
Bea is suddenly reminded of a conversation she had with Franky, recalling that a lack of time together had been a contributing factor to their breakup.   
She can't help but wonder whether it's connected.

  
"So what brings you here today Bea? How can I help?"

  
Bea takes a deep breath, hoping it will bring her the courage she needs.

  
"I umm, I've been thinking... about what you said last time.   
And I'd like to go ahead with it."

  
"Just to be clear Bea, do you mean that you'd like further counselling sessions?"

  
Bea nods and she's met with an encouraging smile.

  
"That's fantastic, I'm glad you've decided to go ahead with it. I think it will be very beneficial for you in your recovery.   
May I ask why you've had a change of heart?"

  
It's a significant question but the wording is apt.   
_A change of heart._  
Bea smiles as she thinks of the reasons why her heart has changed, why it's brimming with love and warmth.

  
"I've met somebody."

  
As Bridget's eyebrows raise in a kind of happy disbelief, Bea's cheeks begin to warm and grow pink.

  
"You're in a relationship?"

  
As Bea nods, Bridget's smile grows impossibly larger.

  
"Bea, that's wonderful news. I must say that you appear to be making exceptional progress, given all that you've been through.   
It shows incredible strength. Is it fair to say that you have a good network of supportive people around you?"

  
"Yeah. I have Debbie and my friends, they're all wonderful. Although Deb's overseas at the moment," Bea says, feeling a fleeting sadness at the notion of her daughter being so far away.

  
"And your new partner? How does he feel about what's happened to you in the past? Assuming you've told him."

  
Bea smiles a little at the error.

  
"Uhh yeah... _she_ knows."

  
Bea waits for some kind of reaction to her revelation but when she sees no trace of surprise or shock, she continues.

  
"She's been so supportive. I feel very lucky to have her in my life. She's actually a major part of why I'm here," she admits, feeling increasingly bolder as their conversation moves along.

  
"Oh?" Bridget asks curiously, leaning her wiry body back into her chair comfortably.

  
"I want to be better. I don't want my past getting in the way of my future and I certainly don't want it affecting my relationship with Allie in any way."

  
Its something Bea had been thinking of for some time.   
When Franky had urged her not to fuck things up as the pair sat together upon Bea's bed on Saturday morning, it had only cemented her good intentions.

  
"Well I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries when I say this but this Allie of yours is a lucky woman."

  
Bea grins. "Actually, I'm the lucky one."

  
Bridget nods, giving Bea a look so warm and well intentioned, it makes her smile bigger and brighter.  
Bridget moves her attention to the computer and begins typing.

  
"So Bea, would you like to continue seeing the same counsellor you've seen in the past?"

  
"Uhh no, I didn't like him much. Is there somebody else I could see?"

  
"Actually there is. We have a counsellor on staff here who specialises in the kinds of grief and trauma that you've been affected by.   
She strictly sees female clients and I have other patients who are singing her praises, they've found her and her methods to be quite empowering."

  
"Sounds great," Bea says with a shrug.

  
"Ok Bea, it will just take me a moment to write up your referral. You can organise an appointment with her at the desk on your way out if you like.   
Her name is Karen Proctor."

  
Bea nods as a comfortable silence befalls them, only the sounds of the keyboard clicking beneath Bridget's fingers and the printer whurring filling the room.

  
"Is there anything else I can do for you today?" Bridget asks kindly as Bea accepts the envelope that is extended to her.

  
"Actually there is. You can call Franky."

  
Bridget stares blankly for a moment, frozen by her obvious shock and Bea uses the opportunity to say what she came to say.

  
"I think you both have some things to sort out."

  
Bea watches as Bridget shifts uncomfortably in her chair, dropping her gaze to some non particular spot on her desktop.   
Although her heart is thrashing wildly in her chest, adverse to this kind of confrontation, she urges herself to continue.   
She thinks of all of things that Franky has done for her over the years and its enough to help her push her anxiety and timidness to the side.

  
"Bea, this isn't the appropriate time or place to discuss personal matters of that nature," Bridget utters and for the first time, Bea witnesses her usually strong and authoratative demeanour change into something slightly more human, something with an edge of pain.

Without much thought, Bea straightens in her chair, overcome with a kind of indignant liberation.

  
"I'm sorry, should we move this conversation to the hallways of the gym?"

  
Bridget's gaze softens considerably, dropping to the same spot on her desk and Bea can almost visualise her walls coming down.   
She nods in obvious defeat, smiling ironically.

  
"That's fair."

  
"Look, Franky's a good friend. The best actually. And it hurts me to see her suffering like she is."

  
"Suffering?" Bridget repeats, frowning, as if the entire concept is outrageous.   
  
"It certainly hasn't seemed that way when we've spoken."

  
"Franky's not as tough as she'd like the world to think she is. She's hurting, she just knows how to hide it better than the rest of us do.   
Surely you've realised that about her by now."

  
After a moment of silence and what Bea imagines are deep contemplations, Bridget glances up at her, her light eyes glossy with a sheen of accumulating tears.

  
"Does she know you're here?" She asks quietly.

  
"No," Bea says, shaking her head lightly, eyeing the small woman before her carefully.

  
"But you know for a fact that she's unhappy?"

  
"Yeah. Thanks to you."

  
Bea watches Bridget's composure slip away and the emotion she'd been holding onto for far too long spews up from somewhere deep inside, bringing a sob and a quiver to her small body. It shocks Bea for a moment and she finds herself wondering if maybe she's being too harsh. 

  
"I don't know what to do Bea, she won't talk to me. She's not answering my calls.   
She told me to stay away from the salon and I have because she's such a hothead she'd likely cause a scene.   
But its the only place I know where to find her. I don't know where she's living, I don't know who she's staying with, I don't know if she's ok, I don't know anything," she sobs with desperation.

  
Bea is suddenly overcome with an odd feeling of vindication.   
As awkward as the situation is, she can't help but feel satisfied that Bridget is just as bad off as Franky is, that the hardened, stoic version of herself that she usually presents is a mere facade.  
It's then that Bea softens, realising that there's no one to lay blame upon here.

  
"She's right to be so angry with me and to want to shut me out, I treated her like she wasn't a priority. She deserves so much better than that," Bridget sighs shudderingly, pulling a tissue from a box on her desk with a self loathing shake of her head.   
She dabs carefully beneath her eyes at the tears that have fallen, trying not to disturb her makeup too much.

  
"I'm glad you think so," Bea says a little softer. "Do you still want to be with her?"

  
"More than anything," Bridget says without hesitation. "But even if I knew where to find her, I doubt she'd take me back."

  
"All she wants is your love and a bit of your time. Now if you can't give her those things-"

  
"I can," Bridget declares quickly.   
  
"I can, I want to and I will... if she'll let me. I'd do anything to have her back, Bea.   
She's my everything. I've been fucking miserable since she left me, I feel as though I've thrown away the greatest love I've ever known."

  
As Bea witnesses another wave of emotion grip the woman before her, pulling soft cries from her lips, shaking her shoulders, Bea feels compelled to get up and move to the other side of the table, kneeling before her as she rests a supportive hand over the blonde's.

As much as it shocks her to witness Bridget so raw and uncensored, Bea had needed to see it.   
She needed to know that Bridget is worthy of the kind of love that Franky gives so selflessly, so abundantly.   
Hearing what she had just heard clears any lingering doubt from Bea's mind.

  
"Hey," Bea murmurs softly. "You haven't thrown anything away, she still wants to be with you."

  
Bridget's eyes are instantly lit with hope. She sniffs away her sobs, studying Bea's eyes intently.

  
"She does?"

  
"Yeah, she does," Bea says with a small but warm smile.

  
" And I'm going to help you get her back."  
  
  
-  
  
  


 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Bridget, Bea heads to Allie's house where Allie makes good on a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely readers!!  
> I had serious doubts that I'd be posting today after what can only be described as a seriously shitty week :/  
> But the fanfic Gods have graced me with a slice of uninterrupted time and an abundance of inspiration and here I am with   
> Chapter 20 :)  
> It comes with a warning however, it's incredibly long and insanely unsafe for work and/or public reading and/or reading in the vicinity of other people.   
> In other words? I recommend reading this chapter while you're home alone sitting in a cold bath after you've popped a Valium or two ;)
> 
> A massive shoutout to my bestie Hayley for helping me with the more difficult aspects of this chapter :)
> 
> Happy reading Ballie lovers!  
> Avie <3 xxx

  
Bea swears its the longest car trip to Allie's house that she's ever experienced.   
From every possible red light to bumper to bumper traffic, if there was _anything_ that could delay Bea's journey even further, the Universe threw it at her.

As she finally pulls up in the driveway far later than she had estimated she'd be, she quickly collects the overnight bag that has become a newly permanent addition to her back seat.

Bea can smell the delightful aroma of something drifting through the air the closer she gets to Allie's front door.   
It makes her stomach growl with hunger but as she lifts her eyes and sees Allie leant against the open doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, smiling sweetly and wearing a short robe that hugs her figure in all the right places, Bea forgets the hunger in her stomach and is suddenly _very_ aware of a different kind of hunger.

  
"Well well," Allie utters smoothly, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

  
Bea is powerless against the grin that curls her lips.   
For most of the car ride over, her mind had been occupied with thoughts of her time with Bridget, marvelling at her brazen mission and how well she had executed it all, but as her eager eyes trace up and down Allie's body, all other thoughts melt away.

  
"I was just about to say the same thing to you," Bea says, her eyes softening instantly as Allie leans into her lips.   
  
  
The first kiss is brief, the second lingers a little longer.

  
"You weren't kidding about the robe," Bea rasps, gesturing to Allie's body with a pointed look and a nod of her head as Allie allows her to pass and enter the house.

  
"I never joke about robes," Allie winks.

  
They giggle as Allie takes the bag from her hand and leads her through her home.   
Bea is growing increasingly comfortable in treating it as if it were her own, she's been here so often that its beginning to feel natural.   
She makes her way to the kitchen to find a bottle of wine and two empty glasses on the counter as Allie disappears up the darkened hallway to place Bea's things in her bedroom.   
Bea just manages to swallow her second mouthful of wine before she feels Allie's warm hand slip over the arch of her left hipbone, her long fingers splaying against Bea's stomach as her right hand pushes short, red-brown curls away from Bea's neck.   
Bea's breath hitches as she feels Allie's warm body pressed gently into her back and soft, full lips that are warm and _so_ gentle against the back of her neck.

  
"How was your day, beautiful?"

  
Bea swallows hard at the low, sensual tone of her voice.   
When Allie presses a second kiss to Bea's skin, she likens the sensations in her stomach to that of being on a roller coaster.

  
"Long," she says labouredly. "Sorry I'm late."

  
There's another kiss on her neck, slightly lower this time, approaching the curve of her shoulder that makes her eyelids fall over her eyes.   
She places her glass down and grips her fingers around the lip of the bench and with a roll of her head, she surrenders her neck to Allie's mouth.

  
"There's no need to apologise babe," Allie whispers against her skin, tracing her lips up to Bea's ear, the subtle swipe of her tongue on her lobe sending a jolt through her heated body.

  
"I'd wait for you forever if it meant I got to touch you like this."

  
Bea releases a sound that's somewhere between a sigh and a breathy laugh.   
She turns to face Allie and wraps heavy arms around Allie's waist, balling her hands into fists at the small of her back.   
It's all Bea can do not to pull Allie's robe off and devour her right there.   
Allie smiles sweetly and Bea feels herself doing the same before she leans into Allie's mouth and kisses her heavily.   
  
Bea has been waiting all day to get Allie alone and do things to her body, things that she's still floored that Allie allows her the priviledge of doing.   
As she pulls away, she's overcome with shyness but for once, it's not the thing that's holding her back, it's her overwhelming need for Allie.  
She's never known desire as deep and all-encompassing as this. She could get swept away with thoughts of it.   
She worries that if she doesn't hold onto some shard of self control, her passion will overflow and she'll pass out from the depths of her longing.

  
"Dinner's ready, it's just warming in the oven," Allie utters softly, threading a strand of Bea's hair behind her ear, her adoring, amorous glance drawing the same reaction from Bea.

  
"Are you hungry?"

  
"I am," Bea says quietly, dropping her head and gazing down at the air between their bodies.

  
"But not in _that_ way."

  
She hears the light shudder in Allie's breath and as she lifts her eyes she's met with one of the most sensual gazes she thinks she's ever seen.  
Allie's face is lax with arousal and she's biting her lower lip in the way that drives Bea crazy.

  
"What are you hungry for Bea?" Allie murmurs hotly.

  
Her breath has already begun to quicken, although Bea barely hears it over the heavy pounding of her heart in her ears.   
She swallows hard, her eyes falling away again, too timid to gaze into the face of the woman who is evoking all of these feelings in her body.

  
"You."

  
Before Bea can truly process her own bravery or even look up, Allie's lips are on hers, kissing her with a fiery passion that pulls a moan from somewhere in her throat.   
It stuns her for a moment, to be kissed in a way that speaks of true desire but she gives into it and reciprocates with everything that she has.   
Allie's warm tongue requests entry which Bea immediately allows, their mouths moulding to the soft shape of one another's.

  
"Oh my God Bea," Allie moans as they part for air. "You're so sexy."

  
There's merely a breath inhaled before their mouths find each other's again and Bea finds herself clinging to Allie's upper arms just to feel steady.   
It takes her a moment to realise she's not dizzy from her arousal, Allie has turned their bodies in the direction of the hallway and she's guiding Bea to her room, their mouths never separating for a moment.   
It's an awkward, graceless dance toward Allie's bedroom, one where they lean on walls along the way just to stop themselves from falling over.   
Bea's hands are cupped firmly around the gentle curve of Allie's backside and before she knows it, Allie is pushing her shirt off her toned body.   
When it falls to the floor, she quickly unravels the sash of her robe and then works the zipper on Bea's pants.   
  
The way Allie is shedding their clothing with desperation _should_ be intimidating, Bea thinks, but instead she finds herself just as desperate, just as eager as Allie.   
The hallway is littered with abandoned clothing by the time they reach Allie's bed, the meager fabric of underwear their only barrier now.

As Allie eases Bea gently down onto the bed, their urgency is forgotten for a moment and she pulls back to truly behold the redhead, her expression awash with longing as she traces avid eyes along Bea's bare skin.   
Bea works herself up onto her elbows, trying her best to reach Allie's lips but she simply smiles in the smallest way and Bea thinks she's never seen a more beautiful sight, her girlfriend barely dressed in pink lace, glancing at her like she's perfection in human form.

It makes Bea's stomach twist and the blush she's wearing deepen.

  
"There isn't a word significant enough to describe how beautiful you look right now," Allie whispers as she moves over Bea's lap, straddling her hips in the way that coaxes Bea's mouth open so she can draw in the deep breaths that she needs.

  
Bea's glance falls away, a shy smile curling her lips.   
She's wearing plain black underwear and a simple black bra and she dreads to wonder what her hair looks like, but it doesn't matter.   
All that matters is they're finally here alone together.

  
"Allie," she utters pleadingly, swallowing away her shyness for a moment.

"I need you."

  
And with those few simple words, their shared urgency returns.   
Allie leans down, sighing heavily and kissing Bea with an instant passion that forces the older woman's heart to pound impossibly faster.   
She groans against Allie's eager mouth, the feeling of her tongue- deep and not as gentle as Bea is used to- bringing a strong wave of heat that breaks against her limbs and warms her core.   
Allie's hands are skimming restlessly across Bea's skin and Bea finds herself rising up into her touch like smoke, happy to let herself be touched anywhere and everywhere.   
There's a gentle pulse between her legs now and she can feel herself growing wetter with every touch, every softly uttered moan that falls from Allie's perfect lips.

Without much thought, Bea reaches behind Allie and unclasps her bra, letting it fall from her body.   
There's another gentle moan before Bea feels Allie pulling her up into a sitting position and she too pulls Bea's bra away from her body, keen, warm hands quickly cupping her breasts.   
Bea groans against Allie's mouth, her slightly shaking hands running up Allie's legs before she gently digs her fingers into the supple flesh of her backside, scarcely covered by lace underwear.   
Allie responds with a roll of her hips and a quiet cry of pleasure.   
The sounds stirs an ache in the lowest regions of Bea's abdomen and she can't help but shudder.   
Allie must feel it too because her lips form an involuntary smile before she pulls away, her face ripe with want.   
She moves her warm hands to the back of Bea's neck.

  
"So Bea," she utters with a raspy edge in her soft voice.

  
"I made you a promise this morning that you could have anything you want."

  
Bea licks her lips. "I remember."

  
It's an understatement of epic proportions.   
Those words, uttered in Allie's sweet, sexy voice have been at the front of Bea's mind all day, distracting her during conversations and making her slick in places that made her uncomfortable in public.

  
"Tell me babe, what do you want?" Allie whispers, tracing her mouth slowly across Bea's jaw.

Bea's eyes flutter closed and she exhales sharply.

  
"I want you to kiss me," she whispers.

  
As Allie eyes Bea's lips and attempts to lean in, Bea pulls back a little, cupping a slightly shaking hand against Allie's cheek.   
She shakes her head lightly, her heart beating wildly within her chest, resonating in her ears at what she's about to ask for. She swallows hard.

  
"No Allie, not there..." Bea says quietly, barely loud enough to be heard.

  
Bea is certain she sees a glimpse of fire in Allie's eyes as realisation finds her.   
Her breathing visibly quickens and her mouth falls open.   
Bea dips her head, her bravado slipping as if her vague request is too much.  
But Allie won't allow it. She leans into Bea's mouth and kisses her with a fierce passion, a reward for Bea's bravery.   
Allie is filled with an insatiable intensity that lights a fire deep within Bea's body, warming every last expanse of skin.   
As Allie lays Bea against the bed, Bea watches her begin her slow descent, her mouth, tongue and hands appreciating her body.

  
"Do you know how much I've wanted to go down on you?" Allie murmurs hotly against Bea's chest.

  
Bea feels a delightful flutter between her thighs at the explicitness of Allie's words.   
She's never been one for dirty talk but Bea finds herself curious now.

  
"Tell me," Bea urges in her trademark rasp.

  
As Allie drags her fingertips down her side, leaving goosebumps in its wake, Bea shivers a little.   
Her body is shaking with anticipation, her chest tight with her strained breath.   
Allie brushes her lips against Bea's breast and releases a hot breath against it that Bea feels all the way down to her core.   
She clenches her thighs together, her core so sensitive now that even that small action feels like its stimulating her.

Allie grins at her writhing form, the way her mouth is slightly open and Bea knows from the way she quirks her eyebrow and smiles wickedly that she's about to say something that she'll need to brace herself for.

  
"So much, babe. I've thought about it a lot, about moving down your body, kissing the insides of your thighs, feeling your legs quivering against my shoulders..."  
Allie says, kissing her way down Bea's twitching stomach as she closes her hands around Bea's breasts.

  
Bea's breath is coming in heavy shudders now, her skin so hot and flushed she thinks she just might combust.

  
"I've thought about what you would feel like under my mouth..."

  
"Oh God," Bea breathes as another flutter finds her inner walls.

  
Allie's mouth skims across the waistband of Bea's underwear before she takes it in her teeth and pulls back then releases it, letting it snap back against Bea's skin.

  
"...about making you come with my tongue."

  
Bea's almost completely gone now, her desire so encompassing she begins to feel lightheaded.  
  
  
"I bet you taste incredible," Allie smiles hotly up at Bea.   
  
  
As she clenches her thighs again, Bea feels a sudden, firm sensation strike the depths of her stomach and centre.   
It makes her jump to feel it and she moans, her face slack with shock before she frowns, wondering what's occuring within her body.

Allie's eyes trace over her face curiously, moving into a seated straddling position once more.

  
"Bea?"

  
Bea swallows hard, her mouth dry from her harsh, rapid breathing. She looks up into Allie's perfect eyes, momentarily distracted from her confusion.

  
"Did you just come?" Allie asks gently in no more than a mere whisper.

  
It takes her longer than it should to answer.   
The pleasure she had felt when it happened wasn't as overwhelming as when she's climaxed beneath Allie's touch, it was a small portion of that, less intense, but pleasurable all the same.

  
"I... I don't know," she says dumbfounded. "I think I did."

  
Allie smiles softly, her eyes softening even further and she's looking at Bea so tenderly that it erases Bea's embarrassment.

Allie glances downwards as she slips a gentle fingertip into Bea's underwear and between wet folds and Bea's body shudders furiously, her clit so sensitive it causes her to gasp.   
Allie looks at her with a lustful gaze as she withdraws her finger, knowing not to overstimulate Bea any more than she already has.

  
"I think you did too."

  
"But... how? You didn't even touch me..."

  
"Have you been turned on all day?"

  
"Yeah," Bea admits shyly, making Allie smile sweetly. "And last night too."

  
"You've wanted it that much?"

  
Bea nods, too shy to admit the extent of her longing, despite all that they've shared.

Allie lays down on top of Bea, kissing her with a delicious slowness that speaks of desire, reassurance and affection.

  
"I'm going to do that to you, Bea, if you still want me to, that is. But we'll give you time to recover a little first," Allie whispers, pulling back a little to gaze at her girlfriend with pure affection as she swipes a thumb across Bea's cheek.

  
Bea is still so affected by her arousal that it overshadows her usual trepidation.

  
"I could... do that to you?" She murmurs as she tucks a section of Allie's hair behind her ear.

  
She already knows from the way the blonde's expression suddenly slackens that it's something she wants, a wonderful mix of shock and arousal painting her perfect features.

  
"Are you sure you're ready?" Allie asks sweetly. "I don't want you to feel obligated to do that just because I intend to do it for you."

  
It's an incredibly kind sentiment that only deepens Bea's love for Allie.   
That kind of sex has been on Bea's mind a lot lately and as much as she wants to experience it for herself, she's just as eager to please Allie in that way.   
Whatever nervousness she feels is quickly eclipsed by the heavy look of lust across Allie's face.

  
"Lay down," Bea says simply, her coarse voice thick with desire.

  
Allie swallows hard before releasing a sharp exhalation.

  
"Holy shit Bea, I could come just from the way you said that."

  
Allie quickly does as she's told, pulling Bea on top of her as she rolls onto her back.   
Bea places a long, slow kiss against Allie's mouth, her mind full of Franky's instructions that she does her best to organise into practical order.   
She can hear Allie's breath quicken as she moves down her body and slides her underwear down her soft, smooth legs.   
Allie leans up onto her elbows, watching it all happen with eyes that are heavy and hooded with arousal.   
As Bea positions herself between Allie's legs that are already trembling with her anticipation, she dares to glance at her most intimate area, her face awash with her curiosity and awe at the sight laid out before her eyes, Allie flushed, inconceivably wet and _so_ ready to be touched.   
She looks up to see Allie's chest heaving, her breath coming quickly as if she's being touched already.   
With a lick of her lips, Bea returns her focus to Allie's centre.

The first lick sees Allie totally lose any control she had held onto and she moans pleadingly, the sound spurring Bea on.   
It takes her a while and a lot of thorough concentration but Bea eventually finds a technique and a rhythm that causes Allie to fall against the mattress, too taken with the pleasure she's feeling to even keep herself upright any longer.   
As Allie begins to undulate her hips, meeting every touch of Bea's tongue against her hot, velvety skin, Bea slides an achoring hand onto Allie's hip as she continues to move her mouth slowly, touching every last millimeter of Allie, trying to find the places that bring her the most pleasure.   
Her neck is straining and she discovers she has to learn to breathe in a brand new way but Bea finds herself eager to draw the experience out, enjoying the process of discovery as much as Allie is obviously enjoying her touch.  
After a while, Bea glances up at Allie to find her leaning on her elbows again, gazing down at Bea with a look so sensual, it makes Bea lose her focus for a moment.   
She pulls back, her confidence suddenly slipping away as she realises Allie has grown silent, all but for her laboured breath.

  
"Do you want me to stop?" She asks shyly.

  
"God no," Allie groans instantly, her sweet smile putting Bea's mind at ease a little.

  
"It just dawned on me that this must be murder on your neck and jaw."

  
She reaches back and pulls out a pillow, lifting her hips as she positions it beneath herself.

  
"Are you ok to keep going?" She asks sweetly, reaching down to cup Bea's cheek.

  
Bea can only nod, her voice lost somewhere within, behind the emotion that stings her eyes.

  
"What you're doing feels amazing babe," Allie reassures her.

  
With a brief smile, Bea moves back in and the new position is _incredible_.   
Its not long before Allie falls against the bed again, moaning and writhing and gripping the quilt beneath her so as not to completely lose herself.

  
"Bea... oh... God, Bea," Allie moans helplessly, her voice strained with pleasure and Bea already knows by her tone and pitch that she's nearing the edge of euphoria.

  
She glances up to see Allie's stomach twitching with each laboured breath, one hand buried in her blonde hair and the other palming at her own breast.  
The sight, mixed with Allie's breathless moans makes Bea's abdomen ache with want.

  
"Ohh.... fuck... Bea," She sobs and Bea feels her own walls clench.

  
"I'm so close... mmm... please....I need...let me come."

  
Without even a second of hesitation, Bea moves her mouth, positioning her lips around Allie's hardened clit.   
She feels Allie's body tremble sharply as she closes her thighs against Bea's head, moaning something incoherently that Bea can't make out through furiously quivering legs.  
With only a few firm rolls of Bea's tongue, Allie comes, her whole body shaking as her beautifully uttered moans fill the room, lessening in frequency and volume as she eventually rides out the last waves of pleasure, Bea's tongue staying with her through it all, slowly bringing her down from her blissful high.  
As Allie's body goes limp and her breathing begins to slow, Bea pulls back, smiling at her girlfriend's spent form as she swipes the back of her hand against her mouth and crawls up the bed.

  
"Oh my God, Bea," Allie whispers with heavy breath, pulling Bea closely to her, placing a lazy kiss against Bea's lips.

"You just blew my mind."

  
Bea chuckles, a dry, coarse sound that seems to bring Allie out of her groggy, post-orgasm reverie a little.

  
"So it was OK?" Bea asks quietly, unable to stop herself from placing kisses on Allie's neck and chest.

  
"OK?" Allie repeats, scandalised.   
  
"Are you kidding? I'm not in any frame of mind to formulate words right now, that alone should tell you how good it was," she giggles, her breathing still coming slightly irregularly.

  
A little time passes as they lay silently, softly touching and slowly kissing, simply enjoying being close to one another.   
Allie's hands can't seem to stay still and after a while she plunges her tongue into Bea's mouth with a low, gutteral groan, effectively breaking Bea's mind out of recounting what she had just done to Allie's body.

  
"If you still want me to," Allie whispers heavily between kisses. "I'd love to make you come with my mouth."

  
And with that, Bea is powerless against her desires, not that she cares to ever tame them anyway.   
As she watches Allie work her way slowly down her body again, Bea loses all capacity of her mind, knowing that this time, things won't be interrupted prematurely by her own overstimulation.   
Allie's mouth trails down her skin and before Bea even realises it, her underwear drops to the floor with a light sound that she barely hears over Allie's gasp as she gazes sensually between Bea's legs.

  
"Is that what I do to you, Bea?" She asks, placing a gentle kiss to the inside of Bea's thigh.

  
Bea understands that Allie wants to hear her, but Bea can't form a single thought, her need for Allie so overwhelming that the ache in her lower abdomen is almost painful and the pulse in her clit distracts her from any kind of thought process.

  
"Yeah," she groans, starting to lose control of her breath already.

  
Allie slides her hand beneath Bea's backside, silently requesting her to lift her hips and she pushes a pillow into the open space.

It's a pleasure that Bea could not have ever fathomed, as hard as she may have tried.   
Feeling Allie's hot mouth against her even hotter skin as the blonde works her up slowly and carefully, as if she has nothing but time and nothing else on her mind except bringing Bea to her pleasure moment, forces tears to slip from Bea's eyes.   
Allie looks up as Bea releases a high pitched sob, surprisingly feminine for her usually husky, cracked tone.   
Her hand finds Bea's clutching at the edge of the bed and she threads their fingers together, holding the redhead's hand through it all, intensifying the love and affection that tugs at Bea's wildly beating heart.   
  
It doesn't last as long as she might have liked because she's just so worked up and Allie seems to know exactly where to touch her.   
As Allie takes Bea's clit into her lips and rolls her tongue gently around the firm bud, Bea clamps her eyelids shut, losing every last shred of control over the sounds that spill from her mouth.   
Bea can feel her orgasm building in the depths of her stomach, a firm tingling gracing her toes and fingertips, a pleasantly burning fire smouldering beneath her skin.

  
"Ohh Allie... Allie... oh..." Bea moans, repeating her name like an affirmation.

  
Allie reaches up and closes a warm hand over Bea's left breast, squeezing lightly and it's all that Bea needs to push her over the edge into transcendence.

  
  
Bea wakes with a light jolt some time later, finding her cheeks still wet with tears, her limbs totally relaxed and heavy.   
Allie is beside her, her head resting in her palm and propped up by her elbow and she's gazing at Bea through the fractured darkness with a sweet, assuring smile.

  
"What happened?" Bea asks, frowning.

  
Allie slides her hand from Bea's hip to rest in the small of Bea's back, gently urging their bodies closer together.

  
"You passed out from your orgasm," she whispers before she places a soft, lingering kiss to Bea's cheek.

  
"It was beautiful."

  
Before Bea can completely lose herself to confusion and the questions that run rampant in her mind, Allie kisses her again, long, slow, luxurious kisses that would have the design to pull her back into a deep longing, if it wasn't for the intense pleasure that she still feels the effects of.

  
"You're perfect, Bea. I feel beyond lucky to call you mine."

  
. . . . .

  
Once they had both suitably recovered, Bea and Allie made their way back to the dining room for the dinner that their passion for one another had almost forced them to neglect.   
Allie is dressed only in her robe, her underwear long abandoned, her short hair pulled into a low ponytail and Bea is wearing one of Allie's oversized shirts.  
They're sitting beside one another, the idea of sitting opposite each other with the width of the table between them seemed insane.

  
"It's really difficult to eat with one hand," Bea chuckles, her dry, raspy laughter instantly softening Allie's gaze.

  
"You want me to give you your hand back?" Allie asks with a cheeky smirk that Bea already knows means she has no intention of letting go of her hand.

  
Bea brings their joined fingers up to her mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of Allie's hand.

  
"No way."

  
A comfortable silence befalls them and Allie sips her wine as Bea inhales deeply.

  
"So you know that I had an appointment after work?"

  
Allie nods as she swallows, placing her glass down against the table and turning her body towards Bea's, eager to give her girlfriend her full attention.

  
"I uh, I went to see Bridget."

  
"Franky's ex? The Doctor?"

  
"Yeah," Bea rasps. "I wanted to talk to her about Franky... but also about me."

  
Allie simply nods and waits patiently for Bea to continue.   
It's something that still floors Bea, the way Allie is so forbearing, never forceful or insistent.

  
"I asked her for help.... with my past," Bea says quietly, trying to find the right words to help Allie understand.   
  
  
She drops her eyes to their joint hands, watching Allie's thumb make gentle sweeping motions against her skin, feeling a surge of warmth clench at her heart.

  
"I don't want memories of Harry and our past together affecting me anymore.   
And they don't, most of the time. But occassionally I have moments.   
They've been fewer and less intense since you came along... but I know that I can't rely on you and our relationship to fix all of my problems, that's not fair on you.   
I need to be strong in myself so that what we have can be strong too."

  
When Bea finally manages to look up, she finds Allie glancing at her with unshed tears in her light eyes, her ample lips pressed together to conceal the quiver in them.

  
"You're the most wonderful person I've ever met, Allie. And you deserve the best... of _everything_.   
I want to be the best version of myself for you.   
What we have together... it's important to me. If I screwed it up in some way or if I hurt you, I'd never forgive myself."

  
Before Bea can fully exhale the deep breath she draws in, Allie moves, sitting on Bea's lap as she throws her arms around Bea's neck and clings to her tightly.   
As Bea wraps her arms around Allie's upper body, she feels the shuddering breaths she takes.  
When Allie eventually loosens her grip and pulls back in the embrace, Bea finds her cheeks painted with tears, despite the shy smile that pulls at her lips.

  
"I adore you, Bea. Do you know that? I completely and utterly adore you," Allie sighs in an almost painful way.

  
It's not love, but it may as well have been for how deeply it touches Bea.

A mere moment passes, not even a heartbeat before their lips find one anothers, slowly and softly, comforting and adoring in ways that words couldn't possibly communicate.   
It reminds Bea of their very first kiss, gentle and warm, but without the shy nervousness getting in the way of technique.

When they eventually part, Allie chuckles lightly out of embarrassment over her show of emotion, Bea deducts, so she tenderly wipes Allie's remaining tears away with a gentle swipe of her thumb.

  
"So, you said you also spoke to Bridget about Franky?" Allie sniffs, eager to move the conversation along.

  
"Yeah, I gave her a stern talking to."

  
"Did you?" Allie quizzes happily, not convinced for even a moment that there is a firm side to Bea's placid personality, despite having seen a glimpse of it for herself.

  
"Yeah. That's what I meant this morning when I said I didn't want to lose my nerve, I'd been planning to visit Bridget since Franky poured her heart out to me on Saturday."

  
Allie simply nods in understanding, a brief flash of pain twisting her features as she thinks of Franky and her broken heart.   
  
  
"I felt pretty bad when Bridget started crying though. All this time Franky thought Bridget was happy and nonchalant about the breakup, but it turns out they're _both_ hurting, they both want the other back."

  
Allie's eyes widen, earning a giggle from Bea.

  
"Are you gonna tell Franky?"

  
"Nah, I've got a better idea, one that Bridget's on board with too."

  
"Bea Smith, what are you up to?" Allie grins as she moves against Bea's lap, sliding a leg into the perfect position so she's straddling Bea, almost completely disturbing Bea's train of thought.  
  
Her eyes fall, appreciating Allie's position, considering all of that bare skin beneath the light fabric of the blonde's robe.   
As her eyes find Allie's again, they're dark and hooded with lust for what Bea can only imagine is the millionth time that day.

  
"I've got a plan," Bea utters, her raspy tone full of innuendo.

  
"Can I help? I wanna help," Allie breathes as Bea's lips find the tender skin of her neck.

  
"You can, but first? I have an entirely different plan in mind for you," Bea moans seductively, capturing Allie's lips in a way that tells of her new onset of desire as their breath mingles.

  
Bea decides that the details and the remnants of dinner can wait as she truly begins to understand that when it comes to Allie Novak, all other things seem insignificant.  
  
  
-  
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie meets Debbie over Skype and Debbie has some sage words for Bea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thanks for your patience with this chapter :)  
> You are all wonderful and make me smile! 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to you, my lovely Ballie shippers.   
> I don't know about you guys, but all of this Frallie business is breaking my heart :(
> 
> I hope you enjoy Chapter 21 :)
> 
> XOXOXO

  
It's Friday afternoon and Bea is sweeping away cropped locks of hair as she prepares to close up the salon for the day.   
The others had left long ago, headed for the bar to celebrate the end of another week, leaving Bea alone with her thoughts which she finds to be full of blonde hair, blue eyes and soft lips accentuated by a perfectly positioned beauty spot.

Bea is pulled from her deep contemplations by the sounds of movement and she looks up to see Maxine emerge from the back room walking carefully in the direction of the small table by the window, two steaming mugs in hand.

Bea smiles at the gesture, resting the broom against the back of a chair as she follows her friend.   
There is no need for words or invitations, Bea understands the routine.

  
"It's been a while since we've done this, hey hon?" Maxine asks, smiling in that sweet, gentle way that's brimming with love and comfort.

  
"Too long," Bea replies warmly.

  
"Well, you've been busy," Maxine winks and grins wider in the way that she always does when she's about to talk about Allie.

  
Bea can only nod, her head is so full of thoughts and images of her beautiful girlfriend that there's little room for thoughts of any other kind.

  
"So how's everything going with your girl?"

  
The mere mention of Allie in the context of belonging to Bea still sends her heart into overdrive and splits her mouth with an impossibly large, bashful smile.

  
"Everything's great. I'm going to her place again tonight and we're going to Skype with Deb."

  
"Oh Bea, how wonderful. Your two girls meeting for the first time," Maxine gushes happily.   
"Is Allie nervous?"

  
"I don't know," Bea replies around a mouthful of her tea.   
"If she is then she hides it pretty well. Not that she has anything to be nervous about, I think Deb will really like her."

  
"I have no doubt about that, hon. Allie is such a sweet girl, as soon as Debbie sees the way she looks at you, she'll fall in love with her too."

  
Bea snaps her gaze up from her mug and into bemused brown eyes.   
Maxine waits for Bea's reaction, a knowing smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, an arched eyebrow challenging her.

  
"Too?" Bea husks, feeling a blush beginning to creep its way across her skin.

  
"Come on, Bea. I've seen that look before, never on _you_ , but I know what it is, I know what you're feeling."

  
Bea tries to surpress her growing smile behind pursed lips, hanging her head downwards when she realises there's no point in trying to hide a single thing from Maxine.   
As she glances up again, her eyes are comfortably glimmering with tears and the brunette extends a warm hand that gathers Bea's within it, gripping the redhead's fingers in a way that both supports and encourages.

  
"Is it _that_ obvious?" Bea asks quietly, hints of self consciousness colouring her tone.

  
She thinks that she may already have the answer, since her two best friends have managed to read it etched on her face as though it were some kind of wordless proclamation.

  
"It really is wonderful to see you like this, you deserve happiness, God knows you've waited long enough to find it."

  
Maxine's own eyes begin to cloud and her other hand closes over the top of her and Bea's joined hands to really accentuate her sentiment.

  
"I haven't told Allie yet," Bea murmurs, sniffing away her intrusive emotions.

  
"What are you waiting for?" Maxine asks gently as Bea shakes her head and shrugs.

  
"I dunno, the perfect time I guess."

  
Maxine simply smiles at her in the warmest way.

  
"Bea, honey, regardless of where you are or what you're doing, when you're beside Allie and you feel the words rolling around that overworked brain of yours, or you can taste them on the tip of your tongue, _that's_ when you say it," Maxine utters, her honeyed voice appealing to the tears behind Bea's eyes all over again.

" _That's_ the perfect time."

  
As Bea looks at her friend pleadingly, communicating her nervousness as thoughts of the inevitable moment flood her mind, Maxine simply nods gently, somehow effectively halving Bea's anxiety.

  
"Bea, don't think, just feel."

  
. . . . .

  
Bea arrives at Allie's house as the sun begins to make its descent into the horizon, colouring the sky in delicate pink orange hues.   
She knocks on the front door and after receiving no answer, she tries the handle, finding it unlocked so she helps herself inside.

  
"Allie?" She calls through the quiet house.

  
"I'm in the office," Bea hears Allie's slightly muffled tone, obscured by walls and distance.

  
Bea heads for the hallway, rounding the corner into the room with a smile that quickly fades as she sets eyes upon Allie.   
Her features are stricken with preoccupation, her eyebrows furrowed and her usually milky complexion is pink from her panic.   
She's moving about the room frantically, organising papers into no particular order, shoving books and folders into gaps in the adjacent bookshelf.

  
"Hey," Allie breathes, barely looking at Bea with a flash of a half smile that's gone in a blink.

  
It makes Bea's chest feel heavy to witness it, her girlfriend void of the warmth and affection that she usually exudes.

  
"Hi... what are you doing?" Bea asks, doing nothing at all to mask the uneasiness she's beginning to feel at the sight before her.

  
"Cleaning up," Allie says briskly, making no effort to stop as she breezes past Bea and over to her office desk where she begins to stuff more paperwork into her desk drawers.

  
"It looks pretty clean to me," Bea offers, glancing about the room.

  
Allie is so preoccupied with her task that she gives no reply.

She doesn't entirely know why, but Bea begins to feel small, as though she's shrinking beneath the weight of this new and different side of Allie.  
She crosses her arms across her chest, still frowning.

  
"Allie, what's wrong?"

  
"Nothing," She says dismissively.

  
Bea swallows hard, a mere moment of silence passing before she decides to perservere.

  
"I can tell _something_ is wrong. Are you alright?"

  
"I'm fine," she says rather unconvincingly.   
"I just want to make sure everything is perfect for Debbie."

  
Suddenly, Bea understands.   
She moves to where Allie is, her back to the redhead and Bea places a hand around her upper arm.

  
"Allie, stop," she says gently.

  
"I can't, I'm not done."

  
"Please, Allie..."

  
"There's still so much to do and it's nearly time to call Debbie..."

  
"Hey, hey, hey, Allie just stop for a minute," Bea utters firmly, finally managing to come face to face with the blonde and it's only then that Bea sees the extent of her panic plainly written across her features.   
The nervousness that she had worked so hard to hide, now manifesting in flushed skin, slightly laboured breath and burdened eyes.

  
"Relax," Bea urges calmly, rubbing the expanse of Allie's arms between her elbows and shoulders soothingly.

  
"Just breathe."

  
Allie complies as she slowly exhales, her appearance finally softening.

  
"Better?"

  
Allie can only nod in reply as she takes a second deep, calming breath.

Overwhelmed with a need to comfort her, Bea leans in and presses a brief but gentle kiss to Allie's cheek, finding her soft skin searingly warm beneath her lips.

  
"Talk to me, beautiful, what's going on?"

  
Allie manages to smile a little as Bea slides her hands down the younger woman's arms and threads their fingers together.

  
"Its just that... I've never dated someone with a kid before. The whole meeting my girlfriend's daughter thing is a first for me," Allie sighs.

  
"I've never had a girlfriend before, so all of this is a first for me too," Bea giggles, a light, airy sound that's mostly fractured by her husky voice.

"What are you afraid of exactly?"

  
Allie nibbles on the inside of her cheek a little, taking her time to gather her thoughts.

  
"That Debbie won't like me, that she'll think I've turned her Mum over to the dark side," she murmurs with a light laugh that Bea knows is not out of any actual amusement.

"She's the most important person in your life, I don't know what I'd do if she doesn't think I'm good enough for you."

  
Allie lowers her head as though her admission is a shameful one.   
For once, it takes no time for Bea to search her mind for something of comfort to say.

  
"Darling," she says softly, cradling Allie's jaw in her palm as her other hand remains firmly threaded with the blonde's.   
  
Bea is uncertain if its the gesture or the new term of endearment that brings a soft smile to Allie's lips.

  
"Of course Deb is going to like you, there's not one single thing about you that anybody could dislike.   
You've shown me nothing but kindness and patience and compassion and so much affection and Deb knows that.   
She knows that you haven't forced me or persuaded me into anything."

  
Allie's smile grows by the smallest margin.

  
"You've been talking about me to her?"

  
"To be honest, I haven't stopped talking about you to anybody that will listen," Bea says with a chuckle, finally managing to coax one from Allie too.  
  
  
As Bea gently swipes her thumb across Allie's cheek, she tries to deliberate what she's going to say next, having decided to completely ignore Maxine's earlier encouragements.

  
"She's looking forward to meeting you because after everything with Harry... I wasn't interested in being with anyone...ever. You changed that, Allie."

  
With soft, hooded eyes and an angelic expression that's awash with adoration, Allie leans in and presses her ample lips against Bea's.   
Its brief and firm because Allie wraps her long arms around Bea's slender body, collecting handfuls of her dark clothing in her fists, clinging to the older woman as though she might never let go. And for a long while, she doesn't.

  
"You're so wonderful Bea," Allie whispers, chasing her articulation with an enthusiastic peppering of soft, warm kisses on Bea's neck and shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I freaked out," Allie sighs.

  
"It's OK, think nothing of it, my beautiful girl."

  
Bea pulls back in Allie's arms to find her eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears so she leans in again, kissing her gently, the kind of kiss that sends a swirl to Bea's stomach, intensifying when Allie's tongue brushes past her lips and into the warmth of her mouth.   
  
_I love you_ , Bea's mind plays on repeat, begging her mouth to make the sounds and shapes of the sentiments that her heart feels so intensely.   
But as Allie pulls away and gazes at her with clear and deep affection, the words get lost somewhere within and Bea finds herself silent, her mouth slightly open, her breath holding in her chest.   
Allie simply glances at her softly, taking in every expanse of the redhead's expression.

  
"I'm gonna go pour you a glass of wine and then we're going to call Debbie, OK?" she finally manages.

  
"OK," Allie whispers, smiling sweetly, sending the rhythm of Bea's heart into disarray.

  
. . . . .

  
"Mum!" Debbie squeals happily.

  
"Deb! Hi baby girl," Bea giggles in elation, pressing her fingertips to Debbie's pixellated face on the computer screen before her.

  
The connection isn't the best and it makes it difficult to see all of her features, but simply a glimpse of all of that curly, chesnut hair cascading over her shoulders and chocolate brown eyes that she hasn't seen for far too long and Bea has to fight hard against the tears that want to fall from her eyes.

  
"It's so good to see you baby. How are you? Are you OK? You look skinny, are you eating properly?"

  
Debbie rolls her eyes at the onslaught of questioning.   
  
  
"Yes Mum, trust me, I do nothing but eat," she giggles.

"I've missed you, Mum. Its so good to see you too, you look amazing. Being in a relationship suits you." Debbie gushes.

  
Bea smiles impossibly wider, dipping her head bashfully.

  
"So I hear," she husks, glancing up at Allie who is sitting beside the desk and out of Debbie's sight as they share a smile.

  
"Where are you right now?" Debbie asks, gesturing to the parts of the room that she can see behind her Mum.

  
"I'm at Allie's house."

  
"Is she there? I really wanna meet her."

  
As Bea glances over to Allie again, she searches her features for any signs of anxiety before she raises her eyebrows, a wordless question to which Allie simply nods happily.

  
"She's here sweetie, she's pretending to be shy," Bea says, trying to lighten the mood a little, holding out her hand which Allie gently accepts, dragging her chair beside the redhead.

Bea watches Allie as her eyes lock onto Debbie for the first time and she hears a small gasp catch in her throat.

  
"Hey Debbie, it's great to finally meet you, your Mum's told me so much about you," Allie says kindly, gripping Bea's hand tightly beneath the cover of the table.

  
"Hi Allie, likewise. It's a shame our first meeting couldn't be in person."

  
"Don't worry, there'll be plenty of time for that when you get home."

  
What a concept. It makes Bea's heart thud fiercely with affection when she realises there are still months until Debbie returns home and Allie clearly plans on being around.  
Both Bea and Debbie smile at the sentiment.

  
"So how's Spain?" Allie asks, oblivious to the wink that Bea shares with her daughter.

  
"Beautiful, although it's raining today so the girls and I are just chilling at the hotel.   
It's almost lunchtime here so we're gonna go down and check out the restaurant soon which I'm excited about," she says, her eyes lighting up at the thought of food.

  
The conversation flows easily as Debbie fills them in on her most recent travels and Bea finds that after a while, Allie's hand loosens within hers until she's comfortable enough without it, stroking Bea's knee instead, evoking an involuntary smile from the redhead.   
It takes Bea longer than it should to realise just how much her eyes are drawn to Allie as she laughs, jokes and swaps stories with Debbie.

  
"Alright, I'll let you ladies have some mother daughter time, give you a chance to catch up and also to talk about me," Allie offers after a while, with that devilish grin that Bea has come to know and love and it earns a giggle from Debbie.

  
"It's been a pleasure meeting you Deb, enjoy the rest of your trip and have fun, OK?"

  
"Thanks Allie and thank you for setting us up with Skype, it means a lot to me that you'd do that for me and Mum."

  
There's a warmth in Bea's chest as she watches the exchange between her two girls that only amplifies as Allie smiles warmly.

  
"You're welcome. Just between you and me, I'd do anything to see your Mum smile."

  
"Awww," Debbie utters with a small giggle, as visibly touched by the blonde's words as Bea is.

  
"Pizza for dinner babe?" Allie asks Bea, her gentle voice a little quieter as she stands and rearranges her chair, her crystal eyes fixed upon her girlfriend.

  
"Sounds good darling," Bea says, adopting the same volume as Allie, watching as the blonde's ample lips curl into a wide smile at the affectionate name.

  
"Ok, I'll call and order."

  
Bea's stomach tumbles as Allie leans in and presses a brief kiss to her cheek.  
With a quick wave at Debbie, she's gone, closing the door gently but not before she winks at Bea.

  
"Oh my God Mum," Debbie murmurs from behind her hand that she cups over her mouth, but Bea can still see a hint of the smile that's concealed beneath.

"You two are adorable! I can stop worrying about you now."

  
"What do you mean?" Bea asks with a smile, already knowing what her daughter is making reference to, but needing to hear her say it out loud.

  
"I was worried about leaving you on your own for so long, even though you assured me you'd be OK. I haven't told you this but I made Franky promise me she'd email me and keep me in the loop about everything, she's been sending me updates once or twice a week since I left.  
But now that I've met Allie, I know I don't need to worry. I can see how much she cares about you."

  
Bea's heart expands with a pleasurable warmth and there are so many reasons for it that she doesn't know which one to lend her focus to.

  
"I really like her, Deb," she murmurs a little helplessly, wishing her blushing cheeks away.

  
"Just like? Or love?" Debbie drawls, placing all of her emphasis on the last word that Bea seemingly cannot elude.  
  
  
She drops her head, picking at her pants as she tries desperately to surpress her smirk.

  
"You don't have to say anything Mum, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer," Debbie grins and Bea is certain that for a moment she sees tears in her daughter's eyes but the quality of her features on the screen makes her question it.

"Just promise me that you'll tell Allie how you feel."

  
"OK," Bea concedes, a little too flippantly for her daughter's liking.

  
"I'm serious Mum, I know that being with someone who treats you with love and respect and offers you a sense of safety is new and completely different, but it's all I've ever wanted for you, ever since I realised what that asshole was doing to you."

  
"Debbie, he's still your Father."

  
"No, he's the lowlife who tried to take you away from me," she snaps back, her voice breaking beneath the weight of her emotions, shocking Bea with them and her sudden stern side.

"You wasted so much of your life with him. Now you're free. Free to live the life that you were meant to."

  
Bea presses her lips together, fighting a losing battle as she tries to suppress the quiver in them, blinking hard at her tearing eyes.

  
"I've been thinking a lot while I've been away. All the places I've travelled to, all the wonderful things I've seen... it's all out there Mum, waiting to be discovered.   
There is so much beauty in life but you have to grab it, you have to chase the things that make you happy and leave behind the things that don't.   
Life is such a miracle, it shouldn't be wasted," Debbie smiles.   
  
"If you've found happiness with Allie, hold onto it.  
If you love her, don't waste another moment not telling her that."

  
Bea's eyes are clouded with tears but she manages to chuckle, her heart brimming with so much love and pride that she thinks she could burst.   
She's never known herself to be so abundantly emotional, her mind moving at light speed trying to focus on just one feeling at a time.   
She's proud of the woman her daughter has become, how the world outside of Bea's grasp has moulded her into an insightful, passionate adult.

She wants to say so many things, but none seem more important than what falls from her lips.

  
"I love you Deb."

  
She presses her fingertips to the screen again, to the face that is before her eyes yet so far out of reach.

  
"I love you too Mum, to the moon and back."

  
"To the moon and back," Bea echoes.

  
. . . . .

  
A little while later, Bea makes her way into the dining room, having said her goodbyes to her beloved daughter and composing herself sufficiently, riding out the last waves of sad regret that their parting had brought on.

Allie suddenly appears from the living room with a pizza box in her hands and moves behind the kitchen bench, a wide, warm smile spreading across her lips as her electric blue eyes settle on her girlfriend.

  
"Great timing beautiful, the pizza was just delivered."

  
Bea's heart thuds like a drum in her chest.   
She finds herself without reply, without words of any kind, except for her daughter's advice that plays repeatedly in her mind, filling even the most hard to reach places inside of her with the warm buzz of adrenaline.

She takes slow steps towards her girlfriend as the blonde moves about the kitchen, collecting plates and a couple of beers from the fridge.

  
"God, I can't believe how much Debbie is like you," Allie chuckles, her eyes firmly focused on the task at hand.

"Her hair, her cheekbones, her smile, you could totally pass as twins."

  
Bea can barely hear her over the thudding of her pulse in her ears, her stomach in knots.

  
"I got us chicken supreme with no mushrooms, just the way you like it," Allie says as she places a few slices on each plate, sucking the remnants of some sauce from her thumb and index finger.

  
Bea inhales sharply as she closes her shaky hands around Allie's hips and pulls her against her body, bringing their lips together in an instantly passionate kiss and she immediately plunges her tongue into the younger woman's mouth.   
It stuns Allie for a moment if her slow reaction is anything to go by, but in very little time at all, she's kissing Bea back with equal fervour, rivalling every sensual movement of Bea's persistent mouth and tongue.   
There's a part of Bea that doesn't want it to end, but they eventually part for some much needed air.   
She pulls back to find Allie's features thick with want, her beautiful eyes hooded, a coy smile pulling at the corners of her ample lips.

  
"If that's how you're gonna kiss me when I get you a pizza Bea, I'll buy you 10 pizzas a day until the end of time," she giggles, a wonderfully sweet sound that somehow erases any residual reservations that were left in Bea.

  
She couldn't smile in return if she tried, her mind heavy with three little words with a depth and significance far greater than anything else.

  
"Allie?" Bea unintentionally whispers, her voice so strained with the weight of what she's trying to say that she can't control its volume.

  
"Bea?" Allie smiles, looking playful.

  
Bea finally feels her own features soften then, with one deep, thoughtful glance into piercing blue eyes, she finds that everything else falls away.

  
"I love you."

  
Allie's face slackens as the words hang in the air, only the sounds of Bea's own furiously beating heart breaking the silence.   
It feels like hours go by as Bea nibbles the inside of her cheek but in reality she knows its only seconds.

  
"You do?" Allie asks in a breath, looking at Bea intensely, searching her eyes with shards of uncertainty.

  
Bea gulps hard, her mouth and throat dry from nerves and the sheer magnitude of her confession.  
As soon as she nods soundly, Allie leans in and Bea barely has time to react before she feels the blonde's tongue tickling the seam of her lips.   
She allows her entry, their breath mingling as they make out slowly, as if to savour every movement, every delicate touch.   
Allie is the first to pull back and as Bea opens her eyes, she gasps lightly at the emotions that are laid out across the blonde's features, affection, desire and something else that Bea hasn't seen before.

Allie gently tucks a section of red-brown curls behind Bea's ear, her eyes gleaming with her unshed tears.

  
"I love you too."

  
With a shared smile, Bea feels her chest grow warmer, her throat constricting with the emotions that she doesn't care to restrain.

  
"I've been in love with you for the longest time," Allie confesses warmly.

  
A single tear falls from Bea's eye, love and adoration pleasantly burning in every last expanse of sinew and skin.

  
"I have too," she whispers, resting her forehead gently against Allie's.   
  
"I just haven't been brave enough to say it."

  
Allie's hand gently strokes Bea's cheek, pursuing everything, trying to commit the sight and the feeling of Bea's features to memory.

  
"I've been holding back because I didn't want to scare you away," the blonde admits with a rare trace of shyness.

  
Bea tightens her arms around Allie's waist, trying to convey just how much it all means to her.

  
"You couldn't scare me away if you tried," she murmurs truthfully. "I've never wanted anything as much as I want you."

  
Allie smiles impossibly wider, her perfect eyes clouding again.

  
"My beautiful Bea," she whispers in an almost pained way.   
  
"You're the very best thing that's ever happened to me, I still can't believe you're mine."

  
She traces her thumb lightly across Bea's lower lip and the older woman can't help but press a gentle kiss to it.

  
"I never want to let you go, ever."

  
Bea smiles sweetly at the sentiment, a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob escaping her lips.   
She can't quite believe it, that she has the love of kind, sweet, heavenly Allie Novak.   
She could lose herself in curious thoughts, questioning what she did to deserve all of this perfection before her and try to pinpoint exactly what it is that Allie sees in her.   
Instead, she brushes her lips gently against Allie's, a touch as light as breath.

  
"Sounds perfect, my love," Bea whispers.

  
And with that, Allie leans in, capturing Bea's lips in a kiss so warm, passionate and sweet, it has the design to make the rest of the world fall away.  
  
  
-  
  
  
  


 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Plan - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday guys!
> 
> Thank you again for being so patient with me, it's very much appreciated.  
> I have news!  
> The good news? Chapter 22 is here!  
> The bad news? This story has almost come to an end.  
> Just a few chapters until we're at the finish line!
> 
> But let's not dwell on such things.  
> Read on and get happy :)
> 
> Avie  
> XO

  
"Fuckin hell Red," Franky snarks with furrowed brows.  
  
"When you asked me to go shopping with ya, I assumed you meant for sex toys, not groceries," she splutters in disgust, dragging her boot-attired feet against shiny linoleum.

  
Its late Saturday afternoon, nearing dusk and Bea is executing her plan.  
She doesn't need anything from the store, its merely a distraction, something to keep Franky busy while Bridget plays her part in the scheme.

  
"I thought it would be a nice thing to do together," Bea mumbles, hoping the nerves that are bundled in her stomach aren't as perceptible as she suspects they are.

  
"Well it's not, it's lame," she retorts, emphasising her point by yanking a trolley sharply from its bay.

"In future, save this kinda mundane shit for your girlfriend."

  
Bea is helpless against her grin, the petulance in her friend reminding her of a time when Debbie was young and impossible.  
Thankfully, it was merely a brief phase. Franky on the other hand, has Bea wondering if she had ever outgrown the terrible twos.

Suddenly, the brunette stops in her tracks.

  
"You don't need help picking out fresh produce," Franky says with narrowing eyes that convey her sudden suspicions.

"Why am I actually here?"

  
Shit.  
  
Bea thinks she's been found out, her devious plan thwarted by thinly veiled reasoning and poor planning.

  
"No reason," she mumbles behind the curtain of hair she uses to cover her dishonest face.

"I just wanted your company."

  
Franky, however, is far too intuitive for her own good and sees right through her.

  
"Piss off, I'm not that stupid Red. What's going on?"

  
"Nothing!" Bea grins, begging her brain to come up with something.

"I just... wanted to hang out... you know, talk."

  
Franky's light eyes narrow and study Bea's eyes with a deep intention before they're suddenly wide, her mouth falling open with her sharp gasp.

  
"You ate pussy!" She exclaims with a smirk and a pointed finger.

  
"What?! Franky..." Bea manages through gritted teeth, mortified by the brunette's volume in the very public setting.

  
"You did, didn't ya? I could tell there was something different about ya."

  
Bea's eyes widen in horror and disbelief.  
She begins to wonder what it is about her that's so telling.

  
"Keep your voice down, would you?" Bea begs, her voice coming out in a strangled croak as she looks around for any pair of eyes that may be on them.

  
"Nah, no way Red," Franky grins devilishly. "You wanted to drag me to the fuckin grocery store to chat? Then let's chat."

  
Bea sighs heavily at her friend's challenging insistence and at her own ineptitude.  
Her mind is suddenly full of doubt and she gives into thoughts that she's in way over her head.  
In all the years she's known Franky, not once had she ever managed to deceive her in any way, however miniscule.  
But this situation begs for all of Bea's care and attention and she's going to give it her all because its all for Franky.

  
"OK," Bea sighs, defeated, an idea coming to her as though it was manufactured by divine intervention.

"Forget the shopping, that was a shit idea. Do you wanna go get a drink?"

  
Franky smirks. "You'd better be talking about booze, Red."

  
Bea nods, wishing she'd thought of it before now.  
Abandoning the trolley where it sits, Franky turns on her heel and makes a brisk start towards the exit and Bea uses the opportunity to check her phone while the tattooed brunette isn't looking, finding a message from Bridget from not too long ago.

  
**Hi Bea, I've just arrived. Will need at least an hour,**  
 **I hope you manage to keep F entertained for that long.**  
 **I can't thank you enough for everything.**  
 **B x**

  
**. . . . .**

  
It's a short car ride to the bar so Bea takes her time, taking extra care to stick to the speed limit, stopping at amber lights, doing everything she can to keep Franky for as long as possible.

  
"Christ Red, I thought we'd never bloody get here, the way you were driving," Franky groans, as she plonks down on the stool beside Bea, sliding a bottle of beer across the table to the redhead.

"Seems like you'd do anything to delay telling me about your little sex-capades."

  
Bea can't help but smile.

  
"So come on, spill. I'm dying to hear all about it."

  
There's no part of her that wants to share her intimate experiences but as Bea reminds herself that she's doing all of this for Franky and the happiness that she deserves, she pushes her reservations aside but not before she takes a large gulp of her beer.

  
"What do you want to know?"

  
"Have ya taken a page out of the Franky Doyle how-to-fuck guide?"

  
Bea fixes her eyes firmly on the glass bottle between her hands.

  
"What you said before, when we were at the store... that's what happened," Bea murmurs.

  
"You did or Blondie did?" Franky asks gently, knowing that teasing her friend in this moment wouldn't do any good.

  
"We both did... I did it first."

  
Bea feels a warm hand close over her forearm, offering encouragement.

  
"That took a lot of guts to go first. Good on ya."

  
As Bea glances over, she finds Franky smiling warmly.

  
"How'd ya go?"

  
Bea takes another sip of her drink, gathering a little more liquid courage.

  
"Alright. I was worried that I was doing it wrong...but..." she fumbles, unable to finish.

  
"She liked it?"

  
Bea nods, smiling a little.

  
"And she...?" Franky says, rolling her hand, trying to imply her meaning.

  
"What?"

  
" _Arrived_ at her destination?"

  
Bea chuckles lightly, finally understanding and as she nods again, she's met with a bright, assuring smile.

  
"Well then, ya got nothing to worry about. I'm proud of ya. It sounds like you've taken to all of this like a natural.  
Maybe you've been gay all along?"

  
Bea thinks about this for a short time and Franky watches as her eyes move about, locking onto nothing in particular, leaving silence between them, letting Bea organise her thoughts.

  
"I don't know," she husks after a while. "I haven't wanted to be with anyone else, not even Harry really. I think I was with him in the beginning because I was too young to realise what I actually wanted. Then when Deb came along, I think I stayed because I didn't want to break up our family. Then things got... bad... and I was too scared to leave."

  
Bea seems to lose herself to her memories for a moment, her silent, far off gaze wearing off after a little time.

  
"Being with someone again... It wasn't something I was actively seeking. I thought I'd be happy being on my own for the rest of my life."

  
"And then your little Blondie came along and now you're smitten," Franky says with a wide grin.

  
"It's more than that," Bea admits almost shyly, the warmth of her usual blush creeping its way across her features.

"I told her that I love her."

  
"No fuckin way!" Franky exclaims with wide eyes. "What'd she say?"

  
Bea can't help but smile shamelessly as she recalls the moment, feeling just as elated and warm in this moment as she did when it all happened.

  
"She loves me too."

  
Franky throws her arms around Bea, giggling in a way that the redhead has never heard before, a sound of pure joy and happiness.

  
"Holy shit Red, look at you, in a loving relationship with a fuckin hottie. I think that deserves a toast."

  
Bea obliges, following suit as Franky raises her beer bottle into the air.

  
"And to think, this is where it all got real. We were sitting right here at this very table," Franky muses.

  
As Bea takes a quick glance around the busy bar, she recalls the night when Allie approached her, asking about motorbikes in order to get Bea to open up.  
She remembers the look of disappointment across the blonde's perfect features when Franky interrupted their moment and then their brief and awkward encounter in the bathroom.  
She remembers feeling as though it was all so far fetched to believe that anyone could be interested in her, particularly someone as beautiful as Allie.

Bea allows herself to appreciate how far she's come in a few weeks, how much she's changed and how much of her life has changed.

  
Yes, Bea thinks. It all really is worthy of celebration.

  
"Thank you, Franky," she murmurs softly.

  
Her tattooed friend seems to understand her meaning, nodding soundly and smiling in the warmest way before she takes another sip of her drink.

  
"So now that I've found my love, we need to work on finding yours," Bea husks, watching as Franky's smile fades.

  
"Nah," she says quietly, painfully. "I've already found mine. I guess I just wasn't hers."

  
Bea is certain her heart would have fractured in her chest by now if it weren't for the knowledge that Bridget is currently working hard on making amends.  
She wishes she could tell Franky just how wrong she is, but as she eyes the time on Franky's phone that lays on the table before them, she realises there isn't much longer until it all becomes clear.

  
"You'll be OK," Bea says simply, sliding a hand over Franky's forearm, offering support with a gentle, assuring squeeze.

  
"Was that optimism? Coming from Bea Smith?" Franky grins.

  
"Maybe," Bea utters happily with a casual shrug of her shoulders.

  
"Fuck," Franky sighs in jest. "Now I've seen it all."

  
Bea manages to keep Franky occupied for well over an hour.  
They talk about seemingly everything and nothing, they laugh more than they ever have in each other's company and Franky even persuades Bea into playing a game of pool, the young brunette visibly surprised by Bea's keen skills with a pool cue.

Eventually, Bea has to practically drag her friend from the bar before she inevitably starts ordering shots.  
Bea imagines that Bridget wouldn't be at all pleased if Franky showed up inebriated, hoping that mildly under the influence is acceptable.  
She manages to send a quick text message to Bridget as Franky climbs into the car, humming something so off-key Bea can't even recognise it.  
  
It's dark outside and thankfully, the cool night air eventually seems to coax away any lingering effects of alcohol.

  
Bea's heart thuds firmly in her chest as she pulls into her driveway.  
Out of her periphery, she sees Franky lean forward in her seat, squinting into the darkness, mouth hung slightly open.

  
"Hey isn't that Allie's car parked on the street?"

  
Bea feels her palms becoming slick against her steering wheel.

  
"I don't know, is it?" She says trying to sound indifferent but fearing that the unusually high octave in her voice has deceived her.

"I wasn't expecting her to come over tonight."

  
"Maybe she's surprising you with some spontaneous pussy," Franky giggles, enjoying Bea's inevitable blush.

  
They make their way to the balcony and Bea deliberately allows Franky to get ahead of her, inhaling deeply to slow her erratic pulse rate.  
As Franky pushes the door open, Bea hears a breath catch in her friend's throat at the sight before her.

The overhead lights are off, replaced by the warm, fiery glow of candlelight.  
As Bea looks around the space, she thinks there's literally hundreds of candles.  
They line the hall table and the coffee table in the living room, they cover the dining table and as the pair each take slow, wonderstruck steps further into the house, Bea notices the amber glow coming from the kitchen too.  
There's slow, gentle music playing softly and the enticing, aromatic smell of something warming in the oven.  
Franky is the first to notice the pink rose petals that litter the floor beneath their feet and Bea watches as her eyes follow their scattered line all the way up the stairs, disappearing into the darkness of the upstairs hallway.

  
"Fuck Red, I hope you know how lucky you are," Franky utters, astonished.

  
Bea smiles knowingly as the younger woman turns her gaze to the room again.

Just then, Allie emerges from the kitchen, carefully stepping over rose petals with a plate of oysters in her hands.

  
"Well hi," the blonde says softly, a broad smile illuminating her perfect features as she places the plate down onto the dining table that's beautifully set for two.

  
Bea can't tame her glance.  
Allie is wearing jeans and a simple black jumper and her blonde hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, but immersed in the soft yellow orange hues of the candlelight, Bea thinks she's never seen a more beautiful sight.

  
"Shit Blondie, oysters are my favourite. You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble just for me," Franky begins playfully.

"I mean, I know ya wanna bang me but you really didn't need to put _this_ much effort into it.  
A couple of drinks and I'm all yours," she winks.

  
Allie slants her body, leaning her hip into the back of a dining chair as she crosses her arms across her chest.

  
"What can I say?" She shrugs. "I know when something is worth the effort," she replies smoothly, punctuating her sentiment with a pointed wink at Bea.

  
Franky chuckles airily, turning sharply to glance at Bea, who is quite obviously distracted by piercing blue eyes, her face awash with love and affection.

  
"Ok lovebirds," the brunette murmurs, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her black jeans.  
  
"I'll get out of your hair for the night. Gimme ten minutes to pack some shit into an overnight bag and I'll head off to Maxi's so you two can get your fuck on in peace."

  
Neither of them answer, choosing to share a meaningful glance with one another instead as Franky briskly climbs the stairs.

Bea finally manages to move then, pulling herself from her distraction, knowing they're intruding on something now that begs for privacy.  
She watches as Allie's eyes fix upon her as she moves slowly toward her girlfriend, enjoying her sweet, immediately hooded glance and the way she bites her bottom lip.

  
"Rose petals?" Bea asks, amused, as she slides her hands across the crest of Allie's hip bones, pulling her close by the small of her back.

"I take it that was your idea."

  
"Adds a nice, romantic touch, don't ya reckon?" Allie smirks, gliding her palms up Bea's firm upper arms.

  
Bea simply hums, too taken with Allie's full lips, giving into her irrepressible need to feel them against her own.  
  
It's tame and sweet but slow and _so_ good.  
  
Bea could get lost in the feeling of it all but Allie's index finger tapping against her arm reminds her that tonight isn't about them.

  
"You managed to pick up the dinner OK?" Bea says as she pulls away, her voice rough and heavy with the weight of her adoration.

  
Allie nods. "I plated it up and it's warming in the oven."

  
"Thank you," Bea whispers warmly. "Let me just fix the champagne and the dessert and we can go."

  
"It's done," Allie replies gently, smiling wider as Bea appears shocked for a brief moment before she chuckles a little, the sound resembling a sharp exhalation.

  
"You're something else, Allie Novak," Bea murmurs as she reaches up and runs her fingertips through a section of blonde hair, earning the same, airy chuckle from the younger woman.

  
"So are you, Bea Smith," she whispers sweetly, resting her forehead against Bea's for a moment before she pulls back to gaze meaningfully into chocolate brown eyes.

  
"You organised all of this," she says, gesturing to the space around them with a brief motion of her head.  
  
"I'm just happy I could help you pull it off."

  
Bea dips her head a little bashfully, unused to this kind of congratulatory recognition.  
  
Her heart still skips a rhythm when Allie looks at her and right now, Bea knows the blonde's eyes are on her, appreciating every last part of her that she can see.  
She wonders if things will always feel this wonderful between them.  
She wonders if all the sweet looks and the gentle touches will always fill her stomach with the bittersweet fluttering of butterflies.

  
"Thank you, beautiful girl," Bea manages to whisper, the words a little laboured as she tries to rein in her emotions.

"For everything."

  
Allie simply smiles.

  
"Oh," she breathes, pulling her hand away to dig into the front pocket of her jeans.

"I almost forgot to give you this back," she continued, a key laying flat in the palm of her hand.  
  
  
The key to Bea's house, that she had given to Allie so she could help herself in and begin preparations for the evening while she herself was keeping Franky busy.

As Bea stares at the small, jagged piece of metal, a concept comes to her.  
She drags her eyes up to meet Allie's, a look of soft determination painting her features.

  
"Keep it."

  
Allie's eyes dart between Bea's and she's silent for a few moments, trying to understand the meaning of it all.

  
"I want you to keep it," Bea repeats, holding her a little tighter in the circle of her arms.

"You're welcome here anytime, Allie. You're my girlfriend and I love you and I want you to feel comfortable here. I want to share everything with you."

  
Bea watches Allie's face closely as her words imbibe. Its as though she's searching for words of her own, a phrase to express her feelings but for once, it seems Bea has managed to render the blonde speechless.  
She simply tucks the key back into her pocket, sighs and tilts her head, leaning into Bea's lips.  
  
Their kiss is soft and gentle and Bea can feel it all, the love, gratitude and devotion.  
As they part, she can see tears glimmering in the corners of Allie's eyes.

  
"I love you, Bea."

  
Bea smiles, feeling tears of her own beginning to well up within her chest.

  
"I love you too, sweetheart."

  
Allie chuckles, a small sob escaping her body along with it.

  
"Come on," she says, taking a deep, shuddering breath to compose herself.

"Let's leave them to it."

  
. . . . .

  
As Franky reaches the top of the stairs, greeted by darkness, she notices the sprinkling of rose petals stops at the edge of the landing.  
She frowns, wondering why Allie didn't continue them down the hall and into Bea's bedroom.

  
"Fuckin sappy lesbians," she groans to herself, trying to ignore the pangs of envy she feels.

  
She takes another step towards Debbie's room and as she pushes the door open, she gasps.   
She brings her hands up to her mouth as it hangs open, a signal of her shock.

Her light eyes dart around the spacious room.  
There's candles in here too, tiny tealights covering every surface, painting the room with an orange glow that seems to dance with every tiny flicker of minute flames.  
The floor is strewn with rose petals, they're all over the bed too.

Franky's wiry body begins to shake as she starts to lose control of her breath that is coming in quick, heavy shudders.

As her eyes fix upon the bed, she feels them begin to sting with hot, salty tears.

Bridget is perched upon the foot of the bed, holding a single, long stemmed pink rose.  
Her face is as unreadable as it always has been and she simply gazes at Franky, standing slowly, her eyes never leaving the younger woman's.

Franky is frozen, glued to the spot by shock and surprise, her solid heartbeat resonating loudly in her ears.

Suddenly, it all becomes clear to her.  
The candles, the petals, the oysters, none of it is for Bea.

It's for _her_.  
  
Bridget has done it all for her.   
  
  
  
_To be continued_  
  
  
. . . . .   
  
  


 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Plan- Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I know it's not my usual day to update, but I have a finished chapter and I thought I'd share it with you :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> XO

. . . . .   
  
  
"Gidge," Franky breathes, doing all that she can to mask the quiver in her voice and the tears forming in her eyes.

  
"Hello Franky," Bridget says quietly, grasping the rose between both of her hands, her eyes unreadable and fixed upon the younger woman, deciphering her facial features with determined intention.

  
Franky swallows hard. "You did this?"

  
Bridget nods, tracing her eyes across the room. "With Bea and Allie's help."

  
There's a moment of silence, each of them carefully trying to read the other.

  
"Where've ya been Gidge? I haven't seen ya, ya haven't called."

  
There's an edge of indignance in her tone, a trace of defiance, enough to plant the older woman to the spot and force her to really choose her words with care.

  
"You asked me not to. I listened," she says softly.   
  
"It's been difficult, I almost caved... more than once."

  
"So why didn't ya?" Franky shrugs.

  
"You said it's what you needed."  
  


Franky gulps, her throat dry as she feels a lump begin to form.

  
"So why now? What changed?"

  
Bridget inhales deeply, dropping her gaze to the ground for a moment and the tattooed woman uses the brief opportunity to quickly swipe away a tear that has begun its descent along her cheek.

  
"Nothing's changed, Franky," Bridget sighs, a quiver hitching in her breath.

"I never stopped loving you."

  
When Franky doesn't reply, too stricken with emotions, too many questions rolling around her mind, Bridget continues, taking a step toward the brunette, her slow movements communicating her uncertainty.

  
"I've been a fool. The way I treated you? I regret it every single second of every damn day since we've been apart."

  
Its then when Bridget grows a step closer that Franky can see the fine sheen of tears forming in the blonde's eyes.

  
"You deserve someone who drops everything to be with you when you ask her to.   
You deserve someone who gives you her full attention when you speak.   
You deserve someone who can see through that tough, stoic exterior of yours and find the soft, sweet, beautiful soul beneath."

  
Franky is powerless against the sob that Bridget's words pull from her body.   
She clears her throat as soon as it hits the air, trying desperately to maintain some shred of composure.

  
Bridget chances another step forward, slowly closing the distance between them.

  
"Someone who sees your warm, perfect heart and just wants to nurture it and keep it safe, keep _you_ safe.   
Someone who wants you and loves you wholeheartedly and unconditionally."

  
With another step, Bridget is within touching distance now. But Franky resists, chewing the inside of her cheek to control the quiver in her lip.

  
"I want to be that someone, Franky. I _am_ that someone. If you'll let me, I'll drop everything, I'll listen and see you, _really_ see you and nurture and provide safety but most of all?  
I just want to love you."

  
"Stop!" Franky yells.   
  
"I don't wanna hear any more!"

  
Bridget gasps at the volume and stern rigidity in the brunette's voice.   
She thinks that's it, that it's all over.   
That all the hard work, effort and planning have been in vain, that she's lost her love forever.   
She drops her eyes, too devastated to glance at the woman before her, at everything she's lost, undoubtedly forever.   
Her stomach dips with heaviness, her body hot with the bitter sting of grief.   
She can't control her emotions any longer and a sob spills from her mouth.

  
"I don't need your candles or your flowers or your heartfelt speeches," Franky continues, quieter this time, her voice coarse from yelling.

  
"I was yours the second I walked in that door."

  
Bridget swiftly brings her glance up, meeting Franky's eyes.

  
"Franky?" She utters in a questioning whisper, her mind trying to fathom the disparity between the two statements she'd just heard and the delivery of each of them.

  
"I've always been yours, Gidge. And I always will be," she whispers, her usually sharp and determined gaze now soft and brimming with love.   
A tiny, warm smile pulls at the corner of her thin lips.

  
"I love you."

  
There's little more than a rapid heartbeat between them before Bridget surges forward, tangling her arms around Franky's neck, bringing their lips together harshly at first, communicating her fierce and dominating need for this contact after having been deprived of it for so long.   
As Franky winds her long arms around Bridget's slender waist, drawing her body closer and moaning weakly against her mouth, their kiss softens, deepening as their lips part to receive one another's.   
Their kiss is slow and unhurried, as if they have all the time in the world for it, as though nothing else matters.   
Eventually, Franky can't help but smile against Bridget's mouth, burying her face into the curve of the older woman's neck, overjoyed to finally have the love of her life back in her arms.

The very place where Franky intends to keep her now and forever.

And this time, she has no doubt that the feeling is mutual.  
  


. . . . .

  
"Bridget's lovely," Allie remarks, as she opens Bea's car door for her.

  
Bea can't help but smile at the gesture and it reminds her of their first date, although Allie has never stopped showing her these little signs of attentiveness.   
She plonks down, smiling up at her girlfriend.

  
"Yeah, she's great. Perfect for Franky."

  
Allie moves to the opposite side of the car and chuckles a little as she slides into the driver's seat and starts the ignition, clipping her belt across her slim body.

  
"They seem like total opposites."

  
Bea nods emphatically. "Yeah, although some say opposites attract," she muses with a grin and a brief raise of her eyebrow.   
  
"And thank you for picking Bridget up. It would have been a dead giveaway that something was going on if Bridget's car was parked out the front."

  
"No problem," Allie replies warmly, her trademark cheeky grin slowly creeping in, curling her lips.

  
Bea's eyes dart across Allie's face as her eyes narrow.   
There's something in the way the blonde is casting her glance and smiling mischieviously that coaxes an involuntary smile and a confused frown from the older woman.

  
"What?"

  
"I did something," Allie confesses.

  
Bea's frown deepens as she cocks her head slightly, a silent question to which Allie merely glances pointedly at the back seat.   
Bea follows her eyes and notices her duffel bag, looking substantially fuller than usual and a second, unfamiliar bag beside it, one that she assumes is Allie's.  
  


"Two bags?"

  
Allie nods, trying to decipher Bea's now uncertain features.

  
"I know you'd planned for us to go back to my place tonight, but I thought we could do something a little different," she murmurs, suddenly looking not so confident.   
  
  
Bea simply listens, willing her heart rate back into a normal rhythm.

  
"I know you don't really like surprises but I'm hoping you'll go easy on me because I have good intentions."

  
"Okay," the redhead says, trying to piece it all together in her head.

  
"I booked us into a hotel for a couple of nights," Allie admits, her blue eyes darting between Bea's, seemingly searching for signs of panic.   
  
"It's not too far away, only about an hours drive but it's nice, it's right on the beach."

  
Bea wants to be more excited about it all, but her brain casts questions that demand answers before it will allow her the pleasure of feeling content.

  
"But I have to work on Monday."

  
Allie's smile returns in the smallest way.

  
"Nah you dont. I spoke to Maxine, she rearranged your clients. You don't have to be at work til Tuesday."

  
Bea begins to feel a gentle warmth radiate in her chest. She feels a tiny smile begin to creep its way onto her lips again but still she can't help but frown a little.

  
"Why?" She asks with a light chuckle.

  
"Do I need a reason?" Allie asks gently with a light shrug of a shoulder.   
  
"Because you've been working so hard lately and you deserve a little break," she adds when Bea remains silent, her curiosity not yet satisfied.

  
She doesn't reply and she stares at Allie a little helplessly, her mind still furiously working hard to figure it all out.

  
"Because you're my girlfriend and I want to do something special for you," the younger woman offers after a moment of silence.  
  
"And because I did some detective work and a little birdy told me that you've never had a weekend away before."

  
It's true, Bea concedes to herself.  
Harry was never one for grand gestures or nice things and their money was always spent on alcohol and replacing things that he had broken during his fits of rage, like furniture and windows.   
If Bea is honest with herself, the entire concept of staying in a hotel somewhere near enough to home seems a little odd, perhaps because it's all so unfamiliar and she just doesn't understand the need for it.

  
"Look," Allie utters, placing her warm palm over the older woman's thigh, pulling Bea from her thoughts and back into the bright, crystal blue eyes that she's fallen in love with.

  
"We don't have to go there if you don't want to, I can easily take us back to my place.   
You won't hurt my feelings if that's what you're worried about," she says with a warm smile.

  
"You're still in charge, Bea. If this is all too much, too soon or you're not comfortable with being whisked off somewhere at the last minute then-"

  
Bea leans in, breaking Allie's rambling with a tender kiss, then another and another.

  
"You really did all of that for me?" Bea asks in her gravelly tone, not bothering to lean back, knowing that whatever Allie's answer is, they're likely to end up kissing again.

  
Allie smiles, her eyes softening at the closeness of Bea's lips and body.

  
"I did," she murmurs a little seductively. "And if you feel like coming away with me this weekend, I plan to do a lot more for you."

  
"Oh?" Bea asks playfully, her own eyes mirroring the softness she sees in Allie's gaze.

"And what kind of things do you have planned?"

  
"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss such things," Allie utters smoothly.  
  
"This is one of those wait and see kinda deals."

  
Bea's body shudders with quiet, raspy laughter as Allie watches her with amusement, her beautiful blue eyes appreciating every visible part of the redhead's form.

  
"Well it would be rude of me to not even consider it, seeing as though you've gone to so much trouble."

  
"Hey," Allie whispers, leaning in as she presses her lips gently against Bea's cheek.   
  
"It's no trouble. My lady deserves to be treated like a queen."

  
Bea smiles as she hangs her head in an attempt to hide her bashful blush.

  
"I don't need special treatment Allie, I just need you."

  
They both lean in together, their smiling mouths automatically forming the sensual shape necessary for a wonderfully slow, tender kiss.

  
"So what do you think? Just you, me, a hotel room and the beach for two nights?" Allie whispers against Bea's lips.

  
The flash of youthful hope in her girlfriend's eyes and grin is enough to draw Bea back in for another kiss.

  
"Yes," she whispers happily. "I'd love to."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie enjoy their first night away together.
> 
> ***Chapter warning, NSFW***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm so sorry for the lack of regular updates lately.   
> Life continues to be busy with work, kids, illness and other commitments that I can't seem to say no to.   
> A huge thank you to everyone who is still following this little story :)
> 
> As a little gift (*coughs* bribe) for your patience, I give you Chapter 24  
> I hope you enjoy the sweet Ballie fluff and smut :)
> 
> With love,   
> Avie  
> XOXO

  
The drive to the hotel seemed far shorter than the hour Allie had said it was going to take, but Bea thinks that its because her girlfriend had kept her entertained with stories about her work day, her time with Bridget and her slightly off-key singing along with the radio.

It was quite dark by the time they reached their destination and as they got out of the car and made their way into the hotel's reception area, Bea could hear the crashing of waves on the shore and the cool night air had a tinge of salt so she knew the ocean wasn't far away.

As they reach their room, Allie drives the key into the lock, flashing a soft smile at Bea.

  
"After you, my lady," she murmurs, stepping aside to let Bea enter first.

  
With a gentle push of the door, Bea steps in and sees a large, impressive room, dully lit by the soft glow of the small bedside lamps on either side of the king sized bed.   
It's luxurious, fancier than anything Bea has ever seen before.

Bea chuckles lightly as her eyes find the scattering of red rose petals strewn across the mattress, her heart warming in her chest.

She turns to Allie who is leant against the closed door, her long arms folded across her chest as she smiles coyly.

  
"I figured what's good for Franky and Bridget is good enough for you too," she says lightly.

  
  
"Allie," Bea breathes, casting a warm, heartfelt glance at her girlfriend.

  
  
"Too much?" the blonde asks, a little concern evident in her raised eyebrows.

  
  
"No," Bea utters with a light shake of her head.

  
"It's just... you, you're so..." she shrugs, struggling to coordinate her thoughts with her mouth.

  
Bea takes the few steps that separate her and Allie, deciding to abandon the jumble of contemplations that are stuck somewhere between her mind and her tongue as she falls into Allie's open arms.

A few moments in the blonde's soft, loving embrace is all it takes for Bea to find the words again.

  
"I love it," she mumbles into the curve of Allie's neck. "I love _you_ ," she continues softly, pulling back a little in the circle of her arms.   
  
"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Allie Novak."

  
Allie tangles her fingertips around a section of red-brown curls before tucking it gently behind Bea's ear.

  
"I often wonder the same thing when I think of you," she says softly.

"I love you too."

  
Allie intends their kiss to be brief but Bea almost immediately parts her lips, her tongue gently swiping at the seam of Allie's, trying to convey just how much it all means to her as she pours everything into kissing the younger woman.   
The need for breath eventually pulls Allie away and she rests her forehead against Bea's, her warm, laboured breath tickling Bea's face.

  
"Jesus Bea," she moans, a low rumble in the pit of the redhead's stomach interrupting whatever she was about to say next.   
  
  
A soft giggle bubbles up through her body and escapes her perfect lips.

  
"I think it's time for dinner, don't you?"

  
Bea smiles bashfully. Dinner is the last thing on her mind right now, wanting instead to take advantage of the large bed and all this privacy without the possibility of interruptions looming over them. But she agrees anyway, still shy about communicating what she really wants.

  
"Well, seeing as it's getting late, do you want to just order some room service?"

  
"Okay," Bea agrees, wanting more than anything to just be alone with Allie in their room.

  
If they don't leave their hotel room for the rest of their time here, Bea thinks she wouldn't mind.   
There can't possibly be anything beyond these walls that is more enthralling, more captivating or more beautiful than the woman in her arms.

  
. . . . .

  
Their meals arrive a short time later as Bea is freshening up in the bathroom.   
As she re-enters the spacious room, she finds it empty and the previously drawn curtains on the far side of the room now open.   
Her curiosity draws her closer toward the open sliding door and she smiles at the sight laid out before her eyes, Allie bent over a small, contemporary table toward the corner of their own private balcony, pouring champagne into tall glasses.   
The large, rounded citronella candle on the centre of the table provides little light, the rest comes filtering through from their room.   
  
Allie smiles warmly as she catches a glance of Bea standing in the doorway, watching her with sparkling eyes filled with quiet contentment.  
Bea steps out onto the timber deck and Allie pulls her chair out for her, burying a gentle kiss into her hair before she slides into her own chair, scooping her champagne flute up in her long, delicate fingers.

  
"To us," Allie says softly as she holds her glass up ready to toast, her voice almost lost to the sound of the ocean churning nearby.  
  
"To being here together," she adds, quieter still, as her other hand finds Bea's on the tabletop, weaving their fingers within each other's.

  
"And to firsts," Bea murmurs.   
  
"May we have many more of them together," she adds, enjoying the way Allie's eyes instantly soften, the way her smile lights up her expression.

  
They waste little time eating their meals and heading back inside, the sting of the cold night air becoming too much against their bodies.   
When Allie suggests making use of the large bath in their even larger bathroom to warm them up, Bea feels a rush of heat move through her limbs.   
It does the trick, she feels instantly warmer at the mere thought of being close to Allie in the confines of the tub, but she finds herself agreeing anyway, however pink her cheeks grow at the idea of it.

Bea slips into the tub first while Allie busies herself with pouring them another glass of champagne in the next room, a task that the redhead suspects is purely to grant her some privacy.   
  
She knows how silly it is, particularly given all they've done together, but the thought of Allie seeing her naked in a non sexual context embarrasses her a little, particularly when her body is littered with scars.

  
It something that still floors Bea, the way they communicate without words, the way Allie knows what she needs with merely a look or a prolonged silence.   
Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined she'd have something like this, someone so perfectly wonderful in every way.   
She'd never imagined she could be so comfortable and open with another person so quickly. It makes her smile to think about it.

Bea sits comfortably immersed in the warm water, the thick blanket of bubbles providing just the right amount of coverage.  
It's not too long until Allie enters and Bea can't help but stare.   
She's wearing a simple white robe and her blonde hair is tied up in a messy bun, similar to the way Bea is wearing her own hair.  
Allie smiles warmly as she hands Bea her glass, taking a sip from her own before she sets it down against the edge of the bath and her grin turns notably more wicked.   
It makes Bea straighten her back in the tub and her heart begin to pound harder.

As the blonde sheds her robe without a trace of embarrassment, Bea feels herself swallow hard.   
She couldn't tame her eyes if she tried. She doesn't care to.   
She can feel her cheeks flushing as her eyes trace along Allie's milky skin, falling away only when she meets Allie's amused gaze as she settles down beside her.   
  
The tub is wide enough for both of them to fit comfortably beside one another with ample space remaining but depite this, Allie sits as close to Bea as possible.   
Like a magnet, her hand finds Bea's beneath the water.

  
"Is this OK?" Allie asks gently.

  
  
"Yeah," Bea utters, her eyes softening as Allie leans in and presses a warm kiss to her bare shoulder.

  
  
"Just now, when you were watching me," Allie begins, her voice low as she brushes her lips against Bea's ear.

  
"You looked so sexy."

  
The sensation of Allie's breath tickling her skin makes Bea reflexively bring her shoulder up to her ear, a silent, airy chuckle falling from her lips.   
Allie giggles sweetly, pulling back, reading Bea's timidness.   
She settles for resting her head against the redhead's shoulder instead, enjoying the closeness and the comfortable silence that befalls them.

  
"You're quiet," Allie remarks after a while.

  
  
"Am I?" Bea asks, not realising just how much she'd retreated into her own head until Allie's voice had broken her out of her contemplative daze.

  
  
"Mmm hmm," Allie hums, lifting her head from Bea's shoulder but not before she places another soft kiss against her skin.

  
"Everything OK?"

  
  
"Everything's good," Bea murmurs, coordinating her answer with a nod of her head.

  
"Just thinking."

  
  
"Anything you care to share?" Allie asks, turning her body in favour of Bea's direction.

  
  
"Just about how grateful I am for you," she says, earning a light laugh from the young blonde.

  
"Do you remember our first date?"

  
  
"Best night of my life, hands down," Allie replies with a nod and a bright smile, revelling in the older woman's bashful chuckle.

  
  
"Do you remember when we were sitting on that bench by the water? I said that no one has ever treated me as wonderfully as you do."

  
Allie's expression changes, softening, as though she's losing herself to the memory of that blissful time, a moment so perfect it begs to be relived in her mind.

  
"I wasn't exaggerating," Bea continues. "I meant it then and I mean it now. More than ever, now."

  
Allie brings a wet hand up to Bea's face, resting her palm against her strong jawline, gazing into her eyes like she can see into her lover's soul.

  
  
"Do you remember what I said to you that night? That I think you're amazing and you deserve to be treated wonderfully."

  
  
Bea grins a little, her eyes falling away shyly beneath the intensity of her girlfriend's glance.

  
"You didn't have to do this for me," she begins, knowing that Allie understands she's referring to the surprise weekend away.   
  
  
"You didn't have to drop everything to help me with Franky and Bridget tonight.   
Hell, you didn't have to do any of the things that you've done for me since we've met but you did them all anyway," she continues, feeling a lump begin to grow in the back of her throat.

  
"I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough," she utters gruffly but with a softness that makes Allie trace her thumb against her cheek.

  
  
"Babe, you don't need to thank me, not for any of it."

  
"No, I do," Bea says a little more firmly, wishing that Allie could fully understand the kind of cruelty she had been used to and the deep contrast of the kindness she's being given now.

  
"God Bea, you make it sound like you're a chore," she begins, grasping her girlfriend's fingers within her hands and bringing them to her chest.   
  
"Trust me beautiful, loving you is easy and such a pleasure. It brings me so much happiness. Whatever you want, whatever you need, if I can give it to you then I will... _happily_."

  
Bea's lips curl into a small, involuntary smile and she squeezes her girlfriend's hands, trying to convey her feelings through her touch.

  
"In case I haven't told you this enough, I feel so lucky to be with you.  
When Franky asked me for my number that night at the bar, I never thought in a million years that you'd text me. But when you did? Holy shit," she chuckles, letting her head roll back against the edge of the bath tub.  
  


"I was so happy, you have no idea."

  
Bea chuckles too, remembering the nerves and the worry and the way she approached it all with so much caution.   
She really has come a long way, she knows that now.   
She delights in that knowledge and it helps her to push her meekness aside.   
She gently shakes her hands free from Allie's, finding Allie's hips beneath the water before she pulls the younger woman into the space she creates for her between her open legs.   
Allie relaxes her back against Bea's chest and stomach instantly, enjoying the feeling of Bea's warm, wet arms that are wrapped around her tightly.

  
"You make _me_ happy, my sweet girl."

  
Allie cranes her neck to place a lingering kiss on Bea's cheek before she rests her head against Bea's shoulder again.

  
"To be totally honest babe, in the beginning it took every ounce of self restraint I had to take things slowly with you," she reveals, smiling to herself.

  
"When all I wanted to do was kiss the hell out of that adorable, shy little smirk of yours."

  
  
Bea giggles, a delighted, thoroughly amused giggle, fractured and husky but beautiful all the same.   
Allie angles her head again, her own expression lit with a bright smile, not wanting to miss this moment of pure happiness that she's managed to encourage.

  
"Well," Bea announces when her laughter finally dissipates.

  
"Nothing's holding you back now," she challenges.

  
Allie wastes no time at all surging forward and kissing Bea's lips in a way that still causes Bea's stomach to somersault beneath her skin.   
Even though they've kissed a million times now, for Bea each kiss is still very much exciting.

  
. . . . .

  
The mood is light between them as they lay on the bed side by side in their robes, their bodies still warm from the bath that they had left a while ago.  
There's a movie playing on their very large flat screen TV and various packets of snacks scattered between them that Allie had claimed were taunting her from their mini bar, saying she had heard them calling out to her and they were simply begging to be eaten.

  
"Hey," Allie grins as she swallows down a mouthful of M&Ms.   
  
  
"Remember when we used to go to the gym?"

  
Bea smiles, giving a little nod. "Seems like so long ago now."

  
  
"Do ya think you'll go back?"

  
  
"I'm happy not to go. Franky roped me into it then the little shit stopped going."

  
  
Allie laughs at the petulant frown that creases Bea's brows.

  
"What about you?" Bea asks as she pops a crisp into her mouth, her expression softening at the sound of Allie's laughter and the sight of Allie so amused.

  
"Nah, I don't care if I never go again, I've got far better things to occupy myself with," Allie smirks triumphantly as she leans over and places a brief kiss to Bea's lips, leaning in a second time for another kiss when she finds Bea's mouth salty from the remnants of her snack.

  
  
"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the gym, it's where we found each other," she smiles a little sheepishly.   
  
  
"But it's probably best that we don't go anymore. Just the thought of you in tight clothes, covered in sweat and lifting weights like a boss does things to me," Allie says, letting her eyelids fall over her eyes for a brief moment, truly indulging in whatever vision she witnesses behind them.

  
Even though Bea laughs a little, she feels a wave of warmth grace her insides.

  
"You're one to talk. That was quite a little show you put on for me that morning in the cardio room."

  
Bea recalls the time Allie had tried to tempt her, stretching her body into alluring shapes to get her attention.

  
Allie grins in that devilish way that Bea simply adores. "Oh you liked that, did ya?"

  
  
"Can't remember," Bea shrugs nonchalantly, trying to hide her playful smile by pressing her lips firmly together.

  
  
"Do you need me to remind you, Bea?"

  
  
As Allie rolls onto her side, glancing at Bea as though her self restraint is being tested, her voice low with innuendo, the redhead feels her stomach tumble.   
There's no part of her that can deny whatever it is that Allie has in mind, she'd be insane to do so.   
No one has ever looked at her the way her girlfriend is looking at her now, as though she may combust if she doesn't touch her.

  
"Please," Bea whispers.

  
Allie moves slowly, pushing herself up onto her knees, collecting the bags of half eaten snacks in one hand.   
With a flash of her devious smirk, she leans across Bea's body, discarding the food onto the bedside table.   
  
Bea wants to chuckle or say something witty but with Allie's body hovering above hers, her scantily covered backside right there in front of her, Bea can do nothing else but give into arousal.   
  
She reaches for the remote control and switches off the TV, eager to give the blonde all of her attention.   
Allie shifts a little, positioning herself slowly over Bea, dragging her robe up her thighs just enough to allow her to move more freely.   
  
Bea is transfixed by the sight of all of that smooth, lightly sunkissed skin and the warmth of her body against her own.   
  
Allie drapes her arms around Bea's shoulders and as she slides her hands around Allie's waist, the redhead finally manages to drag her gaze up, meeting her girlfriend's oceanic eyes.  
It doesn't take much for Bea to realise what Allie wants, what she's thinking, the pure lust and heat in her gaze is enough to make Bea's heart pound quickly and loudly in her ears.   
  
Despite how many times they've done this, Bea still feels a little flicker of apprehension, fragments of shyness that she finds herself wishing away.   
As Allie's glance darts eagerly across her face, she knows she's reading her, concentrating on the way she holds her breath in her chest and suddenly, Allie's features soften as though she's putting the game and the intensity aside.

  
"Kiss me, please," Allie whispers, her eyes locked on Bea's lips like her thoughts are consumed with kissing them.

  
Bea's body is suddenly warm all over, the base of her abdomen begins to ache.   
She leans into Allie's waiting lips and after a few brief but delicate touches, she opens her mouth and Allie's warm, wet tongue slips inside, sending a pleasant shiver down Bea's spine.   
She could spend hours like this, getting lost in the softness and gentility of Allie's mouth, of Allie's touch, of everything Allie.

Before Bea is even aware of it, the young blonde pulls back ever so slightly, resting her forehead against Bea's as she brings her gentle hands down to rest at the front of Bea's shoulders, her thumbs tracing shapes against the fabric of her robe.

  
"I love kissing you," Allie smiles, her face awash with love and affection.   
  
"It's one of my favourite things."

  
  
"Really?" Bea asks in a whisper against Allie's lips, unable to stop herself from kissing Allie again.

  
  
"Really," Allie whispers in reply. "I have a lot of favourite things when it comes to you, though."

  
  
"Yeah? Like what?"

  
Allie smiles warmly before placing another gentle kiss against Bea's lips.

  
"Touching you, seeing you smile, hearing you laugh, the sound of your sexy, husky voice," she moans, punctuating every one of her favourite things with a kiss.

  
Bea begins to blush, unused to so much attention.

  
"That," Allie giggles in that sweet, gentle way that Bea has grown to love.   
  
"Making you blush, it's so damn cute Bea, you have no idea."

  
Her face changes a little now and Bea feels a little tingle just south of her stomach, knowing that Allie is about to say something to encourage that reaction.

  
"But I think my ultimate favourite thing? Is watching you come."

  
  
Bea's heart suddenly pounds harder, sending a flood of warmth through her body.   
Her throat is dry with little warning.  
  


"Allie," she whispers pleadingly, her husky tones cracking beneath the arousal that fills her.

  
Allie doesn't speak, she simply waits, smiling in the smallest way.

Bea opens her mouth to speak but her mind is clouded with want and she can't formulate a single word so she leans back in, kissing Allie with every ounce of passion within her.   
Allie moans against her mouth, collecting fistfuls of Bea's robe within her hands.  
Bea's own hands begin to move a little restlessly over Allie's body as each kiss merges into the next.   
At some point, they begin to move slowly against each other and after what feels like hours of slow, sensual kisses that eventually build into firm, restless ones, Bea's skin feels aflame.   
As she turns her head to draw in a deep breath, Allie moves her mouth to her neck, knowing exactly where to brush her lips to coax a moan from the older woman.   
It's louder than Bea had expected it to be but her embarrassment is shortlived as Allie slips a warm gentle hand inside her robe and Bea just about melts into her touch.

The resistance Bea had felt earlier seems to be forgotten and she begins to unravel the sash on her own robe with shaky, impatient hands.   
Allie draws back to watch as Bea slips the garment from her shoulders, letting it fall down her arms and off her fingertips.   
She lets Allie stare, enjoying the way her mouth opens, the way her blue eyes take in every single millimeter of bare skin, the way her breath is hard and heavy now and the way she bites her bottom lip as her glance lingers on Bea's breasts.

  
"God, you're perfect," Allie utters beneath her breath before she surges forward and kisses Bea again and again.

  
Bea is already shaking a little, a phenomenon that only intensifies when Allie moves her hands between their bodies and sheds herself of her own robe.

They spend more time kissing and moving their eager hands over each other's bare skin and just when Bea thinks she could pass out because she's just so light headed from anticipation, she feels Allie gently guiding her back against the pillows and mattress beneath.

Allie's mouth traces hot breath and loving kisses down Bea's neck and chest as she gently palms Bea's breasts.   
She dips her head and her mouth replaces her right hand, her tongue rolling a firm circle around Bea's hardened nipple before she eagerly moves across to repeat her action on Bea's left breast.   
Bea can't help but squirm, throwing her head back against the pillow as her stomach quivers beneath the light brush of Allie's fingertips.

  
"I wanna try something," Allie whispers coarsely, pulling back to read Bea's features.

  
"If you're OK with it."

  
Bea's stomach is a tangle of warmth and desire and she can feel the pounding between her legs.   
She doesn't know what Allie has in mind and the old Bea Smith would have found that idea daunting, but this Bea, who is both loved and loving, knows that she's safe here in the arms of her beautiful girlfriend.

Bea nods soundly, her chest heaving with her steadily quickening breath.

  
"I trust you, my love," she whispers, reaching up to cradle Allie's perfect face in her palm, enjoying Allie's soft, assuring smile.

  
Bea isn't sure how it's all possible, the mechanics of Allie's position completely alluding her unschooled mind, but as Allie positions herself between Bea's open legs and presses her palms against the mattress on either side of Bea's body, holding herself up with straight arms, Bea's curiosity for understanding is lost to the feeling of Allie's warm, wet core against her own.   
They gasp together before Allie arches her neck to place a gentle kiss to Bea's lips.

  
"If this is too intense for you, we can stop, OK?"

  
Bea nods again, her expression a wonderful mix of shyness and heavy arousal, unable to stop her quizzicle eyes from glancing between their bodies.   
She's not entirely certain what Allie means, but she can't help but feel a flicker of excitement about finding out.

As Allie begins to slowly roll her hips against Bea, the redhead's eyelids flutter shut, completely giving herself over to pleasure, a heavy sigh leaving her open mouth.

  
"How does it feel?" Allie whispers with heavy breath.

  
Bea opens her eyes and suddenly she understands what Allie was referring to.   
Allie's eyes are soft and adoring and locked onto Bea's, watching her every reaction.   
But Bea understands that Allie wants to see it all, she wants to watch her lose herself to ecstacy.   
  
Allie oozes sensuality as she moves rhythmically and that very action alone is enough to make Bea twitch down below.

  
"Good," she manages to reply, licking her lips. "So good."

  
Allie smiles before she bends down and kisses Bea lazily, making it obvious to the redhead that her focus is on maintaining the steady rhythm of her movements.   
As she pulls back, Bea can't tame her eyes as they trace curiously over Allie's face and body.   
She watches the way her breasts move with each gentle thrust and for a moment, she thinks she should be embarrassed.   
The way they're making love to one another is something entirely new, something deeper and more meaningful than Bea could ever fathom yet incredibly hot and sexy at the same time.   
  
And just like that, Bea's usual shy introversion is erased by her deep and all-consuming desire.

  
"Are you alright?" Allie moans out with a quiver in her soft voice.

  
"God yes, I love this," Bea groans, sliding her palms down Allie's sides, across her back and then cupping her backside, gently pulling Allie against her more firmly as she helps guide her movements.

  
"Yes, keep doing that," Allie sobs, her arms too shaky to hold her weight anymore as she lowers down onto her elbows, her stomach and breasts now flush with Bea's.

  
"Oh God Bea," Allie sighs against the skin of Bea's neck.

  
The buildup is slow, much slower than anything they've experienced together yet, but the way they share it together is wonderful.  
The sounds their bodies make as Allie's core rubs against Bea's, the feeling of Allie's body and breath over her, it fills Bea's stomach with a pleasantly burning fire.   
As Allie gradually grinds into Bea faster and more firmly, Bea's breath becomes quicker and substantially more laboured as she nears release.

  
"Allie," she murmurs with desperation in her strained voice, tightening her grip around Allie's ass.

  
The blonde lifts her head from Bea's shoulder, her cheeks beautifully flushed and a light sheen of sweat glistens across her forehead and chest.   
Bea doesn't need to say anything else, the way her moans are reaching a perfect crescendo tells Allie everything she needs to know.   
  
With her blue eyes locked onto Bea's, she manages to work one of her hands between their bodies and she cups Bea's breast, running her thumb across Bea's nipple and it's all it takes for Bea to come hard and loud.   
Allie's eyes stay on her face the entire time, her mouth hanging open, her features thick with arousal.   
It only takes a few seconds and a couple more firm rolls of her hips and Allie comes too, letting out loud, perfect, pleading moans and Bea could almost come again as she watches and listens and feels.  
  


After they've ridden out the last waves of pleasure, Allie collapses against Bea's body, both of them completely spent and panting heavily.

Bea wants to weep, to thank Allie for showing her such love and gentility, she wants to say something profound to match the intimacy of the moment but as she tightens her arms around Allie's slender body, feeling Allie return her embrace, it's the perfect gesture.

Eventually, when their heart beats return to their normal rhythms, Allie settles beside Bea and Bea turns to face her after she pulls the soft sheets up to cover their bodies.   
She presses a soft kiss to Allie's lips before she settles deeply into their embrace, closing her eyes as she feels the heavy pull of exhaustion overcoming her.

  
"I love you, Bea Smith," Allie drawls in a whisper.

  
Bea smiles, unable to stop herself from placing another kiss against Allie's lips.

  
"I love you too, Allie Novak."  
  
  
-  
  
  


 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie continue to enjoy their weekend away together.
> 
> ***Chapter warning, NSFW***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeyyy Ballie lovers!
> 
> I know it's not Wednesday but I've just put the finishing touches on Chapter 25 and thought I'd share it with you all anyway :)  
> I'm late posting this one because it's a looooong chapter!
> 
> Sorry to be the bearer of bad news guys, but there's only one more chapter to go :(
> 
> Let's ignore that little nugget for now and enjoy the love-fest that is Chapter 25 :)
> 
> XOXO

  
Bea is the first to wake, the sounds of the ocean breaking on a nearby shoreline and soft glimmers of the early morning sun overcoming her senses.  
She opens her eyes to find Allie still sleeping soundly, still laying in the exact position where she fell asleep the night before, her head on Bea's pillow, her arm draped over Bea's waist.  
Bea smiles, amused by the notion that a king sized bed is completely wasted on them.  
They could be laying in a single bed and still be comfortable, Bea thinks.  
  
She needs to use the bathroom and the sounds of the ocean so close by are piquing her curiosity but as she drags her eyes along Allies angelic features and the parts of her body not obscured by the sheets, everything else can wait.  
  
Bea still can't believe the way her life is mapping out.  
A part of her wishes she could go back to her lowest points when she thought she was stuck with no way out of her situation, when she though she would die a premature death at the hands of the man who claimed to love her.  
If she was capable of it, she'd assure herself that even though things seemed bleak and hopeless, they would eventually become this, this slice of perfection that her imagination could never have the insight to design.  
She can't help but tear up a little as she thinks of Allie.  
Sweet, kind, thoughtful, perfect Allie.  
She ponders whereabouts in the universe her wonderful girlfriend has been all of her life and marvels that they've managed to find their way to one another now.

  
"You're staring Bea," Allie mumbles, her soft voice coarse from overuse the night before.

  
"Sorry," Bea says softly, smiling as she thinks that she's not even the slightest bit sorry.  
  
"Can't help it."

  
  
"The beach is right outside the door," Allie reminds her, still unmoving, her eyes still closed.

  
  
"And I'm sure it's a beautiful view, but I've found something far more stunning to look at."

  
A huge smile breaks across Allie's lips as she opens her eyes and Bea feels her heart leap in her chest as she's greeted by crystal blue.

  
"My little smooth talker," Allie remarks as she snuggles into Bea's chest and Bea rolls onto her back, wrapping her arms around Allie, pulling her on top.  
Allie happily obliges, making herself comfortable against her girlfriend's body.

  
"I'm learning from the best."

  
Bea feels Allie vibrate with laughter, unable to leave the moment without pressing a kiss against Bea's chest.

  
"I assume you mean me, not Franky."

  
  
"Yes you," Bea giggles.

  
  
"I wonder how things went for her and Bridget last night."

  
  
"They belong together," Bea utters hoarsely after a moments thought, letting her fingers trace softly up and down Allies naked back.

"I have no doubt they got back together."

  
In the comfortable silence, Bea's mind traces back to last night.  
She enjoys the way her stomach jumps at the memory of what they shared, of Allie's touch, of the way Allie looked and how she looked at Bea.

  
  
"Bea," she says softly, lifting her head to glance sweetly at the older woman.

"Last night, it was so ..." she begins, looking totally overcome.

  
  
"I know," Bea utters quietly when Allie isn't able to continue.  
  
  
The younger woman's face is awash with love and affection and Bea couldn't tear her eyes away even if she wanted to.

  
"Thank you for being open to trying that with me."

  
  
"Thank _you_ ," Bea whispers, dragging soft fingertips across Allie's cheek, enjoying the soft warm skin beneath her touch.  
  
"You're always so gentle with me, you always ask for permission before we do anything."  
  
  
She swallows away the emotions that threaten to work their way up the back of her throat.  
  
  
"I appreciate it. It means a lot to me."

  
In an instant, Allie leans in, tracing her lips gently over Bea's.  
When they part, Allie simply gazes at her like she's the most precious, perfect thing in the entire universe.

  
"That's the way it should be, beautiful. That's the way it will always be between us."

  
Bea's heart is suddenly heavy in her chest, so full of love and warmth that she doesn't know how to respond right away.  
She wants to say something but one glance into Allie's cool blue eyes and she's speechless.

  
"I hope you know," Allie begins, tracing soft fingertips across Bea's forehead before tucking a section of soft curly hair behind her ear.  
  
"I'm so incredibly proud of you."

  
"Why?"

  
"Because you're so brave. If I'd gone through even half of what you have, I don't think I could trust anyone again, let alone allow anyone to get close to me.  
I want you to know that it means a lot to me. Being able to wake up with you, to get to touch you, to see your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths, to be the reason you smile...To be the _one_ person who gets to be this close to you...I want you to know that I realise how lucky I am."

  
Bea's eyes begin to fill with tears as she gazes into Allie's, knowing that she means every word, sensing that it's something Allie has been meaning to say for some time.

  
"You're wonderful, Allie," she whispers, tightening her arms around Allie's body as her girlfriend settles against her chest.  
  
"I wish I could tell you how much I love you."

  
She hears Allie giggle lightly before she presses her lips against Bea's chest.

  
"I'd ask you to show me, but we've got a big day ahead of us. Can't stay in bed making love all day."

  
Bea's stomach jumps at the idea, pangs of disappointment soon following at the notion of having to leave their bed.

  
"Five more minutes? Please? I just want to feel you like this for a little while longer."

  
Allie lifts her head, rewarding Bea with a smile so big and bright it causes Bea's heart to skip a beat.  
  
All that beauty, internal and external, and it's all Bea's to admire.

  
"You can have anything you want, beautiful."

  
. . . . .

  
They got out of bed a while later and showered together, through some miracle of uncharacteristic self restraint, they had each kept their hands to themselves.

Bea wanders back into their room, still wearing her towel, leaving Allie to get ready in the bathroom as she searches through her overnight bag to see what Allie had packed for her to wear.

  
"Allie?" Bea calls, her hands furiously rummaging through her bag.

  
"Mmm?" Allie hums from the bathroom.

  
"I can't find any underwear in my bag."

  
Allie enters the room, wearing only jeans and a white bra, suppressing a smile with pursed lips.

  
"Oh no," she utters innocently, watching as Bea tosses the bag to the floor and throws her hands on her towel-clad hips with a perplexed frown.

  
"You did pack some for me, didn't you?" Bea asks, suddenly suspicious.

  
"Hmm let me think," she tries her hardest not to smile, making a show of deliberating her answer.

  
"Nah, I didn't."

  
"Allie!" Bea chastises, more than a little scandalised.

  
"What?" Allie giggles.

  
"Did you do that on purpose?"

  
"Yeah I did," Allie shrugs unapologetically.

  
"But-" Bea begins a little hopelessly.

  
"You don't need any underwear Bea, not this weekend."

  
"Yes I do, it's..." she sighs, fumbling over an explanation.

  
"It's what?"

  
"Rude," Bea murmurs a little shyly, her cheeks flushing at the mere idea of it all.

  
"It's not rude babe, it's hot," Allie smirks.

  
Bea wants to feel more cross about it all, but as she observes Allie's cheeky, self satisfied smile, she can't help but smile herself.  
She chews the inside of her mouth to lessen her grin, shaking her head in disbelief.

  
"Besides," the blonde utters, crossing the distance between them to slide her hands across Bea's hips and over her backside.

"Knowing you're walking around with nothing on underneath your pants, Jesus Bea it makes me hot just thinking about it."

  
Bea feels her stomach jump at the innuendo and the idea that something so simple has that kind of effect on Allie.  
It liberates her and just like that, she decides to have a little fun of her own.

She works her hand between their bodies, her palm against Allie's stomach as her fingertips dip beneath the denim waistband.  
Allie gasps, her face suddenly thick with a kind of aroused disbelief as she swallows hard.

  
"Alright, I'll play your little game," Bea husks, leaning into Allie's ear as her fingers find the fabric she knew would be there.

"But you have to play too."

  
Allie throws her head back as she groans, mourning the loss of Bea's touch as she removes her hand from inside Allie's pants.

  
"You want me to take my underwear off? Seriously?"

  
"Uh huh." Bea grins, knowing from the pink blush working it's way across Allie's chest that she's turned on.

  
"Shit," Allie groans.  
  
"I think my clever little plan is backfiring," she utters, looking dazed as she makes her way back into the bathroom to comply, leaving Bea to chuckle to herself.

  
. . . . .

  
They leave the comfort of their hotel room a short while later, Bea feeling better about her underpants-less predicament now that she's not alone in it.  
They'd been walking hand in hand for around 10 mins when they reached a pier with a large boat at the end of the pontoon.

Bea looks across to her girlfriend with a curious smile, watching as Allie's eyebrows tweak beneath her dark sunglasses.  
  
  
"You don't get seasick, do ya?" she utters as she tugs on Beas hand, drawing her closer to place a brief kiss on her cheek, revealing that she had booked them in on a whale watch cruise.

  
"I don't know," Bea shrugs. "Ive never been on a boat before."

  
From the way Allie responds, the brief flash of a sad smile and the gentle squeeze of her hand, Bea knows her girlfriend is saddened by her admission, silently cursing the man who never cared enough to show the redhead the finer things in life.  
  
But for Bea, it's just another first that they are sharing together and she couldn't be happier about it.

They huddle together towards the back of the boat, away from the small group of tourists and sightseers, sipping champagne while they bathe in the mid morning sunshine and enjoy the gentle movements of the boat as it moves through the water.  
Despite the warmth of the suns rays, the ocean breeze is chilly and when Bea notices Allie shiver, she can't help but pull the blonde against her body and wrap her arms around her.

It's so simple and natural, the most ordinary of gestures but it's just so _nice_.  
Bea is beginning to see the appeal of it all, why people do this.  
  
At any point during her life before Allie, If anybody had told her she'd be sipping champagne on a boat at 10am on a Sunday wrapped in the arms of a beautiful woman who loves her, Bea would have laughed at them.  
She wishes she could show Allie how much it all means to her but she knows her own weaknesses and any attempt at self restraint in the context of her girlfriend is definitely a weakness. She settles for a brief kiss and decides to save the rest for later.

After their cruise, they enjoy lunch at a nearby cafe before wandering around the local shopping centre in search of something to wear on the dinner date that Allie has arranged for later in the evening.  
Much to Allie's disappointment, Bea insists they use their own separate dressing rooms to try on outfits, knowing that one glance at Allie's perfectly toned body and she's likely to lose the self control that she's barely clinging to.

It's something that Bea still marvels at, the complete change in her libido. The avoidance of the former and the almost constant craving she has for intimacy now.  
Just thinking of their brief encounter from this morning, seeing the way Allie reacted to her playful, assertive side gave Bea a gentle flutter in her stomach but as the day progresses and with every little touch and longing sideways glance her girlfriend gifts her with, she can feel it building into that familiar dull ache low in her abdomen.

Not too long later, when they're laying silently on massage tables, enjoying the pamper package Allie had booked them in for at a nearby day spa, that feeling of arousal only builds.  
Allie releases soft sighs as the masseuse gently works the front of her shoulders.  
Bea wants to look over and cast a questioning glance her way, but her own masseuse is vigorously rubbing her neck muscles.  
She was apprehensive at first, uncertain how she would handle a stranger's touch as she lays with only a towel draped over her body, but with Allie laying on the table beside her, Bea feels at ease.

  
"How is it babe?" Allie asks softly.

  
"Mmm," Bea hums, allowing herself to fully indulge in just how enjoyable it is as her eyelids fall over her eyes.

  
"It's perfect. Just like you."

  
. . . . .

  
  
It's late afternoon when they decide to use the hotel's pool .  
It's large and surrounded by trees and shrubs, making it virtually private, something that Bea is exceedingly relieved about.  
Wearing swimmers in public makes Bea uncomfortable, but Allie always seems to be mindful of these things and had packed a one piece for Bea to wear while she opted for a two piece bikini for herself.  
It's as blue as her eyes and barely there, and just another thing that sets Bea's heart rate into overdrive.

She keeps to the side, her back up against the wall of the pool as she watches Allie move through the water gracefully, gliding ever closer towards her.

  
"Well hi there, smiley," Allie utters smoothly, her arms automatically draping over Bea's shoulders as the redhead returns her gentle embrace, sliding her hands across Allie's waist.

  
It's another first, an entirely new sensation, feeling Allie's warm, slick skin in the cool water around them.  
Bea finds herself swallowing hard, trying not to be overcome by her ever present arousal.

  
"What are you doing all the way over here?"

  
"Watching you," Bea admits, her stomach aflutter over Allie's lowered voice.

  
"Oh yeah?" she murmurs, pressing her warm lips lightly against Bea's cheek.

  
"How's the view?"

  
Bea feels her eyes soften and her heart rate quicken as Allie wraps her long legs around her waist.

  
"Breath taking."

  
Allie smiles a tiny, brief smile and Bea knows she's becoming equally incapacitated by her own arousal.  
In a heartbeat, Allie leans in closer, her mouth automatically falling open to meet Bea's in a passionate kiss as she draws the redhead in closer in the square she creates with her arms.

  
"You know, this pool is pretty secluded," Allie begins, her voice low and full of innuendo, her gentle lips finding the soft skin on Bea's jawline.

"We're all alone."

  
Bea inhales deeply, trying to control her rapid breathing.

  
"Allie," she sighs a little helplessly. "We can't."

  
"Can't what, Bea?" She breathes into the redhead's ear, brushing her lips against her lobe before she draws it gently between her teeth.

  
Bea tries to ignore the pulse between her thighs, becoming more prominent with every touch of her girlfriend's lips.

  
"You know what," she giggles lightly, the sound likened to a sigh.

  
Allie looks thoroughly mischevious and Bea thinks she could fall just that little bit more in love with the blonde merely from the look she's giving her.

  
"I haven't got a single clue what you're talking about babe," she teases, tightening her legs around Bea's waist.  
  
"You might have to spell it out for me."

  
Bea shakes her head, supressing a giggle, nibbling the inside of her mouth to minimise her grin.

  
"We can't have... _you know what_... in the pool, someone might walk in on us."

  
"Walk in on us doing what, babe?" Allie whispers seductively as she moves a gentle hand down beneath the water, her fingertips skimming along Bea's ribs and waist.

  
Bea pushes her inhibititions to the side and meets Allie's glance, eager to give the younger woman what she obviously needs to hear.

  
"Having sex," she moans in her trademark gravelly tone.

  
  
"Bea Smith!" Allie exclaims delightedly, not at all as offended by it all as she pretends to be.

  
"I had no intentions of such a thing. Especially since we're going out to dinner soon."

  
  
"Can you give me a hint where we're going?" Bea asks with an almost youthful hopefullness in her smile.

  
  
"You'll have to wait and see," she replies sweetly, her features brimming with affection as she seemingly leaves all of her lustful playfulness aside, tucking a stray curl behind Bea's ear with wet fingertips.

  
"Have I told you today how much I love you?" Bea murmurs, tightening her arms around Allie as she begins to move slowly through the water, enjoying the closeness of their bodies, stealing a lingering kiss from her girlfriend's lips.

  
"Several times," Allie muses. "But I'll never get sick of hearing it."

  
. . . . .

  
The taxi arrives promptly, getting them to the Japanese restaurant on time for their dinner reservation.  
Bea grips Allie's hand beneath the communal table, slightly nervous about what's to follow, having never dined at a Teppanyaki restaurant before.  
Allie simply squeezes her hand in reassurance and casts a knowing gaze at her and just like that, Bea feels better about it all.

It's not too long before Bea's apprehensions are forgotten, lost somewhere between the Sake that warms her throat as she swallows it down with a groan and the banter of the light hearted atmosphere.  
  
Bea and Allie manage to catch the food the chef flicks at them and by the time they've finished their four course meal and consumed more Sake and Umeshu than Bea cares to tally, she's ready to get back to the hotel room and make their last night a memorable one.

It's been on her mind all day, although she hasn't allowed herself to fully indulge in thoughts of it, but as they sit in the back seat of the taxi on the short drive back to the hotel, Bea can't seem to tame her hand, her fingertips brushing the inside of Allie's thigh.

Allie swiftly meets her glance, a tiny smirk pulling at the corner of her lips as she places her hand over Bea's, gently stopping it from moving any higher up her thigh.

  
"Do you want it as much as I do?" She whispers, the light touch of her lips grazing Bea's ear sending a shiver down the redhead's spine.

  
  
"Maybe even more," Bea husks, unable to stop herself from kissing Allie's jawline.

  
The blonde gasps quietly in reply, her face suddenly painted with a kind of disbelief, beautifully mixed with lust.

  
"Just a little longer," Allie murmurs.  
  
"Then you can have whatever you want, babe."

  
It's a torturous wait, even though it's a relatively short car ride and Bea takes comfort in the fact that Allie seems to be suffering from her own desires just as badly as she is.  
The blonde shifts in her seat, crossing her legs and fidgeting like an impatient child.  
When they finally arrive at their hotel, the car barely has a chance to come to a complete stop before Bea pays the fare and tugs at Allie's hand, earning a sweet, amused giggle from her girlfriend.

Bea manages to control herself until they reach the door to their room and as Allie fumbles with the key, she positions herself behind Allie, pressing her front into the younger woman's back before she finally lets her hands wander.  
She slides an eager hand across Allie's hip and over her stomach, pushing her blonde hair away from the curve of her neck with her other hand before her lips find the warm, tender skin there.  
The very moment that Bea's warm, wet mouth begins tracing across her skin, Allie rolls her head, resting it heavily against the older woman's shoulder, allowing her better access, preparing herself for more of Bea's gentle but avid touch.

  
"God Bea," Allie gasps, abandoning the door to spin weakly in her girlfriend's embrace, kissing Bea in a way that causes her stomach to flip and fill her every limb with a welcome warmth.

Bea takes over where Allie left off, managing to open the door and in one graceful movement, she turns and pins Allie against the hard timber, closing it with the weight of their bodies, their mouths never parting for a moment.  
Bea presses her hips into Allie's as they continue to make out almost desperately, the fact that they managed to control themselves for the entire day proving to be a notion that Bea has difficulty fathoming.  
Allie's hands move down to her backside and she digs her fingertips in a little as she pulls Bea more firmly against her.

  
"I've wanted you like this all God damn day," Allie pants between kisses.

  
"I know, me too" Bea moans, placing lazy, lingering kisses along Allie's jawline until her lips are on her earlobe.  
  
  
A beautiful, surprised gasp catches in the blonde's throat as Bea's tongue swipes across her ear at the same time she releases a long, slow breath.

  
"Ever since you told me to take off my underwear," Allie manages to whisper, her breath already laboured and harsh as she shrugs her black blazer off and lets it fall to the floor.

  
"Did you like that?" Bea groans, pulling her leather jacket off quickly before working her fingers beneath the hem of Allie's button up singlet, trailing them across her flat stomach, smiling against her mouth as she feels Allie arch her body, chasing more of her touch.

  
"I _loved_ it. I've never seen you so assertive before, it was hot."

  
Bea pulls away a little, trying to regain some control over her breath and she sees a glint in Allie's eye that seems completely new.  
She looks almost entirely overwhelmed, as though the mere idea of Bea in a dominant context thoroughly excites her.

Just that look alone and the fact that Allie's body is trembling beneath her keen hands is all the motivation Bea needs to totally neglect whatever remnants of shy hesitation that may have been lingering within her.

  
" _You're_ hot," she breathes heavily against Allie's lips before she drives her tongue into her mouth, enjoying Allie's helpless moan.

"Do you know what you do to me?"

  
No sooner the words leave her mouth, Allie works a hand between their bodies, trying determinedly to drag down the zipper on Bea's pants.

  
"Let me feel what I do to you."

  
It's almost enough to make Bea's composure crumble, but seeing Allie so affected by her authoritative side makes Bea want to explore it.  
As much as she wants Allie's touch and a reprieve from all of her pent up sexual yearning, she needs this more.

  
"Uh uh," Bea utters, sliding her hand down to cover Allie's and guide it back onto the more safer territory of her waist.

"Tonight is about you."

  
Allie couldn't appear any more surprised and perplexed by the notion, but as Bea peels her body from the door, easily picking her up and off the ground, she grasps Bea's shoulders as she works herself higher and winds her legs around Bea's waist, her features suddenly thick with a deep, all consuming arousal.

  
"Oh my God Bea, do you even realise how unbelievably sexy you are?"

  
Bea knows it's a rhetorical question so she doesn't bother distracting her mind with trying to formulate an answer.  
She simply makes her way to the bed, enjoying the way Allie's breath leaves her lungs sharply as her back hits the mattress.

She takes her time unbuttoning Allie's top, relishing in the look of total hunger that she gifts her with.

  
"You're really not going to let me touch you?" Allie challenges her with a quirked eyebrow.

  
  
"You'll get your turn," Bea grins, bending down to kiss the perfect crimson flush across her girlfriend's chest.

"But not tonight."

  
Allie's perfect blue eyes stay fixed on Bea as she peels her top away from her partner's body and when she slowly slips her bra off, Bea can't help but recall the first time she saw Allie's flawless breasts.  
She lays her body flush with Allie's, her mouth tracing shapes and skimmng across her chest as Allie begins to writhe beneath her.

  
"I have a confession to make," Bea begins, gazing up at Allie as she teasingly traces her tongue around the circle of an areola.  
  
Allie simply gasps, unable to respond with words.

  
"That day at the gym when we were in the sauna together-"

  
"God, I haven't forgotten about that," Allie grins.  
  
"I could have eaten you up right then and there. You looked so sexy, just like you do now."

  
Bea's heart skips a beat and Allie's words seem to work their way straight between the apex of her thighs, but she manages to persevere.

  
"When I left, I got a few steps up the hallway before I realised we hadn't set a time for our date, so I came back," Bea explains in her coarse, husky voice, her breath hard and wet against Allie's skin.

  
"That's when I saw you... _topless_."

  
  
"You saw that?" Allie asks devilishly, not at all phased by what Bea witnessed so early on in their relationship.

  
"Yeah, I had to go and have a cold shower," she murmurs, flicking her tongue against Allie's erect nipple before gently taking it in her mouth.

  
  
"Yeah?" Allie manages through shaky breaths. "Did it turn you on to see me like that, Bea?"

  
  
"God yes," Bea drawls, not at all nervous about voicing what's running through her mind.

  
"I couldn't get the sight of you out of my head."

  
  
"What did you do about it, sexy?" Allie asks wickedly, seeming to know where the conversation is going, letting her hands glide over Bea's back and ass.

  
"I thought about touching myself," Bea begins and she's met with a delighted and disbelieving gasp.  
  
It fills her with confidence, it makes her want to say more to earn more of the same reaction.

  
"I started to, but I was so wet it kinda took me by surprise."

  
  
"Holy shit," Allie sighs, tightening her legs around Bea.

  
  
"I'd never been so turned on before."

  
  
Allie moves shaky hands between them, desperately trying to unzip her own jeans, making her growing impatience obvious to Bea and it only spurs the redhead on more.

  
"I've been wet for you ever since Allie," Bea breathes against warm skin.

  
Allie grips the back of Bea's neck and kisses her with an urgency that Bea has never experienced before.  
She can feel herself growing slicker and more turned on with every touch and every kiss .  
The way that Allie is panting and shaking beneath her is almost enough to make her lose her cool.

  
"Please Bea," Allie moans against her lips.

  
"I'm gonna lose my mind if you don't touch me soon."

  
She helps Allie remove her jeans and it's then when she sits on her heels between Allie's long legs that she sees exactly what it's all doing to her.  
Allie is so sensitive that when Bea lightly and experimentally swirls her index finger over her clit, a jolt runs through her body as she releases a shaky gasp.

Bea wastes no time moving down her body, using her mouth and tongue to work her up to the point of thigh shaking pleasure as slowly as she possibly can.  
Before too long, Allie buries her fingers in Bea's hair and the way she moans loudly and pants heavily as she climaxes almost makes Bea come too.

When Bea climbs back onto the bed and lays beside Allie, she looks groggy and satisfied.  
Despite this, Bea can't seem to stop herself from wanting to have her again, a weighted desire to bring the beautiful blonde back to the precipice of ecstasy far outweighing her own need to be touched.

  
"Again?" Allie asks, a wonderful air of astonishment in her now coarse voice as Bea begins to kiss her way down her stomach and across her hips.

  
  
"Again," Bea confirms between kisses as she rids herself of her shirt and Allie gazes hungrily at her bra clad cleavage.

"And after you come, I'm going to make you come again and again."

  
. . . . . 

  
It was roughly 1am when Bea and Allie finally slept, the older woman had kept her promise to her girlfriend, bringing her to orgasm several times before the fire inside of her had dimmed, although it didn't totally extinguish.  
Bea smiled to herself on the verge of sleep as she thought that fire may never extinguish and she'd be perfectly happy with that.

  
Bea wakes from a deep sleep to the feeling of pressure over her body and something warm and wet against her chest.  
As she peels her eyelids open, her awareness of things coming to her in stages, she notices that the room is dark.  
She looks across to the clock on the bedside table and lets out a little gasp when she sees the time.  
4:50am.  
Her ears hear a soft suckling sound at the same time her body feels the tickle of a gentle touch over her sides and ribs.  
Bea looks down to see Allie laying on her stomach between her legs and over her torso, her mouth trailing lightly across Bea's chest, leaving soft, warm kisses over her body.  
The speed of which it arouses her astounds Bea, her breath immediately becoming heavy and more laboured.  
She finds her own hands limp at her sides and finding the strength to lift them, she buries her fingers in Allie's smooth blonde hair.  
Allie glances up and through the darkness Bea can see her smile.

  
"Good morning beautiful," she whispers warmly before she plants more tender kisses on Bea's body.

  
  
"What are you doing?" Bea croaks, her voice rough and raspy.

  
It's an illogical question because the answer is right there at her fingertips, but her mind hasn't caught up with it all just yet.

  
  
"You said last night was all about me," Allie whispers between kisses, her thumbs tracing gentle shapes over the undersides of her breasts.  
  
"Well it's morning now," she continues, leaving the _now it's all about you_ implied.

  
  
"Barely," Bea utters with a smile, pushing Allie's hair out of her face.

  
  
"I couldn't wait anymore, I have to have you."

  
  
And with that, Allie moves down between Bea's thighs and hooks her right leg over her shoulder.

Bea moans at the first touch of Allie's tongue, completely giving herself over to the pleasure that Allie spends the next few hours gifting her with.   
  
  
-  



	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie return home from their weekend away, finding some unexpected guests waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Again, I'm so sorry for the delay with this chapter.   
> Some clumsy twit (me) dropped her laptop and completely smashed the memory card containing this story.   
> So a small (large) re-write of this chapter had to be done... *insert obligitory dumb blonde jokes here* lol  
> Now for the good news!   
> I had intended this to be the last chapter but upon writing it, I found I had a little more to say.   
> Plus I'm not quite ready to say goodbye to this story (or all of you amazing readers) just yet. 
> 
> Bon appetit, Ballie lovers :)
> 
> xo

  
It's nearing dusk as Allie pulls into Bea's driveway.   
  
After they had checked out of their hotel, they had decided to spend a few extra hours exploring the little part of the world that Bea had quickly fallen in love with and found herself not wanting to leave.   
  
After lunch, Bea had suggested they spend time at the beach, enjoying the sun and each other's company before having to return to reality.   
Being a Monday, there was very few people around and Bea found it easier to relax, even managing to enjoy a swim in the ocean with her beautiful girlfriend before they laid about on the sand.   
  
Bea felt completely relaxed, content and at peace for easily the first time in her life.   
  
She was quietly contemplative on the drive home, already reminiscing about the getaway they had just shared together, still deeply touched by Allie's thoughtfulness.   
Allie had silently noted how quiet Bea had been, but seemingly, she had astutely deciphered from the small content grin her girlfriend was wearing that she was perfectly fine. She still slid a warm hand over Bea's thigh anyway, only removing it when she needed to change gears before quickly settling back against her thigh.   
  
It's funny really, Bea reflects, she's gone so long in her life without the desire to be touched and now, she _needs_ to feel Allie's gentle touch more than she cares to admit to herself.

  
"Bea," Allie says gently, the older woman not knowing her eyes were closed until the softness of Allie's voice had pried them open.   
  
"We're home."

  
As Bea takes a quick glance at her surroundings, she sees that Allie is right, and then the flutter finds her stomach.   
Something about Allie calling Bea's house home sounds so right and fills her with sudden excitement.   
She smiles warmly at Allie, but it's lost on her, her blue gaze is pointed elsewhere.

  
"Ah shit," Allie murmurs gravely, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Franky's car is here."

  
Thankfully the worry that's evident in her face is brief, chased away by her relieved smile at seeing Franky emerge from the front door with Bridget close behind, her arm wrapped loosely around the younger woman's waist, both smiling broadly as they step out onto the balcony to greet Bea and Allie.  
  
  
"Didn't expect to see you two," Bea says happily.

  
"I assumed you'd wanna get your lady bang on as soon as ya's got in the door," Franky grins devilishly.  
  
"Just wanted to clam jam ya one more time before I move out."

  
There's nothing but giggling between the four of them, Franky and Bridget's obvious elation at being back together spilling over, persuading Bea and Allie to share in it.   
Franky launches herself at Bea and pulls her in for a long, tight embrace.   
They each smile as they hold one another and for a moment, Bea is convinced that Franky may never let her go.   
She can feel the gratitude, it almost overwhelms her and she finds she has to hold back a sob.

  
"Thank you," Franky whispers quietly, loud enough only for Bea to hear.

  
Bea is suddenly choked up, too worried about the integrity of her own voice to reply so she gently pats her friend's back. But it's clear by the firmness of Franky's arms encapsulating her that she's not ready to let go just yet.

  
"Get in here, Blondie," Franky grins, breaking the circle of her arms long enough to make a beckoning gesture and let Allie in.   
  
  
Allie happily complies, wrapping her long arms around both Bea and Franky.

Bridget simply watches on with a broad smile and glassy eyes, her fingers clasped together and pressed against her own lips to hide their quiver.

  
"I was gonna call ya's to say thank you for what you both did, but Gidge said you'd gone away for a dirty weekend."

  
  
"I believe I actually said _romantic_ weekend," Bridget grins.

  
Bea chuckles and rolls her eyes, expecting no less from her tattooed friend as they finally step out of her embrace.

  
"There was nothing dirty about it," Bea murmurs, subconsciously reaching for Allie, tangling her fingers through the blonde's.

  
Bridget swiftly moves into the space beside Franky, wrapping her arms around the younger woman's waist again, cuddling her closely.

It really is nice to see Bridget so affectionate, Bea reflects, and to see Franky smiling again.   
Between the four of them, Bea thinks there's so much happiness, that it ought to be sickening.   
But it's not.   
It's the best feeling that Bea has ever experienced.  
To see her best friend so content, to know she played a small part in it and to feel the same way herself, it makes her heart soar.

  
"Then ya didn't do it right," Franky teases, earning a light, playful slap on the forearm from Bridget.

  
  
"Oh we _definitely_ did it right," Allie grins, glancing at Bea so lovingly that Bea feels as though she could kiss her with everything that she's got right there on the balcony, everyone else be damned.

  
  
"Putting my sex advice to good use then, hey Red?"

  
  
And just like that, Bea's cheeks flare.

  
"Franky! Behave," Bridget groans, her tone laced with warning, almost lost to the sounds of Franky's delighted and devilish chortle.

  
Allie simply smiles and buries a kiss into Bea's curls before rubbing her back soothingly, trying to chase away her embarrassment.

  
"Actually, we're here because we wanted to thank you for everything you've done," Bridget explains, trying to steer the conversation out of uncomfortable territory.   
  
"So we've prepared dinner as a little token of our appreciation."

  
  
"Thank you," Bea utters in her gravelly tone. "You didn't have to do that."

  
  
"Yeah we did," Franky replies instantly, a warm seriousness to her voice.   
  
"It's the least we could do."

  
The mood seems to shift, Bea can feel the change in Franky, as though all of her mocking and playfulness dissolves.

Bridget must sense it too, because she excuses herself to check on their meal and Allie follows, carrying Bea's bag inside.

When they're alone, Franky gestures to the stairs and Bea complies, easing herself down against the timber beside her friend.

  
"So how's things between you two?" Bea asks quietly.

  
It's an ill thought out question, given what she just witnessed, but she really doesn't know where to start.   
She knows Franky is going to ask her about the last two days with Allie and merely the thought of what transpired between them is enough to send ripples of excitement through her stomach.

  
"Fuckin amazing," Franky chuckles.   
  
"I wasn't expecting this _at all_. I never thought I'd get to call her mine again."  
  
She inhales a shuddering breath, the mere idea of having to go through life without Bridget by her side overtly too much for her to fathom.

  
"I owe you, Red."

  
  
"You don't owe me anything," Bea interrupts with a firm shake of her head, giving Franky no opportunity to continue.  
  
"You saved me, Franky. In more ways than one."

  
Seeing glimmers of tears gathering in her friend's eyes is enough to encourage the same reaction in Bea.   
She wishes she could say more, how immensely grateful she is for this life that she leads now, how indebted she feels she is to Franky for everything.   
But there are no words she can conjure to do her feelings justice.   
Instead, they share a meaningful glance and a smile. And its enough.

  
"It suits ya."

  
  
"What?" Bea frowns, not immediately catching on.

  
"Happiness."

  
Bea can't help the bashful smile that overtakes her mouth.  
She's glad it suits her because she's not about to give it up.

  
"So now that I'm moving out, how long til Blondie moves in?" Franky asks with a grin before pointing her tongue to the front of her teeth with a deviously probing glance.

  
Bea's stomach tumbles. Her mind goes to a range of places so swiftly, she can barely organise her thoughts.   
After the weekend they had just spent together, Bea had dared to indulge in the idea that yes, one day it could all be possible.   
Things between them always seem so effortless and wonderful, Bea has no doubt it's all leading to more.   
But she had quickly dismissed thoughts of it, realising that it's only been a couple of months since they first began dating.   
She'd hate to rush things and ruin everything that they're building together.

  
"I don't think we're there just yet," Bea replies softly, demurely.

  
Franky nods in acceptance, seemingly content with her answer and the promise it holds.

  
"You look good," she remarks, leaning back to fully survey her friend, propping herself up on her elbows.   
  
"You look relaxed and light, like ya haven't got a care in the world. Blondie's clearly looking after ya. You musta had a good time while you were away."

  
The way Franky quirks her brow tells Bea there's a sexual undertone to her statement and she's helpless against her telling grin.

  
"Spare me the details," Franky says quickly, holding her palm up.   
  
"I wanna be able to look her in the eye over dinner without picturing her polishing your pearl."

  
"Fuck," Bea manages before she's overtaken by a hearty, completely amused laugh, one that Franky delights in and shares with her.

  
At one point, not that long ago in her life, Franky's unique brand of tactless outspokenness offended Bea.   
She found herself shaking her head and rolling her eyes more times than she cared to count.   
But now, she not only expects it, she finds it endearing.   
  
One day, Bea imagines, she too might be able to engage in it without blushing.

As the sounds of their laughter subside, Bea sighs contently.

  
"I'm really gonna miss you."

  
  
"I'm not leaving the country dickhead, I'll see ya at work every day," Franky chuckles.

  
Bea suppresses a giggle inside her chest.

  
"You know what I mean," she murmurs quietly, her soft glance communicating the truth and depth of her sentiment.

  
Franky smiles warmly, suddenly void of any ridicule, sincerity painting her features as she nods lightly.

  
"Yeah," she manages, adopting the same soft volume as Bea. "I know."

  
They bask in the silence, enjoying the last few moments of this, of being able to call one another _roommate_.   
Out of everything they've endured together, Bea had never seen this coming, this wonderfully perfect friendship that breathes warmth and love into her life.   
Like her relationship with Allie, she feels blessed for having it.

  
"Come on," Franky says finally, using Bea's knee for leverage as she pushes herself up to a standing position.   
  
"We better get inside, don't want your Missus thinking I'm muscling in on her territory."

  
"Pfft, no chance," Bea scoffs, gently nudging her shoulder into Franky's, deciding, for once, to give into the cheeky reply that burns at the tip of her tongue.  
  
"She knows that my pearl is strictly hers for the polishing."

  
  
. . . . .

  
  
"Thank you for dinner," Bea husks in Franky's ear much later on as she holds her firmly within her arms for the second time in the same evening.

  
"No worries Red," Franky replies before she moves to Allie's embrace, the pair uttering their goodbyes as Bridget pulls Bea into her small frame.

  
"I'll call you from the office tomorrow," she whispers into Bea's ear, the sound of Franky's laughter at something Allie had said ensuring her words were missed by the younger brunette and blonde.

  
Dinner had gone exceptionally well, the food was delicious, as a Franky Doyle meal always was, and the four women shared numerous laughs over the course of the evening.

That was until Allie had dropped the bombshell that Bea had not been expecting.

  
"You'll never guess what, babe," Allie had uttered excitedly, her blue eyes glimmered with her child like enthusiasm.

"Turns out Bridget works with Aunty Kaz."

  
  
"You're kidding," Bea chuckled.

  
As her eyes met with Bridget's across the table, she had witnessed the older blonde's blank expression and intense glare, as if she was trying to communicate something with merely a look, although Bea didn't immediately catch on.

  
"I know right? It really is a small world."

  
  
"You never told me what Kaz does for a living, is she a Dr too?" Bea inquired.

  
  
"Nah she's a counsellor," Allie explained.

  
  
"What's her name?" Franky asked around a mouthful of food.

  
  
"Karen Proctor."

  
The feeling of dread that came over Bea sent her heart rate soaring.   
In that moment, she had been glad that Allie was too engrossed in the meal in front of her to notice the grim, desperate glance she gave Bridget across the table.

Having already assessed the weight of the situation in her mind, Bridget had simply winked at the redhead and silently mouthed the words _it's ok_.   
Bea knew then that there were other options, that Bridget wouldn't let her rake through her terrible past with the woman who is essentially Allie's mother figure.   
Just that look alone had given her enough reassurance to be able to continue through the evening with a smile, however forced it was at times.

  
Bea nods as Bridget steps out of her hold, squeezing the redhead's elbows gently before she too gives Allie a quick hug.

  
"Don't forget about Friday night," Franky affirms, sliding a hand behind Bridget's back as they stand ready to leave at the door.

"You can hold off going bumper to bumper long enough to come have a drink with us this time," she smirks, enjoying the inevitable blush that colours Bea's cheeks.

"I'm holding you to that promise you made me last time, Red."

  
"Fine," Bea says quickly, waving a hand dismissively in the air.

  
"Have a fucktastic night, lesbos," Franky winks playfully, the tip of her tongue just visible between her front teeth as she bites down gently, as if to stop herself from uttering more teasing words.

Bea giggles as she closes the front door against the cool, dark night outside and finds herself stepping into Allie's warm and waiting body.

  
"I guess I should be going too," Allie murmurs, tucking a section of Bea's soft hair behind her ear.

  
Bea feels the smile she had been wearing dissolve instantly.

  
"Oh," she breathes, unable to contain the disappointment she feels.

"Ok."

  
A small, slightly amused smile pulls at the corner of Allie's ample lips as she pulls Bea a little closer, closing the tiny gap between their bodies.

  
"Or I could stay," Allie offers, her sparkling blue eyes intently searching Bea's for the answer.

"If that's what you want?"

  
"Is that what _you_ want?"

  
Allie giggles, sending pulses of love and affection through Bea's heart, encouraging the smile back onto her lips once more.

  
"I want _you_ ," Allie says simply, her eyes becoming softer with every millimetre of creamy skin that her glance eats up over Bea's face, neck and chest.

"I always want you, but we all need time to ourselves at one point or another, I get that," she says softly, running the backs of her fingertips against Bea's cheek.

"And I don't want you getting sick of me."

  
Bea releases a light, airy laugh as she angles her head down, knowing that Allie can read her better than anyone ever has.

She wants to tell Allie just how much she could never grow sick of her, that she would happily spend every waking moment with her, if time and responsibilities were to allow it.   
Never in her life has she experienced feelings like these, this all consuming desire to neglect everything else that is mundane in her life in order to just be near Allie.

Perhaps one day, she'll be brave enough to effectively communicate the intensity of her feelings, she ponders.

Bea manages to meet Allie's gaze once more, finding nothing but love and patience in her soft features.

  
"It's different with you," she begins a little helplessly, trying to come up with sensible words that mask the magnitude of her feelings.

"I love having you here with me," she murmurs before pausing.   
  
"I'd like it if you stayed, I'm not sure that I could sleep without you beside me, but if you need a break from me then-"

  
Bea's words are silenced by Allie's mouth, her soft lips and warm tongue tracing gently yet passionately against the redhead's.

  
"Then it's settled," Allie whispers as they eventually part and she rests her forehead softly against Bea's.

"I'm staying the night. And any other night you want me to, as well."

  
Bea chuckles, feeling her body beginning to warm beneath the intensity of her girlfriend's lustful stare.

  
"Can I tell you a secret?" Allie whispers against the soft outline of Bea's ear, sending pleasant shivers down her spine.

  
She can only nod, too focused on the warm dampness that's already started to gather at the apex of her thighs.

  
"I've been keeping a spare work uniform in my car," Allie whispers again, taking obvious enjoyment from the way Bea's hands travel from her hips to grasp at the softly rounded curve of her backside.

"So I don't have to rush off early on the mornings that I stay over."

  
Bea can't help but gently bite at her bottom lip, failing to hide her growing arousal and pounding heart.

  
"Maybe you should bring your clothes inside and we can find a drawer to put them in," Bea offers before her mind allows her any time to process what she had just said, what she had just implied.

  
Allie's eyebrows raise, a small smile becoming evident across her mouth.

  
"Bea Smith, are you asking me if I'd like my own drawer at your place?"

  
Bea swallows hard, suddenly unsure how to approach Allie's reaction, suddenly apprehensive that she's asking for too much, too soon.   
Her heart rate begins to increase again, thumping beneath bone and flesh in a way that Bea thinks is visible to the naked eye.

  
"It's OK if you don't want-"

  
"Bea," Allie says softly, her warm palm reaching up to cradle Bea's cheek.

  
"Yeah?"

  
  
"Ask me."

  
  
"What?" Bea frowns, a kind of charmed confusion settling over her features.

  
  
"Ask me," Allie repeats softly, a sweet and slightly playful smile curling at the corners of her lips, successfully laying any doubts Bea had harboured to rest.

  
Bea manages to chuckle, a rough, husky sound that only makes Allie smile wider.

  
"Come on," the blonde urges gently, winding her other arm behind Bea's waist, playfully squeezing Bea's ass in her hands, revelling in the way the older woman rolls her pelvis against her tall, slender body.

"You know you wanna ask me," she winks.

  
  
"Ok," Bea sighs in delighted defeat, taking a deep breath before she continues.

"Allie Novak, would you do me the honour of accepting my drawer as a token of my love and commitment?"

  
  
"I'll have to think about that," she says flatly after a moment's thought, stifling a giggle as Bea's mouth falls open in faux disbelief.

"Terrible proposal by the way babe," she utters with a shake of her head.   
  
"Where's the candles? The rose petals? Where's _my_ fancy plate of oysters?"

  
Bea's body shakes with quiet, jovial laughter as she buries her face in the gentle curve of Allie's neck.

  
"I'll be sure to keep in mind how high your expectations are," Bea manages when her laughter finally calms to a point where she is able to speak again.

  
Allie's expression is soft and brimming with love, her eyes tracing over every single minute expanse of Bea's face with quizzical determination, as though she's commiting it all to memory.

  
"So... what do you think?" Bea asks a little nervously, realising that through all their banter, her question had gone unanswered.

  
"Yes," Allie whispers, leaning in to press her soft, warm lips against Bea's.

"I'd love to have a drawer here."

  
Bea's smile is interrupted by the gentle touch of Allie's lips on hers again, lingering this time, her long arms tightening around Bea's waist.   
  
  
"Would you like to come to my place after work tomorrow? Allie asks quietly, lifting a hand, twirling her long index finger through the loop of a red-brown curl.   
  
"You could bring some of your clothes over, maybe some of that incredible shampoo that smells like orchids..." she pauses to lean into Bea's neck and inhale the smell that she had mentioned, a smell she had associated with Bea since the very first time she was fortunate enough to get close enough to smell it.

  
Bea finds herself nipping at her bottom lip again, trying to tame her bright smile and the heat that suddenly settles over her body again.

  
"...And you can pick a drawer to have at my place. And your own key. If you want to."

  
Bea can only nod as she tries to control the tears that gather at the back of her throat.

  
"You sure?" She manages, although slightly more gruffly than usual.

  
  
"One hundred percent" Allie grins, glancing at Bea like a woman who would be willing to move mountains simply to prove how sure she is about it all.

"God Bea, I'll give you anything you want, _anything_. All you have to do is ask."

  
  
"There's only one thing I truly want," Bea begins as she lifts her arm, resting her fingertips against Allie's soft, warm neck before she gently drags the pad of her thumb over Allie's bottom lip.  
  


"You, my beautiful girl."

  
With a sheen of tears glistening in her eyes, Allie leans in and kisses Bea with everything she has.   
Its passionate, tender, loving and _so good_.  
When she finally manages to drag herself away from Bea's lips, she grips a soft hand around the back of Bea's neck, her eyes stormy with want, her breath ragged and uneven.

  
"I'm yours," she moans, unable to stop herself from kissing Bea again.   
  
"For as long as you want me, I'm yours."

  
Bea's stomach tumbles uncontrollably beneath her skin as she feels Allie's hands grip her hips and her body guiding Bea towards the stairs, eager to continue what they had initiated here in Bea's bedroom.   
  
Bea's mind is a storm, a beautifully crafted tempest of thought as she entertains the idea that maybe, just maybe, she wants Allie Novak until the end of time.   
  
  
-  
  
  



	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie join their friends for a night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are guys! The final chapter!  
> Before we get into it, I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for your support, love and keen, Ballie loving minds.
> 
> I started this story because like so many of you, I was disappointed with the way Wentworth handled Bea and Allie's relationship and I wanted to write them the happy ending that they so sorely deserved.   
> I had never intended to share it, but with some gentle arm twisting from a friend, here we are enjoying their journey together :)
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you who has read, given kudos, left comments and loved Bea Brave.   
> As a first time fan fic writer, you have all made me feel so welcome and appreciated :)  
> This certainly won't be the end for me, I already have several ideas and a solid start on a new piece, so keep your eyes peeled if you feel so inclined :)
> 
> If any of you follow the Wentworth, Jenko or Dan Facebook fan pages, feel free to say if you see me there (my real world name is Channon for anyone who hasn't done the stalking thing yet lol!)
> 
> So! For the final time,   
> please enjoy this chapter of Bea Brave :)
> 
> XOXO

Friday rolls around quickly, days merging and blurring into the next, dominated by the monotony of work and routine.   
Even though Bea loves her job and the notion that she gets to spend her work hours with her friends, she finds herself wishing the days away, longing for the nights.   
Longing for Allie.

It ought to be embarrassing, Bea thinks to herself as she sits quietly in the passenger seat of Franky's car, this kind of longing that has completely consumed her, making her soft, warm and distracted, making her cheeks ache beneath the weight of the smile that she can't seem to stop herself from wearing.   
A smile that she's worn since she became the object of Allie's affections.

  
"Earth to Red," Franky's commanding voice breaks her out of her deep contemplations.

  
"Hmm?"

  
"Fuck," Franky chuckles, sharing an amused and knowing glance through the narrow rear view mirror with Bridget, who is seated in the back passenger seat behind her girlfriend.

  
"She's at it again."

  
"What?" Bea asks with a small frown, completely unaware of the conversation that had apparently been occuring around her.

  
"You were staring off into space again, Bea," Bridget remarks with a warm, benevolent smile.

  
"We call it the Novak effect," Franky snickers.

  
"Oh, sorry," Bea husks, offering a small smile.

  
"Don't be," Bridget says, leaning forward in the small car to squeeze a brief and gentle hand around Bea's shoulder.

"It's lovely to see you like this."

  
It's a comment she's heard a lot lately, her friends and a few observant regulars in the salon all eager to tell her that she's beaming, she's glowing or that it's nice to see her smiling so much.   
Even Debbie had noticed during their most recent Skype session two nights ago, trying but failing to embarrass her Mother with comments of her new cheerful persona, sounding alarmingly like Franky when she credited Allie and Allie's 'magic touch' for the change in Bea.   
She had been thrown when Bea didn't blush like she had always known her Mum to do, and the redhead had simply shrugged and declared it all to be true.

There's no part of Bea that is embarrassed by the effect that Allie has on her.   
Knowing she has Allie's love, and that she alone gets to be the one to be near her, to touch her and be touched by her, it makes Bea feel an air of invincibility, like she is capable of anything, like all the negativity that had once dominated her life has now been swallowed up by the earth, never to touch her or sour her days again.

  
"Fuck sake Red, focus would ya," Franky groans, waving a hand in front of Bea's face, breaking Bea from her thoughts again.   
  
  
She doesn't bother apologising this time, it would only be a lie anyway.   
She simply cannot be sorry for feeling this way.

  
"I said what time can we expect Blondie tonight," Franky says slowly, as if it's Bea's understanding of her words that's the problem, not the fact that she hadn't heard them at all.

  
"She's not sure, she got caught up at work, she'll meet us there when she can."

  
"Ugh and in the meantime we have to put up with that broody, lovesick little pout of yours."

  
As Bea glances over, she sees her tattooed friend, eyes fixed on the road ahead of her, wearing her trademark devilish grin.  
  
  
"You know, I always had you pegged as the cool kind. I always reckoned that if you ever found someone else, you'd be more levelheaded about it all. But you're completely smitten, like a lovesick little puppy."

  
Bea doesn't need any time to ponder this. She herself knows it to be true.   
  
  
"Course I am," she replies with a shameless shrug.   
  
"But you are too."

  
Bridget chuckles ironically from the back seat.  
  
"She's got you there baby."

  
They arrive at the bar a short time later and Bea scans the crowded room for that familiar glimpse of iridescent blonde hair that she loves.

  
"She's not here yet love," Maxine murmurs into her ear, seemingly appearing from nowhere, or perhaps Bea had simply been too distracted to notice her tall friend standing beside her.   
  
  
"Come on," she utters in more of her smooth, soft tone as she takes Bea's hand with a smile.  
  
"Liz and Booms found a table in the back."

  
"Uhh, we'll meet you there in a moment," Bridget pipes up from Bea's left.   
  
"First round of drinks is on me. Bea would you mind giving me a hand?"

  
Bea nods her agreement, recognising the brief, pointed look the small blonde sends her way.

As Franky and Maxine navigate their way through the packed room and Bea and Bridget join the long queue for the bar, Bridget seems to wait until they're out of sight before she slides her hand into the pocket of her cropped leather jacket.   
In one smooth movement, she tucks a white envelope, folded in half into the pocket of Bea's black pants, her light eyes inconspicuously fixed straight ahead.

  
"Amended, as promised," Bridget says with an assuring smile.

  
She had kept her word and had called Bea from her office early on Tuesday morning, apologising for the near-catastrophe with Kaz Proctor and had written a new referral to another counsellor on the other side of town.

  
"Thank you," Bea murmurs with a nod of her head and a deeply inhaled breath.

  
She's really doing this, finally taking the last steps to completely rid herself of the old Bea Smith.   
She'd been through therapy before, but out of necessity, under Bridget's firm recommendations.   
This time, she's doing it for herself, for Allie and for the new life that dangles before them, begging to be grasped, held close and cherished, a life that is full of promise and hope.   
  
Bridget glances over at her, her lingering, quietly contemplative gaze making Bea self conscious. She manages a quick, shy smile before her brown eyes fall away, landing on her shoes.

  
"Are you sure you even need therapy Bea? You seem happy, blissfully so."

  
Bea's eyes dance restlessly around the room as she ponders this.  
Perhaps she really doesn't need help, maybe it's just another way that Harry had tried to destroy her, messing with her mind and her confidence, forcing her to believe there is always going to be something she needs to fix about herself.   
Maybe the remedy to the emotional scars and psychological torment Harry inflicted was simply to be rid of him and for her heart to be handled with warmth and tenderness. 

  
"Maybe I don't need it," Bea says softly as Bridget leans in closer to hear her over the crowd around them.   
  
"But I wanna be certain, now that I have so much in my life that's too good to lose."

  
Bridget's smile grows, a gentle look of warmth, empathy and pride.   
Bea is relieved she chooses not to speak, simply turning her attention to the bartender who finally takes her order.   
  
  
As they reach their table with trays of drinks, Bea scans the room again but finds no trace of her girlfriend and tries to fight her disappointment, struggling not to let it show.   
She manages to engage in conversation with her friends for a while, before Franky and Boomer head over to the bar for the next round of drinks.   
Bridget and Liz appear deep in serious coversation as Maxine gently nudges Bea's shoulder, using the moment of near privacy to gain her friend's attention.

  
"Hey, what was all that about before?" She asks softly, indicating in Bridget's direction with a nod of her head.   
  
"Everything OK?"

  
"Yeah," Bea says with a smile.   
  
  
She really should know by now that she is completely incapable of hiding anything from her dear friend.

"She's helping me."

  
With a softly probing stare, Maxine seems to wait for more, for an explanation to put her mind to rest.   
Bea drains the last mouthful of alcohol from her glass, taking composure from the cool liquid as it slides down her throat.

  
"I've decided to go back to therapy."

  
"Oh Bea," Maxine sighs, taking Bea's hand within her own, sadness glistening in her eyes. "You don't need it honey, you're not broken anymore."

  
"But I'm not sure that I'm completely healed," Bea confesses, trying to avoid Maxine's glance for fear of unravelling beneath it.

  
"Of course you are. You're not the same downtrodden, subjugated woman from before."

  
At one point, all Bea had seen in herself was somebody consumed by defeat, all rough edges and bristling with thorns.  
But now she has Allie and her sweet, gentle kind of love, memories of the former are just that, distant memories.

  
"This Bea Smith? The one I'm looking at now? She's the most wonderful person I've ever met," Maxine gushes and Bea can do nothing else but smile, putting all of her efforts into chasing away her obtrusive emotions, allowing her bashful glance to land upon some non-specific spot on the table before her.

  
"I guess we all know who I have to thank for the changes in me," Bea murmurs, unable to stop her mind from tracing back to Allie.

  
"Yes, we do," Maxine utters, angling her head in an effort to meet Bea's gaze.

"It's you, Bea."

  
  
Before Bea can truly process the weight and the relevance of her friend's words, Franky and Boomer return, each armed with a tray full of alcohol.

  
"I've got shots, bitches!" Boomer declares victoriously, ignoring the groans and displeased objections from the other women as she begins placing the small glasses on the table in front of each of her friends.   
  
"Youse are all doin at least one shot with me so don't even argue hey."

  
"Oh Booms, I'm too bloody old to do shots," Liz protests with a few firm shakes of her head, loosening a greying curl from her low ponytail as she crosses her arms across her chest.

  
"Oi Birdsworth, do as you're told," Franky says warningly, her tone thick with authority but her expression full of humour.

  
"Well I can't do shots on an empty stomach," Maxine murmurs, grabbing a laminated menu from the centre of the table.

  
Bea leans in closer to read it too, keen to curb the grumbling in her stomach when Franky's loud voice distracts her from everything else.

  
  
"Hey Blondie's here!" She announces happily.

  
Bea snaps her head up so swiftly, she's surprised that she doesn't give herself whiplash.   
Her eyes settle on Allie, her slender figure adorned in a casual, short black dress, her short hair is down and she looks at each of the women briefly, smiling as she utters polite greetings.   
Until her eyes lock with Bea's.

Bea's breath catches in her chest as she watches the smile on her ample lips grow and her eyes become soft as they dance across Bea's features.

It's been weeks of this, of her heart jumping within her chest every time their eyes meet, of her stomach scuttling beneath her skin.   
When Allie winks, Bea cannot help but blush a little, a surge of sweet warmth surging through her body.

  
Everything around her is the same, Franky is expectedly saying something inappropriate, Boomer is cackling loudly, Bridget is trying to persuade her girlfriend to desist despite being visibly amused and Liz and Maxine simply glare and groan like disapproving parents of misbehaving children.   
But it's all indistinct, drowned out by this intense connection of locked eyes and smiling lips.

  
"Allie, come sit here love," Maxine urges, vacating her seat beside Bea as the young blonde eagerly complies, pressing a kiss to Maxine's cheek before settling down.

  
"Hi," she says sweetly, gently nudging her shoulder into Bea's.

  
It's just another way that she sets Bea's heart rate into overdrive, the soft sounds of her voice, the brief touch, the shy uncertainty of whether or not to kiss Bea in front of everyone else.

  
"Hey," Bea says softly, feeling shy beneath the intense and expectant glances she knows her friends are directing her way.

  
"Sorry I'm late," the blonde utters, chancing a gentle brush of her fingertips against Bea's thigh beneath the table.  
  
  
"That's ok," Bea breathes out, hoping the heat that's pooling in her stomach and extending into her limbs isn't as visible on her skin as she suspects it is.   
  
  
"Work was crazy," Allie sighs, looking overwhelmed for a moment.   
  
"Then I wanted to go home to change and get a taxi here so I can have a few drinks with you."   
  
  
There's a mundaneness to her words, nothing particularly spectacular about their general conversation but Bea cannot control the way her heart throbs within her chest.   
She thinks she's covering it well, this unreasonable response to the simple sound of another person's voice until Boomer's yelling forces her to realise she's guarding no secrets.   
  
  
"Oi Bea, just kiss her, ya don't gotta be polite around us, we don't care if ya's wanna play tonsil hockey."

  
Bea rolls her eyes, her sweet smile replaced by a scowl as Franky's burst of laughter almost drowns out Liz's firm, low tone, urging Boomer to leave the couple alone.

When Bea meets Allie's glance again, the young blonde stares at her softly, her smile speaking her amusement but her eyes laden with lust.   
She feels Allie's soft fingertips brush against her thigh again, then her palm sliding slowly against her.   
When she leans in, Bea braces herself for more, for the touch of lips against her own.

  
"For the record," Allie breathes, her soft, sultry tone just audible over the sounds of music and dozens of conversations mingling into one undecipherable tangle of voices.

"I want to kiss you... and I think you know that. But I can wait until we're alone."

  
Bea swallows hard, her mouth suddenly dry. Simply the idea of being alone with the blonde, to be free to do as she pleases with her lips and hands, it sends a delighted flutter through her heart, ripples of it lapping at her most intimate areas.

  
"Besides," Allie continues, her eyes sweeping across the group of women around them, searching for any sign that they're being observed or listened to and finding none, she leans in a little closer, gripping Bea's thigh a little more firmly.   
  
"One quick peck on the cheek isn't exactly what I had in mind."

  
Bea nibbles at the inside of her cheek, a soft, quick rush of breath falling from her lips as her heart thuds a little faster while wondering what exactly Allie does have in mind.

To hell with it, Bea decides boldly.

  
"You might be able to wait until we're alone, but I can't," she challenges huskily.

  
Allie's eyes immediately soften as she glances at Bea's lips hungrily at first, the intensity falling away as she looks back up into Bea's eyes, searching for confirmation.   
It's Bea who leans in, taking the initiative before her bravado slips away.

As soon as her lips touch Allie's, gentle and slow, like kisses with Allie always have been, the other women begin to cheer and applaud, as though this kind of gesture is a rare one for Bea and is worthy of celebration.

Because it _is_.

It's not as salacious as her friends are making it out to be, it's merely a gentle skimming of lips against lips, but it sets Bea's body alight.

They manage to kiss for a few moments longer before Bea feels Allie smile against her mouth.   
Bea draws back, eyes opening to see Allie's expression full of affection before the blonde presses another quick peck against Bea's lips.

  
"Proud of you," Allie says low into Bea's ear as she winds an arm behind Bea's back and draws her close into her side, the gentle tickle of Allie's warm breath awakening a swarm of butterflies in the depths of Bea's abdomen.

  
It's a feeling that stays with her for the night, intensifying with every innocent touch, with each time that Allie grips Bea's hand beneath the tabletop, with every glance that brims with warm fascination.  
After dinner, Allie rises from the table, kissing Bea's cheek softly before she makes her way over to the bar to order the next round of drinks, Franky offering to lend a hand.   
Despite the spirited conversation around her and the inebriated chortles of her friends, Bea feels as though everything else around her lessens and fades as she watches Allie walk away, her eyes following the lines of her long legs, the ghost of a smirk teasing her lips as she watches the slight sway of Allie's hips.   
  
She feels a sense of accomplishment begin to brew in her stomach, threatening to overwhelm her and bring tears to her eyes.   
She's never had this, someone to share simple joys with, someone who fits into her life and makes it better.   
Bea's life, once dark and desolate is now bright and simple, something she never thought it could be.

  
"She's something else, your girl," Liz says quietly, leaning in closer to Bea's side.

  
"Yeah," Bea breathes out, feeling the warmth of the love that's filling her heart spread through her chest.   
  
"I'm lucky."

  
"No Bea," Liz says softly and Bea turns her glance toward her friend, finding her features brimming with thoughtful merriment.   
  
"Luck has nothing to do with it love."

  
The older woman grasps Bea's hands, clinging to her like mere words aren't substantial enough, like she needs Bea to know how serious she is.

  
"You endured and you fought and you survived. You've earned this."

  
Bea can only stare, her dark eyes switching between Liz's as her words register.   
Her mind gives her nothing expressable, just a twisted ravel of contemplations.   
She doesn't know how long they sit and stare for but when Bea comes back to herself, Allie is back at the table and handing out the newest round of drinks.

  
"I know you like shots, Booms," she says, passing the large woman the shot glass with a wink.

  
"Oh cheers Blondie," she utters happily. "None of these other weak bitches will do em with me," she continues teasingly.

  
"Can't have that," Allie smiles broadly as she reveals a second shot glass that she clinks against Boomer's before they both throw them back with a victorious laugh afterwards.

  
"Oi Bea!" Boomer shouts, swaying in her chair a little. "She's fuckin awesome hey! Marry her!"

  
  
They all laugh, amused that Boomer's stamp of approval is so easily obtained.

Bea knows its far too early for talk like this but it's not the first time she's thought of Allie in the context of forever.   
It doesn't terrify her like it did when she was with Harry and forever was some undetermined length of time, the concept that one day, she might not have woken from one of his brutal beatings had always lingered.  
  
It makes her happy to imagine forever with Allie.   
And from the smile on Allie's ample lips, she knows that it's something the blonde seems content with too.

  
  
"To love!" Franky calls out, raising her glass in the air.

  
  
"And to Bea for finding hers," Maxine adds with a well-intentioned wink.

  
  
Bea simply blushes as the women all murmur different words of agreement and encouragement and they all toast.

  
They all filter off at one point, Maxine and Liz opting for a friendly game of pool, while Boomer joins Franky and Bridget on the makeshift dancefloor, leaving Bea and Allie at the table, hand in hand while Allie's other hand trails lightly up and down the inside of Bea's forearm.

  
  
"Are you having a good time?" Bea asks softly.

  
The bar is loud but they're sitting so closely to one another that its not a strain to hear.

  
"The best," Allie says with a little drunken giggle.   
  
"Your friends are amazing."

  
Bea nods as her eyes settle on Franky, whose eager hands wrap around Bridget's backside and pull, bringing their pelvises together hard. She seems to delight in Bridget's little surprised yelp before they both give in to a fit of laughter, kissing softly once it subsides.

  
"Yeah, they are."

  
Allie traces her light eyes over Bea's content expression.   
She seems to ponder something for a moment before gathering a little bravery to say what's on her mind.

  
"Do you see it now?" She asks quietly.

  
"See what?" Bea asks with a tiny frown, turning her body to face Allie completely.

  
Allie hesitates for a moment, swallowing hard as she continues to gaze into Bea's eyes.

  
"That you're something."

  
It takes a moment for comprehension to strike Bea, but when it does, her chest grows tight and her pulse quickens.   
Harry.   
His voice inside of her head, echoing his scornful abuse.   
_You're nothing_.

  
Suddenly, Bea realises it's an insult she hasn't heard in the halls of her mind in a long time.

  
"How did you remember that?" Bea manages to ask, shaking her head lightly, amazed that Allie is able to recall that small snippet of information from one conversation.

  
"I remember everything you tell me," Allie says, a little relief in the small smile that whispers across her lips.

  
" _He_ was nothing," she continues, taking a chance to press on, taking cues from Bea's expression.

"Each one of your friends, they all think you're something."

  
Bea doesn't quite know where all of this is coming from, or whether it's the alcohol that's giving Allie the courage to say things that she had only thought to herself until now.   
But from the loving glint in Allie's eyes and the softness in her voice, Bea knows that she means it all.

  
"I think you're something. And if I'm totally honest, to me, you're everything."

  
Bea swallows the lump that's forming in the back of her throat as Allie leans in a little closer, reaching a hand up to softly stroke Bea's cheek.

  
"I love you Bea," she breathes. "More and more each day."

  
Bea's resolve begins to break as she feels tears start to sting her eyes.   
She thinks she's never been this touched by one person before and doubts she ever will be again.

  
"I love you too Allie," she manages to utter. "More than I could ever express with just words."

  
Allie grins playfully, a mischevious grin that Bea has grown to love.

  
"Words are good," she says, sniffling. "But actions are better."

  
  
Bea can't help but laugh a little. "Are you propositioning me, Novak?"

  
"Might be," Allie returns with a cheeky twitch of her eyebrow. "Why don't you come home with me and find out?"

  
Bea moves in even closer until there's merely millimetres between them.

  
"Let's go."

  
  
They say their goodbyes and Bea steps back to watch as Allie moves her way around the group, hugging, kissing cheeks and uttering pleasantries to each of their friends.

Yes, she thinks, feeling oddly introspective.   
This is her life now, the life that she had craved time and time again as she sat upon the ocean shore, trying to cling onto some shred of hope that there was something more to life than the bleakness and desolation that hers offered.

Now her life is full of laughter and light, full of positivity, possibilities and happiness.  
  
And full of love.

As her eyes trace over her friends, Bea realises she couldn't have reached this point without each and every one of them.   
At one point or another, they'd all provided an ear to listen with, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help.   
But she can see it now, it wasn't just them, it was her too.  
Her strength, her will and her determination have brought her here.

  
"Are you ready?" Allie asks as she reaches for Bea's hand, threading their fingers softly through one another's.

  
Bea nods, smiling warmly, feeling the truth of it in every last inch of bone and sinew.

She's ready to see what this new life of hers has in store for her, despite feeling as though she already has everything a person could ever need.   
A loving girlfriend, a beautiful daughter, wonderful friends, her dream home and a job she loves.   
  
Bea Smith really does have it all now.

  
All because she is brave.

 

 

 


End file.
